4 months into my marriage, the "you spend too much time programming" argument finally happened. I guess I could start going to bed before 3am...

or inform your significant other about the deadlines you need to meet!

or go to bed early and the. snope out at midnight , I think you know what I meant ;)

*sneak out

Tell her it's how the bills are paid. I have this argument too unfortunately. It's hard to find balance.

Your spouse should respect your work requirements but they might be concerned about your health and well being. Consider surprising them by taking a day off in the middle of the week and doing a pre-planned activity.

Note: I am NOT a marriage/relationship counselor. I'm an engineer - I solve problems, practical ones ;-)

Divorce is always on the table!

Sorry babe, you like to eat don't you?

I wish I could program more at home after my regular 9-to-5 (actually 9 to 6) job, but in the end I think it is worth to take a step back and enjoy the time I have with my gf (which moved in for about 2 years, no signs of marriage yet).

Most of the time though, I am architecting stuff in my mind, thinking about ways to tackle certain problems. It helps growing the idea before taking action. When I am confident enough to try a solution I usually write when I arrive at my job earlier in the mornings.

You should try to find balance to not let her down, but at the same time show that sometimes you get caught in a stream of productivity which you don't want to miss. Compensate her later with dinners and fancy stuff. Now, if you work home office it is a different thing, and you should set up a schedule - you need to live too.

Relationships are all about this constant juggling between stuff you want to do alone versus stuff you have do together.

Tbh pulling nighters isn't healthy for you. Do what your wife says.