did you know people are supposed to get better at things they do the more they do them...

I hope so, that's kind of the point. But it also depends if you're a reasoning model or not. Some people learn but do not reason.

Yes jestdotty, I think everybody knows that.

@Lensflare I don't tho

@whimsical I think that's best tho. to learn and have no reason

intuitive action is far superior in performance than actions you have to think about. bf is highly into competitive sports and games and all the greats the game becomes second nature to them and the ultra fast intuitive processing is why they get so good, adapt so good on the fly, to their opponents, etc

... kind of why I hated that programmer interviewing process. of whiteboard and you have to explain everything. they say they judge you on your thought process but by the time whiteboard interviews were being told to me I had already learned to reason about programs intuitively and without thought... I have no clue how to explain it to another person. I thought that whole thing would've been a fad but instead it became industry standard. which is a little funny considering how much programmers now tell me I talk too much. not that I lack the ability to think and explain but because when you get good it's intuitive...

@Lensflare being sick I was so bad I couldn't read and understand what I read. couldn't even pay attention to speech most of the time

crazy sad state of affairs because me all my life I just had to hear a piece of information one time, not even paying full attention to it, and I'd remember it forever. and suddenly here I am I can't even pay attention to 4th grade English spoken by a political commentator, much less know the implications of what they were saying anymore. and forget ever remembering what I heard. it took me 3 years before I could remember the bus number on the bus stop I just passed... 5 seconds after I walked past the bus stop without double checking. the amount of despair from that I cannot fully communicate probably. doctors said I was too young for brain issues and dismissed me

I need to learn new things rn and it seems it's actually difficult for me. but if I need to program it just flows out of me, because it's so reflexive

I don't feel I'm getting better tho

@jestdotty

> I don't tho

Now you do.
(Assuming you were referring to the knowing part, not the thinking part)

@jestdotty

> I don't feel I'm getting better tho

Ditch js and switch to a real programming language.

Work with others.
Learn from their mistakes. Incorporate their good ideas into your style.

Get an idea of what makes code readable.
Make others read your code and give you feedback.
Read the other dev’s code.

@Lensflare no I still don't. I was reading some sports books and confidence books and it's their opinion you got better the more you do something

and when reading that I realized "right, that's how that's supposed to work"

but currently it doesn't work that way for me. every day I wake up like amnesia. I forget what I learned, which just makes me frustrated and depressed if I run into that thing again. I already did it once but now I do it again like I never did it. what's the point then? I feel stuck because my biology just isn't working with me. instead I'm just committing emotional abuse on myself by trying

@Lensflare lol I already know how to program. such lame advice no less. I disagree with that list so much. that would slow you down lol. those were MISTAKES I made when I was learning to code!

@Lensflare it is sweet now you're being all encouraging though

I can see your advice being good if someone lacks confidence and wants others to support them. but for me I trusted the computer far more than people. I have issues with people. I find them to be largely self-serving. even talking to teachers they assume software works in ways it doesn't, cuz it's easier to assume. listening to a co worker I rather look at the code than their opinion of how the code must work. the code is the actual authority, without rumour or misunderstanding or any telephone games or myths. the amount of times I took architect documents and rewrote them because they were inaccurate 😩. nobody appreciates that though. nobody values accuracy. it's just a pet peeve of mine tho. something I definitely wasted lots of thankless time on, ragh, like everything conscience goes lmao

@jestdotty I‘m not telling you how to program but how to get better.

And based on your answer, you need that advice much more than you think.

@jestdotty the code is more than just something that makes things work according to a specification.
It‘s also a language which translates human intent into machine work.

If you ignore the human part, you are nothing more than a code monkey.
Being a dev and/or an engineer requires more.

@Lensflare I already know how to program 🙄

now you're back to being rude

-

I hate using GUI tools. Im trying to learn a game engine and how to make games. I did used to draw a lot growing up but I switched to computer note taking in computer science and stopped sketching. I did pixel art for a while but not a lot

now I have to learn and get in the groove in making lots of pixel art. I hate using GUI tools - like I refused to even learn Photoshop. game engines are also annoying, I'm bothered by their GUIs. I hate setting up stuff in dialogue boxes. also where those boxes appear always irritates me

I did go through a phase where I learned how music is made and made my own music making library. I think this is the weakest for me though. I'll have to find some way to add sound to the game

I did read a bunch of books growing up, but I didn't write anything more than one-shot stories on internet as a kid. so that could be better too

and ofc no experience in "gameplay" architecture

@Lensflare I really don't know why you seem to think I can't program. like are you being racist or something

I got called literally perfect so many times. do you think everyone is insecure about their programming or something

damned contractors were given code by me and claimed it was the most beautiful thing they ever saw completely unprompted lol

I have no insecurity about the matter lol

both my parents were physicists who picked up programming easy peasy. I have the exact same mind. I get such a bonus. physicists are known to pick up programming really easy

hell veterans of programming languages and logic games would look at my college code and suggest I go learn haskell lmao. that guy in particular I have on steam and he plays all the logic puzzle games to 100% completion like a neurotic. I'm not so autistic and I'm not into that stuff because I rather actually build something, but I do not lack skill or talent (or at least didn't, my recent brain issues aside)

@Lensflare I got Asian veterans from Japanese companies writing "very smart" on reviews of me on linkedin lol, telling me I have wonderful careers ahead of me because I'm so strong in debugging (aka I can read code. I really don't care how you write it)

damned NASA ML engineers think I'm far above them lol. I dated this guy and this was a point of contention between us. cuz I kept asking him questions he couldn't answer and it would annoy the heck out of me, and stress him out because hey turns out NASA engineers are all about politics and showmanship and not actual knowledge (secret reveal)

like how am I gonna be insecure lol

@Lensflare hell I kept getting kicked out of programming discord servers _because I kept answering people's questions_. can you imagine how wild that is. literally how am I going to be insecure lmao. there were channels for people to ask questions and the mods would say "no you did it wrong do it this other way" or claim the user did something bad or something is impossible. and I would answer the question instead. because their question was not impossible. I knew 4-7 different ways to achieve what they were going for. I didn't even know I was interrupting mods. but then they all turned on me cuz I kept making them look bad. I literally am incapable of feeling insecure. I am far too nerdy, and have far too many issues from literally being too competent for my own good when it comes to this stuff. like how can I possibly be insecure lol

you're barking up a retarded tree

now if only I ever got paid for my competence. competence doesn't get you anything though. perception does

@Lensflare lol I made energetic and active, wonderfully friendly architects blush by pointing out logic mistakes in their designs when they were first presenting them to me to tell me what they wanted the software to do. whoopsie

the #1 complaint of engineers I worked with was I should've made estimates for code in days... not hours... when the manager asked me for estimates I thought I was gonna be the one doing the tickets. turns out she wanted estimates for the other programmers... mind you who all had 20+ years of experience. I had 1-2 years of experience by then. I tripled the estimates but even then I STILL felt really bad about that. they never asked me to estimate again. I am pretty sure that was still too stressful for others I just didn't have a good estimate of other people

seriously how am I gonna be insecure lol

@Lensflare oh God

I once had to witness a system architect get yelled at for 2 hours because he estimated something would take me 2 weeks to write and instead I did it in 3 days

I felt so fucking bad

ofc nobody recognized that I was dope. the architect simply got in trouble

seriously how am I supposed to be insecure. my competence is literally my shame. I don't want anyone to get yelled at because I "stood out". it hurts my conscience that my existence causes such problems. and I can't just be there and arrogantly say "well I'm just so good" because that causes another set of problems

@Lensflare when I was a kid, I don't really get along with many people cuz I find them boring, but I really liked this girl. she was from a poor single mom family, and her mom had actual religious psychosis and etc. but me and her got along. I think she must've been really smart or something. she memorized all of Eminem's songs and sang them like a radio. she could write 60 pages of perfectly rhyming poetry, all of it making sense. pure talent

she drew something and I copied it. mine was better. I made her cry. I never wanted to do that to another human being again. that was not my intention. I feel like a bull in a china shop that doesn't know its own strength

-

at any rate this whole programming thing isn't related to something new. seems I can still program despite the brain issues because it's just reflexive somehow, I guess cuz I had practiced it so much

Wow dotty, you literally sound like Awesomemeest ATM. Literally. Wow.

@jestdotty fucking hell, stop the walls of text. I don’t care about your biography.

You said you‘re not getting better at programming.
I gave you advice how to get better.

You keep repeating that you already know how to program.

So annoying.

@whimsical duhhh 😏

why do you think she saw so much of herself in me 🥺

it's ok tho I hate status. I'm also very lazy. I don't do things without a definite, material reward. too cynical especially now. need to fix that somehow so I can actually live, fuk

@Lensflare I did not say I'm not getting better at programming. I have mentioned multiple times how programming is irrationally addicting to me though (though not directly) 🙄

@jestdotty that is basically her pickup line as a narcissist. She was to me like `Oh, I consider you and some guy that never finished a project as my only peers because I am great and you are great`. That is literally in the narcissist playbook. But at a certain moment she starts becoming evil.

If she saw herself in you, I can not imagine a worse compliment. She is on the top of my evil people list.

@jestdotty that is basically her pickup line as a narcissist. She was to me like `Oh, I consider you and some guy that never finished a project as my only peers because I am great and you are great`. That is literally in the narcissist playbook. But at a certain moment she starts becoming evil.

If she saw herself in you, I can not imagine a worse compliment. She is on the top of my evil people list.

@jestdotty

> but if I need to program it just flows out of me, because it's so reflexive
> I don't feel I'm getting better tho

I guess I misunderstood you then

@whimsical ehh narcissism is a skill like any other. I think I failed at my life cuz I didn't bother to learn whatever the hell they're good at. so many times they win and I lose so I must be doing something wrong and they must be doing something right. I'm not too good to get better

That's the idea, yes... unless you keep trying the same thing over && over again, expecting different results... https://devrant.molodetz.nl/preview... .

"Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity?".

@D-4got10-01 ah when a villain is good and the writing entertaining

skrillex weed burning moment peak gaming