That awkward moment when u look svn history to find out which idiot wrote this stupid code and u leant it was you yourself. You feel so glad you didn't go all gun blazing criticising the guy to your colleagues before ur investigation.
Lesson learnt for future ha ha ha

Awkward moment when recruiter knows abt work you have done then what you remember. Make it looks like you are cheating and then when u work out u feel like idiot.

It's frustrating when network guy blame tomcat is not running and hence something wrong with application without fucking checking proxy settings. Fucking waste my 2 hours and in the end he looks like idiot. Good Morning.

You know you are done for the day when you try LS in Windows command prompt and think what the hell is wrong with Linux?? Looks like proper twat

Sometimes it's fun watching new developer who don't want ur help end up writing random number generator code who he thinks works great and u break it in seconds. So much for innovation.

Looking and fixing performance of any application is like opening of Chakras via yoga and maditation. One at a time till universe start flowing in harmony ie. Application start doing what it suppose to do at the rate that is acceptable to client.
Performance fixes is more like making application work at the rate which it's not written/design to do.

I'm thinking of getting this made. Especially with the clients we got it would save me hell lot of time.

American clients spent good 4-5 hrs in night to deploy n start application. Late at night in US n UK morning then called us for help after 5 minutes looking at logs I said: "it would help if you have DB servers on as logs were saying clearly". What a knobs !!!

After work party till 2 am I'm trying to work. I bet zombies would do better job then what I'm doing. Sorry No offence zombies !!

Client ask me today: what's the function of this function??
After along he realise how fool he sounded even though it was valid sentence.

There r ppl who put lamest joke on Monday morning on slack. Feel like punching them.

Nothing is more relaxing then finding some really bad code and clean it up in your free time with music in background. Love this kind of Friday's.

It's ironing that being developer I have to explain client that bug he has reported is actually functionality. How can someone forget what they ask for??

We are in middle of sprints where neither tech lead or PM knows what we r trying to achieve. When does as team member I suppose to start panicking???

Being support Dev is like cleaning up someone else's shit.

Am I the only one who start watching Game of Throne purely because all my mates and work colleagues watches it and talk abt it on Tuesday??

Is it just me or there r others like me too?

I asked out IT guy to send me base URL for LDAP server, he send me quick reply with base URL of my application. Not sure he was being sarcastic or absolute dumb-arse

On One of those frustrating day when u try to fix broken live application and you find where's the issue but above that code some one wrote comment saying FIX THIS. What are the chances.