ROS is on top of that list. It's a disappointment that has turned into an industry standard.

If ROS can make it, you can make it too!

When I worked in a non-dev env, the best part was that I was done with work after working hours. I didn't stress out or even think about the issues. It was something for tomorrow or someone else to worry about. And so, I was not mentally exhausted and stressed out all the damn time.

So, I shall try to bring that mentality to my dev life too. With this new position I'm starting soon, I really want to do well for at least a few years. And that would need me to chill the fuck out. Particularly after work.

Trying to write my intro for my page on uni's website.
It's making me frustrated cuz I'm starting to think of all the things I haven't done but I should've. 🙄 Compared to the rest, I've been very slow. 🐢

☹️🐢 is me now.

Put in my residence permit application and suddenly my todo list got very short. 👀

Wish me luck! 🤞

Ever noticed whenever you actually need a friend, none of them can be reached?

Technology has failed me. Where is my robot companion?

It was making me anxious that I was the only one doing a PhD among my close friends. I actually was feeling like I'm not good enough for it, because those around me didn't feel like they're good enough for it. (ridiculous, I know. But it is what it is)

And then, one of my bestfriends went for her PhD. Her situation is complicated, so she actually didn't have much of a choice. But now I am motivated and feel like I might actually be able to do it. 🙂 Mainly because now I can at least ask someone close when I have stupid questions. 😁

It is starting to feel like less of an strange idea, and more like proper work. 😁

Doing so much paperwork I basically have no time for the actual work. 😐

From Nathan W. Pyle's insta page.

I went to see the robots in the lab but the lab was closed 😩😞😢

I think, right now, it's bitting more than I can chew.

I get my hands on way too many projects because they're easy and then problems pile and I end up being behind schedule on everything.

That, and maybe sometimes subconsciously thinking I'm invincible. It's a direct psych response to those telling me I can't do shit, and then I do shit out of pure stubbornness, and then I have super-confidence for a short while. (Even if I don't show it)
I just don't think it's healthy.

DXB (airport)'s WiFi doesn't let you call through whatsapp or telegram or even discord. It also does not let you send a whatsapp voice message, which has me very puzzled.

And all I wanted to do was to call my mom. ☹️
(I might also be running a slight fever, which makes me very emotional and sensitive)

I love it when people say "I wanna play around with tensorflow".

I can't motivate myself to read or understand all these papers and tutorials... I wish I had a backup brain somewhere. 🙄

Expat issues of the month is that the HR is taking its sweet time, while I'm trying to find a house and probably need to provide employment certificate or some shit.
So basically, I'll arrive in a month and either be homeless, crash on a friend's at least an hour and half away by PT, or pay for hotel or airbnb.

... Heaven and hell, could you please work together on solving this, particularly the house issue? Because neither am I made of money nor my nerves can currently take this, specially with this upcoming surgery thing. 🙏

Honestly, I think this one is yet to come for me.

I've had a few bad experiences, but the worst ones are the ones where I couldn't find the time or brain to get some work done properly and therefore did bare minimum, so I basically was driven to shame because my teammates did almost everything.

Second to that, are times where I had to go through drama because teammates were absolutely incompetent or power hungry or inflexible.

Otherwise, it's "live and let die".

Note: I use "teammate" in general sense, equaling "coworker", "colleague", "the guy who's supposed to give me details or access" and "those in on the project" in this rant.

So, seems like I'll be continuing my research career, via a PhD in AI. 👀🤞

If things get confirmed, I may have news.
Otherwise, I have disappointments.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live" - J.F. Woods

Remember the super duper company I applied for? (Last rant)

Well, I did their coding challenge. And after many years I had to do a metric crapton of C++. It's not a fun language. It's frustrating how human-unfriendly it is, and maybe one reason why I low-key like it.

Anyways, here's hoping that I didn't fuck up too much.

On a side note, I realized tensorflow actually has a cpp api. I think I'm gonna work with that in my next mental breakdown. 🧐

I just applied for one of those big big biiiiiiiig companies in robotics...

Something in my mind is telling me that I am actually losing it. Like, my mind. I must be losing my mind. 🤔

Oh well! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I want to learn something new and programing related. But got no idea what. Make suggestions, if you wish.

After all the rants I've written on this topic, no, no, fuck no. I ain't answering jackshit. The trauma is very real. I'm trying to not have a panic attack just remembering few of the times I've lost work, personal data, side projects, accounts, you name it.
Oh dear God it's hard to breathe...

Why do I prefer robots to humans, you ask? I'd love to tell you.

If I tell a robot that I want my room vacuumed, they wouldn't purposefully mess up the room instead. It understands a small set of instructions.

But if I tell a human, a friend for example, that I have abandonment issues, you best believe they will go ahead and abandon me exactly when I need them.

Or if I tell a human, a potential fwb for example, that I can't take emotional stuff, you best believe that they will do a 180 and become the most romantic person ever.

And that, is why I prefer robots. Now, one of you go ahead and make an intelligent robot that I could date. I'm literally done with people.

Now realizing the whole "Fuck this shit, I'm gonna become a barista" was literally a midlife crisis.

Now, how do I find my way back to a brand new PhD application? Or a research job... Or a dev job... Honestly, I'd take whatever.

Side note, after weeks of being on my feet and working 6-8 hours a day, I have lost exactly zero kilos. This was a very bad idea. 🤦

So, I'm not the smartest, but at least now I have had two careers. How many of you can say that you've had two different careers in your life, eh?

I don't. I let it sink in and destroy me from inside. 😐

Just about every proper keras model I've ever made.

'Nuf said.

Is there something like tinder that doesn't require a photo?
I just don't like my own face right now. That's all.

Am annoyed. Not mad, just very disappointed. So the guy I emailed yesterday about doctoral research positions hasn't responded yet, and this is causing me somewhat of rejection anxiety, specially considering recent events.
Honest to god, if this one fails I'm abandoning academia and research and making cool stuff. Fuck society. I could make so many useful life saving stuff, but they didn't let me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Also, I'm enjoying my current minimum wage occupation. It's stressless and repetitive and I pay fuckall for tax. I didn't want to go antisocial, but I was driven here. So there. This is why y'all can't have nice things. 🎤💧

As 22.2.22 is coming to an end, I've sent an email to request for another PhD position.

That's all.
Wish me luck.

Not biting off the head of my incompetent manager.
Genuinely took a lot of effort. Partially the reason why I have depression. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯