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SKINCARE & DEODORANTS
- Every single skincare product is a scam. Here is the list of products that aren’t: pure aluminum salt antiperspirants (Driclor), baby powder, adapalene, salicylic acid cleansers, panthenol. Tretinoin used to be on the list, but now it’s completely surpassed by adapalene, which works a lot better with a lot less side effects. That’s it. Everything else is BS. Especially don’t do stupid shit like using Vaseline or lanolin on your skin.
- Baby powder works like magic. I get it all over myself every time I'm out of the shower.
- Apply Driclor (not affiliated) following their instruction manual to the letter. After several weeks, your skin will just stop producing sweat. There is evidence that links aluminum salts to breast cancer. However, for some people, sweating is a larger immediate issue, as it can accelerate fungal or bacterial infections. If you think aluminum salts do you more harm than good, don’t use antiperspirants at all. -
- I don’t recommend anything other than Driclor and its immediate alternatives (with just alcohol, aluminum salts and water). Lesser antiperspirant won’t block sweat as effectively while exposing you to just the same breast cancer risk. They’re the worst of both worlds. For me, it’s either aluminum-free deodorant or Driclor, or nothing at all.
- Every morning and every evening, wash your face with salicylic acid cleanser. It’s very efficient at removing blackheads. Blackheads are exposed ends of sebum-clogged pore that got oxidized to outside air. In a way, they’re like rust. Salicylic acid will clean oxides off. It will momentarily give you completely clean skin, but it will get oxidized again by 1pm. -
- Consult with your physician about adapalene. If they think you’ll benefit from it, start using 0.1% adapalene. Apply it after cleansing in the evening on completely dry skin. Leave it to dry on its own. Within one week of daily application, your skin will get terribly irritated and will peel off. Don’t stop using adapalene. After a while, your skin will get used to it and will be reborn extraordinarily clean. If you quit using adapalene, after a while, you’ll have to get through this unpleasant stage again if you want to do adapalene again.
- Use panthenol on every part of your body, including the face. It’s very good at making your skin heal.
- Don’t use scrubs. -
- Use sunscreen every day, especially if you use adapalene. The more SPF the better, but high-SPF stuff can sometimes be too heavy or too sticky. 40 SPF is a sweet spot for me. Windows are usually block UVA/UVB, but indoor UV is a thing, especially if your windows are open. You can and will get sunburn even in winter if you don’t use sunscreen. With 50 SPF cream, you will need 50 hours of direct sun exposure to get the kind of burn you get in one hour without sunscreen. SPF means exactly that. When you’re sweating in the summer, don’t forget to reapply sunscreen.
- A dermatologist can prescribe you a better routine. Otherwise, use this basic one. Everything else, including what’s on Reddit, is bullshit. -
HAIR
- Every single anti-hair-loss product that doesn’t contain minoxidil is a scam. It won’t work, and it can’t work. Don’t waste your time and money.
- Minoxidil is yet to be completely figured out. In the meantime, it has a long list of terrible complications. Some of them are irreversible and can be life-ruining. Anyway, when you stop using minoxidil, your hair will recede back to how it originally was. It’s not a permanent treatment. Thus, I recommend you stay away from it.
- The only good way of getting your hair back is a hair transplant. I’m sorry.
- When washing hair, first get some shampoo on your hands, make some foam, then carefully apply shampoo just where your hair grows from your scalp. Don’t pour shampoo on your head.
- Once your hair roots covered in foam, carefully wash your head with squishing motion. Wait for several minutes, then rinse thoroughly. -
- Apply hair mask. Hair mask and hair conditioners are exactly the same, but the conditioner is more diluted for the same price. Thus, always buy masks instead of conditioners. When applying mask, smear it all over your hair. Squish it in thoroughly. Wait for as long as you meaningfully can while not letting it dry.
- Rinse carefully. Don’t rinse till the point when your hair is squeaky. Leave some residue. When you finish rinsing, your hair should be just a bit slippery. Rinsing hair mask with colder water is easier, as it won’t come off as quickly as in hot water.
- Let hair dry on its own. Welcome to the best hair you ever had. -
I think we need the male version, in the interest of balance.
- Teeth: toothpaste, whatever they've got in Lidl.
- Hands: swarfega. If that doesn't work, try paraffin, ethanol, and then paint thinner. If none of those work, sandpaper can be used on the less delicate bits.
- Everything else: some kind of shower gel, Lidl again.
Alright fellow sweaty programmers, mama Kiki is here to teach you the basics of hygiene.
TEETH
- If you have a toothpaste prescription, use it.
- Every single whitening toothpaste is a scam. Don’t use them.
- Every single over-the-counter toothpaste that decreases sensitivity does work. If your teeth are sensitive, use it.
- Otherwise, buy the cheapest name-brand toothpaste.
- Use dental floss. As long as it’s flat and waxed, the cheapest one will do.
- When flossing, never move the floss back and forth as if you try to saw through your gums. Just put the floss in, then out. Repeat if necessary.
- Don’t put your toothpaste on your toothbrush. Put a small amount of it directly in your mouth with a bit of water. Close your mouth and spread toothpaste all over your teeth using a rinsing motion, as if it was mouthwash. Now your teeth are completely covered.
- When brushing teeth, don’t use -90°/0°/90° angles. Use -35°/35°. This way you will spend less time while getting better cleansing. Bristle ends should touch where your teeth meet your gums.
- Get yourself a tongue scrubber. Scrub your tongue until what comes off of it is clean. Dirty tongue is why your breath smells bad, not dirty teeth.
- After you’re done, don’t rinse! Spit the toothpaste out, but let its residue stay there. The remineralization process is now started. If you follow the routine, you don’t need mouthwash at all.
- Drinking/eating sugary things, not washing your teeth and going straight to bed is the best way to get cavities ASAP. In your mouth, sugar quickly turns into the kind of acid that we use for soldering. It can strip the oxide layer off of copper. Do you know how after you drink Coke, your teeth become almost squeaky clean? That’s this. If you like sugary drinks, carefully drink them using a straw. Rinse immediately after you’re done drinking & eating.
SHAVING
- Get yourself an old-school safety T-razor, the one that takes suicide blades. It will last a lifetime. Mühle and Merkur are good manufacturers (not affiliated). Once you have it, for the rest of your life, you will only buy blades. This is the most environmentally friendly way to get a clean, close shave. Electric razors save water, but they often contain batteries.
- Because of how violently electric razor’s blades hit hair while cutting it, they chip your hair. This leads to your freshly grown hair being sharp, rough and unpleasant to the touch. The manual razor, on the other hand, produce clean edges. When your hair grows back, it will be softer than what you get with an electric razor.
- Feather brand blades (not affiliated) are the sharpest in the world. The sharper the blade, the less traumatic it is. Watch T-razor tutorials on YouTube. There are different shaving techniques that will get you a killer shave.
- T-razor blades last considerably longer than their modern soyboy single-use counterparts.
- Because of a single blade construction, T-razor almost never leaves irritation.
- Basically, modern single-use plastic blades are horrible for the environment, and they’re almost a scam for how much you get for your money. They’re only rivaled by printer ink. Use them only for intimate shaving, as they’re considerably handier down there.
- Always shave after hot shower.
- Before shaving, dry the skin surface. Apply shaving foam on dry skin only, as it contains chemicals that make your hair softer. When diluted, they’re not as effective, and shaving unsoftened hair is almost always unpleasant and dangerous.
- After applying the foam, wait about a minute for the foam to work. If the skin gets irritated, don’t wait for as long, or perhaps try a different foam brand.
- Before shaving, thoroughly clean your razor with hand sanitizer or ethanol. Ideally, it should be sterile. Using boiling hot water is also a good option, just be careful with it.
- After shaving, rinse off foam, immediately dry your skin with a clean towel, then apply aftershave. After applying it, don’t touch your skin until it completely dries. If you follow this routine, your skin won’t get any pimples, guaranteed.
- Scrubs won’t help you. Don’t use them.
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