Laughed harder than I should 😂
P.s. I use both!

I must be the odd one out.

Windows update: literally takes a minute or two at max, works perfectly

Linux update: oh you know that WiFi module that you somehow managed to get working? Now you get to spend a day getting it working all over again! Fun!

@RememberMe
Windows updates: pretty sleek going, you just gotta wait a little.
Arch updates: manual but takes no longer than a few minutes.
Maybe it's my laptop's popular hardware which does all the magic.

Windows: well here you go, the updates.. uh actually don't work because it's more profit not to test properly. Besides, fuck you.

Mac: well here you go, the updates.. uh actually don't work because nobody has thought that you would use your Mac for anything else than showing off. Besides, fuck you.

Linux: well here you go, the updates.. uh actually don't work because scratch my itch and works for me. Besides, fuck you.

@Fast-Nop Android: well, here are your updates. but no, manufacturer didn't bother about the update for you, one idiot with this device. Everyone's using our new model, so why you don't just buy it? Oh, and also, we don't care about ecolo-ch-y. We care about profit. Nobody cares about you and your device. Besides, fuck you.

@Fast-Nop
iPhone: Here, take your update bitch! This will slow down your already slow old iPhone so that you move your ass and get a new one! Yeah that's more of marketing than update, fuck you!

@Fast-Nop btw that's how we end up with a lot of e-waste

@RememberMe
All the WiFi brands that I see these days have decent Linux support. Intel, atheros, broadcom. What wifi module do you have?

And seriously a little while? MS update is very slow (creating restore point instead of using decent cow snapshots) and inconveniences you. If it goes wrong it roles back nicely but gives you little to no reason why it failed.
Besides that it only updates select programs and OS.
On almost every distro you update everything. Can set it up so you seldom have to reboot (and that is already not too often by default). It doesn't get in your way or perform extra tasks at boot/shutdown.

Linux package management is not perfect but beats crap out of any solution I have seen on Windows

What if I told you, you actually need to download 1809 update installer manually.

@sunfishcc you probably have selected different update channel or otherwise enforced group policy.
Don't worry it will be forced in about a year...