windows update code

function update(){
print("10%");
print("30%");
print("50%");
print("99%");
_doActualUpdate();
_mineBitcoin();
print("100%");
return;
}

When 1 update isn't enough

A devRant Update!

Hey everyone,

We thought now would be a great time for a devRant summer update on what we've added recently and what we've been working on.

Highlights since our last update:

- We launched devRant++, a supporter program for people who want to help us cover our costs while getting some cool extra features (a supporter badge on rants/comments/profile, reserved spot on our in-app supporter list, ability to edit rants/comments for up to 30 minutes instead of 5, and thanks to immediate user feedback, we also added the ability to post a rant every 1 hour instead of 2, and post comments that are up to 2,000 characters instead of 1,000!) We are extremely happy and thankful for the great response the program has gotten and we plan to continue to improve it using your feedback.

- We added the ability to subscribe to a user's rants. This makes it so you get a notification whenever that user posts a new rant!

- We added an "active discussions" feature (available in the "more" tab on the right). If you're looking to join a conversation happening in the moment, then this feature will help you discover those rants. It shows rants that have recently been commented on so if it's a topic that interests you, you can easily get in on the discussion!

Some stuff we have in the pipeline:

- More fun avatar stuff, including fun new OS/language-themed pets
- More perks for the devRant++ subscriber program - if you have anything you'd like to see, please let us know and we will try to make it happen!
- We will be testing some stuff to help classify rant types (rants, jokes, questions, etc.) in order to create a more personalized experience
- On that note, we're also going to take some more time to do some work on the algo as we haven't done much in terms of improvement since the initial smart algo launched
- Community projects page update - we've been slacking on updating the page and apologize for that. If you have created a devRant-related project and it's not on the community page, please resend it to david@hexicallabs.com (even if you sent it already) so we can make sure it gets added. Sorry about that!

A note on community etiquite regarding voting on content:

We've always believed that one of the most important and awesome experiences on devRant is getting your content noticed and appreciated by others. If you enjoy a piece of content, you should upvote it. If you enjoy 500 pieces of content, you should upvote them all. People really appreciate others enjoying their rants and comments so let them know if you do! If you don't like content, you can downvote it with the relevant reason. What we don't encourage is voting on content that you haven't actually looked at or spamming upvotes in mass for content you're not even actually reading/viewing. While we don't encourage that, it's not explicitly disallowed so we won't impose any penalty for it.

What is strictly prohibited and enforced is using scripts or automated procedures for voting on content. Anyone who is caught doing that will have their account deleted without warning. While very rare, we caught a couple of people doing that this week and both accounts in question were immediately deleted once discovered. To be clear, this is the practice of explicitly using a script or automation to mass vote on content. You will NEVER be banned/deleted for voting on a lot of content manually, even if you vote quickly and on lots of stuff. We just want to make that clear becuase this is not meant to discourage people from voting, it is only regarding votes not placed by humans. So if you're a human voting on content, you have nothing to worry about, we promise!

Please feel free to let us know if you have any questions or feedback on any of this. We love constructive feedback and in the past it has gone a very long way to improving and advancing the devRant community. And as always, thank you to everyone who contributed to the community in any way, we really appreciate it and want to keep making your experienfce better.

Happy ranting,
~David and Tim (Team devRant)
@dfox @trogus

Me: I'm done working for today, let's pack up and go home !
Windows: :)
Me: You better fucking not-
Windows: Installing update 1 of 893...

Visual Studio has an update. Tells me to update the update installer first :P

A little summarised story for ya:
>Makes a rant
>Gets over 200 rants and rising
>Steady rise of increments over weeks
>Gets to 283 increments (hope of getting to 300 for a stressball)
>Updates app
>Literal update log:
"Stressball limit is now 500"
>Cries in a corner

sudo apt update

"All packages up to date."

For the past 14 days? Huh.
Everyone on vacation or something?

It's quiet.
It's a little.... tooo ... quiet.

Let's update your update, but first let me update, so we can start updating the update

The best privacy policy update meme

Use a Mac they said.
No annoying update they said.

I still haven't updated my Windows laptop of new update. The reminder is annoying lol, I have clicked snooze button more than I do on my alarm

Windows 10 once again held my computer at ransom! When it finally came around after the update, all it really seem to do is place Edge back on my task bar. No... Bad Microsoft, I don't use or want Edge.

You have a presentation due in next 5 minutes?

Windows:- Okay, you know what? Fuck it. Let's update the PC.

Never forget the WHERE clause on UPDATE :(

When I update Android Studio and everything breaks.

Reasons why I update a software to the latest version:
1% - I'm glad that they fixed the bug
4% - I want the new features
95% - To get rid of reminders that don't allow to tick a "don't remind me later" field.

Reboot to install Linux.
Windows update.
Fuck you.

Fuck these movie people:
You run "sudo apt-get update.." and you say we've got the signal. Your f*cking signal! Am sure someone even typed the password for you. I update my system every 5 minutes I have got no signal. F*ck you again. I'm not watching the movie again. P*ssing me off.

*Looks away from computer screen*

Android studio update is available

*Drinks coffee*

Android studio update is available

*Cuddles with cat*

Android studio update is available

*Debugging app*

Android studio update is available

* "Mom" *

Android studio update is available

When you decide to update the framework during development

I just hate it when an update for an app is available and there's no changelog. Seriously, tell us what this update is about!

In the bottom left corner of the picture there is a devRant guy with a 3 monitor setup...

However 2 monitors are the biggest multi monitor setup you can select...

*puts tinfoil hat on*

Have I just leaked the next big devRant update?

*knock knock*
SIR do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior the WINDOWS UPDATE?
"uhm no sorry I'm busy"
*sees a bulldozer in the background*
"what the .."
SIR just let him in your heart and feel his security patches drive your vulnerabilities away!!
"but the rendering hasn't finished ye.."
TOO LATE SIR, green light fellas let's do this
*bulldozer destroys my house and i wake up, sweating*

*hugs laptop*
"Oooh Ubuntu my baby I've missed you soo much!"
*wayland crashes*

Windows 10 asking me to update to Windows 10, are there no bounds?

guess who decided to update

App update description 😂

100% True..
Windows update proves to be a headache sometimes.

Hello devRanters! A new update on the privacy website as I've had time to work on that last weekend.

For the picture: everything except for the images (although the URI's are in the database) is coming directly from the DB!

Also got a thingy working which can show one app on a single page including it's pro's/cons etc that you see on the main page but also (still have to write that part though and no screenshots yet as I've only done the backend!) sources (links to proof etc), a description and a guide on how to use that app/service!

I'm finally getting somewhere :)

Fuck This
I have a demo tomorrow, my windows installation just decided to commit suicide by update
FUCK

My class just got cancelled because the professor's PC decided now's the perfect time to update!

Gotta love windows sometimes :D

Nobody expects the S̶p̶a̶n̶i̶s̶h̶ ̶I̶n̶q̶u̶i̶s̶i̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ Windows update

8:30 - get into office, boot windows
Windows: "Oh man, here's this update. If you're not doing it now, I will start in 15 minutes. No questions asked!"

9:45 - checking update status
Windows: "Well i'm nearly finished, just give me a sec..."

9:55 - whats's my pc doing
Windows: "Hey mate, I did it! I also restored those neat shortcuts to MS EDGE for you. Please use my browser"

10:00 - Well i can finally start working
Windows: "Yeah... you would. But i had to remove theese few applications, because they are not compatible anymore."

11:00 - Okay, installed all my stuff, did some coding. Time to test it. Lets boot up my VM.
Windows: "Oh so sorry mate. Not gonna show my network devices to Virtualbox anymore. Have fun reconfiguring your connections without them."

Fuck this fucking Windows 10!

The only reason we have Win10 on our machines, is because people in my office panicked the last day of the "free upgrade period" (and i was on holidays)...

Hey devRanters! A tiny update regarding the privacy tips etc site.

So as ewpratten doesn't have much time right now, I'm doing frontend as well for now.

Since some people also offered to contribute content, which I did not expect, I am also writing an invite/registration (based on invites) as we speak. So, this way, I can invite anyone (based on email address) into the CMS so that they can contribute content as well!

Regarding frontend, I'm introducing a system with icons. Icons? Yes, icons, let me explain:

Every application/service will get a couple of default filtering thingies. (not like clicking something and it'll filter anything out, yet) It'll enable users to see what an application does or does not. What the FUCK do you mean? Alright, so, as example, lets say open source. next to each application (read application/service) listed, there will be an open source icon. If the application is open source, this icon will be green, otherwise it will be red.

This will allow for a quick way of filtering stuff out.

For example, if you're only looking for open source stuff, you can quickly filter stuff out where the open source icon is red!

This will apply to things as open sourceness, metadata saving, usage of good crypto technology and so on. So you'll be able to quickly filter out the stuff you want to use (by eyes) through those filters!

Please let me know what you think and if you have ideas, I'll be glad to hear them!

It was a cold monday evening.
I was alone in my room.
Many hours of coding had passed.

Windows offered me two options:
"Shutdown"
"Shutdown with update"

Anoyed by the update but thankful for the first option i decided to go with number one.
Windows started its shuting down process when all of a sudden...

"Please don't turn off your machine! Your updates are being konfigured!

It was that evening...
That one speciall evening...
I decided...
To finally...
Do nothing about this problem and cry myself to sleep...

Hello again devRanters! This is linuxxx again. A quick update regarding the privacy site!

Right now we're up to the following:

Ewpratten
- Converting what we have right now on frontend to Bootstrap.
- Working on a page with a description as to what this is going to be exactly.

linuxxx (me)
- Converted the static stuff we used before to a simple MVC based PHP web application.
- Created a DB scheme for the custom CMS I am going to write for this.
- Starting to work on the custom CMS right now!

We'll update as soon as we've got a well working description/introduction page :)

We won't be creating rants every day/new tiny feature/change or anything but as this is our first productive night, it seemed like a nice idea to update what we already got done/started on :).

Stay tuned!

Windows
Hi update for your PC is available do you want to upgrade?
No
Ok your update will start in 10 minutes 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Microsoft, if I click the "Update and shut down" button it means I want you to update and shut down, not do a third of the update, shut down then wait for me to turn the computer back on for you to finish! Why can't it just do the update, reboot as necessary then shut down once it's all done?

I like how Microsoft added a FAKE "Do not auto update" button in Windows 10

Monitor update:
Yes. I'm in heaven.

And award for "Bitch of the week" goes to....

Android Studio's latest update!!!
🙃🙃🙃

Dear high-school teachers,
Just fucking click the "Update Java to the latest version" button. Seriously, it's easier than exiting the window every time you start up the machine. Stop being a bloody tool, and just do it.
Thank you

Any update to update the updating bar?

I know exactly who will like this pink accent 😏
I like this devRantron update :D

To all the people complaining about a windows update breaking their computer.

A linux kernel update just broke my computer.

Cmon guys it's an important security update..

Visual studio just forced update on my friend's whole team, boss just let them all go home early and pray that it finished updating by tomorrow... Good job Microsoft

Taxi is waiting outside. Have to print some files before I go. Already late. Windows update.

Have you read the devRant update? @dfox and @trogus have done an amazing job of building a great community, keeping us informed of upcoming features AND asking for our input.
The upcoming features are 10x.
I can't wait for the store to open. Please tell me killer polo shirts and unique gifts just for devs make in before the holidays. Sending my wife up to buy me stuff.
All I can say is thanks to the devRant team and all of the community for the informative, funny and get it off my chest rants. I start and end my day with devRant and enjoy every rant.

Me when I'm updating my projects:
"I put some new code in,
I took some old code out,
I put some new code in and I tested it all out, I fixed some major bugs and I pushed the update out. That's what it's all about!"

Windows update...

Update messages done right 😂😂

I had a 6 hour flight home so thought I would do some coding. We take off, get to cruising altitude, I get my laptop out and boom windows update. It's like they know the most inconvenient time possible FML

That's why Amazon is special. Look at the what's new section for the app update.

When you release an update and don't wanna deal with fixing bugs any time soon

When there is no automatic way of checking if you software update came through correctly and no personal is in the building so you have to boot 421 PCs.

> An update is available
> Installs update
> Update failed bc of corrupted system components
> Random bluescreens
> Sfc /scannow
> Can't scan because there is one pending repair
> Restart
> Does everything except repairing
> Recovery mode
> System integrity check failed
> Reset Windows
> Reset failed bc of "some" problems
> Media creation tool for bootable USB
> Tool fails to write image
> Media creation tool on another pc
> Successful
> Install Windows
> Missing drivers, cannot install
> Wipes hard drive

Fuck you Microsoft

When you need to explain an app update to users

Microsoft be like :
"Oh, you're moving away from your computer for a while with all this stuff open? It would a shame if some were to.. UPDATE it!"

It asks with a pop up, and if you don't answer it, it thinks "Oh, you're not telling me if I should update now or not, but I think you probably want me to update. UPDATE!"

For me, if I keep ignoring the update, it starts to create problems for me out of nowhere. It starts to lag and then the task manager starts to lag. EVERYTHING IS NOT RESPONDING.
When I finally update it, it acts like there were no issues at all. Everything is fine..

Even with Xbox, if it wants to update, it doesn't let you go online until you do. If it loses connection mid-update for some reason, it begins the update again from the friggin START. All that time updating gone to waste. Recently, I'm having a lot of issues with it. It doesn't let me sign in a lot of times. "We couldn't sign you in" for some reason. It JUST CAN'T. If you have a slow internet connection, you can't play any game at all. I contacted Microsoft Support about that issue and they concluded that it was all because of the slow internet connection and there were no issues on their end and they told me to GIT GOOD (Not exactly those words). If it does sign you in, it kicks you out mid-game for some reason with the evil pop up saying "Bye User_Name". The game says that YOU signed out (Dumb game, doesn't understand Microsoft shenanigans) and returns you to the main menu. If your game didn't save, well, GOOD luck to you!
Everything takes forever to load, if it decides it's not gonna load, it gives me a really helpful error saying "Something went wrong".
Maybe it's just me, it just hates me particularly. It makes me think that Microsoft intentionally acts like a douche just to get attention..

(In the end I think, maybe, this all is not a big deal if you surrender and accept Microsoft as your overlord)

I tried a few ways to stop Windows from updating automatically, but nothing worked (Maybe, I should try again).

Maybe I should dual boot Linux, but that brings a whole new set of things that I'd have to deal with, doesn't it?

Sigh

TIP:
To anyone and everyone ranting about the automatic restart of their Windows 10 system,
Settings > Update > Advanced Options > Notify to schedule restart (instead of Automatic).
Yes, it IS that simple.
God.

MOTHERFUCK. FUCKING WINDOWS DID IT AGAIN TABARNAK!

Today, I was hoping to study some DB optimization for an exam tomorrow. How foolish of me to think that MOTHERFUCKING FUCKTARD WINDOWS WOULD NOT CHOOSE THIS EXACT MOMENT TO INSTALL THE FUCKING ANNIVERSARY UPDATE. Because it di. It took 2 hours to insert it's fucking update in my ass. FUCK.

I don't know why devs would choose to work for the devil, but for those who did create this update system, I HOPE YOU STEP ON LEGO BRICKS AND THAT YOUR AUDIO IS ALWAYS OUT OF SYNC WITH YOU VIDEO ON NETFLIX.

This better be the bestest update in the whole wide world

are you Windows Update? because you can literally fuck right off and die.

Apple being funny. 201.6 MB Update :)

Now THIS is what I call an update 💯👏

Am I the only one who never got fucked over by windows update? 😕

Today a few friends got together and built my gfs new computer. I just watched because.... I'm a hardware n00b :p

Anyways, it took them about 2 hours building all the stuff together and now we're done installing Windows from via disc. The problem is, it's 2015 windows. So we're updating.
And it already takes more time to update windows than building the actual computer.

Nice!

(Btw that's me in the background, super [not] comfy codepen-ing)

Services > Windows Update > Disabled > Apply > OK

You have -7 days to update thr app.

Go home Messenger your drunk

Hard lesson:
Don’t update your OS while a project is still not finished, or at least on critical state of a project

2 things I can not understand.
1)how my programming works.
2)what the fuck this new update of what's app about??? A status? fuck!

Worst update ever. Fuck I can not handle videos and photos of people who sends useless messages. Fuck!! 😫😫😫😫

I can't play Overwatch because Windows 10 update is taking forever :(

goddammit Microsoft, why do I have to remove your fkking internet explorer icon and store icon after every update! noo I don't want it in my bar. gtfo! leave my settings as they were! How hard can it be? Think: does this fuck up someone s personal settings? if yes , DON'T DO IT.

*BSOD appears
*PC Restarts
*Windows updating (oh shit)
*Windows taking forever to finish update
*Me getting angry
*Me press Enter with Anger (while windows updating..)
*Login Screen appears immediately

Oh ok.. wish I knew that from the beginning..
or it's coincidence.. 🤔🤔

Whatever.. *Opens Android Studio*

I just spent 15 minutes trying to figure out why my school WiFi was so slow. Turns out, windows was downloading an update, ON HIGHEST FUCKING PRIORITY. Fuck you windows

It should be FUCKING ILLEGAL to show intrusive popups on the web AND on the desktop. The fucking moron 'developers' who do this type of crap should be fined in the $M range and then banned from using a fucking computer ever again.

It's one fucking thing when a crappy program shows an intrusive update popup when you open it (see notepad++, FileZilla and more), but when I am not even using your fucking malware, but you still shove an update popup in my face while I'm working is just on the next fucking level.

There should be a law that makes this kind of retarded bullshit illegal....

Call me a spoiled Linux kid but FUCK WINDOWS UPDATE!!
It's not even the shitty deployment cycle that they have for their updates, the real cancer is the fucking update app.
First off, if you fucking piece of shit already have the audacity to load gigabytes of updates over my 0.8mbit/s connection in the background, without my goddamn consent, at least let me PAUSE the fucking download!!! I don't see why the fuck you have to block my connection, and therefore me, from the most basic things like visiting a fucking website for more than a FUCKING HOUR to load useless updates, YOU PIECE OF BLOODSTAINED SHIT, I GOT SHIT TO DO.
And it doesn't stop there, noooo: then you even have the bloody fucking nerve to FORCE ME TO INSTANTLY RESTART AND SIT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING 40 MINUTE UPDATE PROCESS WHILE IM TRYING TO WORK.. WITHOUT THE ABILIT TO DELAY THE UPDATE!!! What the fuuuck?!

It is seldom that I am this 👌 close to just dd'ing /dev/null to my windows partition. Fuck you!!

If you're using snapchat you might want to go on it immediately and change your privacy settings.
New update came out, they added a map with everybody's locations down to a couple of meters in accuracy... And the feature is on by default for EVERYONE to see, not just your friends.

What the actual fuck were they thinking?? Just think of all the ways this can go wrong.

Me: We have to update the platform, but before doing this we should backup it.

Client: Ok, but a backup is not enough. What if we were not able to revert to the previous version? We should perform a manual copy.

Me: ... 🤦🏻‍♂️

I finally did it!
A full rewrite of dr has happened and it is now more efficent!
If you are a dr user, make sure to re-clone the repo and run the build script again!

Next up:
- speed improvements
- dr update command
- MOTD support

4x4ghz CPU, 16gb of RAM, 100mbps downstream and 1tb ssd... and it took windows only 2 hours and 4 restarts to install an update...WTF

After investigation, I'm just refreshing my os and hoping I can reconfigure work applications. Feel bad, but help desk friends are getting me the software to install and are helping me out on a day off.

Wasn't the application like I thought. It was the useless update that won't install and therefore can't be rolled back but is still getting in the way of my work, therefore they can all daisy chain their dicks together in the sane manner little kids make daisy crowns, and then have a steamroller head towards them with faulty brakes (steamroller operator is innocent in this scenario, he jumps out safely).

I'm planning on calling Microsoft in the morning to tell them what I think of them at the moment. But I'm too angry to form words that don't sound petty and childish. I'm open to suggestions.

Partner of ours claimed they are going to update their api. No breakage. My hopes were low and they did not disappoint.

Soon after the new version of their api went live, of course, loads of breakage. And the email contact with them is really fun.

Me: "Hello, since your update we get the issue A. Here's the complete communication."

Them: "We did not change the existing behavior. You are doing X wrong. Repeat that one call during the step and you should be fine."

Me: "Thank you, if I repeat the call, it does indeed work, albeit slower, since we are now repeating calls. Furthermore, our application was consuming your api for years and we did not change anything. So why is that step necessary now? Only after your update do our logs show errors from your API. And by the way, we now also have a issue with B. Why is that?"

Them: "Oh that's because your query the endpoint with "Fnord", try "Baz".

Me: "Yes, I do know that we query it with "Fnord" as that is what a previous endpoint of yours is responding to us. Why are we getting "Fnord"? What request do I have to make to get a "Baz" back?"

It feels like a game of wackamole. Squash one issue, ten more will pop up. I am one step away from becoming active-aggressive.

Windows 10 "update" just broke itself... I can't wait for game companies to start building more games for Linux so I don't have to spend my free time fixing my spywar... I mean operating system

Is it normal that I get really excited when I see a new VS Code update or there is something wrong with me?

Had no internet for hours.
Called the support.
"We will fix it!" they said and they actually did. So maybe there are competent people working there as well???

No. Of course not.

Two hours later I receive a call from them. "It was not our fault. There was an update so we had to plug the cables back into the right ports."

Software update
Physical connections

Wat

When Java wants to update your pharmacy....

Windows Update.

Enough said 😤

P.S. been 2 hours already 😭

So you want to write some notes on your surface pro 3...

Windows 10: UPDATE TIME!

Me after two minutes:

Everything was ready before you fucking wanted to update...

Hey, I´m through with the Win10 update.
That was fast. And no problems! Everything seems to be working.

Wait...
Android SDK not found...
Java not found ...
Seems all my environment variables are gone.
Even better all the standard variables are wrong too.
My Home Drive is now "H:" ?
What the hell?

Visual Studio 2017 15.7.1, smallest update ever… ~8 MB.

Windows: would you like to update?
Me: no not rn I'm currently on battery and traveling, let me just quickly restart.
Windows: Okay I'll install the latest updates for you.
Me: oh FFS

I must say I like the new Chrome look and feel update.

OH FUCKING GREAT. GOOGLE CHROME UPDATE 53 JUST BROKE MY PARALLAX WEBSITE. FUCCCCKKKKK

Just updated devRant and out of curiosity scrolled down to look at the recommended apps - wtf
I'm not depressed and I know English already?
Btw update looks nice 😉

Windows asks to update. I say no and 10min later i get this casual update continuing.

Glad i have a say in life

Just realized Windows 10 update "Restart Now" button doesn't have a confirmation/cancel screen unlike the normal power options.
Learned it the hard way when I just wanted to change the time it restarts and clicked restart now by accident.
Goes to show how forced these updates are .-.

Update?! Fuck windows.

While playing Tower Unite, i spammed my spacebar.
Windows opened a window that i confirmed that something by spamming my spacebar.

It's a stupid windows 7 update.
Thank's windows..........

I LOVE the new update guys! Great work! Been wanting this for so long 😍

I've had it with these automatic updates that I didn't ask for, especially when I'm trying to switch my machine off!
How about asking me first if I want that damn update?
Why do they have to be shoved down my throat?!

That's it! I'm switching my OS!

Who already loves the new update?

I sometimes feel Windows keeps on pushing useless updates, just to mess with the users. Change a single line of code (or rather just add a comment) and push the entire module as new.

How can it be everytime I boot on my windows device, it has an update.

EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. TIME.

Same goes for you steam.

Windows keeps uninstalling touchpad drivers after update and tells that i didn't need them, well touchpad is not working after uninstalling drivers you fuck.

Do I want to continue?
Y -> vacation lost (Production server is down).

N -> Ok, I will gather more packages for you to update next time.
😭😭

FFFUUUU!!!
Damn Windows april update!
After a LOT of problems with drivers, bluetooth, etc. it even partially corrupted the font of a program, the console shows a list of data from a medical image database so i had a micro heart attack when i first saw this tinking the database was corrupted (i was checking out a problem)!
I bet it's the "smart" font re-sizing!!!

YAY, SDK UPDATE

Okay then, everything's fine, I'm sure this is normal... Windows went to sleep mode while applying an update.

A new update has been made to dr!

For us lazy People:
You can now make a file at ~/ called .dr.conf
In the first line of the file, put your username
In the second line, put your password

Dr will now automatically log in

(Yes I know this is insecure)

Also, for installation:
Cd build/
Sh ./build-linux.sh

I just wanted to turn off my throw it in my backpack and go home. But freaking Windows has just decided that this is a great time for an update 😡

So windows decided to be the cunt it is once again!
I turned my windows to sleep cause I was gonna have dinner and I don't fucking know what the fuck windows think "sleep" is but after around 10 minutes a hear a sound of a device getting unplugged (I use an external mouse)
Fuck! Fucking shit, you dimwit, you decided to perform a goddamn update? An update? Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me, I did an update around a week or two ago! And my laptop was on sleep for a motherfucking reason! All my tabs...all those fucking tabs and programs
How the fuck can you update when I only kept it in sleep you shitnugget?!
What kind of asshole does that? I had unsaved files man
And now it restarted twice and no, this motherfucking cunt couldn't even apply the updates; just fucking rolled back!

MS Teams - updated. Chats - gone. Good update, MS 👍

Windows update is karma

me: alright let me print this now.

*goes downstairs*

printer: *on the display* ... Printing ...
printer: *on the display* ... Printing ...
printer: *on the display* ... Printing ...

*no paper to be seen*

me: why isn't this working?

*checks computer upstairs.*

computer: *popup* We have an update scheduled for 17:40, we can install it then or, if you like, now.

me: oh, ok.

Windows Update..

1803 I think..

Lost my graphic drivers again..

Great, 4 monitors and only one is working !

Yesterday a windows update somehow managed to corrupt my arch linux partition and I eventually had to spend the whole day recovering what was left because I needed it for today. Well... yesterday was also my girlfriends birthday..

another big applaus for windows 10 update getting stuck and fucking up my whole GRUB!
I'm not even able to boot from live cd or select OS by UEFI anymore..

Fuck me. I have to update an Android app I have built 2 years ago. So much have changed, I need to update pretty much every dependency I have and no library seems to compile with the latest Android SDK yet.

I feel like Dr. Strange living the 14,000,605 possibilities when trying different library versions.

It's probably easier to rewrite everything. Now in Kotlin.

Not a rant. But about Windows 10, because some asked "why are there only rants about it?"

The day before yesterday: When switching off my PC, I noticed the shutdown options were "Update and restart" and "Update and shutdown". I chose the latter and went to bed.
Yesterday: I switched on my PC, Windows takes some extra seconds at "Installing updates, 99% done" and... I'm on my desktop. All is well. As unspectacular as it can get.

For me, that is every update experience since Windows 7, ever.

Uhhhh !!! No standard way for electron apps to auto-update on Linux.

WTF !!!

Update on my previous rant -

Mac restart after upgrade got stuck due to a fucking corrupted kext file, had to switch between recovery and safe/verbose mode to isolate that bastard, move him out of the folder and then do a clean restart.. Then, after 7 hours, it said 15 minutes remaining to complete installation...

Finally, it came up fine, doing healthy :)

Dear Mac, You, Sir, gave me a scare during a restart and are becoming like Windows (note: bsod) :(

Update: I'm going to do the programming course after all. I've decided on it.

Why can't big companies like Facebook include a fucking change log I the update description in App Store?

My overall experience with Spring Creators Update

Ok, so many people rant about windows update. It can fuck up things, starts unexpectedly (after 100 warnings and messages letting you choose when but ok) and it takes too long to update.

I use Windows daily so I update regularly and never takes more than 5 mins. 20 when its a major update twice a year. So let's talk about Linux.

Yesterday I wanted to try out .net core on Linux so I booted my antergos vm to do it. TLDR: Didn't do shut because, surprise, Linux updates.

So apparently I downloaded the wrong version of visual studio code. Uninstall and install the right one then. Nope, can't do that. Some dependency must be updated. That dependency is on the highest version on the AUR, I have to get a different one. Ok, no problem. But I can install the other because uninstalling the original breaks more dependencies. Well fuck then.

So I decided I'd do a full system update with pacman, shouldn't take long. 1.6gb worth of update. I have 200mb download so it should be fast right? Well, I had to wait a couple of hours.

So I couldn't do anything on my afternoon because of Linux updates. That's an original rant isn't it?

And before the comments get here, yeah I know it's arch, it's difficult and all that. This isn't about being hard to do. It's just annoying and making me lose time.

Personal update:
So i have been to psychiatrist few days ago. I got a prescription for anti depression drugs and today is the 4th day of my therapy. I feel a bit better. At least i can sleep can focus on things. Unfourtanetly mentaly i dont feel better. That rant that i wrote before didnt help me neither (i deleted it). That drug that im taking has a shit ton of possible side effects uncluding anger. My massive untrust to people dosent help neither.

To anybody who didnt read the previous rant. I have meet a classmate that had a idea for a android app. I have fought he is one of that bad, stupid kind. I was wrong i said bad things to him but eventualy i helped him by showing where he can get help with the app.

I shouldnt have responded to him in the first place. Now i feel bad. I have no idea how you are going to respond im scared. I prejudged him but im now sorry. I have no idea how my life is going to go.

I also have tried applying for a awesome C# internship, perfect for a student: paid and might get experience in C#. I have send them 2 emails on the address that they gave me during open days (where i had talked with HR and devs personaly about their job) and i got no responce since last month...

Finals for the first semester are closing in as well. I dont know if im going to pass or not. And that is the worst thing i have to worry about now.

"Windows update can't install updates because of the following programs:
-VMWare 15.0
Please uninstall or update the program"

Wtf? I had to uninstall it, fortunately I didn't use it anymore.

Me - sits down to code
Windows - need to install small update
Me - skip
Windows - HELL NO UPDATE
6 hours later.......
Update faild.

Ummm.. I'll update the app then to its current version itself, I guess...

Wtf F-Droid ?

Bugs fixed, bugs have been fixed, bugs removed, daily bug fixing, bugs have been weekly fixed, update, daily update, weekly update, ...

"UPDATE IS COMING"

So I'm basically my family's IT guy, as you'd expect, but this is just pulling my hairs.

My mom's laptop has a weird error message saying something about a corrupt windows update database.

Not wanting to mess the system up, I decided to factory reset the computer and see if that helped.

During the factory reset, windows tells me that it can't delete all files, and that another factory reset might be in order.

Alright, I don't think any more of it and proceed to setup the account on the computer, everything works fine.

Next day I decide to run windows update on it just to see if everything works as it should, the computer restarts and immediately BSoDs on me. Upon reboot the same error from before the system reset pops up again, and I'm back to square one.

Fuck windows and all its constant issues

My Win 10 stopped updating 2 months ago. "Windows update database error" it says. No fix worked, the only thing to do (according to Microsoft assistance) is to reinstall the whole system. Only because i clicked on "postpone" to the last one.

I really miss Windows 7...

Just when I need to update, Google says no 😒

*visual studio installer needs to update*

Oh for fuck sake, who's bloody idea was that...

Update Table_Name Set Column_Name = ‘New Value’;

Commit;

I did this on prod and my manager started screaming on me.

Is there any issue in it?

- New Windows installation
- Decides to update windows
- 5 hour leater:
- Still updating: 2/583727
- Thinks Linux is better
- Stay in front of my computer waiting for the update to finish

So yesterday, after standing an hour in line at college to pay for a reexamination, I got sent home along with 20 other people. The reason? The pc with the student database had to update windows.

"Dear Windows staff,

To think a fatal error screen can be shown beautifully is likeable.
To add in a QR code to be redirected to some assistance is likeable.
But like things that are likeable, THEY DON'T NEED TO BE REGULARLY SHOVED TO THE FACE !

Sincerest regards,
One who desperately wants to shutdown Windows Update once and for all.

[UPDATE] on my newly joined internship

Considering how corporate the organisation is, I'm surprised how chill everyone is. My team consists of mostly millennials, which is great!
Everyone is super helpful, I honestly thought it'd be shitty experience joining in and it'd all be so formal but none!
First few days I got no work, so I went and asked my mentor and he just laughed and said go home, watch Netflix, which I definitely didn't expected cause corporates

I got web testing work twice (sad I didn't get more, but in time it will increase), got some research work currently which is cool too.

Honestly, I wasn't excited to join as I didn't know what kinda work would I even get(it was pretty vague) but I'm glad I got this.
I'll continue to update here, and sorry I couldn't update any sooner

Cheers my dudes

Is Windows programmed to update as soon as you're done for the day?!? 🤔😫

another windows 10 FORCE UPDATE just messed up my whole system. My mouse is not working properly, every app is become unresponsive within a few minutes, every window is needing life time to load, every folder is needing lifetime to navigate, Android Studio is taking hours to fire up. Why Microsoft!! WHY!!!???

To all those whining about sudden windows 10 update, or don't want to update their windows, please go to
Administrative tools->services->Disable windows update.
Enough of blue screens in my devRant feed.

What's up with the long windows update?
It's been 3 hours now :/

Windows: restarting in 10 seconds

Me: probably just a bug or something like that *click OK button*

10 seconds later

Me: it's no a bug! IT'S NOT A BUG! let me save my stuff

(I don't now why windows did that it made some kind of update without warning except for the 10 seconds and then I had some problem s like I couldn't connect to a SQL server and the computer was super slow)

So, whenever I delay windows 10 update restart a few times, things start breaking. Wifi doesn't work, 100% cpu, ram or mem usage, sound problems etc. And all this goes away once I submit my soul and update. I'm sick of this shit 😡. Today I got a BSOD after which it updated and things seem fine FOR NOW.
Does this happen to other Win 10 users?

It's technically impossible for this update not to fuck everything up.

Oh, I use Arch Linux btw.

What a crappy unreliable way to handle issues during software update. App name is Mi Fit.

This is what you get when you buy 30$ smart bands. Keep trying until your update is successful.

Best update ever 😁

Why do I always assume it'll be a quick update...

So our city’s bus service provider has decided to update the software for their “iPoints”, I think they haven’t thought this rollout through.

I see a lot of rants about Linux dual boot with Windows and Windows update fucks up grub. So I bought a new ssd and reinstalled Linux, but damn.. its always a lot of work to make everything work again. Every time I still learn new things and I don't have to be afraid anymore after Windows update

New, windows update

maybe, that's a minor update to your policy, but it's a major update to my privacy. No, thanks.

when will the next update roll out? (devrant unofficial uwp)

I think the changelog will be an essay.....

@JS96

Undoing a security patch with an Update ! Well done Apple 🤣

The newest Win10 Update freed up 13GB on a 32GB laptop, so fucking happy, holy shit - I had to watch every little thing that couldn't go onto the microsd because windows was always leaving me only max. 2GB, now I can just blast it all onto the fast storage!

Initiate update of 1 nuget (20+ projects)
Go poop
Come back
It's not done yet

Every windows update makes me feel like buying a mac

Just upgraded to a pending windows update.

Worst decision of my life.

#fml

Needed to update one column in table A with data from table B (huge table).

Created awesome update query with join between the two tables.

A few hours later realized all data in table A is already being imported from table B in a query executed earlier in the process...

Regarding the Aug 19 devRant update - I am amazed at what you guys do. We are fortunate to have @dfox and @trogus building devRant and listening to the community input. It gets better each month. Onward and upward!

Years ago, Microsoft didn't update your Windows without asking!

Me, doing a large update on a table without backup and dry run.

When windows decides to force you to update when shutting down, like no problem, not like I have a fucking deadline or anything.

When windows update breaks external audio card 😫

I don't know about alcohol , but this windows update crap is going to give me cancer one day 😠

First allocate all day..

W10 Update time !

Then, watch as your multi-monitor setup loses its drivers and only 2 of your 4 monitors are working..

Meanwhile, still not done all the updates, and CPU is running wild doing some kind of indexing..

Joyful..

A bit like playing wack a mole as you try and guess which monitor Windows is going to boot to this time around..

Oh look, its gone for the portrait one, this time in landscape mode, good thing I can tilt my head enough..

Also a good thing I have one of those icon position restore apps, or they would be all over the place again once I get things back to where they should be..

Have you done your updates . . .

I never asked for a automatic update

TLDR; macOS wouldn’t update to the version I needed because I have a 3rd party SSD. All I needed was a firmware update only found deep within a google search and a secondary SO answer.

I have a video edit project this weekend. No big deal.

Except that the Final Cut Pro project was saved in the latest version of FCPX, for which I need latest MacOS version

As a music producer on the side, I had heard the new file system of MacOS High Sierra would possibly break audio plugins. I didn’t bother updating until now. Looked further into plugin problem, it would be simply a broken hard link which I can easily fix. No big deal.

Except that I have upgraded my MBP SSD from 256gb to this 3rd party 480gb SSD. macOS does not recognize this SSD as compatible with update. No big deal. Simple google search for a terminal command would do the trick.

Except that I found and tried several solutions, including wasting an entire hour updating the original ssd and booting from that to try to update it.

Nothing worked, but deep down in the google search, found in a secondary answer on SO, there was a link for a beta release of a firmware update for the SSD that took two minutes to install, and I was finally able to update.

That firmware update needs to be more prominent everywhere. Wasted well over 3-4 hours updating crap, swapping out SSDs, and googling when all I needed was a fucking firmware update.

Update CM Nightly now i have Android 7.1
Whoops GApps not working
What Chrome also...
Laptop is already off
CM Browser is working, download new gapps and install

Working👌
Cyanogen you are GREAT

microsoft office on a mac:

update the updater, so you can update your office

Windows update process takes half an hour. Restart pc.
A message: "updates have been installed" ...

Ffs You think I didn't notice? And why is there no more information? What exactly did you need this half hour of updating for? At least give me a changelog, or the biggest changes.

"You're the kind of programmer who pushes windows update every fucking time I need my pc".

The feeling of joy when you really have to finish something and a automated windows update deletes your IDE because windows assumes it isn't compatible with the new update.

!rant
So...i have lost the count of the number of posts ranting about W10 sudden restarts because of the updates. Many people lost their valuable work and many more were just annoyed by this occurence...
But it has NEVER happened to me. Every time there was a pop-up message asking me if it was an appropriate time to update. On some occassions i would postpone the same update for numerous times, and it still did not force-restart my laptop.

Question: Is my machine buggy or do people do not know how to set working hours on their machines and postpone their updates?