A story about how a busy programmer became responsible for training interns.

So I was put in charge of a team of interns and had to teach them to work with Linux, coding (Bash, Python and JS) and networking overall.
None of the interns had any technical experience, skills, knowledge or talent.
Furthermore the task came to me as a surprise and I didn't have any training plan nor the time.

Case 0:
Intern is asked to connect to a VM, see which interfaces there are and bring up the one that's down (eth1). He shuts eth0 down and is immediately disconnected from the machine, being unable to connect remotely.

Case 1:
Intern researches Bash scripting via a weird android app and after a hour or so creates and runs this function: test(){test|test&}
He fork-bombed the VM all other interns used.

Case 2:
All interns used the same VM despite the fact that I created one for each.
They saved the same ssh address in Putty while giving it different names.

Case 3:
After explicitly explaining and demonstrating to the interns how to connect to their own VMs they all connect to the same machine and attempt to create file systems, map them and etc. One intern keeps running "shutdown -r" in order to test the delay flag, which he never even included.

Case 4:
All of the interns still somehow connect to the same VM despite me manually configuring their Putty "favorites". Apparently they copy-paste a dns that one of them sent to the entire team via mail. He also learned about the wall command and keeps scaring his team members with fake warnings. A female intern actually asked me "how does the screen knows what I look like?!". This after she got a wall message telling her to eat less because she gained weight.

Case 5:
The most motivated intern ran "rm -rf" from his /etc directory.
P.S. All other interns got disconnected because they still keep using his VM.

Case 6:
While giving them a presentation about cryptography and explaining how SSH (that they've been using for the past two weeks) works an intern asked "So is this like Gmail?".
I gave him the benefit of the doubt and asked if he meant the authorization process. He replied with a stupid smile "No! I mean that it can send things!".

FML. I have a huge project to finish and have to babysit these art majors who decided to earn "ezy cash many" in hightech.

Adventures will be continued.

Had to debug an issue,

*ssh user@domain*
"some wild network connection issue"
*hmm weird.. *
*checks everything again*
*hmm seems alright.. *
*tries again*
*same damn error*
*ssh -v user@domain*
*syntax error thingy on the -v part*
😮
*messages co-worker asking what the fuck could be giving on*
"ey mate check your aliases 😂"
*alias"
"alias ssh="echo {insert network connection issue"*

*loud laughing from the co-worker I messaged*

MOTHERFUCKER 😆

Ran into a devRant user at a random bar in NYC last night. Super cool meeting you in the wild!

Javascript is wild

*talking to a customer on the phone*
*tries to switch to the next virtual desktop for a terminal*

*BAM BLACK SCREEN*

😶😐😓

*wild Linux mint logo appears*
*computer reboots*

*realize that I pressed ctrl+alt+delete*

😅🤣

*explains honestly to colleagues and client*

Both found it funny and laughed, luckily 😆

A client asked me to do a website completely vanilla instead of using frameworks and libraries. Then asked why the quote is so much more. Is this a good analogy?

Using frameworks and libraries is like you going to the grocery store to buy eggs.

Making a website from scratch is like going into the wild to capture hens, building an enclosure, and caring for the hens at least until they lay eggs.

*Battle music*
Wild customer appeared!

dev used Ubuntu

It's not very effective...

Foe customer used Stupid Feature-Request

It's super effective!

dev is confused!

dev hurt itself in its confusion!

dev used Reasoning

dev's attack missed!

Foe customer used Ridiculous Feature-Request

It's super effective!

dev used Rage Quit

dev fled using its Rage Quit

...

Had this a few days ago. You know how we all have our reflexes?

Client emailed that a few sites weren't working. I always, always look at the links but that's slowly eradicating because it becomes an automated thing.

Sound was on (only headphones luckily).

*clicks link*

*wild webpage (literally) with webcam girls/shows renders and starts playing sound*
😕
😐 😰 😱 😵 😆 😅

My reflexes then made me go "FUCK FUCK FUCK HOLD ON CRAP FUCKING FUUUUUCK" (you can also take that literally in this context, yes) aaaaaand I somehow automatically closed the whole browser with ctrl+q.

*looks around to see if anyone noticed*

*wipes sweat off forehead*

That went alright 😅

Just found out the backend developer I’m always complaining about. The one who:

- Can’t implement OAuth, and we have to have app users login every 24 hours because we have no way to generate new refresh tokens.

- Who used the phrase “your time zone is not my concern” to avoid building something that would let us inject test data.

- Who’s been debugging a critical bug affecting many users since December.

- Who can’t conduct API tests from external internet (you know, like the way the app will be in the wild) because it takes too much time.

- Who replies to Jira tickets only on a blue moon.

- Who has been 90% of the reason for my blood pressure situation

... is a fucking principal engineer in this company. In pecking order, his opinion should be considered more valuable than mine and everyone on my team.

I’ve just lost the will to live. How are big organizations THIS bad. Seriously, what promotion discussion did he go into

“So, you are a complete and utter bastard, nobody can stand to speak to you and you’ve yet to deliver anything of worth that actually works, over the course of several years ... ... ... interested in having your pay doubled??”

Before starting to work. Puts on earphones and starts listening music, while working wild error appears, pauses music to concentrate on fixing error.

Day passes earphone on but no music playing.
Happens every time.

Watching a video, when suddenly... A wild NaN appears

Today I told a fellow dev to join devRant, and explained it was "like Reddit, but only for developers"

Wild manager caught us and said "Uh, just what everybody wants, some geek forum. Thank god I left that world a long time ago"

Fucker...

Wild message appeared when compiling linux kernel ?¿ 🤔😂

When you are a Linux admin and see an unattended Linux console in the wild

As a full time remote employee it gets lonely. Im getting ready to turn my home into a co-working space :

* Plenty of space with tables and couches

* Gigabit Internet backed by enterprise networking gear

* Lots of fresh ground coffee

* Local Kubernetes server !

* dog friendly chill space

* kid friendly play areas during the summer

* Mountain home with backyard hiking trails , wildlife lookout (wild deer live in my back yard), and fireplaces

What else would you want in your co-work space-at-my-place (TM)?

Productive day!

Rewrote an intern's feature and briefly explained how/why
Gave intern a choice of projects, and explained them
Removed two unused models, one unused route
Dried up two views into a partial
Redesigned said partial
Tested validation edge cases (ex: Jan 10nd, 101bc)
Fixed an api
Simplified three models
Added scheduling and platform restriction to a feature
Le wild bug appears: a user with negative xp!?
Wrote a migration to expand players' max xp to 2^64-1 because a certain legacy game gives it away like my ex-boss makes promises. Chewed at devs, but they're all long gone so :/
Won two games of pool
Browsed devRant

Busy day, and all of this while falling asleep! 😊
I'm quite proud of myself today.

I made a web app that utilizes the GeoLocation API, that is used by search and rescue services in a couple of countries, to located missing and/or injured people “in the wild”. Over a few years, hundreds of people has been found due to this tool, some of them would probably not have survived without it! Made the first prototype myself, then two other devs joined in.

Open source and SaaS is offered free of charge to the rescue services. :)

Friday morning, taking a sip of coffee reading mails. (nb: I started the job on Monday, and this is my very first job excepted internship)
*wild manager appears* : come with with me a second.
Me: wtf is that
Him: close the door
Me: shit what did I do
Him: so we're closing this really big deal with a big client/investor
Me: ok cool, what is the point to tell me that ?
Him: remember when we discussed your salary and we couldn't afford to hire you as high as you wanted ?
Me:... Yes ?
Him: well now we can
Me, starting to understand: ... And ?
Him: well your new salary is higher than what you asked in interview

And that's how I got a 8% raise after 4 days at my first job :')

JavaScript is wild

How I've got my previous job?
Imagine you are in a wild techno club. Dark aisles, A dj from berlin behind the turntables blasting out hard beats, couples kissing on extasy pills.

And there was a friend I've didn't meet in ages. "how do you do?" she asks. "ah... you know i'm on a job hunt for a year i feel misrable". "really? my dad is looking for somebody, send him your resNZNZNZ!" "WHAT? can't hear you!" "Send him your resume!" "Ahhh! okay great!"

So on 24. december 5pm, snow outside, i've sat on wooden table in the kitchen of her father discussing the conditions for the job. It was the start of a crazy time. Dining with millionaires on their Castles. Shaking hands with top businesses leaders. Going to China and having dinner with the 500 richest chinese at once. Wild!

so my advice for you nerds, don't stay in your comfort zone behind the screen on weekends. Vistit a techno club sometimes. You may find a pretty girl/boy with a CEO as a father.

*wiggles the mouse on my Windows box to activate it again and watch some videos while eating*

Le wild BSOD appears!!
Windows used KERNEL_SECURITY_CHECK_FAILURE!!! It's super effective!
Hah! Well, you know.. it's fucking true. Windows' kernel security is a fucking joke.

First time that I actually laughed at a BSOD like this. Thanks Microshit!

I was so happy, unboxing my new laptop for Christmas when suddenly...

Le wild dead pixel line 😐

Yay, another item to tick off the bucket list.

- fall asleep during a zoom call ☑️

I think I've hit the point of being so burnt out, even self consciousness is hard to maintain.

I like when a recruiter calls, decides you're not experienced enough for the role they called for, and immediately ask if you know someone who is. Sure, bro, let me help do your job for you.

Lol, which ones do you guys use

stress ball arrived :/ And I picked a up a t-shirt to try find some ranters in the wild!

'rona virus working from home thug life.

MS Teams, several people including my PM, my company's sales lead, and the top brass from the client.

Sharing my center monitor with some technical documents etc.

A wild messenger message appears from my wife with the contents, "I'm gonna come home for lunch and fuck you sideways."

I'd put the amount of time it took me to mouse up there and flick that thing off the screen at about 900 miliseconds.

How fucked (in addition to sideways) am I?

Tl;dr ~ Fucked my wife. Fucked my life.

My teams current process is:

1) Asked by product to create “T-Shirt size” estimates, also known as a WAG (wild ass guess). The process is the mental equivalent of throwing darts while blindfolded, after being spun around in a circle and pointed in the wrong direction.

2) Product make firm commitments to upper management based off these. Ensuring them that all these features will make it out in Q2.

3) 4 days before Q2 starts, product ask engineering to figure out the real estimates based off no concrete information what so ever.

4) 4 Weeks into Q2, product provide the missing information.

5) Engineering inform product that the estimates are out by a factor of 1.5 - 3 times the original estimates.

6) Product sends angry email to upper management that through not fault of product, engineering are unable to meet the deadlines.

7) Everyone shout and complain until 1 week before Q3, then see point 1.

Following this process, you and your team can be just as delightful as me.

That’s the practiseSafeHex guarantee!

I just got told on a video meeting that I am far too pretty to be a developer.

To be fair, I am well aware of this, most devs I have met on the wild are some ugly ass motherfuckers.

I is a pretty ass mfker.

I guess it isn't just blue screens found in the wild now.

Storytime!

>purchased Sublime Text a few years ago
>used it a bit, mostly on Ubuntu, but eventually fell away
>mostly because notepad++ or just not coding
2017.apng
A wild DevRant has appeared!
>see people using Sublime Text
>remember the good old days(tm)
>download Sublime Text
>search email for key
missing-key.html
>work up courage to send email to Sublime Text team
theyRespond.jar
>turns out I was looking in the wrong email address
>still sent me my old key to the email address I sent the email from
i-am-ok-with-this.svg

10/10 would purchase Sublime Text code again

The balls some managers must have to think that this is going to be an acceptable price.

I also find it hilarious that a $2 adblocker can fuck this in the ass.

Rocky Linux.

The ancient Linux distro, presumably the main desktop Linux used by cavemen.

You can still see some instances running these days.

Soooo, i'm assigned to finish a half made prototype of a production line functional test platform.

1 - Some wires were faulty so someone decided to change them.

2 - wild shortcut appears *music fades, screen goes black*

3 - now i have to fix the prototype

4 - Devil's voice whispers on my ear *welcome to heeeeellllllll*

That moment you realise why you enjoy the dev life again.

It's been a long time since I've had a solid day of coding, just coding..., no meetings, no wild requests, no crazy issues, no data fixing because someone can't type a number correctly, just me, myself and that keyboard going on a field trip of quality coding time again.

Ah, it's a good day to end the week on!

I coded for a whole day (uninterrupted, literally woke up, grabbed my laptop and headphones and started) and suddenly, let wild parent shows up.
"Aren't you going to go out? You need to see some friends"
My response: As stated before, I have no friends, now leave
**Leaves**
**Comes back 2 hours later**
"Hey can you help me with my computer?"
Me: you didn't state the issue, what computer, what os, what you have done to fix it, have you even tried rebooting?
"Don't talk like that to me! Now come and help me!"
Me: nope, hint, answer the questions about your issue
"You rude piece of..."
**Starts screaming bla bla bla**

Wow, it has happened before that I treat people wanting help like me trying to debug, but I usually correct myself. I took it way to fucking far this time...

This one guy on my team had like 10 commits to a single file over a day with all kinds of wild changes.

Build is broken most of the day (not mine but whatever).

Finally, at end of day he says it is fixed.

I diff the first and last changes.

Copyright changed...wtf

I am a back end developer who is forced to fix angularjs problems because we don't have people. Literally copy/paste and wild guessing. Am I a full stack developer now?!?!
.
.
.
.
.
No, I am a back end developer who can hack front end together if somebody else started it.😉😉

A wild boss appears.
He uses surprise six hours meeting...
It's super effective!
Developer is dazed and confused 😵

I didn't actually realize anyone could be this dumb. Sure, I'd heard stories, but I wasn't sure that I'd ever come across this level of stupidity in the wild. I was moving email across hosting accounts for someone, and I asked them to please navigate to a certain domain. Then they asked what navigate meant, so I told them to please type it into the URL bar. They said "OK." 5 seconds later, they said, "Which one do I click on?" They googled the url. So I asked them to please type it into the URL BAR. Then they asked what that was.

...like what? I just told you this yesterday. How fast does information fall out of your head? Do you forget where your toilet is when you wake up every morning? How do these people even function in society?

-_-

I feel like a wild west cowboy drawing his revolver at laser speeds when I press ctrl + s microseconds before alt + tabbing and refreshing the page with F5.

!rant

A wild "Using this website in incognito mode requires a paid subscription" blocking div appears

Normal people: okay... *proceeds to exit incognito mode*

Developers: huh.. Bitch please.. *inspect element, hide blocking div. Select html tag, remove "overflow: hidden". Profit*

Why would anyone want to block surfing incognito anyway? They should be encouraging it actually..

PS:, While writing this, wondering if content for subscribed users is also locked this way.. Now that would be hilarious.

Answered dfox's what's your weekend project question with "gotta hack some open source app for my needs". In reality, watched the cutest possum and Snoop Dogg's wild life commentary on YouTube is all I did on my computer.

Wouldn't it be amazing if Linus Torvalds just say "fuck it, fuck this controversy, fuck the CoC and all the self righteous dumbass people infecting my community!"

And just forks Linux to start a new OS? Would you support him? I bet he would have huge independent support, hell I'm poor and even I'd donate.

Found a text formatting bug in the wild...

!dev

Just went to the pet asylum to look for a cat. There was a shy black one (eh, maybe not a good first but Moar Blacker, Moar Better 😋) and a black and white one which was very open towards me.

Probably I'll get the latter, and build some food, water and litter dispenser systems for it with motors and my esp8266 boards 🙂

The lady who was volunteering there and showed me around had an interesting story though.

Apparently both of those aforementioned cats were wild cats (so they don't come from a proper household or anything). Except that black and white one which apparently came from some rather retarded people.. think average Facebook user.

According to her those previous owners came there with 2 cats including the black and white one as "extremely wild, we found them in the forest, put them in cages (because everyone carries cat cages in their car every day, right?) and brought them here". Nice excuse for average Facebook user level of retard I have to say 😜 but it's not very waterproof, you know?

But on average the people that they get there are even worse than that.. some get a great initial meeting with a cat, but then leave them there because they don't like the stripes on a paw or something stupid like that. As she put it: "you're not fitting pants in a clothing shop, are you?! 😑"
Had to try hard to not burst out in laughter from that description 😂

Point is, the average customers there are awful.. apparently she was very grateful to have a rather down-to-earth customer like me and my home supervisor (who helpfully drove me there 🙂) for once. So terrible clients.. they're everywhere!

It really taught me to be mindful of the hardships of people in any profession who deal with clients.

Was reading a recipe when suddenly some wild JavaScript appeared.

Linux in the wild: Ubuntu running on touch enabled shop display with TeamViewer running.

So in the 2nd grade of middle school.our classes had computers with projectors and teachers would present on them. At that time I was still a beginner in programming and knew some basic cmd commands, so before our teacher had come to class I went to the computer desk, opened cmd and then executed this command “shutdown -s -t 36000” which basically shutdowns the pc after 36000 milliseconds and then the teacher came to class and started explaining us a new lesson on a power point and half way through the power point the pc suddenly shutdowns and the class got wild. and no one admitted who did it so all the teacher did is to say” who ever did it pls don’t do it again”. Like wow...😂😂😂

Ubuntu spotted in the wild (in the NS intercity train, the Netherlands)

Me: *opens FB in mobile web browser*
FB: You there! Go ans get our great Facebook Lite app! It is faster and...
Me: Nope! *clicks X to dismiss*
FB: Nope! *a wild code appeared*

im working through a workshop on Go, and a wild rick-roll appears.

Fuckers got me!

*edits file on remote server*
WanBLowS: naah you can't 😈
*le wild BSOD appears for the over 9000-th time*

... Yeah. Windows, great job. Who needs system integrity when they're working on remote servers anyway, right?!

And to top it all off, le reboot mentions that they're working on fucking "features" again. That's what you needed to BSOD for?! For a goddamn motherfucking feature?!! Fucking piece of shit.

At least when I opened vim on that server again, it's saved everything neatly in the .swp files, ready for recovery. Now that's neat, isn't it? Microsoft, the Linux community has already moved on to nvim in terms of development, but maybe, just maybe, you can learn a thing or two from our "legacy software", vim.

As for me, maybe it's time to take out my Arch laptop again. At least that won't crap out on me because the sun and the stars are in a position that the OS doesn't like, or something stupid like that. FUCK YOU MICROSHIT!!!

I spotted a wild ranter

Queue Pokemon music

I wish I could put this much effort into my job.

I finaly managed to make a dark mode on slack desktop app! Still has some bugs (like scrollbar being white) but works well enough for me. If anyone is interested tell me in the comments 🙂

How i did it (Linux paths but should be the same process for Windows):

You can execute scripts in /usr/lib/slack/resources/app.asar.unpacked/src/static/index.js

Using that i figgured out that slack desktop is basically an actual webview to their website and some os hooks.

To edit the contents of the webview you can call `document.getElementsByClassName('WebViewContext')[0].executeJavaScript("alert(1)")`

Then i just simply packaged up some custom css to be loaded with JS.

Quite simple actually.

Using this method you can create all kinds of plugins for slack, so go wild!

You have to integrate company A system with company B.
You look up B`s api documentation, write the necessary code, test it thoroughly. Done
__________________________________
A wild dev from B has appeared!!!
------------------------------------------------------

him > you cannot use this SDK to implement this solution. You must use a different one...

You > (coming back to him after scouring through the docs) . Ok which sdk is it then? I can't find it anywhere. Could you send it to me pls?
him > I don't kbow, my knowledge doesn't go that far. Send an email to the dev department.

After sending the email, and spending a couple of days trying to figure out which sdk was he referring to. His department answers that the sdk you should use, is the one you already used. The only one they have.

A couple of days lost, because certain smart-ass could not refrain himself from meddling in the project.

What would you do?

Note: Killing him is out of the question :)

I watched today one of our devs working in Windows with a Docker Environment.

I think I'm pretty insensitive regarding pain, horror and morbid stuff.

But damn. I really needed to turn off the stream or else I'd walk to the company and rip his fucking workstation out of the server rack to put it out of his misery...

Errors? ignore them....

Weird python messages? Ignore them...

wild copy pasta between notepad++ containing shell commands and a git bash... Per mouse context. Yes. Move the cursor, mark the text, right click, copy, go to terminal, right click, paste.

Understanding of whats happening. Zero. Like literal zero.

He was wondering why there were strange characters when he pasted log output in a text file...

My question: How do you think colored text works in a terminal environment?
was answered by : "Don't know, never thought about it. But don't think this has something to do with the weird characters?"

I don't wanna talk about the rest.

Retarded humanity can please kindly kill itself so the intelligent above average nice people can live in peace...

The meeting was 2 hours. I drank 5 bottles of beer after it in1 hour and I'm please to announce I'm forgetting large parts of what has happened.

Cheers.

I’ve learned JavaScript in 2012, and after a few years of C++, C, Java and Python, I am seriously coming back to js. And oooh boi, things have changed. Back in the day 😅, jquery was the coolest lib ever, Nodejs was a new wild beast (v0.7.0). Kids these days don’t really how lucky they are.

Uh-oh shit went wrong with umpteen thousand jobs in a pointer heavy, multi-threaded application in raw C. Fuck, some pointer gone wild?!

30 minutes later, after trying to find out how many jobs it takes to start failing. Noticed that it's about the default settings. Wait what? That's where the realloc'ing should kick in, check that.

Aahhhh. Maybe I shouldn't zero the whole buffer after realloc, just the new part. D'uh!

When you spot bugs in the wild.

Wild calculus emerges

Once again, I was lazily internetting and then there it was..
Some wild JavaScript lurking behind an ad.

God bless ads, God bless JavaScript.

My job quickly went down the shitter. A mass exodus happened, with half of top talent leaving, and the other half let go. The gig started out great, and offered me the growth I needed at the time, but sadly, life changes and moves on.

Determined to leave amicably on my own terms, I started looking elsewhere about a month ago.

I got an offer today! It's a perm position to offer stability to my fam, but with a consulting firm, so I'm excited for the relatively consistent change of pace with projects, technologies and clients. After spending years on end working on good projects that fizzled out and never saw the light of day, I'm longing to have my code released to the wild! (Not counting various patches and bug fixes)

Wish me luck!

wild people somewhere with real high end laptop (it's apple, so we can tell by looking at it?) :"am developing a website..."

.... "develop" a website... using wordpress?

i think these days people have confuse the term develop and design.....

Oh, this PHP thing is becoming big, we must use this; *makes ASP*

Oh, oh, this Java thing is really popular, and we're not the big bois now! *releases C#*

Waaait, functional is cool now? Damnit. Dude, grab this~~~ *F#*

Uhh. So people actually like JavaScript now? A wild *~~TypeScript~~* has appeared

Why does Microsoft have a history of following trends, and releasing poor clones with no substantial improvements??

There once was a game.
In that game, there was an OS.
But that OS knew not his name.

The OS was mad, wild, and free.

"Oh, would you find a name for me?"

Seriously, I need a name for the Linux OS in my game. :3
I'll be used for hacking.
Please be original.
Bonus point if you google it to make sure it doesn't exist already.

:3

> "The images are loading too slow. Make it faster!"

>"I can increase the offscreen limit of the viewpager but.."

> "Do that!"

*.... wild OutOfMemoryException appears*

> "The app crashes! Fix that!"

> "That is because of the offscreen limit we ju..."

>"Just fix it"

"...."

That slow realization that you're hitting burnout due to the toxicity of those in non-technical roles above you is wild. Also, Jira, Scrum, Sprints and all the extra bullshit can fuck right off as well.

Bless the service APIs that don't charge you for failed requests, that fucking on-site team almost cost my client 7k$, just because of a typo and an endless loop, that they pushed to production, while bypassing the rate and resource limit I set in place, because it "wasn't working" - it was working, you fucking cunts, it was preventing your system running wild for a reason.

Opened devRant while sitting in public transport.
Suddenly, the dude sitting next to me starts talking to me.
Nearly got a heart-attack because I thought he was going to say something about the devRant feed I was scrolling through or even reveal he was also on devRant. (Dude reminded me of some of the guys on the face reveal. Also, wild beard. XD)

Now somewhat disappointed but also relieved he wasn't a fellow devRanter. (I probably am a social being but when someone catches me off-guard I may react awkward.)

People wanted Microsoft to change and now that they have changed people bitch about it. Shit's fucking wild and stupid.

Can't please everyone though 🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️

Continued from previous post.

As the chill wind blows outside, the man picks up his laptop and phone. Slowly walks towards his bed and lifts an old hoodie. With easy he slides it on him, pulls the hood over his head. He turns around facing the window. On the back of his old hoodie, there is a design which looks faded and discolored. Below it some words which too are faded. He walks towards the window and glances on the street. It's still empty. All he can hear is the wind.
"Perfect", he says to himself and walks out his room.
As he is about to exit the building, he sees an Apache chopper passing above. It zooms above the street. A wild guess he makes, probably it's heading where he is heading.
His phone vibrates with a message.
"It's ready".

Just released version 1 of my first API! For this project I did everything the way I wanted to, no shortcuts! I documented the shit out of every endpoint and parameter. Everything is throughly tested and it’s dockerized. I also have metrics for each endpoint (with Grafana in the frontend, which I love) as well as alerts in case it would go down for some reason.

I prepared all of this before deploying it out into the wild and damn, it feels so good. Probably no one will use it but I don’t care. It’s one of those projects where you have to force yourself to go to bed at 2 AM.

Just some thoughts. Don’t really have any techie friends so figured maybe someone here recognizes that feeling. Also I wrote it in Python, such a pleasant language.

linux is a wild horse, love and passion is needed to tame it

Current task:

Somehow, one of my predecessors made some sort of custom hook tied to woocommerce check out that pipes some data into a nightmarish spaghetti fuck pile of undocumented wild west visual basic bullshit. It does this, presumably, via a set of parameters passed as plaintext in a url. I know this because I found the singleton that declares this. Helpfully, Mr. Fuckass named the class "Default", so I only have around 30k instances being kicked back by my IDE when I search for it. The only reason I "need" to find this, is so that I can just change the button to an href pointing at my own MS for shipping, and I need to change the fifteen params being passed to just one - a customer ID, which should be stored in the session, and referenced by a cookie. Once that is done, I should be able to freely delete a couple of gigs worth of bullshit. Been stuck on this for three days now. God forbid we have a test environment or something.

I'm tired. Can't even get angry anymore really. Can't even think of anything funny to say about it either, I just can't wait until this is done and I can go back to sleep.

“I sent a document to print but it hasn't come out... I think the printer might be broken”

NO! The printer is not BROKEN just because you can’t print. You see that person over there at the printer? Yes, that one collecting their print job now? THE PRINTER IS NOT BROKEN!

A wild error appears.
Love to find these out in the wild

I feel I should open a github repo, for people to contribute privacy policy parts into, have say folders like "google analytics" and then whenever people encounter those in the wild, add examples there, so people could fetch together a full privacy policy for free, as all those new cashgrab websites are just fucking insane. But I am not really sure, if that would find any contributors tbh sadly.

P.S: I seem to have developed now a third sense, when the devrant post cooldown is down, so I can rant more lol, because whenever I feel like posting the thought or rant, the cooldown is just about to expire

Buffer usage for simple file operation in python.

What the code "should" do, was using I think open or write a stream with a specific buffer size.

Buffer size should be specific, as it was a stream of a multiple gigabyte file over a direct interlink network connection.

Which should have speed things up tremendously, due to fewer syscalls and the machine having beefy resources for a large buffer.

So far the theory.

In practical, the devs made one very very very very very very very very stupid error.

They used dicts for configurations... With extremely bad naming.

configuration = {}
buffer_size = configuration.get("buffering", int(DEFAULT_BUFFERING))

You might immediately guess what has happened here.

DEFAULT_BUFFERING was set to true, evaluating to 1.

Yeah. Writing in 1 byte size chunks results in enormous speed deficiency, as the system is basically bombing itself with syscalls per nanoseconds.

Kinda obvious when you look at it in the raw pure form.

But I guess you can imagine how configuration actually looked....

Wild. Pretty wild. It was the main dict, hard coded, I think 200 entries plus and of course it looked like my toilet after having an spicy food evening and eating too much....

What's even worse is that none made the connection to the buffer size.

This simple and trivial thing entertained us for 2-3 weeks because *drumrolls please* none of the devs tested with large files.

So as usual there was the deployment and then "the sudden miraculous it works totally slow, must be admin / it fault" game.

At some time it landed then on my desk as pretty much everyone who had to deal with it was confused and angry, for understandable reasons (blame game).

It took me and the admin / devs then a few days to track it down, as we really started at the entirely wrong end of the problem, the network...

So much joy for such a stupid thing.

a wild caterpie appears

*wild LinkedIn notification appears*

>Opens LinkedIn
>Sees a video of dogs being dogs
>Reads caption something along the lines of "team work and dedication helps the universe to fight global warming and terrorism "
>*Eye rolls*

Question time:

Has anyone used PHP unit with Selenium before?

I have a.. well words can’t explain it nice enough but, beyond a joke, not even funny, spaghetti code base I’ve come to inherit recently, which god help me, doesn’t follow any design patterns at all, it’s just a stamp this here, staple this down over here and throw paint at the wall and hope it sticks.

It’s a mixture of procedural and functional with the rare class kind of mess.

So attempting to refactor by any means is not a real possibility without some kind of behavioural testing in place first otherwise I know I’m going to end up breaking something somewhere and not even know it.

Also if anyone has had the privilege of such code bases, tips to dealing with the mess are appreciated.

Oh and no, I can’t rm -rf or start again.😭

Windows in the wild...

The meme train continues

:not-rant
A rare picture of a wild Sony Ericsson Xperia mini which runs Linux distribution

Debugging a request that got lost in a myriad of containers of a scaled application....

It wouldn't be worth a rant if there wasn't some kinky SM stuff in it, wouldn't it?

Regexes. The fucker who wrote a lot of the NGINX (🤢) configuration decided to use the Perl Regexes with named group matching. A lot.

So now I have to fight wild variables supposedly coming from nowhere (as they stem from the named groups)… fucking single location redirects instead of maps.... A d have to write an explanatory documentation while going down the rabbit hole of trying to find out where the fuck that shitty frigging bastard redirected wrong.

I really wish I could eradicate the person who wrote this shit....

Opening up the docs, a book or a bunch of random pages online.

build something stupidly horrible to familiarise myself with different aspects and rinse and repeat until it’s something I think is worthy of being released into the wild.

Corporate jobs... where you spend most of the time doing stupid work because of idiots in the team.

There was a script to automate some manual task. However that script had a bug. The script was then updated.

Still there is some idiot out there in the wild who runs the old script now and then and causes issues.

We have written another script to counter the effect of that buggy script! 🤦‍♀️

Maybe in special dedication to @kiki.

I cut the unit tests down in LOC size by roughly 50 - 60 % in most projects.

It's really easy once one sees unit tests not as a dunking pile of copy pasta wild west, but rather as a code base that needs architecture and design.

Some extensions, some annotations, some good old helper classes.

Pooooof.

Why I did this? ...

Because it's fucking annoying when you read a PR with tests and need a fucking diff tool to spot the difference between two tests cause they're 80 % the same.

Yeah. Thx for giving me brain cramps, motherducker.

I'm not an expert in unit tests, but if all test codebases look like the "usual stuff" in our projects...

It's no wonder bugs exist...

A wild Tomcat has appeared.

Oh boy do I sure love designing site layouts for mobile! The limited screen space makes me think about what's absolutely necessary to have on screen at any given time, and I need to account for both portrait and landscape. I love a good challenge - aaaand done! Time to check it out.

Ah, fuck, the browser has completely disregarded the text sizes I specified and headers of any size take up the entire screen space.

Ah, fuck, the browser has decided that 4 pixels of padding should be 32.

Ah, fuck, the browser has made the executive decision that images should be whatever size it's in the mood to display today.

Ah, fuck, all this enormous text has also wrapped itself to one letter per line.

Just a wild thought here: maybe mobile browsers should actually respect CSS rules.

I always thought i could use some extra hours a day, but 40 seems a little excessive...

This is also the first time i encountered such a bug in the wild, and i'm way more excited than i should be, hehe.

Running a wild UPDATE statement against an inventory database, it was chaotic and didn't have backups.... yea I know 😅 the backup service died god knows when and no one noticed. I was only new at the time so #notMyFault

UPDATE stock_on_hand = 0; WHERE id IN(1,2,3,4,5,88,972,7388);
# rows affected 1,234,567,890

> I think I almost died inside.

Oh the fun that mess was to clean up.
The positive outcome of this was, we had backups working again not long after and the inventory counts where accurate after that stock take.

Out of the blue this morning... little spaced out.

Open terminal. Navigate to my project.

$ svn update
Command 'svn' not found, but can be installed with:
sudo apt install subversion

The fuck is wrong with me? I haven't used svn in like a solid 10 years. Old habits die hard I guess.

*WILD THOUGHT*

Whom would you provide your personal info for?

The ISPs or VPN Provider?

Yay they came, I forgot I even requested them lol now to find them a home so they can be seen in thr wild

It's interesting to me... a lot of the rants I see here are all like "just started this new job and this place is SO fucked". Talking about how there's no process, no source control, terrible code, etc.

I say it's interesting because most of the time the thought that goes through my head is "that sounds fun as hell!"

Like, spend as many years at a place as I have, a place where there's SO much process and SO many controls and all of that... you know, the whole "big enterprise" mindset... and the idea of being able to come in to a place that's kind of wild west and actually work to FIX the place, to have freedom to change direction and innovate and not be locked in to all sorts of rules, is kind of exciting.

(you know, assuming it's a place and a position where that's possible at all... but at this point in my career, I'd only take a position where I had that kind of authority from the start, and as long as I have the authority then I'm happy to take on the responsibility and I'm up for the challenge)

BOSD in the wild

Everyone here deserves the worst.

No, really, you all deserve those dark juicy stories. So here's why I hate password systems that don't have the user experience in mind.

Recently my university went under a huge update, most of it good, but this is DevRant, so let me tell you what's just the worst.

They asked me to change my password, they do this every month or two. So I did it, but as I clicked "Ok" a wild error appeared! It told me I had to use a password that was not one of the FIFTEEN that I'd used previously...

I tried everything, and despite everything else being poorly programmed, or what not, I thought it would be easy to spoof. Nope. Unfortunately this seems to be the ONE thing they did right. Looks like I'll have to go back to basics. Just add a number on the end of my previous password, up to fifteen, and reset :]

I think this rant needs to turn into an email headed straight to them :)

There's an interesting species out there, the skiplings. They are small, furry beasts, and usually go unseen because they live underground. When there's trembling action however, they leave their burrows to check out what's going on, typically while sitting up.

The rarest breed has the distinct habit of appearing quickly, and once things are observed to be calm, slowly return underground. They are mildly social in that several of them can inhabitate an area, but each has its own little den for sleeping.

Unfortunately, skiplings are a rare species so that they are protected under WCAG 2.1 section 2.4.1 at maximum criticality level A.

Calling all Devs 🤙:

What's the _best_ worst code you've seen in the wild in your corporate codebases?

Include a snippet of the traumatic lines in your comments!

I'll start with a classic:
$send = $enabled ? true : false;

HEY!
JAVASCRIPT!
I wasted 3 hours on your this. self. null, undefined, + asynch functions, bullshit "features"...

AGAIN...

and your taking 8 seconds to compile and test each wild guess that I make until I finally console.log every single fucking variable in order to make sense of it all

so, as usual, FUCK YOU

Oh dear people,

Congrats for going nuts @-red -style!
You have hit the cap! @Cup0coffee!

At first I thought I didn't know what to say, but here have a modified citation:
"Friendship is _C_are.
Do you know what I'm saying to you?
Friendship is rare." [2001 - by guess who]

Abstract anything dealing with external services where if they go out of business, change their internal policies, or you get a wild hair up your ass you won't have to change your entire code base later.

Right, that's fucking it. Enough. I'm all for learning new technologies, frameworks, and development protocols, but my time on this earth is limited and at the end of the day if I'm having to spend DAYS AND FUCKING DAYS just scouring through obscure forum posts because the documentation is shit and just hitting ONE FUCKING PROBLEM AFTER ANOTHER then there comes a point at which the time investment simply isn't worth it. I HATE throwing in the towel because some FUCKING CUNT code problem has got the better of me, but fucking sense must prevail here.

Laravel fucking Mix. Do any any of you use this shit on Windows? Because I take my fucking hat off to you. I'm done with it.

Oh, so your server uses 'public_html' instead of 'public' does it? Well, of course you can just set

mix.setPublicPath('public_html'); then can't you?

No, you can't. Why? Because fuck you, that's why. Not only do you have to hard-code your fucking public directory into each specified path, additionally you have to set

mix.setPublicPath('./');

Why? Because fuck you, that's why. It took me the best part of two days to discover that little nugget of information, buried at the bottom of some obscure corner of the internet in a random github issue thread. Fuck off.

Onto next problem. Another 5 hours invested to extract some patchy solution that I'm not at all happy with.

Rinse, repeat.

Make it work with BrowserSync by wrapping your assets like so:

<link rel="stylesheet" href="{{ mix('/build/css/main.css') }}">

Oh oh oh but "The Mix manifest does not exist"... despite a fresh install of Laravel 5.6 and all relevant node modules installed... follow some other random Github thread with a back and forth of time-consuming suggestions for avenues of experimentation, with no clear solution.

Er no, fuck off. I'm going back to Grunt and maybe I'll try Webpack/Mix in another year or two when there's actually some clear answers, but as it stands this a wild goose chase into a fucking black-hole and I've got better things to do with my precious time. Go die.

PC survival lessons
1. Tape acts as a protection from extreme animals like humans bashing you up and falling apart into pieces
2. Repeat lesson 1 for eternity

Always fun seeing one of you out in the wild

Jared wtf were you thinking! He is a wild man 😊 Final 5 minutes thru rolling credits was very cool.
Lot of communication and usability lessons to be learned during the episode.

Season finale next week. Can't wait!

Isn't it wild how everything’s turned into a subscription these days?

I’ve started building my own ad-free tools and plugins just to dodge all those monthly fees for AI, SEO, WordPress, server tools, and addons.

...Yet somehow, I’m still shelling out about $200 a month. The irony, right? 😅

1. Use browser for a few minutes and creating tabs with 'ctrl + t'
2. Switch over to vscode to open a new tab with 'ctrl + t'
3. Random wild search popup thing appears
4. Confused. Searches for keybindings
10 minutes passed till I remembered the keybinding was 'ctrl + n'. Thought my vscode was broken.

Why am I here? How did I got this job?

The switch from “Wild West” to ITIL uncovered so much bull crap. 20% of the people where doing 80% of the work. And then people were keeping some things alive by shear will, once Changes and Service Requests were required, it was shown how awful the environment truly was and how few people in the company knew how anything worked.

Coming from the wild west (ie. being freelance) to a fairly large organisation it's comforting to learn that they only have a *slightly* more organised work flow than I did when I was on my own.

It seems they're only human too, after all! 😃

It feels like this piece of code tells a story. Something about lingerie models, a wild night and frantically trying to get rid of any evidence.

There should be an open source, Linux based Printer operating system. Like OpenWRT for routers, also works with almost every device in the wild.

This would be such a relief for everyone. Come on, most printer firmwares are crap.

Remember Scannergate? Yep, the one about professional xerox scanners changing numbers in scanned document. Went unnoticed for 8 years and affected almost every workcenter even in the highest compression setting. Just because they wanted to save a few bytes by using pattern matching.

This cryptocurrencies madness.

My CPU usage gone wild only for accessing 1 goddamn news website

Fuck you coin-have.com to provide the tools to those greedy scumbags

When you set up a process and find out a co-worker has been ignoring said process for weeks resulting in a lot of the wrong computers being replaced with new ones and leaving a lot of old computers out in the wild.

Great week, been super productive and very happy about.

*wild junior boss appears*

"You should have done it differently! You didn't know it and it's your fault for not asking me about stuff you didn't know existet. I often screw things up and blame others, but i made the boss like me so it's okay. And since i lost my spine some time ago, i will now go suck my own dick and feel awesome . "

Not sure that is exactly what he said, but he meant it.

*le me working hard, in the zone*

*a wild popup appear*

*logitech wants to update*

*I look*

*I'm annoyed, I want to continue with what I was doing*

errrhmm what was in doing again?

*Out of the zone*

Fucking update notifications

THE WERECODER IS A WILD WOLF 29 DAYS PER MONTH, WITH FLEAS AND TICKS AND EVERYTHING, THEN ON THE 30rd DAY WITH THE FULL MOON IT WILL SHED ITS FUR, GROW TWO THUMBS AND COMMIT TO MASTER

Been looking into 2D maps for a game. I am learning how to use tools that do autotiling. I want to have generated worlds for terrain. It is interesting how the scope of what you are learning starts expanding rapidly and can overwhelm you. I started wanting to learn autotiling. This went from that to autogen, to modifying terrain, to how to store generated terrain, to how to store difference between autogen and player modified, to how to separate things into chunks, to how to store a whole world worth of data! Like dude, chill. Just learn how to use autotiling first. Then learn how autogen, then learn how to efficiently chunk things,. Also the 2d data won't be big so just store the data you genned so if modified. The worlds don't have to be ultra huge. Really stop freaking out what it could be and see what it is. JUST FUCKING ITERATE!

It is wild to watch yourself get featuritus without learning how to crawl fist. Just divide and conquer.

Spent about six hours writing tests and coding a user log in system for a Rails app last night. Finally finished at around 2:00am. Commited, pushed and merged, then called it a night.

Woke up today and Postgres is refusing to play nice. Spent twenty mins or so fixing that and then ran rspec.... Two thirds of my tests are missing - everything I wrote last night. I check my code and sure enough, they aren't there.

Wild panic ensues for a solid 5 mins before I realise I didn't actually pull the updated master branch after deleting my feature branch last night.

Now I feel like an idiot, but a relieved one.

Something to look out for. Apparently this is used on reddit and other platforms. Kinda wild that it is so refined.

I really want to stress that we should add the ticket for adding the missing test cases in *this* sprint and not postpone it any further.

-- "Isn't there something more important to be added instead?"

There. ALWAYS. Is. Something. MORE. Important. The real problem was that we implement the test cases in the past to begin violating our definition of done. We have to fix and one point and we have to own that decision as nobody else will care about passing tests and test coverage. It's our job to care for that.

Yes, we can instead focus on all the other high-priorities task that should have been done yesterday, yet that won't change the fact that large part our codebase will remain an untested messy blackbox just asking for weird bugs and wild goosechases in the future.

Don't hide behind "high priority tasks". A job is done when it is fucking done and tests are part of that. Hurrying from one important task to the next will just mean we'll never do it. There is no better time than right now.

If code coverage got left behind in the past, then we'll have to suck it up in order to fix it as soon as possible, otherwise we'll just suck forever.

I've been sort of lost after New Year's...

Last few years, my main goal was just to learn stuff to pass technical interviews. I also did a lot of personal dev in C#... and played with the js, python, and when a bit of c++.

But this year I kinda feel sorta of "ah screw it". Interviews never work out, haven't for years, what's the point in even trying... I get paid enough though the work is sort boring and team sort of feels like the Wild West, no rules, code reviews, processes...

But ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Feels like coding has lost its place at the top now. The future is all cloud, machine learning, big data/real time analytics but feels like these are out of reach for just 1 guy...

And well doesn't seem like anyone is going to give me a job because I'm not a good fit or have enough experience in these areas...

Sorta lost now but guess this is what a sudden thought leads to...

Oh and maybe just with tech in general. It feels this year I'm just not as interested as I was before... Spent a lot of time binge watching movies and stuff instead....

long time listener, first time caller. I love designers. seriously. I love getting a nice juicy Figma file and not knowing how the heck I'm going to do half the wild stuff in it, but it's beautiful, so I'll figure it out. Go ahead, send it to the client. But designers who learn how to use something like Elementor or one of those crappy kitchen-sink themes, call themselves developers, and win work with clients I share with them. I'm the one fixing everything when that crap breaks. I would never in a million years present myself as a designer, even though I know I know a damn sight more about design than they do about dev. I get it, everyone needs to make a buck, but every time this happens it makes me sick to my stomach. We're on the same team. I always, ALWAYS, go to the mat for good design. Why don't more designers have an equal amount of respect for us? Design phase always goes over deadlines and we always have to pick up the slack to make the hard launch date. Well, now I'm just rambling.

When you peel the stickers of your notebook and suddenly a wild rant appears!

when you stayed till 8 at work to finish the project and a wild bug appears

Job descriptions are only accurate for about a few months after that its the wild west whatever they want you to do.

So I just got into computer science College after a long period of being exited as all hell. Letting my dreams run wild with all the people that I'll meet and how we'll share information and debate over serious issues. less than a week into college I find out that people don't know shit and some of them are asking : "where are the brackets on the keyboard" while others ask what's the difference between Gmail and mail...............
I was devastated. (still am)

A brilliant letter Richard Feynman wrote to Stephen Wolfram:

CALIFORNIA INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY
CHARLES C. LAURITSEN LABORATORY OF HIGH ENERGY PHYSICS

October 14, 1985

Dr. Stephen Wolfram
School of Natural Sciences
The Institute for Advanced Study
Princeton, NJ 08540

Dear Wolfram:

1. It is not my opinion that the present organizational structure of science
inhibits "complexity research" - I do not believe such an institution is
necessary.

2. You say you want to create your own environment - but you will not be doing
that: you will create (perhaps!) an environment that you might like to work in
- but you will not be working in this environment - you will be administering
it - and the administration environment is not what you seek - is it? You won't
enjoy administrating people because you won’t succeed in it.

You don’t understand "ordinary people." To you they are "stupid fools" - so you
will not tolerate them or treat their foibles with tolerance or patience - but
will drive yourself wild (or they will drive you wild) trying to deal with them
in an effective way.

Find a way to do your research with as little contact with non-technical people
as possible, with one exception, fall madly in love! That is my advice, my
friend.

Sincerely,

(Signed, 'Richard P. Feynman')

The Javascript build/bundling eco system is killing me every time I try to get into it.

Me: oh vite, a nice and fast bundle that supports hmr
Me: works like a charm

Well until I discovered that exporting a self contained bundle with Inlined dependencies is not a thing and you have to pray that your framework provides such plugins

The world of js/jsx/tsx bundling, building, tree shaking, transpiling, Inlining, transforming is such a wild west and that on top of an already very unstable layer of different frameworks that work so fundamentally different that you cannot apply a single principle to even 2 of then (from a building/ssr/bundling perspective)

Standards signing off when it comes to building node apps

Might be late but Zelda Breath of tne Wild is one of the best damn games I ever played in years!!

you know whats wild? they're talking of AI taking of the world

and meanwhile we still need to fill out and send copies of pdfs everywhere to get things done

🤡

The struggle is real

Fiddling with the UiPath RPA tool. What the fuck is this monster?

So, you create apps by drawing a flowchart, like some kid using Scratch. Then, suddenly, you have to create a .NET object just to get a random number!

Who the fuck is the target audience that can create objects, call a directory read function, etc, but can't write a loop?! Show me that fucking person.

Then I have to debug the fucking selectors when they don't work correct. All this requires is understanding how UIs are structured under the hood. So, you know that a menu bar is a window, but you need to draw a fucking if statement?!

And how would you debug and manage this monstrosity?

It like we learned nothing from all the Excel apps we build for decades.

I mean, it's an impressive app. But, why does it exist?

Someone needs to stop this before it gets out into the wild or we'll all be debugging flowchart a created by business analysts.

You have been warned. Join the fight or accept the consequences.

Been bughunting the last week or so on this import job that is suddenly running so slowly that it takes more than 24h and is restarting on top of itself.

It used to run in anywhere from 4 to 8 hours, which was bad enough. You see, it ran on timer scheduled by our main site. So our deployment window was determined by when this job finished, and if it didn't finish during work hours, then no deployment that day.

So we got the idea to move it to a separate service to eliminate that deployment window bottleneck. And now, seemingly unrelated, it is just running slow as shit.

There is a lot of bad design in the code, and we know we want to build a completely new solution. But we also absolutely need this import to run every day until a better solution can take over.

We've taken care of some of the most obvious problems that could cause the poor performance, but it's unclear whether it's going to be enough. And with a runtime of about a day and wild variations of the most atomic partial imports, it's extremely tedious to test as well...

Laying in bed at 1 AM unable to sleep so of course my brain is going wild and trying to convince me that learning Assembly and C to make my own bootloader and OS would be a good idea... Could be fun, think it's worth the shots and giggles?

Malwarebytes gone wild! 😂😂

Finally got an offer from a multinational org i could previously only dream of. Ugh i really deserve it plus i didn’t fuck myself over by not negotiating this time. Got an extra 10k on stock options which was wild. Bye bye leetcode, hello Netflix and weed for the next month until i resume in August.
Such a relief knowing my family will not starve and die (joke but i am my family’s support so i was a quite worried last month when the interviews just seemed endless).

12:55 AM, Subject gets and decides to look at crude oil chart.
1:05 AM, At it.
1:10 AM, Subject decides to check the temperature, using laptop screen in dark.
1:12 AM, Does a wild aerobic move to save flying laptop.
1:13 AM, Finds out that screen is gone.
1:23 AM, Orders new screen.
1:26 AM, Types this rant.

The marketing department must be run by wild butthurt fucking monkeys... Bloody idiots do you even know the word " controll"?! It's a simple fucking thing instead of wasting fucking 2,5hrs of my time which could been put on.. oh I donno more productive work?!?

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

Fuck sake.. 2 numbers... 2 numbers on almost every fucking article was wrong and you couldn't even check these in the fucking program BEFORE asking me to fix the images for these and upload? No I had to upload everything only to later noticed that you cunts gave the wrong numbers .... Butthurt wienerschnitzel 🖕

so there is this guy on blind network who makes half a million per year... and he is worried about his job "since it might be automated away" and he is looking to switch career paths!!!!

mind boggling that a "software engineer" with that type of pay hasn't recognized that LLMs are all hype and no bite

wild

it's insane to me that people making more money in a year than i've made in my decade career know little to nothing about software

what an absolute insane time to be alive

An army general is newly stationed in a desert post. On his first day, he calls for a soldier to show him around. While doing this, he notices a camel randomly tied to a tent.

He asks the soldier, “Soldier, why is that camel tied to the tent?”

The soldier looks awkward and answers, “Er, well Sir, as you know there are no women on the base so er, the camel is there for when the men get certain…um…urges”

The general nods in understanding And says, “Well I don’t condone this behaviour, but I suppose I understand”

A few weeks into the post, the general starts feelings these urges himself. He calls for the soldier to bring the camel to his tent. He then goes outside, gets a stool, and has wild animal sex with the camel.

After he’s finished, he climbs confidently off of the stool and sees the soldier staring at him, wide-eyed.

“So” the general says with a grin, “Is that how you boys do it here?”

The soldier answers, still wide-eyed, “No Sir, we usually just ride the camel into the nearby town where the women are”

!dev but is somewhat tech related

So I was like 7. I was hanging out after school with a friend who's mom worked there. We were in her office. So there was a song l really liked are the time (Song of the South by Alabama) and it was on a CD.

So I put that CD in the computer and play my favorite song. Well literally 15 seconds after a line in the song, which was "Sweet potato pie and I shut my mouth," played, my cousin who was in another teacher's office decided to
prank call us.

What did they say when I picked the phone up and said hey? "Sir your order for 1,000 pounds of sweet potatoes is ready to be delivered."

I nearly shit a brick as I slammed the phone down and started freaking out. I ran to where he was and bust in there to see themn laughing really hard

Now I look back and laugh, but I genuinely
thought that by somehow playing that song ordered a lot of potatoes.

And the wild part of the story is that of literally all the things they could say, they chose sweet potatoes. Like it still blows our minds that that's the choice he made.

I have a confession to make. I am indeed a team of entities. Yes! The only catch is all those entities live inside one brain.
My first and perhaps most important insight stemmed from not being able to overcome a persistent identity crisis. I spent seven years trying to figure out who I am and what my worldview is. I realized however that it was impossible. It makes no sense to be rational while your irrational part is hovering over, judging.

So, I split my “me” into two parts: rational and emotional. Usually, they coexist peacefully.

When presented with a complicated case, I let both speak. It doesn't matter if they contradict each other. The consensus is never reached, but at least both parts spoke their mind and are now calm.

There are two kikis. Rational kiki talks about life, insights, worldview, and occasionally tech. Emotional kiki sends leg pics and describes her wild dreams.

Also, it gets even more complex when derealization hits. Remember, autistic brains don't have garbage collectors, so as the day goes by, noise accumulates, influencing my entire being. In the morning, I'm cold and calculated, albeit a bit robotic. In the evening, I'm creative and talkative, albeit a bit unhinged.

You're welcome!

SWAG - Scientific Wild Ass Guess

Lost count of the no of times I have been asked for SWAGs by EOD.

it’s amazing how many people have some virus named chrome. i mean, where does it even come from?

XML isn't too bad, as long as it's fully standards compliant and uses an DTD.

In other words, about 2% of XML documents in the wild.

Have you ever played Zelda: Breath of The Wild?
Have you seen this system where you set a point on the map, and see a colum of light going up from this point with the Sheikah tablet?

Man I'd love to do that in an augmented reality system on a smartphone 😍

One problem for CS education is that the salaries for academia are so low compared to industry that if someone is even vaguely competent, they can at least double their income by working a 'real' job. Now this may be different at higher levels of colleges but generally those folks are such bullshitters they wouldn't last outside of academia.

As what to improve?
Depends if it's a research or vocational course.

For vocational; heavy on group projects, common tools, methodologies and architectures. All demonstrated in something like c#/java/python. And one project must have a web app (db, app layer and JavaScript from end)
Basic knowledge of algorithms, runtime analysis (O notation) and some data structures and you're an instahire.

For research, go wild. Deep dive into the math, algorithmic side. Read up lots of research papers. Try out different programming paradigms. You would aim for a career in academia, AI, quant finance etc...

When you are finally gaining some momentum after ironing out some crucial flaws on your pseudocode, ready to code and test, but then a wild meeting suddenly appears!

So tired today and just realized spent all day on a wild goose chase..

Somehow the test results were wrong... It said the data was out of sync but checking the live data today... They're an exact match...

PSA Cloudflare had a bug in there system where they were dumping random pieces of memory in the body of HTML responses, things like passwords, API tokens, personal information, chats, hotel bookings, in plain text, unencrypted. Once discovered they were able to fix it pretty quickly, but it could have been out in the wild as early as September of last year. The major issue with this is that many of those results were cached by search engines. The bug itself was discovered when people found this stuff on the google search results page.

It's not quite end of the world, but it's much worse than Heartbleed.

Now excuse me this weekend as I have to go change all of my passwords.

A wild format bug appears!

!dev

My entire 1am train ride across Berlin tonight, a Saturday night/Sunday morning, was devoid of anyone else in the train. I even passed through one of the biggest stations.

This pandemic is wild.

Today, I Had this wild idea of doing a career 360 into cancer research after earning enough (money and suffering) to leave programming in some years. Can't tell how feasible that'll be, seeing as I have no degree in the field. But it's pretty surprising that none of the bright minds throughout history have given it their best shot without hacking it for good

I'm coding when suddenly a wild popup appears: "w10 scheduled to restart outside of active hours".

-> I want to change my active hours so I can progress w/o being interrupted by windows.

-> w10 doesn't allow me to set it to 8AM - 10PM because:
"Active hours can be set between 1 and 12 hours."

Well.. not sure what to think about this restriction.. It's definitely not dev-friendly ;)

> be upgrading angular project to rc5 for last 2 days
** wild first non-fuck-you error message appears! **
> be happy te see an error

Tired of all those timetables, application, motivational quotes ...
Coded my own assistant : Robo1100

Still full of ifs but properly understands what I mean (I don't have s very wild vocabulary )

Can I call it artificial intelligence?

Some of his features:
- determining current tasks according to date and time
- tracks the task and show you how many percent you've done
- plays different musics according to your mood (if you start nagging he'll play motivational rock and so on)
- does simple calculations for you
-gives you simple informations like time , whether,...
- remind you the events of the day
- reads a rsnfom cool quote at startup
- most importantly speaks with s human voice
-...

Any recommendations?

A wild merge request appears. These are your options:

A. Spend 3 days of back and forth
B. Accept MR and fix it yourself later

Windows 11 CLIs at their finest

Someone needs to teach the editors at Wired about HTML. ...and incidentally go Wild!

Trying to switch from 2 finger bird-view typing to 10 finger no-view. Fuck this is hard! I'm just veeery slowly getting used to it, although I tend to fall back automatically when I don't focus on it and just want to type in a few characters.
I keep doing several typos and often forget where a key was exactly or confuse the position of some character, even though I typed it fairly often before. Also typing any number or non-alphabetic letter is mostly a wild guess of finger position.
Either I'm a very slow learner or smth's wrong.😪

API provider: include a signature based on these fields in this order. DO NOT ENCODE IT!

Implementation works a while, then..

*a wild apostrophe appears*

Signature no longer works.

API Provider: "oh, yeah we escape those."

Arrghhghghghhhghvhxmchsoxnsoxnwl

Not only is it a poor design for signing payloads, the documentation is shockingly poor in it.
Even the implementation example (which is supposedly from their code) doesn't account for any type of escaping or encoding.

Before anyone asks, I can't into details about the implementation.

A Wild 500 Error Appeared :O

Never thought I'd be back here after all these years. But today I thought I would rant about our product owner, who thinks he's priceless to the project. The man walks out of meetings that don't go in his preferred direction. He gets flustered whenever discussions become technical and demands everyone ELI5 the entire thing to him. He clears his throat loudly every time he wants to make himself noticed, like loud grunts of a wild boar. He will find ways to shift blame away and onto others. He does not like being recorded during meetings and does his best to make sure his decisions don't have a paper trail in case they go sour. No paper trail also means he can contradict himself everyday ans get away with it. I wish there was a way to make him resign or switch to a different project. Other managers and even his bosses are already aware of his behavior and yet still no significant changes in his actions or behavior.

Does anyone of you fellow devs ever pushes to production during working hours?

I have the luxury to do so and at first was uncomfortable, as this of course takes the system offline for a few seconds, and next web requests from a user are painful due to cold start of web server (and we have 40-100 active users at any given time)...

...but you know what? They all complain SharePoint is slow (it is) anyway, so. I do it.

Sometimes it fucking fails, so I do have all of the historic deployments handy, ready to revert. :)

Today I came across a very strange thing or a coincidence(maybe).
I was working on my predictive analytics project and I had registered on Kaggle(repository for datasets) long back and was searching on how to scrape websites, as I couldn't find any relevant dataset. So, while I was searching for ways to scrape a website, suddenly after visiting a few websites, I get notifications of a new email. And it was from Kaggle with the subject line
"How to Scrape a Tidy Dataset for Analysis"
Now I don't how to feel about it. Mixed feelings! It is either a wild coincidence, or Kaggle is tracking all the pages visited by the user. The latter makes more sense. By the way, Kaggle wasn't open in any of the tabs on my browser.