Devs: We need access to PROD DB in order to provide support you're asking us for.

Mgmt: No, we cannot trust you with PROD DB accesses. That DB contains live data and is too sensitive for you to fuck things up

Mgmt: We'll only grant PROD DB access to DBAs and app support guys

Mgmt: <hire newbies to app support>

App_supp: `update USER set invoice_directory = 54376; commit;`

I have nothing left to say....

  • 12
    With us, before DML can be run in Prod, it has to be run in Dev, ITest, UAT, and QA. I don't have Prod access as a DBA, but that is fine with me, because I just design and implement the DDL objects in the lower environments. Although, come to think of it, our Devs can run DML in Prod, but not without an approved change request. Run in Prod without a CR, and you get walked out the door. Change management is a great thing.
  • 9
    Never ever work on prod data.
    Let the management decides.
    I know Devs what it feels like.

    Mg : need to fix x in prod.
    Me : yes i can give me access. I can do it.
    Mg : here you go
    Me : okay fixed.
    Mg : wtf something of y broke
    Me: i didnt do anything with y. And x is not related to y at all.
    Mg : you got access to prod. Its your responsibility you fucked up.
    Me : wtf. Anyways i will fix it and fixed.

    And told them change fucking credentials and never come to again.
  • 4
    Don’t worry, a company like that won’t be around for long.
  • 6
    @zotigapo well it WAS mgmt's decision. Giving app-level access to prod db to some rookies rather than people who built the whole thing and actually care and know what they're doing

    @bkwilliams too bad it's a gov company. It's gnot going anywhere :(
  • 3
    I sometimes find production database credentials in the batch files in the Unix server. It.. took a lot of strength not to.. you know.
  • 3
    @rutee07 good for you! I try out db creds right away every time I find them 😁
  • 2
    Is this how the apocalypse starts?
  • 0
    Mgmt... the band?
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