Best non-technical description of why we hate to post in forums (shamelessly copied from Shamus Youngs blog found here: http://shamusyoung.com/twentysidedt...) ->

ALLEN: Hi, I’m new to driving and I need to move my car back around 5 meters. How can I move the car backwards?

(2 days later.)

ALLEN: Hello? This is still a problem. I’m sure someone knows how to do this.

BOB: I can’t believe you didn’t figure this out yourself. Just take your foot off the gas and let the car roll backwards down the hill. Tap the bake when you get to where you want to be. Boom. Done.

ALLEN: But I’m not on a hill. I’m in my driveway and it’s completely flat.

CARL: Dude, I don’t know what you’re trying to accomplish, but you should never be driving backwards. It’s dangerous and will confuse the other drivers. See the big window in FRONT of you? That’s your first clue. Don’t drive backwards.

ALLEN: I’m not trying to drive backwards. I just need to move back a little bit so I can get out of my driveway and start driving forwards.

CARL: So just drive in circle until you’re pointed the right way.

ALLEN: I don’t have enough room to turn around like that. I only need to move back a few meters. I don’t understand why this has to be so hard.

CARL: Sounds like your “driveway” isn’t compatible with cars. It’s probably made for bikes. Call a contractor and have them convert some of your yard into driveway to be standards-compliant with the turning radius of a car. Either way, you’re doing something wrong.

DAVE: I see your problem. You can adjust your car to move backwards by using the shifter. It’s a stick located right between the passenger and driver seats. Apply the clutch and move the stick to the “R” position.

ALLEN: But.. I don’t have a clutch. And there isn’t a stick between the seats.

CARL: Sounds like you’re trying to drive in Europe or something.

ALLEN: Ah. Nevermind. I figured it out.

  • 12
    I love how they changed Alice to Allen, to avoid having the woman have the driving problem, and the men explaining to her how to do it.
  • 6
    yes! a funny story with source! thank you
  • 7
    don't forget the tangents that go on in forums: "yeah I have exactly the same problem. my bike won't brake. however this solution doesn't work for me help help"
  • 3
    This is brilliant!! I'm so stealing this.

    It perfectly sums up the army of arseholes you meet *SOME* forums. I saw one comment on a forum once that said "you shouldn't be coding if you don't have a computer science degree".
  • 1
    @dfox, could we arrange for Shamus Young himself to get stickers/stressball or whatever this rant ends up amounting to?
  • 2
    And here I am wondering how did @siljamicke manage to put all that into devRant!? I mean it sure looks like more than a 1000 characters!
  • 3
    @codeRetard I used the devRant API
  • 0
    343 words not sure how many characters but the average word length is higher than 3
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