Working with a team of interns, pointed out a bunch of unit tests are failing, they said they would take care of it.

10 mins later they opened a pull request to delete the tests that were failing.

fml, fml, fml, fml ... and ... oh yeah fml

The first time I use devrant, I thought "fml" is some kind of new generation markup language, like "HTML" or "XML". Until I become too curious to look for "fml" in the internet.

So, I make this and leave it here as reference for future generation...

Friend: Hey, can you fix my laptop? The hard drive is almost full.

Me: (Looking through his folders) Maybe it's because of this. Why do you have 3000+ files in your downloads folder? Maybe I should delete some of this.

Friend: No no, please don't touch the downloads folder, I have some very important documents there.

Me: Why don't you move them to a separate folder then? You should organize the ones you actually need and delete the rest. This folder is a complete mess.

Friend: No no, the problem is not the downloads folder, there must be something else. Can't you just uninstall some programs to free up space?

Me: I could, but I don't know which ones you actually use.

Friend: What? You should know!! You studied computer science for this!!

Me: First of all, there is not a single class in the whole 4 years of university called "How to uninstall programs and free up space on 128GB hard drives of shitty €400 computers". Second of all, I don't know why you were expecting me to find a magic button on your laptop that immediately frees up all the space in a hard drive without actually deleting anything. That's not how computers work, you know.

Friend: Hey if you didn't want to help me you could have said so in the first place.

Me: FML

Me when viewing a line of PHP where the previous developer add "sleep(5)" to an Ajax endpoint with the comment "Sleep for 5 seconds so the ajax loading icon is visible to users".

FML.

My college internet sucks!

It was totally fine upto when they blocked facebook and other social networking sites. 😕

Then they blocked youtube! 🤧 Ok, that was fine too!

But now they've blocked Stack Overflow! WTF!! 😭😭

This is the biggest punishment for any computer engineering student.

And there's no one to complain about it!😡😡 They've also blocked Ubuntu forums and several other helping sites! And they expect us to code without using these helpers. FML

Fml... this single backslash had me debugging all last night.

Story.
Did you know logging into chrome will auto sync all your fucking bookmarks to that other person's account??
I DIDN'T!!
(I use Firefox mainly and chromium for testing.)
I use chrome only for porn. Got shit tons of bookmarks. I login to my friend's sister Gmail on my chrome(for remote desktop - to help fix her computer. Somehow,remote desktop doesn't work on chromium)
Was browsing her pc via remote session and suddenly all of my porn bookmarks appear at the top bar.)
Had to manually select each bookmark in the bookmark manager and delete since CTRL+A won't work during the remote session. Don't know why.
FML.

Manager: How much time would the team take to implement this new thing?

Me : Atleast 4 months

Manager: No, we do not have that much time.

Me: How much do we have?

Manager: 45 days

Me: . . . . . .
Me: Who set this deadline for a research project?

Manager: I did, I already committed to the upper management as well.
Me: *fml*
_______________________________________

And this people is why I have to give up on weekends occasionally!
*tries to hide pain*

Found my old Bitcoin Wallet on an old hard drive from 2011.

0.005 BC.

FML

This dude is using 4 screens for work. When I asked for another screen at work,
I can't convince my boss for 2, FML

To the dude who got 4 screens, congratulations, and sorry I used your image without permission. BTW
You lucky bastard

Exams close.
New to devRant.
Addicted.
FML.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Just bought a Raspberry pi. Was so excited until I realized I don't have a microSD card. Fml

Collegue *yells through the office*:
Hey IT-guy the file is not there, where is it ?

Me: what file is not where ?

Collegue: you know that file i've been searching for 30 mins now on the Google drive.

Me: Have you tried hitting the name into the search bar ?

Collegue: Sure dude, I'm not stupid.

Me -> *one the way to her desk*
Collegue: OH! never mind I found it with the search bar. I swear it hasn't been there before!

*turning around, going back to my desk*
-fml

CAN SOMEBODY STOP THE TIME FOR A WHILE!!!

I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO AND TOO LITTLE TIME!!!

FML!

PS. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING IN DEVRANT?

1. Find bug
2. Try 3 methods of fixing
3. All fail
4. Tell yourself you're trying for the LAST time then you'll go on to something else
5. End up trying 5 more times
6. Repeat step 4 20 times
7. Cry
8. Finally take a break
9. Return next day, try another method, it works instantly

FML!

So I gave this guy access to a database and phpMyAdmin and then I get this:

Him: hello??? i cant make databases i have no privilages
Me: Use tables instead of databases...
Him: I need to make databases
Me: Why?
Him: 1. my votes plugin 2. my ftop plugin 3. my forums 4. my new forums 5. my new forums (he runs a minecraft server fml)
Me: You don't need databases for all of those, you can use tables, that's a massive waste
Him: idc i would rather have databases

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Just watched all episodes of Silicon Valley in 3 days...😂
#fml

love this app.
love the new algo.
love this community.

oh... rant? this is a place to rant?

fml.
tabs. or spaces? tabs! tabs.

I love this error report... Fml

My OS professor just said that next week we'll be learning about bash scripts, which is fine for me except for one simple thing. We're using Windows 10 and the instructions he provided us with confirm we'll write Windows batch scripts.
I asked him about that and he shouted at me for "thinking I'm smarter than someone with a PhD in computer science".

Also the whole semester apparentyly we won't even hear about Linux, since "only hackers and some servers use it". FML.

1st post. Not sure if rant.

> Join 1st job after college.
> Desk assigned is close to a senior dev
> Random day, QA asks senior dev questions on something and coincidentally I happened to be working on the same thing.
> Senior dev borrows my system and explains qa something.
> By the end of explanation senior dev had bunch of shell commands written on notepasd on my machine.
> I don't understand jack shit of whats happening.
> QA looks at me and says, "Ping me once."
> I think, "no idea what just happened but must be something related to network ."
> I open terminal and type "ping" and quitely wait for further instructions (address to ping that is).
> Everyone starts laughing their asses off.
> QA guy opens slack, and sends himself the commands on text document.
> I realize what just happened
> Laugh awkwardly with everyone to ease the pressure
> FML

Just spent the last 10-20 minutes debugging a stupid error. Turns out I spelt construct wrong. FML.

I was assigned a girl that's new to the industry (but with a master's degree).

I had high hopes, as people told me she is quite a curious fellow. As I am just a junior Dev with 2 yrs of experience Ididn't know if I could handle her.

We started working on a project. Which was a change request for a previous project I had developed. I gave her 2 days to read and understand the functional requirements of previous project and this CR. Then explained everything too.

Then I gave here another 3 days to read the previous design document to learn how this code worked.

I asked her multiple times if she has any questions. She said she got everything. Cool.

One week goes by. We start to code the CR while she is shadowing me. I explained why we chose one of the two approaches. And why we are making any of the changes. She as usual nodded in agreement.

I asked her to create Unit test cases.

She couldn't write even one. So, I quizzed her, she knew nothing about the project! Nothing at all!

FUCK!

I wrote down the test cases in short hand and told her to document it (by reffering previous UTC). She wrote the test cases in short hand in the document. And she reused the previous document and did not even clean it out.

After fixing the document I asked her to execute them. But nope, she doesn't even know how the application flows for this project. FML.

It took her 3 days to write and test 8 test cases.

Now she is assigned to me in another project. This one is more complicated. And I gave her a function skeleton to complete. I figured that it will take me 15 minutes so let's give her a day. But nope. 3 days no progress.

I get it someone might not be quick to grasp something. But you know what grinds my gears? That even after this you act like a know it all! Fuck! For someone who hasn't worked with her she is the most dilligent developer.

How the fuck does someone survive masters and suck so bad!

My laptop had a full meltdown and wouldn't turn on. It tried to start up then the screen went blank. It's happened before so I lost hope pretty quick.

Just spent the whole evening trying to fix it reinstalling windows and now I spot the problem. The HDMI is plugged in to a monitor that was off. My laptop was fine the whole time. Fml

My friend just got them... I dont have them... fml

I asked collegue about status of component thru Skype (different countries, you know) and received answer he's leaving company in 8 days. FML.

Just spoke with a guy who considers himself a PC expert.

He: You can always recover your offline data from your PC, even if you burn it.

Me: You just need to remove your hard drive.

He: Even if you remove your hard disk, offline data can be recovered from from RAM memory.

Me: WTF?? * Trying to explain him that RAM is a volatile memory*

He: Yeah but you can recover it from the BIOS.

Me: r u serius right now??

And I can continue, because we've unfortunately talked for about an hour.

Why these people consider themselves experts and why the fuck do they have to teach you things that the don't know. FML

Trying out react. Using npm 3.10

Error make sure you are using the latest version of node and npm

Updates npm to 5.6

It looks like you are using newly released version of npm which is not supported. #FML

You developed a completly free and open source app that was designed to do A, and it does exactly what it should.

Review from an user (2 stars out of 5):
"I tried it and it just does A, I would prefer it did B.
Thank you, but I will look for a better option. Keep working, you have a lot of potential."

fml

Just got picked up for a project. 20,000+ code base, no comments, no docs, variable names like x, xx, xxx, no function name conventions, and a mishmash of Czech, French and English class names.

I thought this job was too good to be true. #fml

*Opens devRant*
*sees everybody saying how great Linux is*
*Tries deepin OS*
*Keyboard backlight not working *
*Searches YouTube for a fix*
*Fixes the Backlight*
*Screen resolution set to 800*600 by defualt (monitor 1920*1080)*
*Grub decides there is no need for a windows entry*
*plugs in Windows USB*
*Opens cmd*
*diskpart*
*list disk*
*sel disk 0*
*list vol*
*sel vol 3*
*clean*
*boots into windows*
*Follows a guide to remove grub*
*Learns the lesson*
*Ooh OS X seems nice*
FML

Before i quit, they brought in a new guy and after i quit the plan was for him to replace me. The man knows next to nothing but hey...i thought i might as well help him since it's not his fault that i'm leaving and why should he suffer for it.
Fast forward to today...he pretends he knows alot, but when faced with actually doing something, he freezes and is incapable of handling a simple task.
After that he proceeds to rage at me because he doesn't think it's fair, that he needs more time (apparently 3 months don't qulify as enough) and that all his woes are somehow my doing.

Fml! Try to help someone...I'm done!

There's a girl in my team : smart, caring , beautiful, I have a huge crush on her. We have rotating oncall policy in team. Next week she's on call, followed by me N2N week. Yesterday she asked me : ARE YOU AFTER ME ? I was going to say : YES !!!! Do you feel the same way ? Then it hit me suddenly 😢, I just said yeah, I am !
fml 😣

Just fml in general

I learned some fun things today!

Fun fact! A lot of things rely on python!
Fun fact! Python relys on a lot of things!
Fun fact! Updating just python and nothing else causes your entire fucking arch to break! ... Wait that's not fun. Shit!

FML.

Opening a documentation page to only find:

// Todo

FML.

This is what the specs for our newest project look like. FML.

Friend asked me to teach him how to hack. FML.

Today friend tells me he bought a $200 course on "Ethical Hacking". Asks if he can translate those skills to "cool hacking" CTRL+C

Finally figured out what FML stands for - apparently it's not "Fix my lighthouse" as urban dictionary suggests... ^^

So I've been exporting a JSON dump of ~120GB for hours and when trying to processing it, and write it to a new file, I wrote to the same file. FML. Hours of export became 0 bytes in no time. Think its time to get some sleep.

So our robotics team just got some code ready and our robots servos are reading hardware fault. Fml

My plan:
1. Draw the logo in paper with black marker
2. Scan with the infamous printer
3. Load in GIMP
4. Edit some parts
5. Put some colors
6. Print or save as image file
7. Use everywhere

As I start to do step 2, I noticed something VERY wrong.

FML

You can kill me for this...
I've one old printer and and I wanted to print some pages. So I did following steps

1. Plugged printers power cable and turned it on.
2. Connected included cable to printer.
3. Opened PDF and tried to print
4. Did step 3 for fucking 20minutes

What went wrong?
I fucking forgot to connect USB cable to my fucking laptop. FML...

So yeah. There is some problem on production. I'm working on it for over a day, and can't make it work. The bad method is 500 lines. The method that calls it is almost 1000 lines and its class is 5k. This is the second one. FML :(

I absolutely hate the way we are taught programming in Indian colleges.

FML #1: I'm pursuing a UG CS course, and this semester, I only had one subject of Computers, that too only 1 credit. The rest with all electronics.

FML #2: In that 1 credit course, we had to make a C++ project which had "data handling". No one cares if you build something cool or not, just that a project should have "extensive use" of data handling.

FML #3: Source code had to be >= 1000 lines. This is the only place where ADDING MORE LINES OF CODES THAN REDUCING IT is appreciated. Had to stuff my code with all kinds of comments and violating the basic principle of DRY.

So, yeah, we're fucked big time. 😥

When I started programming Batch Files I decided to go big and and make an Batch Program with a fully functional UI system. Just when I had finished the first menu I kept getting a "goto was unexpected at this time" or something like that. I did everything I could to see about debugging until I finally cleared my calender and spent the next week debugging. A week of debugging goes by and I see someone coding in color rather then black and white at my school. I walk up to him and ask. "What language is that?" To which he replies "Batch". I asked him how he got Notepad to be in color and he simply pointed to the top left of the screen and it said Notepad++.
I get home later that day and look up "Notepad++" and download the first thing I see. I install the .msi file and I see a language bar at the top of the screen. Set it to batch, and drag my .bat file into the program to see six of my dividers are red bars. I look this up and see there's another spacing option "echo.", I replace my current spacers with this and the whole thing starts working. Fml, that's a week I'm never gonna get back

When your client gives you their logo as a .txt file Fml

Didn't believe it till it happened to me!!
Was talking to a third year student...
Me: What languages can you code in?
Student: HTML, CSS
:/ FML
*facepalm*

At first I thought fml means fuck my life but, it turns out, it means fuck machine learning.

1. Participate in an online hackathon
2. Upload demo video to youtube
3. Submit in the last minute
4. Come back 1 hour later to see video removed due to length violation.

FML :(

Oh the irony: one of the e-banks I use, forces users to type their passwords via virtual on screen keyboard (javascript based!!!) due to security 'standards' yet in the same breath doesn't allow a user to use any other character for password besides the basic alfanum.. o.O fml

When your company hires a third party to develop 2.0 version of your product after doing a proof of concept... Fml

In approximately 9 hours I'm probably going to humiliate myself in a meeting
I was given 5 days to write a sh script.
And guess what..
I still have not started
FML...🤦‍♂️

fml, have to learn java from hello world to fully knowledgable in 14 days :/

I shared public IP of a server to a fellow software engineer. He has ssh login access to that server.

He needs private IP of the same server to run some script.

He is asking me for private IP. Did he really graduate in computer science ?

BTW, his development machine is a Linux machine.

FML.

Accidentally executed "rm -rf /" while typing "rm -rf /mnt/test/" FML.

- be the most productive member in the team and everyone dumps their tasks on you.

- be the laziest person in the team and everyone sees you as a bottleneck.

- be the senior + the laziest person in the team and you can complain about others being a bottleneck and dump your tasks on the most productive member.

fml ( ︶︿︶)_╭∩╮

Boss: how long would it take you to make an app with this tool you have never seen before?
Me: idk, I've never used that.
Boss: OK so how long?
Me:.. Uh.. 3 weeks?
Boss: you got 2 weeks. Start tomorrow.
Me:... OK then..
Inner me: why does he even ask?
...Fml

Working on a project with 2 other students. One of them makes a C# "super class" with 50 fields, and manually creates getters and setters for each and every one. Then he proceeds to write a constructor that accepts 50 parameters, because why not.
I comment on the git commit, telling him that he can just write " get; set; " in C# and that he should model the problem in smaller, more manageable classes ( this class had 270 lines and did everything from displaying data to calculating stuff). Tried to explain to him that OOP works kind of differently from how he did it.
....
His answer: "Yeah, I don't really care. If it works once, it's okay for me".
This after the most beautiful code review I have ever done...

Fml

Don't you just loathe the moment when you are about to paste something you just copied, you have the text to replace all highlighted and shit...
and then you accidentally accidentally hit Ctrl-C instead...

FML

So I just got let go because there was not enough work to keep me full time. Yet my manager was farming out dev work to a 3rd party developer... Fml

My company just announced we are leaving Slack for Google Chat because it is a "superior" (and cheaper) tool.

FML

FUUUU!!!!!! 3h of colleagues work gone in sconds.. & yes, actually it is all my fault, even though I was not aware of being a totall ass at that time..

What happened?! You know the ctrl+s shortcut?! Yes? Weeeell...doesn't go well with oracle sql developer and packages.. o.O

I was totally unavare that I was typing in ctrl+s ctrl+s all the time. I know I do that with c# code.. Anyhow, when I first moved to sql developer from other tool I noticed that compile thingy.. Oooops, ok, let's remove that shortcut to not stab yourself absentmindenly and overwrite other peoples work.. OK that's taken care of, shortcuts removed and I go back to work..

It's been almost 6 months since the move & first incident and today I guess I did the same.. ctrl+s.. But this time I wasn't so lucky.
Coworker pissed off, that is not my procedure. When did you compile?! Someone overwrote my code..
Wasn't me.. Then I started thinking about ctrl+s.. OMFG!! I check this on another package, it compiled. O.o I almost died. I check the shortcuts. They are back! And even after removing them the package still compiled.. FML!! 😭😭😭😭
I removed them again & closed the tool. Reopended.. BACK!! We're back to fuck your life up!! Fuuuuuuu!!

Now I worry wtf else I fucked up without notice.. o.O hopefully not much.. I hope.. O.O boss will kill me...

BTW anyone knows how to really get rid of this feature?! Cuz for me its a bug (since I am buggy and press ctrl+s all the time.. )

I am currently refactoring my code:
1. 200 errors
2. fixed them!!!!
3. build the solution...
4. wait for the build to complete...
5. 300 errors
6. FML

Working on my Lenovo x1 carbon. Akku warning "less then 6%" appears. No problem, I will connect the cable just after I finished this function... "Will shutdown in a view moments" message appears. Ok, I connect the cable. Nothing happens. Maybe power adapter is broken or something more worst. Panic. Try to commit and push as fast as I can (around 2000 LOC from today, made big changes on my project today). While pushing to github laptop powers off. Fuck. Check github on smartphone to see if commits had been pushed. No. I do not have a power adapter for replacement. FML.

I was asked to mentor a new joinee.
As she is new i dont mind the bad code and offer suggestions in code reviews.
She doesn't know how to use .map, .filter and lots of other basic js stuff.
Claims she has completed work on tickets when it's clearly not completed.
I end up looking like an asshole for pointing out her incomplete work before her long leave.
Find out she's actually getting paid significantly more than me as she's an 'experienced frontend dev'.

Fml

6 am, searching for the reason that put the programm in a non-responding state since 4 am. Turns out I forgot to manipulate the count variable in a while loop, so unless the first object wasn't the correct one, it hot stuck.
FML, don't programm when tired

Instant messaging apps are a burden if your client is a b*tch.

Client: hey, I want you to put some more images on this page.
Me: Oh, okay, send them all and I will do. *provides email*
Client: Cool, will do that in an hour.

*closes facebook*

[two hours later, waiting for the email and wondering why I didn't receive it yet]

*opens facebook*
*is greeted by 45 new messages from client*
*opens to see 45 images sent one by one for me to use it on the webpage*

fml

me: boss the server is full, no more disk space

boss: run my cleaning tool

me: it didnt clean anything!

boss: fix my cleaning tool

me: *facepalm* -_-

Boss: -We're firing one of our freelancers and you are taking over one of his projects.
Me: -OK, what is it?
Boss: Old POS project written in Java.
Me: -But I'm C# developer. I haven't touched Java in years!
Boss: -You'll manage...

FML I've managed to finish and fully refactor this piece of shit project.

Disappointed after reading other's code written for same problem which i am writing for
FML
i am so bad programmer 🙃
I wrote almost 200 lines
And he just competed in just few lines with common logic
And i done it but used complex logic
😣😔😞
FML
Closed IDE
Shutting down PC...

Working on some code which relies on a remote api. Then the network speed suddenly drops to 14kbs. FUCKING FUCK FML

One of my hard drives S.M.A.R.T. said it could fail anytime and I should backup my data. I cut all the files to a new hard drive.

Later that week the new drive fails with the needle falling into the magnetic disks... Fml. 

Should've saved those files on the cloud...

Me: develops my first android app with firebase by google.
Me: finishes app, tests it and it works.

Firebase after 3 months: we were first going to scale our servers on our own based on how many people are simultaneously using your app. But now fuck you, we will have a cap of 100000 simultaneous users.

Me: fuck this kills my app if it scales. Have to Shard everything on the db side and overhaul the entire app to work will multiple db instances. Takes a month.

Android after 6 months: dude your app is working fine without any hiccups. Let me fuck it up. We will stop all your services when your app is not running or backgrounded. Also we will make it illegal to start services in this case and we will throw exceptions.

Me: what the actual fuck. They now want me to focus on a JobScheduler, fine... But now even intent services won't work properly. So use a job scheduler to start a JobIntentService which is essentially another job scheduler for queuing. wtf android.

Ps solved it and works again.

PS: WAITING FOR ANDROID TO FML WITH ANOTHER NEW VERSION. Maybe they'll say you can't run your app at all now

3AM manual GRUB fixing is great.

boot-repair? Hangs.

update-grub? Kernel panic (how???)

fml

Just joined a new team at the organisation as senior dev.

Team lead keeps singing about how we need unit testing and good standards.

I implement domain pattern on the backend supported by unit tests.

It passes QA and then get an earful about the code not being 'restful'. What does that even mean?

Well, it matters not since team lead changes the whole feature in the release branch and all unit tests obviously fails. Builds start to fail.

The solution? Comment out all unit tests. In the sprint retro, we hear the same old adage 'we need 80% code coverage'

Do as i say, not as I do. FML.

After 10 days of waiting for my replacement Xbox from microsoft... It never came so I asked Amazon and they sent me a new one with next day delivery. Just received it today... And it's defective.... fml.

Laying in bed with a huge headache while the alpha release is at Sunday (own company) and the main feature isn't even written yet 😫 fml hard.

Today, the security department stopped our new project and told us to work on the last project instead because of a top-secret security flaw.

Problem is, they are not allowed to tell us what the problem is. FML

In an exam today having to read through two pages of writing on paper. So my brain automatically goes "ctrl-f"...then I realise this is real and I have to read the whole thing FML

FML

brought my children to the childcare, went home and I am faced with A FUCKING CLOSED DOOR OF MY HOME WITHOUT ANY KEY and MY COMPANY NOTEBOOK, WALLET AND KEYS INSIDE!!! 😬

was working on a passion project, looking at the clock periodically. was surprised a couple of times that it's still before 12 but kept on working. it wasn't. its 3 am. windows' clock was stuck. i have to get up in 4 hours. fml.

Came into this company as a web dev. Now I have to develop a native iOS app in swift.

FML

That horrible feeling when you have to abandon your small project because litteraly nothing works... Even after 2 straight weeks of work, on a single f***ing function... Fml

Today I managed to break two things:
1. An MSI Radeon R9 390 (GPU)
2. A motherboard.

Fml.. 😔 🔫

Spent the entire day looking into a bug. The problem was a space in the email address, that was stored in the DB. FML

Seeing setups of badass devs
And then realising
How broke you are to buy such kinda shit.

Fml

UI Is the bane of my existence. I'm an embedded programmer i mainly deal with drivers daemons low level stuff no UI involved. why do they keep assigning mobile apps to me man ! #FML

Getting a tour today at my new job (non-dev related, just pays the bills). it's quite a travel AND RIGHT ON THIS FUCKING DAY THE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION PLANNER IS GIVING 500 ERRORS. FUCKING FUCK FML.

client wants the background mirror, so when users visit the website, they can look at themselves.

fml

A moment of silence to all those committed ranters whose swag never came. <fml/>

I finished a story of my sprint in VueJS, which is new to me, with occasional help from colleague A. I put it through to code review, and colleague B refuses to approve it before I rebuild half the codebase of my story to improve it. In a framework I am still very much learning. The sprint ends in two days. There isn't enough coffee for this. Fml. Help.

FML, the day I dreaded has come!
We got a client that is from our country.. meaning they speak what I speak, but I do not type what they read..
I hate writing emails in my native language and with proper grammar.. I haven't done that since I finished with high school and they're full of typos.. Even after spellcheck and grammar check and everything it's faaaaar worse than my English.. fuzck!

Fuck !
FML ... It's 500++ now !

I'm currently traveling to Austria for 11 hours, my laptops battery is empty and this godforsaken train has no power source whatsoever.

I have to finish a project
fml

*During meeting*
C:*smiling while looking at massex.py* 'MasSex' uh! You'd change it before pushing

In my defense it's short for Mass Execution not MasSex
FML

Never again...:

DELETE FROM objects WHERE id - #####;

😳...fml

I call this one the tester than knew too much.

Note: The server the tester is running on has a hard drive that is breaking down...

Tester: Remember the error I talked to you about yesterday?

Me: Yeah, what about it?

Tester: Well the server hasn't recovered yet and I haven't restarted anything...

Me: Well the application itself hasn't crashed so our monitoring application doesn't seem to notice that the service is in a bad state. The error seems only to have brought down certain threads within the application.

Tester: No, I think there is a different issue here and has nothing to do with that error, the application is still doing things.
*tails the log*
Tester: See?

Me: As I said some things are still running and are unaffected by the error.

Tester: NO! It has to be caused by the other error I had a week ago where my file got corrupted. As we said I removed the file, restarted it and it worked again, but had the same problem a day later...

Note: The problem is not related, this time the application is running out of file descriptors

Me: Well... If the problem is the same it would have complained about the file descriptors then aswell, not an I/O error.

Tester: Nope, I think you are wrong!

Me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

FML

Someone thought it would be "funny" to block Amazon today for Prime DAY.

Broke production...

FML

Today, I had a segmentation fault in a data structure, so I wrote a function to test the integrity of the data structure. It worked, and I found and fixed the bug. However, the test still complained about the integrity. After debugging some very strange errors for 5 hours, I discover that there was a bug in the integrity test. The data structure works just fine. FML.

Fick fick fick..
Fml.

[Working on a Project]
- Added a few lines for log display to end user
- Breaks everything
- Spent an hour trying to resolve issue, fails
- Commented those lines
- Everything starts working again
- Uncommented those lines
- Everything still works

FML!

A client just asked to reduce the budget on a project, which I have already delivered. fml. Also, I had a look at wakatime, and realised that I've spent over 100 hours on this project.

Damn, I get more upvotes here than my stack overflow.

fml :/

The sales team sold a project using our 'innovative framework', which had 'prebuilt components', which we 'only needed to plug n play' with a 10 week deadline. Of course, the framework didn't exist. Guess who was the lucky guy who had to create the framework AND finish the project in 10 weeks? fml...

When you test/debug every piece of code you made/changed and then find out the rest wasn't working as it should.. FML

Test everything, trust noone!!!!!!
Rewrite all!!

Corrected someone's grammar in a group chat. Now he wants a fight at the end of the day.
:/
FML

Trying to develop an application to post rants about boss with a colleague for over a year. Today, found DevRant while finding a solution to build error. Don't know if I should bother with our application now. FML!

When the test database has better specifications & performance than the production one.. FML! 😭😭😭😭😭

It's 1:00( 1 am) here now...I wanted to get some coding done since 20:00(8 pm for the weird people ;P)
Got distracted by Dev rant all the time -.- and didn't write a single line of code...fml

Messed up my sleep cycle again! Its 5:30 pm here and I have just woken up. Now the night is going to pass by coding runs, gaming streaks and perhaps a movie. In the morning again I have to be at the office to work. Will have to stay awake for 30 hours or so. FML!

Fml
I went to a client and forgot my laptop.
Called my boss to send me the file I needed just to realize 1 hour later that I had web access to the repo and could have download myself.

It looks like it will be a promessing day 😑

Have to finish this code today but only slept four hours last night, coffee isn't working anymore, making the most stupid mistakes and constantly dreaming away while looking at my screen because I can't focus anymore. Also, it's around 25 degrees here and the vents aren't working that great... fml.

*ranting around saying fml*
ya know, you can't say FML without actually having a life

Came from C/C++... Thought i was prepared for assembly... fml

Being a computer science engineer, my friends expect me to be able to read binary like I read English. Fml.

That moment when you browse github repos to contribute but then you realize the APIs are way more advanced than you're coding skills. #fml

Forgot to change code in my api for rate limiting, after development. No unit tests.. because who really needs that right? 🤦‍♂️🙅‍♂️🤷‍♂️lolololol

Long story short, API went to production eventually, and stopped working almost immediately. Rate limiting was set for 2000 requests in a 1 hour time period. Not my finest moment.. fml 🤦‍♂️

The moment when you fall down on yoir own in the middle of the street and people laughing at you quietly... (fml)

Sometimes I use "KillMe" or "FML" in my debugging strings as a silent cry against whatever-the-fuck has upset me.

Today I tried to find out why the constructor of my class wasn't called. After 2 hours I found out, that it was named "__constructor" and not "__construct"... I feel so dumb right now. FML

Spent 4h+ debugging my code (it was late)...only to realise that my code was not buggy, but the fuckup in design was in the original part I didn't change..FML..

I made sure to commit all changes (from my desktop) before leaving my home for the weekend so I can continue my project at the parents house (going for a monthly visit)..

I arrived, synced all my changes to my laptop, all good and well, going perfect. Updated the bower components etc. Time to start some test runs so I started my localhost, opened my browser,..Ended up with a MySQL errors galore.. Unknown table this and that.. I forgot the export my MySQL database :'( #fml

Just started my exams training! (Doing a study called Application Development).

The application doesn't sound that complicated but I have to implement a data exporting feature. Sounds alright, doesn't it?

THE 'CLIENT' DOES NOT KNOW WHAT DATA FORMAT THE FICTIVE CUSTOMERS CAN PARSE/HANDLE BUT I HAVE TO MAKE IT GENERIC SO THAT THEY CAN USE IT ANYWAYS. HOW THE FUCKING FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT FUCKING FORMAT I SHOULD CHOOSE?!? SHOULD I TRY TO SMELL IT OR SOMETHING?

FML.

Buys a new 24in QHD display.
Runs for 16 days
Backlight is kaput.

FML.

Product manager calls me at 7 PM. "There's gonna be a slight change in the module. You can reuse lot of existing code and I'm sure it won't take much for you to finish. "

Me: Okay, let me take a look at it tomorrow morning.

The next day I saw the spec change.

One and half weeks later, I'm still doing the change.

#FML

Sittning on a train home drunk a f right now. Only thing I can think of is the interview I got on monday. Fml. Shouldnt rant while im drunk. God save the queeen.

When you ask your infrastructure admins for a firewall rule and you are very specific. They say that you don't need it... you troubleshoot for 2 hours then argue with them for 5 hours. Then they add the rule and it works. I want to punch someone right now and have a beer. FML!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the happy moment when you get turned down by agencies over the phone, when they "don't think you are what they are looking for" although you have 4 years commercial experience and are 23 years old, by an agent that fancies the term API and WordPress... fml

I am working as a junior in a company that pays me minimum wage and doesn't give a single fuck about my existence.
"Change the job", you say?
Well, that's what I am trying to do for, like, 3rd month now. No one wants to invest into junior...

Every day I go to work with thoughts about quitting, but I need a job... Even if it's like this...

fml.
F
M
L

<rant>
I don't know what FML means, and at this point I'm too afraid to ask
</rant>

We are not ready, I won't sign on this shit I said!

Release on Friday, what could go wrong? All unit tests passed they said!

It's Tuesday and shit is still broken!

FML

So, a close relative of me is a local politician in my hometown.
I managed his political website for a while but then I completely left it in the hand to who deal whit is PR.

Today he emailed me to update only the header photo. No big deal.

After a bit of scrambling I find what I used when I made that.

FML I hate me of the past

Been a tough year, perpetual crunch since March.

Leadership team sent themselves to re:Invent to blow off some steam. Devs couldn't go because we're still too deep in the shit on the product.

Already getting pings about migrating everything to whatever-the-fuck just got released by AWS.

fml, Dilbert used to be funny now it can't keep up with half the shit we pull.

In my shitty country they are going to cut off internet connexion which is usually slow af because of a fucking international exam I don't know how the fuck they approved this
Fuck this asshole country FML
I want to get out of here so bad

Spend two days struggling with environment variables not being available in python script running on a docker container, tried providing environment variables directly, not working, tried providing a env file, not working
.
.
.
Turns out I was passing variables to the wrong container fml

Fuck fuck fuck! Vps doesn't boot after kernel update and has kernel panic..... Fml

I'm a Linux guy, but for some goddamn reason I work in sound. Which means I need vst plugins and windows. EVERY FUCKING TIME WINDOWS OVERWRITES MY DARN LINUX PARTITION just enough that I can't recover it AND THEN FUCKS UP THE BOOTLOADER THAT I CAN'T EVEN BOOT Windows. Whyyyyyyy? I just want to work or play a game but now I'm stuck fixing bootloaders and corrupt partitions...... Fml

Fml
Friday: I just finished a project with someone and I went and told my boss that I'm done with this some other work can be allotted to me. He told me that I can start working on another project with another guy. This guy told me that we'll have to start working from tomorrow.
I was mentally taken aback because I thought Saturday's are holidays. And I had a feeling that maybe Saturdays are working but I wasn't just showing up(sidenote: I'm an unpaid intern here who started a month back). So I asked him one more time whether I should come tomorrow. He replied with a ya.
Saturday: I get ready take a cab to office only to realize that Saturday's are not working and what he understood from my 'tomorrow' was Monday.

Just upgraded to a pending windows update.

Worst decision of my life.

#fml

Rant?
So... I've been to the doctor's, I have a high blood pressure (I'm only 30 ffs).
She says I'm too grumpy, over thinking and should loose weight.

FML I'm gonna die young... At least the wife will get my life insurance...

Just got picked in a national “lottery” for mandatory military training for a year. And I moved to another city more than half a year before, got a very good job. Fml. Europe at that

deleted 150 lines of code that made up a 2d vector class today fml 😭

Only 25 days left to get my Fanatic gold badge in stackoverflow and my browser decides to open up the new window instead of the old one with all my pinned tabs in it... So I forget to log into stack overflow for a day resulting in me going back to 99 days of everyday visiting the site until I get my Fanatic badge... I feel so fucking depressed FML

fml 😧

Company with CULTURE
Company who doesnt allow tech team to WFH but editorial team is fine (or sales)

Sonos playing ALL DAY, and sales team talking all day, next to tech team desk

Dont u love open space offices?

Fuck this
FML

Today my 2 week old phone slips out of my pocket while standing up, falls on the screen and now it's cracked in multiple places. FML.

RIP Stormtrooper (he's black and white).

Repair is 30% of the new price. Worth it, but still a lot of money and 10 days without the phone.

Aaarghhhh!

So I went to some meetup with my boss.
Suddenly some old friend of mine shows up, and we start talking..
- „Where do you work now?“
„$company in $city“
- „And.. Do you like it there?“
„Now way, I hate my job.. Too many idiots around!“

The thing is: My boss was right behind me all the time and heard everything..

FML!

I'm just wondering how many developers is tire of people asking them to build a complete custom site in WordPress. And when you tell them "hey Fucker it would be faster and work better if we just build this cms from scratch" but the client won't budge they want fucking WordPress no matter what...

Just realized I don't have a good social life outside home/college. Most of the time I spend time with my laptop and phone.
And at this moment am too afraid to socialize because my friends and family been doubting at my mental stability after seeing me talking to my PC.
Its been ages since I have played any games outside or hang around with friends. Sometimes I do hate the way I am now and want to ditch all these screens once and go gipsy around the world. Fml!!

ordered a new laptop bag, tracking said it was delivered Sunday, but fucking USPS forgot to put the parcel locker key in my mailbox. fml. I just want my bag.

Relative phones up worried about installing Adblocker as it "can store and modify the websites you visit"...my answer.."so can GCHQ, NSA AND CIA so just give in to the fact that you have no privacy and click ok"...*long pause*.."ok one more question, what's a chrome extension?"..FML

When someone put up a suggestion with the words 'GIF animation' and 'Actionscript' in the same sentence, I felt something in me just died. Along with whatever interest I have in this dev meeting.

Tomorrow starts a new guy in my team (I am TL), but I have never seen him before! 😕

A coworker resigned during the hiring process and has had his last day today and I am overtaking his team because my boss is unable to set up a job profile.

180% of workload and even more new guys arriving (2 more in the next 2 months!)

No salary raise either...

FML

How does it feel to get out of a project after investing a year of your life in it and then having it shelved? FML..........

I spent most of a day a few weeks ago tracking down and fixing a NaN bug in a framework I use. I hacked it into my local copy of the framework's code.

Today I have the same bug, and after several hours of searching I finally realize I'd updated to a new version of said framework and so had overwritten my fix....

FML

Working for one of our oldest customer, in some serious old, ugly and outdated code(web service).
The dev db doesn't contain any relevant data.
The QA service points to production, so can't use it for any tests.
My contact, at the customer, is going on vacation tomorrow.
Their pm is going on vacation next Friday.
No time for refactoring, db data updates or otherwise do important and much needed updates.
They want it to be done yesterday.

FML.

It is so awesome that one has made a youtube tutorial about my programming language =D

!fml

I recently moved to another apartment. The technician who was going to install the internet connection on Saturday couldn't make it because apparently you hace to ask for permission with 48hrs of anticipationwith the administrator of the apartment complex. So all weekend with no internet I felt like a fucking caveman FML.

Daaamn! I needed to process some data simultaneously using PHP, so I thought of using Threads to make things faster, checked out SO and discovered that the available Thread class can only be used in cli environment not on a web server ... FML 😑.
It's like these moments that I remember why I hate PHP, and regret accepting this job.

I miss Java 😣😣

fml

!dev

FUUUU*K, I lost my wallet today with a ton of important cards inside.. F**K F**K F**K FML

Note of the day: A wallet is as important as a smartphone is!

I forgot to enable health check on one of the endpoints.

FML

Teacher asks me to join him for a web app development.

First stages, I have to dig deep into a framework I don't know (He doesn't know it too, and I know that learning is the only way to step through)

Month goes by, began developing some mock-ups, he says he didn't like it, sends me a website made in fucking Wix. Seriously?

Fast forward another month, tonight I'm coding some stuff, he stills doesn't know how to fucking use Yii. fml

Can't sleep, thinking about this side project I'm going to start tomorrow.

Which is probably going to last for about 2 days or 3 days, after that it will be a inactive repository, like every other side project.

FML

Using WhatsApp beta,
Got a update today , I installed

Saw my contacts, it said "No contacts" invite friend.
Iam like WTF ,what happened to my contacts!?
It's gone.

Now iam thinking on the developer ,who pushed this update!
#FML

Aaaah FUUUUUUCK!!!!!

As if I had nothing better to not nor deadlines I went on a mission to tweek my i3-wm installation with resulted in lightdm not starting... FML

We have a list of 1.5k different dependencies for various projects. And they wanted to check if each of those deps has been approved by the management.
They have no way to automate this. (I believe there is always a way to automate any fucking thing but my pm says there is no way)
And no employee in the company was keen to do this task so they decided to give it to interns.

Now I am sitting on my table, copying each and every dep, pasting in the browser (on their portal ) and noting down if it's approved. If it's not, I have to note the latest version that had been approved.

I have been doing this from morning. 400 done. 1000 to go.

fml

That moment when something goes wrong in the server for the first time at 3AM, your last manual backup was 5 hours ago and you stay up until 7AM to rollback and also setup incremental backups every 15 minutes... FML xD

My Neural Network is learning more from its past mistakes than me. Fml

I had a dream that I was parsing a huge chunk of JSON. #fml

Today's my company's official final day with Slack.

Starting tomorrow it's nothing but the "superior" Google Chat. I will have no choice but to join the others who have already migrated over.

FML

It also mean I won't have any access to messaging outside the office because I don't want to accept the security certs on my phone.

Today I found out we have 5 different Customer databases, one for each product area. We don't have access to more than 2 of them, while corp. it central has full access, but we have to beg and pay to see our own customers....
Now i'm tasked with integrating all these into a Customer db. and the way i get access is cobolt made, fixed length csv files and it's different for each db.
FML

So we have this project that we are hosting on our testing server for presentation purposes ( already provisioning prod server ).

Our boss was presenting it to investors and my superior committed a bug there and was asking me help to figure out how to fix it (yeah.. he doesn't know how to checkout last commits in git... fml), and I realised the presentation might still be going on... so I asked: isn't boss showing it to investors?

superior: lol, idk maybe.

me: right... ( I proceed to roll back changes ) bye, have a good lunch.

And here I am having lunch considering my life choices.

The worst part of collecting crash reports is that the application crashes the whole system so the report won't be sent. Fml

Yet another ticket comes in about a feature not working after we push another update. So in my meeting I bring up adding testing would reduce this. Yeah boss just wants me to fix this issue and just do manual tests....fml

It's like I know staying up all night is gonna kill me the next day, and I do it anyways... and now it's the next day. Fml 😫

When you wonder why it doesn’t work put print statements all over the code, because you want to find the error, but no print Statement works even if it just should print test...

Fml

So I've recently hurt ring finger of my left hand and now I'm typing shit while coding. Like I've to retype nearly every word or literal that has S W or X in it. FML

6 hours of debugging... Just to find a missing semicolon. fml.

story:
reading thru devRant.
see lots of #fml stories.
think: these are fml-worthy?
fml.

SVN sucks a Lot. Why the fuck people still using this shit instead of git? FML

So I was working on a Web Assembly project and when I ran my build chain everything compiled fine, when I would run it however, I'de get random exception when I changed things like a value of a float. After 3 hours I realized the build chain had been "finished" while it was actually still writing out a file, and when I was accessing the web page, the file was corrupt for the first 30 seconds or so. Spent so long trying to fix something that actually wasn't broken FML.

when you're struggling to build small sized firmware on your 512Kb IoT Device resulting in bootloop every time... Then you see in the manual, that you have the 4Mb model and you frashed the rom to the wrong memory address for 2 weeks resulting in a bootloop... FML

who's so stressed out right now? me.

why? i need to change the access token in my code because it was changed

why is that stressful? because there is no variable for it, it was hardcoded

who coded that? me.

when? when the whole dev team was drunk asf

fml