@ItsNotMyFault
you have a problem
you decide to use threads
two you problems have now

@erikdreyer11
you have a problem
you decide to use regexp
you have 2 problems

From the movie "Amadeus"

EMPEROR: Well, Herr Mozart! A good effort. Decidedly that. An excellent effort! You've shown us something quite new today. 

[Mozart bows frantically: he is over-excited.] 

MOZART: It is new, it is, isn't it, Sire? 

EMPEROR: Yes, indeed. 

MOZART: So then you like it? You really like it, Your Majesty? 

EMPEROR: Of course I do. It's very good. Of course now and then - just now and then - it gets a touch elaborate. 

MOZART: What do you mean, Sire? 

EMPEROR: Well, I mean occasionally it seems to have, how shall one say? [he stops in difficulty; turning to Orsini-Rosenberg] How shall one say, Director? 

ORSINI-ROSENBERG: Too many notes, Your Majesty? 

EMPEROR: Exactly. Very well put. Too many notes. 

MOZART: I don't understand. There are just as many notes, Majesty, as are required. Neither more nor less. 

See image

@CoffeeAndHate no. plus I don't want to use my phone with wet/dirty hands when I'm cooking.

So... when are you getting a real computer?

I spent 1 hour on code similar to this:

this.a = 10;

...(a not changing)

if(this.a > 12);
{
doSomething();
}

it always executed doSomething()... until I figured it out and facepalmed myself!

@linuxer4fun

Why do you get a tank when you need a car?

@haabe

"If this is your 100% why are you working only 90% all the other time!"

Why did you neglect your family over a job?

@altermind but my wheel is better than anyone elses wheel!!!

https://youtu.be/ajEOZ4tBqjQ

@kkalem

https://amazon.com/What-Men-Know-Ab...

the code should show how it's done. The comments should show why!

It's better than: "who the fuck wrote this shit?!?!.... ohhh it was me!"

RML, Mathematica and OpenModelica!

My left hand does this when I write on a paper...

@Jumpshot44

of course!

always start with: "begin tran"

"commit tran" after you are satisfied.

0 Microsoft programmers because Microsoft sets "Dark"(TM) as new standard!

@mattwebdev

yeah, whats wrong with brainfuck!

that's me! both of them!

@Xmiq

that's my idea for a superpower: quick-save and quick-load IRL!@

my left hand did it on a paper test after i used my eraser on half the page!

https://youtu.be/QDAeJ7eLGGg

@omid-student
you said open it, not run it...;)

meh, just unzip it!

++++++++[>++++[>++>+++>+++>+<<<<-]>+>+>->>+[<]<-]>>.>---.+++++++..+++.>>.<-.<.+++.------.--------.>>+.>++.