7
Liebranca
84d

For reasons I won't disclose, I am just switching off reality in a pretty hardcore way.

Hours, and I mean almost half the fucking day, spent soloing my own TTRPG. It's actually the most fun I've had in years, I think I'm becoming slightly addicted. Dude, I have an abyss of grimdark lore, it's fucking crazy. I'm just bending the space-time continuum with my sorcerous ways, turns out the piece of shit $2 mechanics I designed are so flexible the game simply takes no effort to enjoy.

Anyway, I don't feel bad for this specifically. I do my daily work hours so I'm at peace, and allow myself to just do what I want to do.

Everything else is what gets me down. Fucking shit, man. I'd be ashamed of complaning, as I have it very good. I like my job and I like my game too. No problems there.

But the fact that I cannot go anywhere beyond those two things does raise little bit of an alarm, buried somewhere deep beneath the hundred tomes of forbidden spells I'm collecting on the alcove, down by my quarters on the cursed tower.

Tomorrow night, I'm going on more mystical adventures together with my vampire homegirl. She's a total boss. I was at 1 HP with both my fucking legs broken and no mana, just sitting on the sidelines trying not to die, while she fended off an inquisitor two times her level, all by herself. I know she's a fictional character but I said thank you for real a couple times, just to be nice, as she totally saved my arcane ass.

Now, you get me, right? It's escapism, and I'm great at it, a little bit too much. Honestly, once I'm done with my responsibilities for the day, I just don't feel like doing much of anything else, and I'm not crazy enough (yet) to not notice the downside, that being, no fucking life outside of working and locking myself up inside dark fantasy wonderland.

I suppose this is my roundabout way to say this better than sex, but I don't know if you would understand the sentiment.

Anyway, shutting off reality again in twelve or so hours, can't fucking wait.

Comments
  • 2
    Is this homebrew DnD?
  • 4
    I relate so hard with the escapism. 🙈
    These days I'm doing it with devrant.
  • 1
    @ars1 It's kind of like minimalistic DnD, as in if I wrote down the rulebook it'd be pretty smol. And some things have no rule, other than the rule of cool.

    @jestdotty Dude I made up like half the game in my head WHILE PLAYING OBLIVION.

    Let me tell you. I was messing around with the spellmaker, down by Frostcrag Spire. Then it struck me:

    - Words are spell effects, in and of themselves, so the mere act of telling a story can morph the world!

    - Some stupid mother fucker abused this in the past, causing time to break and dreams to become real. Now nightmares roam the earth!

    - You can spend mana on an action in your turn, and/or prepare a reaction to use during someone else's. Same cost.

    - There is a hard limit to how much combined mana can be spent in a single turn. Surpass this limit and everyone dies horribly!

    Everything else just flowed from there. I've been reshaping this shit for years, and now I know I can just play it solo.

    Fuck perl. I'll make videos on this now!
  • 1
    Playing a D&D style narrative-heavy TTRPG alone is pretty close to writing a book. In fact, I know an aspiring writer who often does the dice math without rolling anything just to get a sense of everyone's odds in fight scenes.
  • 0
    @lorentz Sir, I owe you and @Demolishun my dog. Thank you ^^

    Anyway, rolling is sweet for writing. Sometimes, if I have complete control, nothing exciting or unpredictable happens, or it might be a little bit self-indulgent. But giving away this control also means something I didn't intend to occur __can__ occur, if I play by the rules. Like, say, evaporating the protagonist's plot armor. Ooops.

    One can break the rules, obviously, or have a contingency ex machina, but it's best done sparingly, while still maintaining that failure has consequence, and narrative weight. It's a lot harder to structure a larger story this way, though. I'm not very good at it ;> I like to just wander off into things and see what happens, so it's all very random.
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