What happens when you talk to clients.

Arghhh. Fucking hate when clients can’t be bothered to write an email but instead ring you up and spout off a load of important information regarding a project you worked on last week. When you are deep in another project, and expecting me to give answers. JUST FUCK OFF YOU BASTARD! This twat does it all the time.

After about 7 hours continuous work in any one day, I’ve kinda had enough and noticed that work beyond this point is usually shit. I stopped trying and think fuck it now. Deadlines are mainly bollocks anyway. My life is a lot better because of it. Don’t do today what you can put off til tomorrow.Who’s with me?

What the fuck is wrong with the designers? We have had meetings with the client, a proposal drawn up, a project spec written, budget agreed, witeframes drawn up exactly to spec. Designer involved in all stages for input and ideas. Now the designers have the wireframes, they are supposed to create based on these. No they make up what goes on the pages that bare no resemblance to the wireframes in terms of requirements. I am fucking fuming. I have sent the designs back with a note. Please provide designs based on the wireframes.

This is ace. If you are on mac get nova from panic.

https://nova.app/

Client texts me ‘can you resend the link to the test page with the video’
My response as not at my desk but remember the page name
Me: Sure it’s ‘website/vtest.php’
Client: i copied the url into my desktop browser and it doesn’t work.
Me: replace ‘website’ with your actual web address.

Dumb Fucking Clients

Thinking of auto adding ‘you dumb fuck’ to every email I send to a client. Fucking useless time wasting bastards.
Example: I’ve forgotten my password for the cms can you send me a link to reset it.

The login page has a link clearly labelled ‘forgot password?’.

I send a screen grab with a big red circle around the link and some polite text, which I was desperate to add ‘you dumb fuck’

A typical (Covid) day (for me) being self employed. I tend to start working at around 8am, only break to make coffee, and by 3:30 in the afternoon I fall asleep til 5pm. Then I get some food, play my bass, mess around in garage band, drink a bottle of wine, watch some crap movie, go to bed around 1:00am rinse and repeat. I never work weekends anymore. Interested to know your Covid day,.

There’s 2days to get this 5 years VPN deal for $69.99 in total. Ivacy VPN. I am not a spammer just thought id share with my fellow ranters....

https://www.ivacy.com/deal/

Thank me l8r

I’m 100% Mac and I use Coda. by panic. However they are working on a new editor called Nova which is in private beta.
https://panic.com/nova/

Yep we are all remote workers, but we all go in to the office every morning to clock in, and then back at 5:30 to clock out. I see a potential problem with transmission at these 2 points in the day. Plus the office is an hour away for most people and we all use public transport.

Anybody here involved with SIMS online services for schools (UK) I think it’s done by Capita. Because it is the biggest pile of shite I have seen (as a parent from UX UI perspective). I would gladly visit your establishment with an axe and ensure you would never do anything so bad again.

Been using this to generate quick visual site maps for estimates n’shit, just thought i’d share
https://www.gloomaps.com

Shit! I got an invite to get an echo auto, but I can’t get it ‘cos it’s not available in the UK! I am sick of the radio. I just wanna play my own playlists...argh.

Radio Fucking One. Shit music and Dick heads talking about TV programmes involving the fake tanned brain dead chavs dating/talking about each other and this bollocks is contaminating our youth and should be stopped. Bastard shit bollocks.

Being a Mac user (desktop), when I have a browser window open I NEVER have it occupy full width, usually around 2/3rds width of monitor. Now a client sending me screen grabs from PC always have their browser window absolute max width. Is this a normal thing for PC users? just intrigued, am I the odd ball here?

The piece of shit ‘edge’ is now available on Mac... Yippee!

I wonder what impact the launch of Affinity Publisher will have on Adobe, now that their core creative suite has been re-imagined by Affinity. Ive been using the beta and it pisses on inDesign. Good work Affinity !

Fuck off chrome you faulty fucking excuse for a browser.

When you take a job, take a long look at the people you’re going to be working with — because the odds are you’re going to become like them, they are not going to become like you. You can’t change them. If it doesn’t fit who you are, it’s not going to work.

Wish I had a computer wife like Plankton, it would make things far less complicated.

Right, budget constraints, in out project. Shop site. Lets go with a good online shop system (shopwired) and just brand up a suitable theme. Client wants to see design flats prior to starting. OK brief designer. Pick one of the themes that is close to their current brand styling. Grab the theme pages, set your browser to 1280. Mock up over the top with brand colours/fonts etc in Indesign and png the pages over to me (make sure we have them on google fonts). Designer comes back a few days later with branded up theme page visuals. Cool, they look great, shouldn’t take too long to rework the css and get this thing working. Client approves mockups. Great, so open the theme files and realise the designer has fucking moved stuff around. This has turned into something more than a styling job. Fucking hell. there goes my budget and deadline. Why don’t you designers ever fucking listen!!!!!
I should’ve done it myself but needed to save time as I’m already busy. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

Suffering from concentration, meaning my coffee is cold. I can’t drink cold coffee, it makes me retch. That’s the second cup today I’ve let die on me. It’s pissing me off now.

Having a look at ‘brave’ the new browser on the block over the coming weeks. It looks great on paper. Saying that it’s 8 times faster than chrome/safari. wondering what it’s dev tools will be like.
https://brave.com/

Wozniak, Apple don’t give a shit about what you think, they didn’t 34 years ago when you left and they certainly don’t today. Please stop commenting, you are irrelevant.

Well done Rami, you absolutely deserved it!

I discovered today why IOS is superior to joe public. Sorry but infinitely superior. Android just sucks. end of.

Travelling to the Toulouse Lautrec museum in France, ‘cos I am a massive fan of his work.

Had to ring the UK tax office, have to pay a sizeable amount by 31st Jan, but I have spent any savings on essential living based shit. I was dreading the call, but best to do it before 31st or you get an instant £100 fine. Well I was totally shocked to find a really lovely lady on the other end, she was most helpful and not like the cunt I got a few years back. It just goes to show that two people doing the same job with the same procedures and outcomes, 1 can be a complete cunt and the other kind and compassionate. Moral, there’s no need to be a cunt.

Thanks CSS, not sure if I should but I am using ‘vw’ unit for font-size on desktop as it scales according to browser width. It works a treat and saved some shitty reflow breakpoint requirements. Until someone tells me it’s a shit idea, i’m gonna use the fuckr.