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could also be diabetes 3 especially if vaccine induced neuro inflammation but ignore me. that's what I've been dealing with. symptoms include emotionality but I never got that (I've always been a very stoic person). my brain basically got dementia though. can't do the things I used to do. doctor tried to say it's burnout but I wasn't doing jack shit to burn out. also my resting heart rate was 110 and I couldn't sleep for 2 months so that was something. they kept saying I had anxiety but over fucking what, and also no way. medic thought I was on stimulants but I wasn't. I'm a damned fit 30 year old. my heart rate wouldn't go higher than 80 before and sat at 50-60
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currently narrowing it down to insulin insensitivity
COVID itself apparently induced insulin insensitivity in people
means your cells can't eat the sugar in your blood. so your brain has no energy for anything. my IQ went from 145 to 120. not fun. very angry about it
a 5'8 120-135 lb chick totally has type 2 diabetes. like that makes sense -
CoreFusionX356123hCould simply be growth.
This week, I had to dust off lots of C arcane knowledge that I barely remembered.
They didn't come into use for my line of work in decades, so naturally, other knowledge takes its place in the forefront, and, the more you diversify, you end up with a broader perspective of the whole process, and naturally end in architecture/DevOps/sysadmin, etc, at the price that low level details give way. -
@jestdotty that's twisted, my lord. Do you have any way to recover?
I don't know, basically my sleep schedule is fucked because of anxiety, I started having panick attacks over stupid things like too thick saliva that makes me feel I'm going to suffocate and high stress work is sure another factor (lot of requests, lot to learn even if I'm experienced).
Family life also have lot of chores and duties.
That said I often tought about neuroinflammation and his nasty effects.
How one goes about diagnosing neuroinflammation presence? -
@CoreFusionX It's not only that, some days I really struggle making up with simple tasks or simple code I've done multiple times in the past, like common anti-sql injection practices, familiar programming patterns and so on. I get lost in the details and start to procrastinate because I feel I can't finish the task and an uncanny and inexplicable sense of procrastination overcomes everything even if I have deadlines.
I find myself distracting with whatever else task but the one I should focus just to avoid doing it because I know it's difficult for me in that moment.
It absolutely sucks and kills my motivation and self esteem -
@jestdotty Both your POVs are really interesting and I will surely dwell more into them as I need to discover the root causes of this shit that is happening to me. Thanks for the insight
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@IHateFrameworks idk the doctors weren't useful
I found my own stuff
they kept just charging me money for misusing the ambulance while repeatedly testing me for pregnancy when i told them that would be physically impossible. thanks, canada
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high cortisol for an extended period of time will cause inflammation. which is what burnout is. gotta chill. if it's behaviour caused it would be that. for me it was not that simply
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Need help from fellow devs.
It's been at least 3-4 years and it's getting worse.
I keep being demotivated, forgetful, inconclusive and not on point with code. (Yeah I know, I rant about angular, but that's a 10 years hate).
Today I'm supposed to do some table component that has pagination, buttons and shit in angular (yeah.... from scratch, they want to design the whole thing from 0) and I'm getting all confused by managing pagination, input to angular components, and all the simple stuff that I'VE DONE COUNTLESS TIMES.
I keep forgetting details, small meetups (under 20 mins) where we discuss lot of small details of implementation and I loose a lot of the details, forget a lot of stuff and have an hard time to put all the info togheter in a meaningful group of informations to have all the information available in an usable way at the moment of developing code.
Often I get rage outbursts because I don't understand things like before and I have to read and write down every fucking thing.
Often I get discouraged because I get lost in the details of big projects.
I have a lot of experience and that's what keeps me afloat.
I got panick attacks for small things and I never had panick attacks.
I feel I would need to stay away at all from programming for 2 months to have some passion back in it.
My mind is exhausted.
Some new brilliant colleagues joined the company and so I feel compelled to compete
and it works solely thanks to my superior experience.
I feel like a total dumbass and mentally challenged now.
Is it burnout? is it depression? What is it?
question
burnout