AboutPart time evil corporation hater & armed infidel trying to blow off some steam.
SkillsReal men use machine language.
Joined devRant on 3/15/2020
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I just want to say FUCK AWS IoT. Honestly. Why the fuck would I spend hours configuring and building all that shit. Designing a gang programmer for my devices and setting up the toolchain would cost more than 6000 of the devices themselves not to mention it would take ages to set up a single device.3
So I have this side gig where I do some part-time consulting for some clients and some of them use Paypal to send me amounts between $500 and $10k. It's no fortune but still sums up to about $80-100k each year.
Now Paypal advertise "lower rates" for my volume yet always get charged 5% "cross-border" fees like it's this huge effort moving the bits outside of whatever country the client is from?
Then here's the nice part: I have EUR, GBP, USD and AUD bank accounts, all added under Paypal, as well as EUR, USD and GBP cards. Whatever currency I try to pull money with, it always changes to another, eg:
I try to pull USD from my USD Paypal balance to an USD card, it converts to EUR.
I try to pull EUR from my EUR Paypal balance to my EUR account, it converts to USD.
I try to pull GBP from my GBP Paypal balance to my GBP bank account, it converts to EUR.
There is absolutely no way to choose what currency to use. Sometimes it will first attempt to convert to a currency then if you switch your source balance to that currency, it just tries to convert to another.
And Paypal's exchange rates are absolutely disgusting, basically you pay between 2.5% up to 7% depending on currency.
So bottom line is I work my ass off and Paypal take a huge 10-12% chunk of my cash basically for sitting on their asses and doing nothing. Because make no mistake, when you try to contact customer support there is no phone number to call, no email address, just a bunch of text ("help center"), a community forum that gives no fucks whatsoever about users, and a "support chat" that's basically accepting your messages only between 10AM and 4PM but you get replies 2-3 days later usually from some indian or pakistani guy who has no clue what's going on and just gives you a canned reply based on random keywords in your message.
Now given all the above I just wanna say, from the bottom of my heart, FUCK YOU PAYPAL FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKING MONEYGRABBING THIEVES AND ASSHOLES, FUCK ALL OF YOU BACK TO THE STONE AGE, SUCK MY FUCKING COCK AND GO DIE IN A FUCKING FLAME.8
For their retarded shipping delays and cancellation/refund policies worthy of mid-20th century China for fucks sake
4 months wasted because of these fuckers and cherry on top still no refund.2
I always thought I don't get "triggered" by random shit like most snowflakes I know.
But when I see some fuckwit whining about some "codes" not working (copy pasted an install.sh in their bash_profile) I just kinda sorta wish it was legal to hang people from the neck with dental floss and skull fuck them until they shit all the motherfucking curry they ate during their pathetic excuse of a life.
2020. Such awesome features to have in a piece of software! Here, take all of my money. And my wife and dog and left kidney.
"Write Things Down
You can write text.
That text stays there.
You can read it later.
You can make text purple."5
Client got a cease and desist letter for trademark infringement for using the Moneygram name (not even the logo) on their website in the "accepted payment methods" page.6
How to fuck up 45+ minutes of your life:
1) make sure you have a $4500 mac
2) download an image
3) realize its a webp
4) google "how to...."
5) brew install <whatever>
6) enjoy 45 minutes of your mac installing all sorts of fucking shit and recompiling the whole fucking planet with CPU at 100% and all apps lagging
I just wanted to convert a fucking image from webp to png or jpeg or even bmp. Without uploading it on some shit site because it's a scan of some confidential stuff.18
These fucking movie sites. Why are they loaded with popups?
Every fucking time I try watching a movie online I get like 917349 popups. Search something, popup. Click open, popup. Click play, popup. Click maximize, popup. Click pause, popup. Click resume, popup.
Those guys are more desperate than a village of malnourished somalis chasing a 350lbs american journalist.18
!rant but has someone played with cockroachDB?
Only curious 'cause I'm kinda sorta tempted to fall for their bullshit for a bit and actually try it out.
Plus their name starts with cock so they get bonus points.6
Why is this app crashing every few seconds? Its 2020 and I didn’t see a made in india notice anywhere?14
Sometimes your greatest fears can become your greatest allies.
Time for a treat: a company I've applied to 16 years ago just went out of business due to bad management. Wasn't going to work there anyway because they were utter idiots but they turned me down because I took a piss at the CTO for being a wanker in some respects and also "your code formatting isn't what we expect from a senior programmer". Just placed a backorder for their domain name, will post some stupid goat sex shit there once it goes through. Cheers suckers!7
Top 10 figure company in a rich vertical in the EU market built their shit on top of a small startup's stack some 15 years ago and they still contract shit to said company whom over time have lost some of their domain names, which we promptly snatched off auctions or wherever just like we do with every single domain name mildly related to our vertical.
Now at this top notch awesome company there be some stupid bitches who apparently have no clue how to update their fucking contact list and keep sending shit to outdated email addresses.
So me gets logins to user databases, to PM apps, invoices, accounts, basically loads of crap which could rake in some 7 figures if I lacked enough spine to actually do something with said info.
So naturally I always send an e-mail back informing them of the mistake yet never got a thank you back for saving their buttholes from a scandal, public shaming and some fucking huge GDPR fines not to mention some 7-8 figures in lost business over such a information leak if it went public. I got no missed calls, no emails, I even checked my spam folder, nothing but the ol' indian spam there.
I don't understand why my cock isn't sucked 3 times a day over this shit. Like, they should have an entire HR department working 24/7 at hiring hot stupid bitches just to suck on my zucchini (initially typed eggplant but don't wanna get turned into hamburgers over this race nonsense spamming the news lately).
You're welcome ass boogers!1
I am so fucking sick of how those fuckers choose all sorts of shit gems to publish in the rails tree.
Like this fucking action_text and trix.
Why the FUCK would someone publish a fucking editor that breaks ALL HTML you add to a record? including <table> tags? data- attributes? href and src attributes that use some template tags eg liquid or any other fucking template system?
I just wanna catch you fuckers and line you up and fucking whip your ass all day long. I want to boil you slow in salt water and skull fuck you until you never touch a computer again.
Fucking basecamp and 37 signals. If you can't publish a decent gem at least keep your fucking shit for yourselves. You pride and tout yourself as top notch company yet you can't do a fucking HTML editor the right way - WP did it when you were itching your daddys' crotch you wimping dickheads.
I am so fucking done with Rails over this shit. I'll be fucked with a barge pole wrapped in barbed wire if any new features get written on this stack of shit from now on. I will fucking throw out the 12th floor window any of our moron devs who writes anything but productive maintenance code on Rails as of now.
Why the fuck is SE/SO buried so deep in politics? it's a fucking website with some fucking posts and some fucking people
Why can't all these fuckers just go run for congress so they can pull dick on taxpayers' money rather than cram up that fucking website with their bullshit
Tons of tons of tens of hundred pages of bullshit and debate and comments and what the fuck not over a fucking WEBSITE. I haven't seen this much bullshit flying around when fucktards voted trump for president.
I'm DNS shitholing all this fucking thing, right now it costs me more time to dig through piles of human garbage than it saves me on occasion
PS I'm not even sure I wouldn't just delete that whole fucking thing if I could. And have those fuckers dig holes in the ground to make themselves more useful. All this shit does is to make it easier for retards to jump on the software development bandwagon ruining the market for everyone else.5
I'm not going to say your shit sucks but mikroe why the fuck would you build a customer-facing capacitive display without some half an inch protective glass? just so that any fucking compe... - moron with a hammer or a plain fucking rock can break said $300 component and render the entire appliance useless?
I always hate seeing such elementary flaws in otherwise respectable products.2
So a couple months ago we gave up on cloud hosting and switched to bare metal. Aside from the hardware we have in colo at a local datacenter we also kept 4 racks off prod at the office. Then everyone stopped going to the office due to this covid circus, except for a couple “sysadmins” who would take shifts monitoring stuff, making sure everything works fine so all those people working remote could do their jobs properly.
Now a couple weeks ago some weird shit started happening, like some service would stop for like a minute at 4am and I’d get a quick alert, and other random crap, no logs or anything, really strange.
Turns out one of the guys (made in india, rather fresh import) was stealing hardware. He would stop a machine, pull out some ram sticks or a cpu or a couple ssds the put it back on in a minute.
So far about $8k worth of shit is missing and that’s what I could figure out remotely.
Tomorrow between their shifts I have to go there and run a check on all the hardware and figure out what to do next.
The IP he might have taken with the drives is worth somewhere in the mid 8 figures.
The guy has paperwork so he can’t exactly get kneecapped or fall from the 12th floor by accident.
Fuck this raspberry piece of shit. You can’t really use it for any serious job. Its just a tinkering gizmo designed to waste your time.
I’ve tried using them for several things over the years. First was as a NAS, it was either freezing, losing the wifi/ethernet connection or causing data loss. That’s right, when all it had to do was to take the fucking file someone copies over the network and write it on an external drive.
Can’t use it to view movies either - sooner or later it becomes slow to the point where its unwatchable. Even with a 1gig video, so no HD or anything like that.
Then i tried setting it up to control the ventilation in a house. It would work for a couple days or so then hang. What the fuck, am i sposed to have another raspi to reset the first one? Then what, the 3rd for the 2nd? A centipede of raspberries? And ofc controlling the relays was always hit and miss, sometimes you had to spam the button like 20 times to be sure it flips a pin high or low.
Then i tried to set it up to control a bunch of mining rigs. Once again random fails, except this time a couple video cards died to heat. No worries, RMA, what else we can do?
Then, random small scripts to read various sensors and post a json. Put a radiator and fan on it, battery, what the fuck not. But no. Random freezing, random disconnects.
Naturally all this shit spiced up with countless hours spent on debugging: is it me? Did i trip on the wire? Was it the vibration? Or perhaps the temperature or humidity? Was pluto taking a piss because its no longer a planet? What are the logs saying? Maybe it will work if we recompile? Or maybe use another language? And what the fuck not!
Who and why the fuck came up with this shit? Is it all just another conspiracy to waste my time? Dear satan you don’t need boards and kernels and java and linux and the fuckton of idiots to waste my time, just get me a couple lesbians and some booze and you’ll never hear from me until i end up in your fucking cauldron.54
FUCK FUCK FUCK
More chinese APIs to integrate :(
More shitty code samples
More incomplete, disorganized specs
More idiotic, redundant and pointless "security measures"
More retarded API names
More cryptic parameters
Best advice I can give anyone: when you see a chinese API RUN LIKE HELL. Get sick. Get pregnant. Go on vacation. Have someone tell them you died.
Fucking iphone. Fucking asshole moneygrabbing apple whores.
And when i say whores I mean the lowliest fucking infectious parasite whores. Because make no mistake, prostitutes are respectable professionals - you do your thing, pay and leave happy. But a whore takes your money, wastes your time, fucks you up in the head and leaves you high and dry. Just like fucking apple does.
12gigs used up by safari for “other files” that you can’t delete. 15gigs and two shits the os. 5 gigs mail.
Why the fuck you advertise 64 gigs when over half of it are unusable?
Why should I have to waste my time to reset to factory every month and redo everything on a motherfucking $1500 “smart”phone?
How many tens of thousand dollars should i fucking spend on a phone that WORKS ALL THE WAY?16
For the last 6 weeks 12 people have been waiting for this developer on the customer side to sign a form, fill in another web-based form and copy-paste some API keys into our control panel so the 3rd party product we’ve integrated and tested in 3 days would work on their application.
Despite almost daily emails asking them to do that, they just have not. No reason, no explanation, no excuse, no reply, not even a “fuck you”
And it’s not the first guy to do this, basically every developer working for our customers in latam does pretty much the same.
What the fuck is wrong with developers in latam?1
Does anyone know a good HTML5 game engine or framework, something where you can upload your models from Solidworks or Maya and animate them using JS to get a web-based game done?
I've been looking at Pixi,Phaser and a bunch of other frameworks, they're all touting rapid development and ease of use yet you have to write a shit ton of cryptic code to get the simplest thing done...8
I like to make small donations to wikipedia and add “delete deletionists!” in the notes box.
I am ashamed of myself.
Because despite the fact that I have nothing but hate and contempt towards apple and their money-grabbing paradigm and overpriced hardware and extortionist practices they apply to pretty much everyone, I found myself earlier today thinking:
"this Swift shit wasn't so bad this time around"
Somehow my poor excuse of a brain feels dirtier after this particular thought than it felt 12 years ago when I was running the dirtiest scato animal fetish porn sites of that era.
I think I need a vacation, possibly some months away on an island naked with a couple 22 year old twins licking ice cream off my pole all day long.5
Fuck swift and xcode and IOS development
Because every fucking guide and tutorial and code example out there is already outdated including some from last month
Because every relevant pod out there change their specs more often than I change my socks
Because you have to do every fucking thing on your own
Because you have to catch 812375 things that can possibly go wrong
Because making a simple JSON request takes 5 screens of code
Because of the five fucking million typing errors you get every damn minute fuck you swift
Because of the 150 page API docs for the simplest fucking things
Because of all the code lost to xcode crashes every couple minutes
Because Apple promised a language and a framework that allows for rapid hassle-free development yet this is exactly the opposite
Because all the money we're paying for all this shit when it's not worth even 1% of it4
I love the idea behind arangodb and how fast and stable it is.
But why the fuck did they not make every possible effort to stick with SQL and build a friendlier microservice framework to make all that shit easier to use? (rhetorical question girls, no need to explain, I get it, they just rushed to butter some bread sooner rather than later)
they seem to have lost so much market share because of these two details...
Fucking amateur developers deploying what should be complex APIs to a financial business environment with incomplete and inaccurate documentation, with their code copy pasted from chat boxes, with "tests" that do not output any relevant logging except pass/fail and take 2 days to run, with deficient but multi-factor redundant security that works occasionally based on air pressure, publishing code that causes their systems to break and lose data then blame everything on integrators for simply calling their own fucking cheap excuse of an API based on their own shitty documentation, and API calls that respond in 10+ seconds for simplest fucking queries.
FUCK YOU sideways go write children's books morons fuck off and die I will fucking teabag your women and turn your dogs into tacos you watching... hopefully next year when i'm done wasting my time on your retarded shit8
I thought this cloud shit was supposed to be more affordable and easier to manage and so on so forth.
After all the drama in the last months we just finished moving all our shit to bare metal. The bill is half of what it used to be but now we have some 95%+ capacity in reserve and waaaay less time wasted on putting all services together. It feels just like getting in a 911 after 7 years spent in a fucking suzuki.
So fuck AWS, fuck Google cloud and even though I wouldn't touch them with a barge pole, fuck IBM and Azure too!6