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@retoor yes well my roommate who left me this dirty apartment without cleaning it said he wanted to go to restaurants and our glorious dictator leader said you can't go into a shop without a passport
whatever
my hair keeps falling out now
would be nice if my immune system wasn't trained wrong but this is what I got now
I had no health issues before... my resting heart rate was 50-60 despite not even exercising. I did get mild seasonal allergies sometimes but that was the extent of it. my grandad just died at 97 and my grandma is still alive at 102. the only person in my family who died before 90 was a dude who got hit by lightning on a boat one time. I was the fastest runner, and also long distance, in multiple schools when I was growing up and I find sports too boring to bother with. so. it ain't like this happened out of fucking nowhere.
hell i could eat spoiled food and everybody got sick and I was fine. now I get dementia if I eat a fucking fruit.
I am full of rage -
@retoor Doing something masochistic daily? I hadn't heard that tip before.
A spanking a day keeps the doctor away? -
@donkulator masochistic every day would develop tolerance
voluntary stress is eustress and causes adaptation
involuntary stress degrades life forms on the other hand
hence they stick trauma patients into cognitive behavioral therapy where they talk them into habitual thinking that their stress is voluntary
lyf hax
masochism by its definition is a liking of pain -
@donkulator it technically makes sense. Why seeing a doctor if you like your pain?
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in terms of mentally, since that's what everyone keeps saying
not a stranger to pampering myself, though now I sort of can't because food will kill me. I also get bad effects to teas I used to drink fine before, but other teas, if organic, I can drink
took up hot milk baths, clay baths
do stupid meditation music (I used to meditate on my own fine before but actually now I suddenly can't... that was one of the symptoms not that anyone gave a fuck), stuff like binaural beats or oxytocin release tunes, etc, tried hypnotism, more woo woo shit like chi / reki healing and whatever else, now I'm doing witchy chaos magic things -- like did I get cursed? oh yeah and I bought incense sticks
might buy some magic mushrooms whenever I'm done cleaning everything and do that
guess I could smoke weed but that only would provide temporary relief. I actually would smoke weed to give myself psychosis, and munchies, so I could binge TV shows and movies and eat a lot of food. but food is no-no now😡 -
@donkulator what's masochistic about spanking. We all need one often, else we get cocky
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@jestdotty I know I have very limited chance of success but if you feel like you truly have a medical issue, see a doctor and if the one you see dismisses you, change.
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@jestdotty I know someone who ended up three months in a closed cell having psychosis of weed. Normally, drugs psychosis last top few days or so. Better swallow some XTC to have a near psychotic experience. But i think it's quite hard to get in Canada? XTC doesn't work on me anymore because of haldol medication. Bummer. I tried several types. It only makes me a bit warm. I stuffed six once before i knew that I became resistant for it. Normally a quarter or a half makes me go beyond crazy. I'm lovely under influence. Cuddle animal
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@Tounai yeah, or just stress. Stress makes everything listed possible i guess
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@retoor Agreed but sometimes it’s better to see someone competent who does necessary exams than ending up with more problems. Some doctors are unfortunately very dismissive nowadays.
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@Tounai well I did that 5 times and no thanks
they ended up charging me money for misusing them. I can't even work so I ain't doing that again
I live in a country where I pay taxes for the healthcare but seems it's not for me anymore. sike.
unless you call in for a therapist and end up on a list for 2 years and then get one and they tell you to MAID yourself
at any rate not much confidence. I initially was doing a health science degree before I did computer science and I ended up switching out because I thought it was a waste of my time and money because none of the teachers actually taught you anything. turns out it wasn't the school, pretty sure it's the whole medical field now after all my latest experiences! -
@retoor I can't do stress now actually. it flares up the issues
but like... me coding something i'm excited for was too much stress on my body and would flare me up lmfao
I have a better stress tolerance now. I've been trending slowly up since February for some reason.
but before. couldn't do music for example. hell... I had heart issues... so once when roomie played a movie trailer the bass in it made my heart feel very very very bad. that wasn't stress related persay but yeah. shit just go fuck and fuck you
thing is I've always had high stress tolerance and loved stress. I need stimulation. so not being able to do anything "fun" was so annoying, and kind of stressful in itself in a way but I got used to it eventually... ðŸ˜
now I don't know. I do have to clean a disgusting apartment. but I'm doing 1-2 hours of cleaning a day, and I cut out my daily walks and now the cleaning is my exercise -
@jestdotty Hope you do well, I thought Canada had a free healthcare system, looks like healthcare goes shit everywhere.
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Are those fucking assholes in Canada still requiring vaxxine passports?
It is funny now. People who demanded you have proof of vaccination to go to fucking McDonalds now say its inappropriate to ask if they had the vax when someone dies. Complete disconnection from reality. Cannot see self hypocrisy. -
@Demolishun they actually never required a vaccine passport. nobody ever checked -.-
so I got harmed for no reason
tbf where I live they put the no bicycle on the docks or 300$ fine sign upsidedown and then there's like 50 people with bikes chilling on the dock. and there is cops that drive around there regularly and they just don't do anything
but back when the COVID passport stuff was happening we had curfews and the cops would legit stop you and frisk all your shit if anyone was on the streets. it was basically martial law for no reason -
@jestdotty it was a compliance test.
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@Demolishun murica still only allows vaccinated people in the country as only one afaik. What about that
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@retoor they letting everybody across the southern border without checking.
You know you need to reevaluate your life when you see this.
well now that I put my wallet through the wash and these "very important" vaccine passport cards were in there that disintegrated (also by the way the email with the digital vaccine cards they sent me doesn't have a PDF attachment but has a link to a PDF file -- that is now 404! whatcha trying to hide, fuckers?). evidently fake vaccine passport creation is the only sort of fraud the Quebec government cares about, since there was a news story recently how the council for discovering fraud is just 95% faking vaccine cards fraud (kicker I've never heard of this council, seems they've only been active in the post covid era), nevermind that that shit fucked me up and I've had dementia at 30 for 3 years now, with my body having self heating / metabolism issues, pink blood or clots showing up everywhere issues, a fucking purple toe (actually I would just randomly turn purple on and off, and once yellow! I'm sure my liver is fine), numbness in my left side, hands, feet, mania / feeling like you're dying... but anyway it's all in your head and fuck off stop calling 911
I decided I would take a photo of the papers (since they're so important and came at such a cost!) and evidently now my camera app crashes anytime I try to take a photo. rebooted. somehow my photo viewer app updated with a reboot but the camera app is still busted.
I think this is a sign I should root my phone
but I'm already doing 4 things right now. on top of being reminded of my fucking medical trauma making this post RN I guess
fuk
rant
toomuch