How close is your manager/managed relationship to an abusive relationship? Gaslighting, Finical abuse, Devaluation, Psychological projection, etc.?

yes

the wilder thing is you can't like turn to another co worker or boss and be like "bruh what the fuck". they don't see it as wrong

which is why I ain't working no more. it felt like my job wasn't the work I did or how what I built made them money, but my subjugation for capricious and unnecessary bullshit. you hired me to do a thing, I do the thing. I ain't here to be your psychological support animal tho. get a fucking therapist

but it's evidently culturally normal to coerce and threaten people, isolate them, lie to them

maybe I don't wanna be part of that then

I once had a manager devaluating me a lot. But at certain moment i got tired and did exactly everything he asked the way he asked. Then I found out - it never stops. It was just his hobby. Then i left company for a client. Client was always happy with me, never complained about stuff. It was very weird manager always had to complain smth since i was always working on site at the client. Wtf did he even had to complain. I'm trying to remember situations. Ofcourse they were mad at the client, but client was too big, they couldn't handle him. Normally for a transfer between outsourcing company and company some fee is applied. Client also didn't pay that, they were like "Sue me" what they didn't do. It was a good choice

I'm not even sure who my manager is.

@Jabb03 it's me. You can start a few hours later tomorrow. It's OK

I don't have a manager. Just one of the perks of freelancing lmao.

"Managed relationship - don't worry about maintenance and focus on what's important"

@SidTheITGuy meh, most of my managers were nice. Ofc, imagine being a bastard AND do nothing. That can't last that long. Sadly, the manager I mentioned above was very productive so that didn't add up. I also left the company because that manager bullied a friend away from the company that got hired because they asked for him and since i convinced him to switch, I got 1000,-. That amount didn't feel right since that situation. It became blood money. I would not quickly hire a private friend in company again and next time i'll split the money in the beginning with that person if it happens

My manager is surprisingly nice and not a piece of shit.

@Ranchonyx but does he put a plate with a bigger piece of pizza than the rest gets on your desk on fridays while giving you a wink?

Full program:
Gaslighting
explained to me how I can see how to see invoices timesheets.
Shits on me a few months later for not submitting work logs at the end of every single day. Reason being they invoice them to the client at the same day. I look at the timesheets, and I see that up to a few months in the past they apparently havent been invoiced. He discredits that argument by saying that the information is not meant for us. Denied my „audacious superstitions“ that he showed me how to look this up a few months prior.

Devaluing
Clients are very happy, but I always get what on for not following 100% their way of doing things. Even when I do, it’s very shit and I need to do better.

they complain about bad code going into prod all the time, and shitting on us for getting another invoice canceled. I have told them multiple times about git solving exactly that problem. We can’t use it because this retard managed to accidentally delete one customers codebase with git. (???)

I've had very bad and very good, no middle ground.

The bad, won't get in detail because they have been covered already. (And whenever they went stupid enough to complain to higher ups about me they ended fired).

The good, oh the joy.

Those managers would actually take care of all the bureaucracy bullshit (they'd fill my time logs, answer retarded mails from clients), had at least a bare minimum of tech knowledge. (Were able to at least know what a terminal is), and wouldn't make stupid promises to salesmen throwing us under the bus.

And above all, they understood they are just another (necessary) cog on the machine, and not our bosses

@CoreFusionX NICE! My manager did fill in my time logs too! I refused to fill them in as long he didn't configured smth in Jira for me. So he filled it in for a half year or so. Batshit crazy. On his last day, I didn't let him get away and asked him why ffs he didn't do it and he did admit, he just didn't know how. FINE, HAVE SAID THAT. It's not like you can't contact Jira support or so. Damn

I'm from Egypt, the sole reason companies open offices here is to financially abuse the fuck outta you.