@Juneeighteen when the one touch latte machine sits on your desk, you're never out of coffee.

@lotd you saw an opportunity and you took it. You're one of the good ones.

Just use my bosses method.
"Always just quote em 300 hours."

We lose 1000s of dollars, all the time, but there's gotta be a reason he's sticking to old faithful... right?

@sinisas I like this idea.
It's perfect for having the team take watercooler breaks to have a good laugh at a common interest.

@bittersweet he won't use slack due to "its too complicated"

Instead we should use Skype because he can make a new conversation thread every few minutes.

However, they do have a cat pictures bot, so you might have saved the day.

I haven't figured this out yet.

CEO: Let me get into the code and tweak it. I was a Java developer 10 years ago.

Me: It is not a Java project.

CEO: I just don't like being so hands off on the project.

Me: Sure but we still need to quote... you need to call...
YOU SET US BACK 2 FUCKING WEEKS EVERY TIME YOU TEABAG YOUR KEYBOARD AND CLICK SAVE.

I got the creator's update in a preview release and it ransacked my 1060.

I got it as standard rollout recently and were down to a few BSOD and random logless reboots... So, pretty normal for windows.

This was literally going to be my exact rant. Despite this atrocity happening... more than once, I'll still come to work to find that my boss couldn't resist deploying that small bug fix.

@inpothet It's worth affixing one to your workstation IMO

@QueenMorgana I think that means I've died and become the matrix.

That would be cool at least.

@Zakhrov my sentiment exactly.

@bittersweet I'm honestly sold & will commit this as truth for my every day vernacular

God dammit, I told you countless times that this pageless, formless bug is P1

This goes both ways.

As a team lead, I want my guys to make more decisions (and fucking reasonable ones?)

But right about the time they get on a roll making these decisions, someone pops off something totally asinine that costs the team a week or more.

I have a few clients that I record 100% of phone calls because, in real time, they would do this.

"Move the logo to the right. Great. Now remove the text. Change the color. WHAT THE FUCK? WHY IS THE LOGO ON THE RIGHT? LOOKS LIKE COMPLETE SHIT."

I'm sorry, valued customer, but please excuse me for a 5 minute suicide break.

@dimitarnestorov

Right. As the IT Director for a grocery store, I regularly got employee calls for "the freezer is broken, it's electronic so you fix it right?"

OK, no, the thermostat is electronic.
And no. I can open er up and smash around a bit, maybe that'll do the trick.