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I haven't met anyone who are beginners really yet. So I'm hoping I will at the bootcamp. It's been people so far who are established devs who have been working for big companies for several years. They are brilliant coders and exceptionally intelligent. They are just assholes who don't really care about anything but themselves. I've been unable to have a conversation that isn't entirely focused on them. Any attempt to pivot it to anything else fails. It's nerve wracking.
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You mentioned your "slightly dumper" friends. Maybe this is the root of the feeling you have? The people you are talking about might think they are the smartess bad asses in the world and need to tell anyone else about their greatness. They might see you as a nice person and why not also as a friend too, but they might also think you maybe slighty dumper than them.
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@beegC0de @oxmox My "dumber friends" is actually what they call themselves. It's not meant as derogatory at all. They noticed the problem I had with this guy as well and they aren't really tech people at all. They also had to meet that douchey mentor guy. I didn't think to clarify that. I don't actually think they are dumb.
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I think I'm too big of an impostor to ever be mean to any less experienced programmer out there actually haha
But generally yes, it's nearly impossible to find a mentor without some sort of attitude, sadly. I have/had a much more senior dev friend and talking to him is/was just like participating in some weird self appraisal of his. I'm open about not knowing stuff and he's not, he'd rather change the subject than have "a midleveler school him".
Ah did I mention we don't hang out much anymore :)
I think it's a problem in general with developers though. I find most of them have a hidden trait of not liking not knowing stuff or someone knowing more than them -
@zickig well I did join the bootcamp to change my environment, from meeting others online to meeting in person, if they are in the bootcamp they are either going to be at my level or possibly below and if above my level probably not by a crazy amount.
Don't have any coworkers, I quit my job to do the bootcamp. And I love my friends. They aren't a problem at all. But they don't code and my attempts to make friends with people who do has been a disaster. -
@SickDumbHappy I'd be able to deal with a mentor who could do that. One of my bigger problems with that guy specifically... was it's impossible to talk to him about anything. Even if it's not about code he just has this weird superiority complex about everything. I've found many of my other attempts left me with people who were similar as well.
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@SickDumbHappy I'm kind of the opposite. I can be a total asshole. But I'm still somewhat social and I'm very selective about who is in my circle of friends. Many of my friends are assholes too it's not am exclusively negative trait in my opinion. So if I think someone is too big of a prick to want to be friends with then that person is like... a next level prick.
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I have noticed that some devs tend to act that way (ego issue/God complex), but some are v friendly, willing to learn and teach others. However, I have also noticed that most devs tend to work alone, not willing to join up with another group of devs (new startup company, or with friends) but start their own company (most devs prefer seperate companies it seems with majority share) to change the world or join one of the larger companies.
But I think if you do tell your mentor that he is acting that way he might change cause maybe he is not aware that it is frustrating for others. -
@KittyMeowstika that's reassuring. I'm definitely hoping that's the case. I'm really hoping the people in my bootcamp are chill people.
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@n00bn00b fingers crossed 🤞
Yet another commercial seminar upset I won't give up a day of my time to fly to the UK to speak at the event f...
I've really struggled to make friends with people who code... and it's been absolutely frustrating. Does everyone in this industry have a god complex or something? Everyone I try to make friends with ends up being super narcissistic and self obsessed it's crazy. One of them wanted to be my mentor a while back, and we still talk occasionally, but after getting to know him I decided I didn't want to learn from him. It turns out he only mentors people to showboat his greatness and claim later that all their success is directly his doing. I decided I wasn't going to be one of those people and I only ever had 2 sessions from him. One of the best choices I've ever made. But I've found a lot of people who are programmers tend to be a lot like him. A lot of them I talk to will hit me up to brag about themselves or what they've done. But none ever ask what's been up with me or how my journey is doing? Is this just a normal thing in this industry or am I just meeting terrible people. It's made me appreciate my slightly dumber friends, cause at least they care about me and it shows.
More a rant than anything, but genuinely curious if anyone else has this issue... I'm starting my bootcamp soon and I'm hoping to make friends but I'm so concerned about this it's kind of giving me anxiety.
rant
where's the chill people at
assholes
networking
devfriends
egos