Me: "hey CEO, that product that's only had 3 devs on for a couple of years has grossed a million brit bucks 2 years running. Any chance we could get some laptops for the team that aren't heavy as fuck and 4-5 years old. Maybe some monitors that aren't tiny and dull as fuck?"

CEO: "no"

Also, what's people's dream dev gear?

Dual screen desktop set up.

XPS 13 with max specs

@Stuxnet I'm definitely hard to please, now that I read that lmao

@Stuxnet I asked for maxed xps 15s.
The chance of that i9 goodness was too tempting

@njpugh90 similar issue here - 2x 22" monitors, but both cheapest they could find.
Asked for one of the dell 34" ultra wides for each dev... Lets see what we get

curved IPS 4k
Or two 240(+)hz IPS/OLED displays.

OS: Gentoo or Debian. I'd also happily give BSD a try.

Wait, dream dev gear, you say?
VR, and an entire soundproof room to myself.
I'd have hundreds of virtual displays by a forest waterfall, or on a beach. Just me, my music, my code, and somewhere beautiful.

Notifications can be sent unobtrusively in bottles.

@Root I'd sign up for bottle notifications. Imagine how exciting that would be.

@Root *bottles slides into the room*
Oh I imagine who and what could it be.
*uncorks the bottle*
*takes out the parchment*
* starts reading *

" One(or more) new comments on the rant you commented on! "

@Root bottle has to be full

@Root it's hard enough getting good quality acceptance criteria and repro steps as it is without getting them via bottle.
Though I love the idea so much I may need to look into it...