Aboutsoftware engineer by day
Skills.net, sql, asp.c#
Joined devRant on 6/24/2016
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Only for the fact i had my earphones turned off I overheard the BA saying the ticket im working on is no longer a problem as the external vendor has fixed the issue.
What the Actual Fuck is going on, if i didnt ask what the story was i would have been working on a fucking bug that wasnt present in live or ever will be,!!
Get to Fuck you God Damn Ass Clown
Me: B.A could we please go through this bug u raised
B.A: Sure can we do it after stand up
Me: sure (one hour away)
Me: can we go through this now
B.A: 10 mins
Total time lost waiting on this shit
HAHAHAA fucking ridiculous5
just overhearing someone in my office,
he found a bug with someone's code who sits beside him,
I have now listened to him tell everyone in the team, blatantly pointing out the simple mistake he made, (parameter order)
In my mind im thinking this guy is a CUNT making himself look better,6
Need help deciding,
Stay as a contractor in my new job that I started this week,
Or jump ship n play with bleeding edge tech with software house2
I'm organizing my leaving handover etc,
Just spent the better part of 2 hours making sure a graduate, who due to come on the project has the environment all set up, which is cool dont wana see them stuck,
But when u ask a mid/senior level dev how his set up is goin and he replys with his user name and password for a VM and says, "Work away at it yourself" ,
thats when im trying to hold back my inner Hulk and not lose the Fucking plot! Lazy Cunt!
When someone decides to alter the UI and replace replace buttons with glyphicons with zero id's or anything and Breaks the UI integration testing project and doesnt even realise.!
FML on a Friday pre testing env release 2!
Think im going to cry,
Just got asked to help set up visual studio,
this person is not even a junior dev,
dont think thats even an excuse tbh,
Thankfully im outa here in a week,5
Old one but popped into my mind today,
during 3rd year project, when all computer science students were mixed together,
I wrote the design / implementation doc
had a lot of acronyms as it was a technical course
referenced VS IDE
Idiot on team came along and decided to expand these acronyms
IDE became Intercompany Data Exchange
I lost the plot as he submitted it before i proof read the thing!
Un Fucking Believable
The Smell of Shite floating around my office is crazy,
Suppose the smell compliments the state of this Stupid Fucking Place,
had to restore my local Dev database after UI automation was creating loadsa rubbish entities,
Laughing at my old self,
Sql backup name
haha love a bit of rage Names
JUST IN TIME!!
Four weeks worth of UI Automation done in four days!!
Gona be the drunkest Irish Man on the Island
jump on Customer Call 1st thing in the morning and this Doll is bouncing off the walls,
I actually think shes a alcho who rocks up in the morning buzzing In the Best of form
if ur gona be a drunk, be a happy drunk
Just checked the testing project that came from a group of contractors
Seeing Tests that have no details that have been there for months,
Fuckers have these in here to show test count as high!!!!!!!!!!1
So when at work I love working from Jira/TFS and having little interaction when i'm battling through Code/Documentation
But Next time my manager strolls over to my desk and kicks my chair i'm Gona King Leonidas his ass out the 3rd floor window
FFS please reach out via Lync if u are planning to come up and annoy my tits!!!!!!
On the Clients dial in number, in the waiting room:
Such a Porn Groove playing
Pretty apt i suppose
most the time I'm either Fucked or about to get Fucked on these calls1
You know ya listening to too much daft punk when you start calling methods after the song your listening too, SearchDaFunc Func returning to a polling Func, anyway here's Da Funk
If something goes wrong is the 1st response to investigate
Jump on IM and ask the person who last committed?
I would be in the opinion to have a look yourself and try identify the problem before fucking ranting at the last person who touched the code,
Reasons, Maybe that last person is busy and doesnt want to context switch back for a simple problem that would take less than 5 mins fucking investigation time, 1st thing in the morning too doesnt help!1
In my office, it requires security clearance, but the office is sooo fucked up it takes months to get it sorted
So, now in the position of people knocking at doors, annoying you at your desk to take your pass, often for large periods,,, leaving me sweating when im dying for a piss
WTF is going through MGMT heads,
Of course im sitting next to the fucking door, so when u sitting down to do some nice code, fucking knock on the door,
And wouldnt mind but its the same fucking Wagon who smokes, pisses and chats on the phone like its a God damn super power, as i type this im looking over my divider and they're rolling yet another fucking smoke!
I need out of this fucking 7th ring of Dantes inferno hello hole1
getting onto the elevator just behind someone,
like 3 seconds behind him,
he presses his floor and doesn't press the hold doors option, doors close on me , coffee goes all over the place
Fuck that Ballbag, hope he eats sumthing dodgy and he shits himself!!6
Just sit down from lunch,
Great song on spotify,
Load up visual Studio,
In a happ place,
FUCKING FUCKTY IM comes in
"Got 10 mins"
Well the clown strikes again,
How do u break production and a testing environment in one night?
One full month preping for same thing that revolves around one config file and assured us he was confident,
he managed to fuck it up so bad for the team d brass lost d plot,
I'm not one for condemning people but my God Dante's inferno woulda had an extra ring if he worked with this buck,
The stupidity has shattered my belief in sunshine and rainbows
Think My manager is following me on this, need more anonymity @dfox need to change my username and put a balaclava on my avatar2