Sooooooo since a few days im feeling more and more depressed.

There are some things that might cause it :
- school
-My last frienhship broke (not like i care about sociality. lol)
-my parents being so strict.

What can i do except for going through this, eyes shut?
I alceady had a depression i dont wanna get back there :/

Focus on what you want in your life and move piece by piece towards that.
Don’t focus on what you don’t have, can’t do or think is missing. Your thoughts deceive you...
Change your environment, remove things that aren’t working for you or supporting who you are and your goals. Then you make space for the good things that are in alignment with you to enter your life.
Things will get better, I promise.

I had depression a long time, but I also got out of it a few times and now I'm one of the happiest humans alive. Only one thing helped me; humans, other humans, friends, a girlfriend, yes that sounds like "aahh just find friends and you are happy" but it's not only best friends or a girlfriend. I joined a organization and found so many kind people, I also had so few freetime that "I didn't really have" time to be depressed. Also the change I my life, doing something else except sitting infront of my pc helped me alot!

@simonwak i will not stop sitting infront of my pc :P

mhh. thanks for your tips! I might actuolly consider doing sth else

@linuxer4fun Or do it like me, travelled with my laptop by train in europe for month! Was one of the best things I did. And I also had enough time for my notebook! :p

@simonwak lol

Have you been treated for depression? Maybe you're just stressed?

A real depression is an absolute torture and should be treated as soon as possible. This is a disease and not necessarily related to stress. There are so many people who have a completely normal life, no stress, no financial worries, no problems and still have a depression.

@tracktraps Ye i was in a psych hospital for two months. it was horrible. the worst thing ive donu so far ://

@linuxer4fun Oh I saw you are not old enough and hey fellow german! But for the future if you want to do it sometime, look at the Interrailtickets! :p

@simonwak I did it too, but with a RV. On the road for 5 years now. I sold everything: my apartment, furniture and all that shit and stuff you never need anyway. Now I wake up every morning at the beach (currently in Tavira) and can live anywhere I want.

Best decision I ever made.

@simonwak im planning on going to norway. but i dont have money :((

@tracktraps wow! that must be amazing. have a rant about that?

@linuxer4fun I'm really sorry for you. Stay strong.

@tracktraps thank you dude :)

@linuxer4fun Had the same problems, so I did two EU sponsored internships :p #erasmus+

@simonwak im litterally too young to do internships / jobs

@linuxer4fun Yes. I have a rant about it. Got to be here somewhere, but I don't have a link right now :)

@linuxer4fun Norway? Beautiful, but freezing cold :(

@NoMad Mhh. well its kinda hard to say. jk i already was depressed when i was 10.

@tracktraps no probelm :) 1

@linuxer4fun I'm not a fan of drugs, but when I'm depressed, Citalopram (Celexa, 40mg in the morning) and Mirtazapine (Remeron, 45mg in the evening) always helped me a lot. It takes 1-2 weeks and the depression is usually over.

Have hardly any side effects and with Mirtazapine you'll sleep like a stone.

Go to the doctor and get treated.

@tracktraps cant realry go to doctor. my 'arents will freak out, make a huge deal off it nd i my lr be in the psych hospital for months, again

@linuxer4fun Say you have a headache and want to see a doctor - then talk to him about your depression. Without your parents :)

@tracktraps Mhh. well doctors dromotize stuff too. lol

@NoMad Lol i didnt have a gf, it was a guy, my only friend.

Mhh. thanks for your help. but i kinda cant lower my expectotuons. idk hat my ecxpectations are.
well. i guesn i will just go on like that :/

@NoMad lol same xD

well i have one attempt behind me. lets hope its my only one :/

@NoMad i said friendship :P lol.

Well i dont really care about the broken friendship. which i care most is how i was treated in general by people in school :/.

@NoMad Haha thanks :)

@LogicBomb sounds textbook the and well you can't have it all the time. There are things I want that for me are very hard to get... Because it also depends on how others see me...

@linuxer4fun I don't know if I ever had depression...

I say I'm depressed go see a psych she says: your not depressed

I insist... She says: well if you have suicidal thoughts I can give you happy pills

Me: hmm.... Not really....

So yes I feel down a lot of times but apparently the only way you get diagnosed with depression around here is if you're suicidal....

@NoMad I have a lot of docs. Basically the solution is mindfulness, gratitude, think happy thoughts

And sunlight... It does feel kinda nice in winter but it costs $$$ to run.... Used a lot of power....

@NoMad Unfortunately, most docs are completely incompetent and in my opinion only interested in money. It's just my experience. I also had to search a long time to find a doctor who finally could and wanted to help me.

I had to pay him privately (not cheap, but he accepted and suggested payment by installments), but I got the help I needed. I'm finally doing great now.

@billgates A daily walk (it doesn't necessarily have to be in the sunshine) is worth more than any artificial light ... and is free of charge.

@tracktraps even when it's rainy, cloudy cold and windy? Basically downright depressing?

It's winter around here... If it weren't for an event in NYC or because I need to goto work... Really can't get myself out...

It's a sunlamp.. Supposed to keep those happy hormones working

I have border personality disorder and when I start to go down, I sit in front of a computer and learn, code, fix or deploy whatever comes to my mind. Because outside may be raining shit, but here on my keyboard I have (some) control. And that's enough until things calm down a little.

@billgates Yes, even when it's rainy, cloudy cold and windy. The sunlight is still there, even if there are clouds in front of it. UV light also gets through clouds. No lamp can match that. Besides, you've got some fresh air... except for NYC, Boston, Orlando, .... :)

I'm in depression too, stay strong young sir! Just dont overthink. I really don't know what to say. It's regret for me mostly..

Let your doctor check your vitamin D. A lack of it often causes these winter depressions.

I try to keep a note of all the things that I am thankful for. So when I don't feel well, I look at them and feel grateful and not focus on whatever is making me negative.

I do feel the same, and can empathize with you. I have gone through the exact same sequence. Just know that you are not alone, even if you feel you are alone, you are not.

We are there with you and support you. If you wanna talk, we can talk. ☺️

"My last frienhship broke (not like i care about sociality. lol)"
Not wanna be rude, but ... okaaaaaayy :D

@tinaa yea, hence sunlamp...I would take the supplements too but keep forgetting....

@gitpull I hate sociality... I hate being with other :/

@see-sharp Thanks :) Devrant and some people on telegram are litterally the only ones making my life enjoyable... oh and coding relaxes me wel xD

@linuxer4fun Ik that feel, mate

@billgates Therein lies some of your issue. How others see you is irrelevant.. it’s how you see yourself that matters.
When we start to question our worth, who we are, comparing and judging ourselves in relation to others is when we give away our power.
I don’t speak from textbook. I speak from having lived in some very very dark holes for various periods of my life I’ve also shined bright too so I’ve seen life from both sides.

@tracktraps yep! That’s why they’re called GP’s.
Because they’re still generally practicing! 😆

@LogicBomb it does when you are trying to find a job but it seems the interviewers/recruiters don't even give me a chance when they find out I'm deaf.

@billgates cunts.
I’d just ask them directly. What is it about my deafness you think would hinder my ability to do an amazing job for you?
Put their ass on the spot so they have to answer you. Nothing to lose by the sound of it.

@LogicBomb recruiters: any email that can't get part my robo filter or asks that I call them: ignored unless I'm really bored in which case I will call using a relay service to melee them uncomfortable.

Usually the response is "please tell him I will follow up by email"

But no email comes... So yes I just call to screw with them.

Interviews: can't really tell because HR just says we decided your not a good fit... Even though ur amt of experience prolly exceeds everyone else's

Just have to find one that realizes but yes lots of cunts that waste my time