15
Elendil
16d

I just wanted to get this off my chest.
There we go, that time is finally coming: all of my friends are starting to look for jobs; we are all about to graduate, but i feel no desire to move forward... I wish i had their optimism, but all i feel is terror and panic every time they bring up the topic...

I have no plan, no idea of what might happen, and i don't feel like i am particularly competent in anything: I do not have much to offer to society, surely not in terms of technical skills: i'm a real shitty programmer with the attention span of a goldfish.
I am passionate about a bunch of topics, but i am not competent at them in any meaningful way: I like reading about x86 Assembly or Operating System design, but if you'd ask me to write them i wouldn't be able to really. Its all superficial, i read these things for fun but i never really accomplished anything.

And i know this is all in my head, that as soon as i find anything its probably gonna be fine, i just wish i had the enthusiasm and drive that people around me seem to have, instead of acting like a little bitch :)

Comments
  • 1
    Examine the aspects you enjoy, like the research etc. The skills you learn are ultimately transferable. You don’t have to be a developer!!!!! Think about the best fit for you with your skills and the things you enjoy, find the career that fits that and go forth with the enthusiasm to get there. The fact you are questioning this shows your maturity. The goal is to enjoy your working life and be paid for doing it! Don’t be disheartened, just don’t use their career goals as a benchmark for yours!
  • 4
    The last part hits the nail in the head: "seem to have"

    I guarantee that they too are scared out of their pants about getting a job. Most are probably stressing about not getting a job at all, some have crippling imposter syndrome and some are just confident in their ignorance.

    Don't measure yourself against them. It's a sure-fire way of feeling bad about yourself. Truly, the only person you need to best is your old self.

    Lastly, stop acting like a bitch (­čÖâ) and focus on your resumé and interviewing skills. Polish that shit and go sell yourself.
  • 1
    Well you don't have to be a dev, do you now :) there are many, MANY areas your curiosity could be used. Qa, support, *ops, analyst, automation spec., performance spec., etc.

    Dedicate a week to investigate what's out there. Once you know it, the fear and panic will be no more
  • 3
    Imposter Syndrome? Just do like the rest of us and fake it 'til you make it.
  • 1
    Oh you will learn in practice. As beginner, you will probably be put into some legacy project where you will face all the shitty practices of your predecessors.

    The pain will teach you how to design and code properly, and the acquired skills will last well for many years.

    Basically until you become senior dev and can afford to shit code again because it will be some juniors who will have to maintain that. ;-)
  • 1
    An employer that requires you have a college degree doesn't really care about the knowledge you gained in college. All graduates in a new job are clueless. That isn't impostor syndrome, it's just reality. Any company that hires you will do so for one or both of two reasons: 1) To turn you into a valuable employee through training and experience, and 2) to make you do tedious, boring, unpleasant work that the people with seniority and experience don't want to do.

    It's referred to in the music business as, "paying your dues," though it's applicable to any field.
  • 1
    Lots of good advice above. In attempt to add something new:

    Don't be so hard on yourself. You gotta stay positive. I know it's hard, but a positive mindset is like a muscle. You gotta exercise it. Your mindset leads you subconsciously. So, adopt a positive one, and positive things will follow.

    You have your whole life ahead of you. It's never too late to get it on the right track. If you are just graduating, you are young. You probably don't believe it. You probably feel like the world is expecting you to be at a 10 when you feel like you are only at a 4. Screw that. Do what makes you happy. I was 32 by time I realized I was living the life others wanted for me and not the one I wanted. I changed career paths, went back college, got a new job, and even a new wife...completely changed everything about my life. And it was all worth it.

    Keep your chin up. Remember that life is just a series of lessons. You never stop learning. Choose a path that makes you happy and walk it joyfully.
  • 1
    1/2 I am what they would call a "multipotentionalite" these days - basically a soft way of saying jack of all trades, master of none. I used to beat myself up about it and get envious of people who do 100% development or 100% graphic design because their progress is so quick and they have lazer focus. But I could never focus on anything for a long time without getting interested in some tangent field, because to me understanding that tangent field meant getting a deeper understanding of the original subject. I went from cinematography to photography to writing to music to graphic design and now learning development. What's interesting is that some recent experiences have shown that having a wide understanding of a particular field or ecosystem is an asset of its own that gives you a better understanding and visibility of all the parts that comprise the whole. In my case it was a wide understanding of the creative process.
  • 1
    2/2 Each thing I learned about each one of those fields continues to fuel and inform the new things that I learn today. Learning music surprisingly helped me improve my photography by teaching me to be more sensitive to the natural energy and continuity/flow of life. Learning photography gave me a head start in graphic design because I learned color, image formats, and Photoshop. Everything you learn is going to play its part down the line - it will bleed into your projects, giving you extra insight or original creative solutions. Embracing my natural curiosity has helped me find more comfort and confidence in my work. Maybe it could help you too.
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