If programming languages had honest slogans, what would they be?

C: If you want a horse, make sure you feed it, clean it and secure it yourself. No warranties.

C++: If you want a horse, you need to buy a circus along with it.

Java: Before you buy a horse - buy a piece of land, build a house in that land, build a barn beside the house & if you are not bankrupt yet, buy the horse and then put the horse in the barn.

C#: You don’t want a horse, but Microsoft wants you to have a horse. Now it’s up to you if you want Microsoft or not.

Swift: Don’t buy an overpriced Unicorn if all you wanted was a horse.

JavaScript: If you want to buy a horse & confidently ride it, make sure you read a book named "You don't know horse".

PHP: After enough optimization, your horse can compete the top most horses in the world; but deep down, you'll always know it's an ass.

Hack: Let's face it, even if you take the ass from the ass lovers and give them back a horse in exchange, not many will ride it.

Ruby: If you want a horse, make sure you ride it on top of rail roads, even if the horse can't run fast on rails.

Python: Don't ride your horse and eat your sandwich on the same line, until you indent it on the next line.

Bash: Your horse may shit everywhere, but at least it gets the job done.

R: You are the horse. R will ride you.

Got this from Quora.

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