Aboutemotionally damaged, physically unconstrained, binded in virtual chains, wanderlust software engineer. update: don't know what rage took over me when i wrote all these stuff. i am pretty decent as of now, but too boring to update these stuff
Skillswhatever fucking thing that brings bread in the table(except butt stuff)
Locationin depths of void
Joined devRant on 6/4/2022
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kinda our spot. the 1st floor owner is a 22 yo kid whose parents got divorced, father left the home and later their mom died. they used to have a lot of money and 2-3 cars, but now since only the kids are left, they are probably debt ridden and sold off all their cars, nd a few other stuff
the spot has been idle for days, nd we were planning to buy a car for months. we bought the car, kept it their for 2 days, in morning i tool it for driving and when i came back , he had parked his friend's car
@happygimp0 same reason as human created wheels
@jassole your post sounded like putin wants to hire some devs for current pre ww3 with Ukraine
come with your real id putin
its like saying every person in the world should wear a headband that says "trying to woo me isn't going to guarantee you an orgasm" and "sure, relationships were important in the 80s and 90s. but today the internet has so much evolved that my hand and wifi are enough for an orgasm"
there are tasks. there are stupid tasks . a man has to do them to answer their existence
@azuredivay retrofit is pretty much the standard for api requests in professional android apps. gson is like java in general : widely used but pretty much a legacy. volley used to be like gson, but now even legacy projects seem to not have volley and instead use retrofit. moshi nd jackson are better options than gson
networking and parsing are 2 concepts which are usually library based in every framework : express,spring ktor and ofcourse the android. i always prefer writing code by my own instead of relying on libs, but for networking and parsing, i straight up add retrofit+moshi in an app without looking back
@tosensei a cars width is 1.65m . the width of test track is 1.8m . you gotta do a reverse in a 's' shaped road of this width and make loops in a road that is in the shape of an audi logo. the sides of the road has sensors and if anh side of car touches the sides of road , then you fail
@retoor which country you are from? tata is an mnc . if not working directlyin your country, some native company of your country might be using tcs as cheap labour 🥲
@Sid2006 duude!!! love your car man... i was this 🤏 close to booking a punch. but ended up with a tiago as parents freaked out looking at a mini suv. also did you got ppf/graphene coating?
and thanks for the support man 🙌
@MammaNeedHummus @mansur85 @Ranchonyx @tosensei @electrineer
I KNOW HOW TO DRIVE. incase i wasn't clear, a std driving school gives 15 days of classes, i not only excelled once, but took it thrice. i know the theory AND practical of driving a car in ideal conditions.
also, if there is a certificate that tells that i can drive a car, i got one: the driving license. i even gave the test on the actual driving test. just that with the bribery i was able to do it on a much simpler !car than a std manual 5 gear car. Indian tests are very strict and reject you on the slightest of grill touching, so i didn't wanted to get rejected. that was the only way to get out the catch 22 : whether to get a car first or get a car driving experience/training first.
what else do you folks suggest? i am a fucking loner with no good relatives, neighbours, friends and collegues who would give their priced possession to me to get some experience. my parents ha e only driven a 2 wheeler due to financials
@hjk101 that's exactly her(ios girl) main problem. they are not only just okay with a pathetic work environment , they are keeping mum about it. and seeingbher not say anything, a lot of other people who joined after her will also not say anything, creating a chain of meekness in the team. our company works like this :
1. the top 50 powerful people are ensured with a comfortable environment by the hr : remote working options, office to home pickup and vice versa, personal cabins, free lunches , free parking etc
2. the top 50 people has some people who are supposed to maintain employee code of conduct, and company culture.
3. as they are blind with so much benefits, they think everyone's getting the same benefits or they are getting these benefits coz others are not getting it.
4. the culture doesn't change and gets worse
@IntrusionCM btw can you describe the tastes that am missing out while drinking sugarad cocktails/mocktails only?
@IntrusionCM i have also taste gin with sprite and some drink called long island ice tea i guess, which my friend described as a mixture of multiple alcohols.
i personally found the added flavours of fruit/icetea more enjoyable than the alcohols, which were leaving a taste of spoilt grapes in my mouth and relaxing my brain a bit.
i felt a whole lot confident in saying anything to anyone for exact 20 mins after drinking 1glass of beer, so that's a plus that i can say
and btw i drink espresso, green tea, bitter gourd juices also sometimes. i do not savour their tastes as much as a regular fruit juice, but they are good for a specific purpose like keeping me awake or health benefits etc.
the boost that sugar gives is nice.
also i eat a lot of spices and chilly foods, so not exactly in the sugar only box
i drank beer for the first time today and I can't understand the craze of alcohol and beers. sugared drinks are much better tasting imho
i liked talking to her. she was 6 years older than me i guess. during rafting there was a moment where we 2 were at one side , all alone and i was looking into her eyes as she was into me. i wanted to kiss her so bad, and i wanna either ask for it or go direct in. but my confidence and values stopped me so bad. i thought that if i even brought it up, it would mean a BT for me as well as her. i was the most harmless, quiet guy who didn't even flirted much. how could i do that. but everytime i close my eyes, that amazing lips come in front of me.
day 3/n the fun and personal misery continued...
the morning starts. we go on another adventures small hike. this time to a chilling river just near to our hotel. it was again fun, i bonded with a lot of guys and girls and everything was amazing. then we did a river rafting and i was again about to experience a moment of confidence opportunitythat i obviously missed. then we did paragliding, went back to busses and headed for home.
day 4/n. i am back home with lots of memories and a total new faith on humanity ❤️
so about that moment of opportunity. there was this girl in trip. somewhat cute, somewhat bold, somewhat high. she was with a friend, but i could feel her vibe to be very cool as she was talking and flirting with almost every guy. she was into tech so we connected on simple talks. she was into joints and weed, so she connected with other guys. nd she was very confident, so she would go hand in hand with anyone of us at any place at random
everyone wants a girl, i too want a girl but i don't initiate that process. i am too late for this shit. i watch porn, mastubate and then sleep. i am at relationship level 0 at 24. first 3-4 heartbreaks of anyone teaches them on how to choose the perfect girl or create an ideal relation. i can't have those coz i don't know how to deal with the parent situation and that's fucking killin me.
(perhaps i should also add that apart from parents , i also don't know how to drive a vehicle, or continue a conversation with witty answers. but i have seen people with these traits too to get a girl)
meanwhile, my roomie has an aura. he a typical player : bro drinks, smokes, make joints and end up with an 87 body count. dude is even making the girls of couples to melt, get high and share puffs thereby making the guys jelous . amazing dude man.. i wonder when my parents will be like his i guess. though i doubt , his satanic "aura" is a common knowledge in his family.
being a single child is tough
even in this trip, we found some random strangers, who started walking with us during trek, one was a girl who had came single with friends, and was interested in knowing about us. i didn't talked much to her, but now as reflect, she was into me i guess! i could have got her number and who knows where this could have led. but i am now so much into my shell i don't even look at girls as potential mates!
this is frustrating mindfuck whose solution is something that i don't know. my personal policy is honesty or a lie so true that it looks like a truth. to curb this stupid loop, i am not even trying to develop the relationship part of my conscious.
let's talk about confidence first. my roomie (awesome guy btw) told me about an experience where he made out with a random girl in club coz he had the confidence to approach her. i was so much in awe as this is something i fantasize. to tell someone what i really wanna say in direct, to do something i wanna do. my life is currently revolving around my parents and therefore everything i do, i fear that implications would end up coming on them and they will feel hurt.
like let's say i like this girl from office. she's single, comfortable with me, matching my vibe and i could probably try to get into a relationship with her. i won't though. my mind will say :"if she didn't like you back, she will complain to company, they will fire you, then your parents will get to know, then they will feel hurt that i liked someone on my own and didn't waited for an arranged marriage" that's probably why i don't drink, like what if mom got to know?
apart from the good place experience, i am also feeling grateful that i have a "people face": whenever i am with someone, i make sure that they don't see me as a danger or try to get provoked even if am talking to their partner( unless they are totally nuts. i am yet to meet a nut like that) i am like water, i can mix in any group and I don't even have to compromise my principles. i have a vibe: i can dance to music without feeling ashamed, i can talk tech, finance, general stuff, I don't smoke/crack/drink (last one which i wanna do occasionally) and I can't sit in the room where people are smoking
sad things are about my lack of confidence and somewhat the restraints that i feel for myself and from my family.
1 funny thing about our leader is that he is a powerhouse of charm and confidence. he speaks in a manner that you start feeling special and forgive his last day blunders. well that's good, coz otherwise he's an excellent team captain. i am also assuming that he's liking me as a good group member. coz he said that we all are very good people and he will remain in touch and make another trip in which will want us to come as same group : no new people. i am glad someone found my nature as civil enough to even say something like this.
day 2/n A TOTAL 360° . I am loving the trip and every moment of it.
today was a day full of gem of adventures. i got to do my first trek and it was an easy but a proper trek. the roads got slippery sometimes, sometimes the roads were just narrowest paths in bushes nd a straight valley of deaths in just the right. but at the end of it was a rewarding 360° point with strong gushing winds and a scary but thrilling view everywhere.
everyone was nice, enjoying , dancing and talking/staying together. in night we played some indoor games, got to know each other and i got a peek in another depth angle of these people.
(OR, THIS WHOLE BONDING THING WAS FAKE, everyone is bitching about each other on their back and about to get into fist fights on 1 single move and am too oblivious to understand. they might also be laughing at me for being over kiddish- non smoker, non alcoholic, no relationship, non hash brownie guy who must starts dancing on songs, but i will go with the former)
and finally nomad vs family travel. this trip has people who go out with one thing in mind : the destination . and nothing else. they are ready for vehicle breakdowns, travelling with unknown people, in unpredictable vehicles and lot of unknowns. they somehow don't get sick or feel safety issue.
i have friends with which i take most trips and we also have unknowns , but person safety and comfort are very important . these are more wild and i am probably gonna fall sick again due to lots of dust and uncomfortable travel and stress.
so overall i am probably done with solo travel/travel at all and need to work on finding somone to love and care about/get cared from
a bunch of people with plans to have sex in waterfalls and threesome orgies probably won't care for a 24 yo guy trying to find solace
this brings me to another point. not being a very witty and extroverty person is also causing me to get secluded. although i am trying my best to indulge in discussions : where they are from, their travel experiences, their life , etc. but somehow the discussionns goes to topics that am not much experienced at : love, sex, relationships, alcohol stories and weed stories.
thus the another realisation : people have so much depth. i can understand about a person's financials and basic vibe by just asking a few techy questions . someone is a gym instructor in local gym ? he is earning less than inr 30k per month. a dj guy with stoner vibe? he is traveling on favors and blackouts
but i was so wrong. in my current org as well as the people i met here, they are normal in their work lide, but aftwr that, they have a travel life, they have love life, sex life, stoner life! damn!
we actually were 2 groups: 1 gojng to tirthan and another going to manali in the same bus. that group also had interesting people, one of them was a literal stoner hippie vibe guy
also, the main route to valley was blocked by landslide, so we are running late by 12 hours. we have to take another local bus , then another minibus to reach the location
so 1st people>place. i always thought that people mattered equally. i am not so sure anymore. i am surrounded by people and i feel super alone the couples are looking out after each others and doing cute stuff. the solo folks are doing ... un-family stuff. (yeah let's call it that. basically alcohol, smoke, weed etc).
I don't mind, but they are bonding over this stuff and i get left out
day 1/3 i am so over about this solo tripping. having many realisations:
1. there is family travel and there is nomad travel
2. there's so much depth to people
3. people > place
4. being an extrovert is a major skill when doijnd extrovery things
5. am about to fall sick again
before going into depth about my thoughts, here's a summary of people:
1. there are 2 couples : 1 is a college going pair another is job life pair (4)
2. there's a 30 something insurance sales lead girl who is a "pro" solo traveller(1)
3. there's me (1)
4. there's another SE solo travelling guy and a salessolo travelling guy in their 20s (2)
5. there are 2 analysts girl travelling as friends together (2)
6. there's trip coordinator , a lawyer and freelance travelling guide
day 0/3 with full day gone in anxiety, i was ice cold while taking the final bath before heading for the bus. but turns out, the main concern of the trip, i.e the people , WERE FINE 🥳🥳!!
they were basically peope of 26-36 years of age I guess, mostly in couples but some travelling solo. my dad went to drop me, and one of the girl(who was with a bf) was wearing a hot outfit . i ignored her in front of my dad, but damn she cute <3
when the introductions happenned and conversation started, those folks turned out to be even finer. most are from good backgrounds (doctors, HRs, tech, etc) amd seem to be very much in travelling . i liked everyone :D
the captain made me sit with a 7-8 yrs older girl who was also travelling solo. i got to know her and she turns out to be a team lead in a reknowed company. maybe i can get some referrals lol
just a minor issue : the seats of the bus are super uncomfortable and i wonder how i will be able to sleep in them
isn't every flower a vag/pp and every fruit/seed a baby? the way plants make kids was the first bizzare definition of sex for me : like if some girl sits on my sperm naked, she will get pregnant. the mid/high school were the only days where i would keep my home toilet sparkly clean.
as i recall, the lack of companionship has often pushed me to take risks and do solo trips like this. technically i have never been on a solo trip and this is also not a "solo" trip per se.
in 2019, i went to chennai alone for 2 days for a conference it was me travelling via air for the first time. my only contact was 3 strangers from that city, who agreed to give me a a free tocket to conference if i agree to be a volunteer. my main expenses were hotel room and flight tickets , and it was a shit scary bit awesome experience.
next i travelled 2 times to mumbai for workation : we were to work from head office and company booked hotels/travel . again an adventure to go at a remote location with nothing but office mates. went awesome as always.
and now its this.
i even recall a school camp where we stayed in school for 5 days. boys slept in common dorms while girls slept in theirs. again , it was scary but awesome.
let's hope this adventure goes into the good memory bucket