never thought this would happen to me, but some would say it was inevitable, but i just shitted and when i turned around, Blood was everywhere.

what the fuck!!!

this shit has never happened to me before. why did i just shit fucking blood bro??

You need to use more lube.

We told you like a hundred times that you should visit a doctor because of your stories about insane shitting.

But I’m sure it’s all fine. No need to worry.

We cannot fix this bug here, please submit a ticket to a body engineer (sometimes called doctor).

Bright red is nothing to worry about. Likely either a fissure or hemorrhoids.

Dark red or black is a more serious issue. That's old blood that came from inside your body. Pepto also makes your shit black, don't panic if you've taken that recently.

I don't understand. You bought a beamer, not a Ford Probe.

@lungdart it was bright red like strawberry juice

Have you consulted a Doctor yet? If not, it is high time

devRant is not going to help you or anyone whatsoever

remember the few hundred times i told you you should go see a doc...?

well, i just hope the last words you think of while you're bleeding to death out of your arse are "i told you so"

I, too, love beets.

@b2plane you need to get it looked at by a doc. Could be anything from too rough tp to fatal