24
Condor
6y

WANKETEERING FUCKING CUNTS!!!!!

Just now I had this great incident with rosé wine hitting my couch (on a Monday, yet another reason to hate that fucking shit day). If that is you dear Google searcher, let me tell you this. GRAB YOUR FUCKING SALT, AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN AND POUR IT ON THERE IMMEDIATELY!!!

(edit: seems to work quite well for sucking up the wine moisture, not sure about smell or discoloration.. so far so good)

At least that's what a wanketeering cunt told me after having me read through 5 minutes of their dribble. While the motherfucker explicitly mentions that you're on a time limit, mind you!!! Because you know, fuck your goddamn couch, I want that fraction of a cent in ad money, that oh you've blocked it? I have no fucking idea. But waste your time on my shitsite nonetheless!!!

You know what, marketeering motherfucking dickhead. If that salt isn't going to fix my goddamn fucking couch, how about I take your goddamn shitsite down for the next FUCKING MONTH, HUH?!! Just to make up for the hundreds of fucking euros that a motherfucking couch is worth?! That'll serve you fucking right for pissing off a hacker!!! MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

Comments
  • 11
    I could literally feel fire coming off of ny phone screen while reading this.

    P.S. I hope your couch gets better.
  • 2
    @kitsune thanks! And yeah I often tend to rant like this when I'm pissed off.. for better or worse, haha.
  • 10
    > rosé Wine

    I expected better from you
    Unsub
  • 3
    @Linux :/ I have to save money for ordering a new hot air station, so yeah.. cheapest of the cheapest that can get me drunk and not taste like shit now. Preferably without sacrificing any couches or servers or devRant accounts of course.
  • 2
    So did it clean?
  • 3
    @cursee no idea to be honest, I'm just letting it chooch for now.. but so far it seems to be going well. I guess that I'll check again this evening. I'm mostly worried about smell rather than discoloration.. the couch has got a fabric condom around it after all, of course black to match the rest of my interior (and my personality). So discoloration.. who cares, I'm not selling this thing anyway, and I'm never looking at it directly. But smell and moisture would be a pain in the ass to deal with.
  • 3
    @Condor place a chunk of charcoal around? Charcoal is pretty good at sucking smell I heard.
  • 4
    @Condor you could probably use some baking soda. They're excellent odor absorbers. Put some in a mason jar and seal it with a scrap cloth or paper and poke little holes. Keep it nearby or under the couch. Charcoal works too I think.
  • 2
    Red wine on the couch...
    Lucky you it isn't white, red wine is so good at sticking to stuff it was used to taint clothes red.
    Good luck with that... If it shows to much you can buy a cover...
  • 6
    @GyroGearloose or buy more red wine to turn the couch red 🤔
  • 3
    @cursee Sperm also discolors... learned that the hard way (bought a cover for that lol)
  • 2
    @GyroGearloose oh time to creative
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