What's the difference between a wasp and single loose hair?
Apparently none till the wasp stings :/

Yesterday I thought I had a loose hair on my neck.. ok, I shrug it off.. later again the creepy feeling.. shrugs off..

I continue to work, sumberged in code, wanting to find the fucker (bug, not the wasp/hair).. lean in to the monitor... 10 cents away from the screen... Ok, maybe that's it! Feels the hair on my back, near shoulderblades again... shrugging again more violently to get it further down to fall out.. nothing.. ok, got the bug, threw myslef back in the chair with substential force & BAAAAM!!! Motherfucking hair bit me!! O.o

I scream in horror & on top of the lungs (it was late, after work hours so I didn't expect anyone else still at the office) PROKLETA PRASICA (roughly translated to goddamn female swine).. I previously saw some green bug flying around the office and I thought that nasty thing bit me (didn't know they bite soo, much more horror for me).. O.o

Anyhow, I jump up from the computer and see my coworker looking at me all baffled.. I proceed to franticly take of my headphones and hoodie..thinking about wtf should I do now, I cannot get undressed in front of him (not for my sake, bra is the same as top of the bathing suit for me, but still..I don't want anyone suing me for impropper behaviour of undreasing in front of coworkers..), how the fuck should I get to the toilet?! O.o

C: Are you ok?!
M: Um.. sth bit me..wtf?!
C: There was a wasp flying around somewhere some time ago.. are you alergic?!
M: um..not sure, I don't think so..we'll see soon..

I proceed to the WC, to take off tshirt & check/kill off the fucker.. on my way there (walking funny to not press the hair to my body again) I got another surprise, another coworker was working late..

C2: Are you ok?! O.o
M: yeah, sth bit me, probably a wasp..

Ok, finally on the loo..ok, do not lock self in in case it escapes and you need help.. don't even shut the door. Check.. standing between the doors I contemplate on how the fuck should I take my tshirt off without angering the fucker even more and getting bitten again.. O.O

I lifted the tshirt up my back to let it out.. nope, not there..the creepy felling of buzzing around between my shoulder blades continues.. crap.. what to do?!

I stood there & contemplated the task.. ok, roll up the tshirt to the shoulder blades, not against the body (duh) to prevent further stings..tighten the fabric, so it cannot escape, quickly remove the band from the body.. done..reversed the tshirt and straightened it.. bzzz... Fucker fell somewhere.. Dafaq?! Was it really just a wasp?! If yes, no problem...but what if coworker was wrong and I got bitten by that nasty green whateveritsname bug?! Eeeeewwww! Is it poisonous? Gotta find it & kill it for good.. waited a bit, than saw a goddamn wasp crawl from under the toilet.. wasp!! Yess!! Stopm stomp fucker!!

I get dressed & go back to my desk..

C: Did you terminate it?!
M: Yup, fucker went on a toilet paper trip down the drain!!

I sit down, starting to get my headphones back on and proceed to work.., but before I could, one last gem:

C: CTO would say, thank god it didn't sting you in your finger cuz you wouldn't be able to type anymore..

M: O.O so true hahhahahaaa

Disclaimer - I like animals, but I freakking hate wasps..especially if they get under my tshirt to sting.. :/

  • 9
    Bah, what a stupid beast! I got house spiders on my desk at home sometimes but I think all they want to do is code review, so I leave them be.
  • 2
    Prokleta prasica, I'm noting that one :3
  • 0
    @daemonAD OMG, how did you scratch that?! O.o
    Worst for me is the itch..the goddamn itch I cannot reach.. now I am like a cow, trying to scratch my back on every door or fence..
  • 0
  • 0
    Ha, this is the green bugger I thought bit me..

    Aaannnd..it's gone.. ffs, I just took a picture and it's gone now.. :/ I hope he doesn't come around for rant pt 2..

    Wasp sting.. pain on back, no problem, itch..fuuuuuuu!! I have problems with left shoulder so I cannot move my arm around enough to scratch.. :/
  • 1
    Fuck wasps! I had one of those cunts on the inside of my shirt but I thought it was just one of those annoying way too large tags they put inside shirts for some reason.

    I threw myself back in the chair in quite the same way after finally getting some complicated CSS right and got 3 stings in my upper back.

    I grabbed that part of my shirt and squeezed the fucker to death. Had to spend 5 minutes cleaning wasp guts out of my shirt.

    As for that green bug, I see those all the time and they're completely harmless. Great for taking pictures of and posting them to the bug tracker. Until your access gets revoked with reason "puns"...
  • 0
    @franga2000 lol @ bug tracker was not intended tgough.
    And yeah I thought they were harmless but then the sting.. At first I was like WTF how did that thing mutate.. 😂😂
Add Comment