@retoor

if you know how to condense that further lmk.

ive tried simple "swelling in my spinal cord"... that's apparently either code for 'i dont feel comfortable giving more details so just assume im gonna die but don't ask anything' or tons of assumptions that are mostly asked... both varieties end up with some chain reaction of cards and\or vague offers and\or suggestions of 'helping me get through this emotionally'... or worse.

basically everything that's short simple either seems somewhat facetious or like a personal slight to someone or gets some amped up story of me being about to die.

tbh, i was pretty critical for awhile... but now, a bunch of shit that i never expected any viable solution or cure to, is strongly connected to this thing that should be able to be wiped out(well made dormant) with enough drugs... even the painful af handicap in my left arm and left leg should have much less pain.

biggest annoyance now is every new dr think im nuts, for new reasons

@retoor
knowing\telling myself via some creepy clue trail that only id understand, also confirming that i mustve been the sole architect.

spent 2mo making an intense system to record and analyse anything i(mainly, amnesia-me) may do... which ofc had to be tamper proof... against me\amnesia-me.

... tons of mindfucks and realisations of damage i\a crazy version of me could actually cause later...

several severe neuro symptoms from pressure (now clearly swelling) in my cervical spine later...

over 3wks stuck at my mother's, in and out of ERs(or admitted), then she say something weird in my eye... used a work connection (she's anesthesia) to get to a cornea specialist hours later.

cornea specialist looks at my eye, prescribes valtrex(valacylovir-- typically for cold sore or genital herpes, i have neither)

due to hives(and beyond)when reducing the valtrex, and old hhv6 meningitis diag, im currently on so much valtrex, via an eye dr, ive had 2 very odd conversations with pharmacists.

@retoor

well... the short version...
apparently a virus,
( nearly the entire population of the world has had since before the age of 3 and typically never bothers adults without aids or leukemia (i have neither))
reactivated back around age 8... causing tons of weird, seemingly disconnected medical conditions since then.

in my adult years ive had much more severe issues (sudden, total loss of consciousness, weird heart shit, the other conditions(hives\rash, high temp idiopathic fevers, extreme fatigue, etc), including meningitis(6yrs ago, LP\csf showed said virus(hhv6) but since i ended up recovering enough to go home, a dr treated it like a typical non-issue)
and migraines, minus the headache, giving me transient amnesia (like total, not foggy memory).
January i became aware of the amnesia (also recurrence of weird migraines) because, like any sane person, i told myself, while apparently knowing i would be having amnesia of the event...

I ended up messaging the seller(not sure if i got a response cuz i havent been back to look for one)...

from the way it was written i just reeeeeaally wanted to know if he realised that no standard\marketed (basically anything not specifically made for some unimaginably ridiculous reason(s)) computer can ever boot to BIOS if it has no RAM.

so... did he mean that somehow BIOS, with working RAM is somehow non-functional?

... aside from someone directly opening it up and removing or, with much skill and precision, intentionally shorting out only the BIOS storage chip... id really want to buy it just to discover why\how.

or...

does he not know any OS, including BIOS requires RAM?

the only other thing i can think of is that, for some, likely nonsensical, reason, he really wanted to make sure that a potential buyer wasnt buying a gutted computer to play in BIOS (which tbh sounds nutty even to me... and on rare occasion i write code in winre)

@Demolishun @retoor

yeah... didnt check if devrant killed the photos again. that said, its not THAT exaggerated

i did call... i don't remember if it had a voicemail or not... if it did,i definitely left a msg, if not, i def sent a text... no response

@Tounai physical book vs my frustration, sanity and time sink... im not one to be scammed.

@12bitfloat

~2yrs ago i found out ppl "practice" code... not just write it and edit\fix\re-engineer. i had literally never considered this. immediately i asked like a dozen ppl i knew about this. it seems mostly a generational thing(from start of dev not age)... so everyone around my age(32) or below actually wrote essentially unusable code before attempting any usable code.

it still blows my mind. doctors\surgeons...you should practice, a lot, on non-humans, when possible... code thats not being immediately put into some corruptible live system... i dont get it.

side note:
do to this, and several other factors (like assuming people "building" a computer, meant what i was doing... cutting\joining\remapping mobos, including Frankenstein-esq de\re-soldering chips etc, and ofc driver creation)... with most things, esp tech, i have a dangerous lacking of any valid frame of reference. teach someone about storage?...im pretty sure i should stop before data fragmentation patterns right?

@12bitfloat
yea... glad i got *not that*.

the 2 big, initial, issues with that free one, just from your short few lines...

1. i almost exclusively use physical books. digital books and i rarely get along. most e-readers have some annoying delay or page-turn animation\sound\inability to rapidly turn pages. using something that scrolls tends to suck for me too. idk if it's a smoothness\frame rate issue or just not compatible with how my eyes focus. ive considered experimenting and\or building my own... but that's kinda voided by the same rationale of learning the content>> building something else. i think i just read too fast.

2. beginner books-
though, in any subject, i tend to avoid them like the plague (by start of 2nd grade i already made a short script for Microsoft sam to read whatever was reqd, on a loop, while i played neopets, consoles, etc).

recently this has been harshly reaffirmed. ive had to go through newb books\etc for babydevs.

@Root
time 2, i gave up\wrote new... asked 2 devs that worked there(w\crap scripts) awhile, apparently disliked each other, to each make a simple, complete, list (and flow) what the crap did. best list won.

wrote most of it b4 seeing any list. seeing the lists, i had them each format\comment\document what i wrote (high functioning, not pretty, code, esp then).

showed their work to their sups(lvls up too). i pointed out tons they didn't need me for; they needed like a school chart with gold stars, and the 2 working separately.

comical as it is, it's mind boggling for me. i get i think differently, on a phys\electrical lvl, but crap like that always seems so obvious to me, despite months+ of failed solutions.

that said... i pity the fool whod ever need update most of my scripts. think, the concept of CSS, ~5 world languages used, w\abbreviations, no\rare comments & some (nowadays) extreme methods of resource optimisations (like manually using binary for storage based per item\var)

@Root

the legit people here that still work for someone\something else... like you... always tend to reinforce my life decisions. thank you.

a few times, whilst consulting, it's been necessary to fix some bash... or batch... pile o' scripts, due to everything suddenly going SNAFU (generally also the reason i was there... not cheap for them).

the 1st 2x i tried to just find issues and tweek into a viable system-- horrible waste of time and a new black hole created next to any hopes i had for humanity.

i swear, it was akin to those og cartoon tropes where they find a hole in the boat so they plug it with their finger, then another hole opens... etc

oh... also, though im not saying i dont appreciate the sacrificed morons of this pursuit...

The still baffling thing imo:
ofc people would've quickly, and less casualties, realised that when food sat out for too long, smelled totally different and pungently putrid, eating it was a bad, harmful, idea... (though much later in history, a good chunk of white people did believe that flies were created\born purely of rancid raw meat)

but who decided that knowing rotting food caused more intense, life-threatening, illness the longer it was left rotting... but hey, when the fumes produced by rotten produce got to the point of a literal burning aroma, that even increased the power of fire, and was now nearly totally liquidfied and bubbling gases, dropping insects from the sky and dissolving their exoskeletons... NOW it would be a safe, wise, idea to consume it??

@Grumm @tosensei

this is old... in my defense, i was critically ill in a very abnormal way that has apparently been slowly leveling up via battles with my immune system til it eventually started to win... so basically like any training montage.

As a kid I often considered 'what possibly suicidal daredevils\dumbasses, finding things they never saw and deciding eating them was a wise idea?'

My mind tends to keep mulling things over indefinitely regardless of importance. til the whole truth, it'd keep going:

1st-no one would know poison til a few understandably ignorant people per group died.

2nd- i assume some children ignored warnings giving more evidence.

3rd- the sugar-coated "Thanksgiving" story seemed off so i checked more reliable sources. Concluding Pilgrims, aggressive and ignorant likely learned from natives, trying to id poison arrow tech or noticing they paid attention to what killed animals

overall, i think itd have just been another testament to Darwin's theory.

@retoor

hes also 5ft 4 and apparently lives in a motorhome

all his pics look like a serial killer... but i question his ability to kill once, much less evade capture enough to qualify for a series.

@retoor

should i call the number?

@retoor

@jestdotty
im EXTREMELY conservative (not republican\democrat)...

several years ago on a dating site (one that's not advertised to the random public), I caught the interest of this kid (was my age-- mid 20s at the time... i think). I didnt have my views listed in any obvious way.

He was a bleeding heart liberal that almost immediately told me he was on track to graduate college (undergrad i think) and run for some form of state rep.

The idea of anything in my realm of relationships with someone so polar opposite was intriguing, nearly kinky.

So I figured id chat with him...
-Never lived on his own.
-Never held an adult job\paid bills
-His 'i understand minorities and ghettos' proof was a single story about being in a car with 3 suddenly "best friends" 2 were black and he was in the detroit ghetto (nearly suburbia, he named roads)
-"deep understanding" of poverty "almost 6wks my dad and I had to survive off only 50$\wk for food... dads diabetic!"

too adorable for my tastes

@retoor i do poorly with configuring... especially if there's a UI involved. I cant even stand NetworkManager on linux...

I tried to tolerate it... i really tried... ended up sending out a memo-esq message to my people. Basically 'NetworkManager is annoying me... ofc ill be doing the vast majority of the networking (definitely one if my main skillsets and the servers are VERY local to me)... but if anyone has an issue with me killing damn NetworkManager and going back to my network-scripts, say something now or im tearing it a new asshole"

@jestdotty

Im glad you enjoyed the vid(s)in the way i expected you would.

Btw, did u watch the other 3?

Maybe i missed it in your comments... but aside from the ridiculous camera angles, zooms and edits (which imo is even worse cuz its obvious thar there was another human assisting on this yet it somehow made it worse)....

The thing that really got me was how he was supposed to be projecting an aura of a clincal psychology pro... yet within literal seconds he was breaking out in a visible sweat from a casual recording that he chose, in his own office... that's like the worst thing for credibility possible.

I wonder if enough shrooms could make him genuinely entertaining.

Oh, and yes, he's a total creep. I wholeheartedly, fully, agree. Also a misogynist, insecure, fraudulent, dumbass.

He insisted to be addressed as "doctor halpern" too.

Tbh,i kinda wanna find him and see whats up withhim now, a decade later... maybe mess with him some

@retoor autism is real... between the known genetic mutations in dna and the differencesin brain formations... and a ton of data on dendritic spines.... autism is definitely definable. In increasingly more cases.

That said, a friend/colleague of mine (autistic for sure) had a minor debate over the newer classification being ASD... "Spectrum".
His stance:
there are so many varieties and levels of intensity= so spectrum fits well.
Mine:
Spectrum is everything. Like the light spectrum, EVERYTHING is on the light spectrum... that's like saying everyone ussome level of autistic...

His final statement and future reduced usage of Spectrum gave all the info i needed to know he agreed... at least mostly.

I like throwing out that im autistic.
Too many autistics are masking and/or shamed for having autism (leaving aside weird new 'im on the spectrum' fad), like they are lesser/disabled inherently due to "autism". I challenge anyone to view me as inferior due to autism.... which i def have.

Old rant but resonated....

For nearly 2 decades (since i was 14 or 15; im 32 now) ive just written around the C drive = everything system... so it hasnt annoyed me (things that annoy me tend to lead to a hyperfocus period of rabbit-holing until0, most often, ive built a new system that doesnt annoy me).

How?
On any personal windows install i have a highly specific XML answer file that ends linking to a series of batch scripts (bash near the end for my wsl env)

Short ver:
Installs minus cortana and anything i dont explicitly allow.
Turns off auto updates, etc
Kill defender, onedrive, etc
Changes:
reg keys for custom scripts via aliasing
all my env... hotkeys, display prefs, A LOT of new vars, file ext. ,etc., lots of networking/symlinks w/custom keys-- algo only in my head.

Biggest change is the mapping of documents partition (DISKPART==my happy place) and most programs/data to a newly copied ver of my ext hdd par.

Yea, ima dinosaur, but i can use any system as mine in moments.

@12bitfloat
I actually have a rust book in my amazon cart (scheduked to be finalised/purchased later today) but it was the O'Reilly one. I throughly enjoy the O'Reilly pocket guides and when i need a full book to read through, i typically go with O'Reilly or packt.

I assume you believe your suggestion to be better? (Already added to cart) any specifics you like about it?

And thx for the suggestion (even though it wasn't for me)

@Tounai isnt breaking and rebuilding things the logical standard for just about any engineering?
...or just mine?

If you wanna learn/do some blockchain stuff and dont mind signing an NDA, we should chat

I have telegram (awesomeest) and discord (sara.awesomeest)... you/anyone can also reach me via email... same name as here @gmail.com.

I still need to decide if rust will be used in any significant amount for our biggest project, but already stuck with python (a necessary evil in mass data of our variety), probably some conda and possibly rust... even if i prefer giant, custom written, oracle orchestrations... likely beyond a healthy level.

@retoor ever need base level networking... just ask

@retoor @jestdotty

forgot the link

https://youtu.be/t9mt8SKIAQM/...

pretty sure over half of these views are from people ive shown for comic relief.

theres 4 of these horrid vids... even sid clearly outranks his ability on cam and sanity.

this vid, if people actually saw it more often, would totally be reported\removed for being sexist or something.

he ended up blaming my mother getting divorced (i was 12) for my rare, PHYSICAL condition (2 limbs devd after broken bones, L arm @24 L leg @18)

rationale?

'it's like when a woman, let's say, age 54, is stopped at a traffic light waiting for it to turn. then she gets rear-ended, winds up in the hospital with permanent disability of some kind.

It's simple to just say it's a random coincidence right? but... if i tell you that everyone in her close family was deceased or put on permanent disability, all by age 55, it's easier to realise the real cause....'

moms face was hysterical. she just kept staring and blinking. "you're not suggesting that someone who is fully stopped at a light, somehow causes another, totally random, driver, to hit them, because they subconsciously are thinking about their age and relatives.... right???"

him- "of course, the mind..." grabbing his self-published book.

she stood up, looked down at him and loudly demanded my records (incl. valid threats).

@retoor

u gotta watch this guy

@jestdotty you may find it amusing too

i met him in my early 20s cuz health insurance required a psych eval before getting a (~100k usd) spinal cord stimulator surgically implanted.

took the big MMPI test, 4hr block, fone in under 2 (though i did write some minor notes in the margin with crap like being asked, a page later, another (3rd+ time) another iteration of 'are you schizophrenic?' ... like "still not schizophrenic")

only had met him for ~15min or less cuz he wanted to tell me i had to take the test (likely just for billing reasons).

2days after the test, he personally calls to say the results were in and he was officially clearing me for surgery.

2days later surgeons say psych didnt clear me.

i immediately reqd records from him. he withheld insisting i come so he could explain 1st(law meant for extreme cases)

brought my mom(crna) as witness

i asked a few questions (politely af for me) was called argumentative. same with my mother.

@retoor
cant say specifically why... but it doesn't surprise me in the slightest that youve been arrested or are bipolar af.

i think wed be good friends if it wasnt for the distance.

@netikras pretty sure thats summer squash (yellow outside) not zucchini.

its not like i have holes all over, leave food out or something. i just live in the middle of a corn field.

compost bin is too much work... maybe if my health keeps improving. that said, i bet itd attract critters as well

@tosensei
zucchini is boring... so is anything sustainable and worthwhile. If you wont figure out how to make it non-boring, that's ok u not the produce.

seriously, look at carrots or potatoes.... who was the crazy pioneer who thought "this stuff on top isn't really edible, but these are some weird af roots!... maybe i should eat them... hmm both are hard and the lumpy round-ish one tastes like crap then slowly spews out a milky white sticky substance that also tastes bad... I KNOW! let's cook 'em then eat them!'

ofc nowadays most things are easily identifiable and you can run basic tests quickly to see if its poison or a 'gift' from nature.... (yea, i had to)

but think of all the crazy yet bold humans that came before you.... i bet tons of them died eating random stuff. you can at least be creative