devRant - A fun community for developers to connect over code, tech & life as a programmer

It’s my birthday today and I shall be doing fuck all, just like I have for all my others.

random

It came to me, a brilliant idea, a simple solution to an everyday problem and easy route to market. Great, starts looking for domains and writes down idea in full in case i forget. Later that day, picks up 12 year old son from school, tells him my great idea. He told me how shit it was and why straight away.

rant can’t see wood for trees

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Great article on getting shit done when you really can’t be arsed.
https://queue.acm.org/detail.cfm/...

rant can’t be arsed

2

Goodbye google+, you were totally shit and no-one used you. Piss off now.

rant google -

1

DO NOT UPDATE WINDOWS 10 (October Version 1809). Could permanently delete your documents and pictures.
https://forbes.com/sites/...

rant wk123

15

Client: Can I speak to the developer responsible for my website?
Developer: Speaking...
Client: You have a deep voice for a 5 year old.

rant wk123

14

Day 9 of non smoking (attempt no. 16). How do people cope without smoking? its so difficult. After phone call with client... go for a smoke. Get off plane/train go immediately to smoke. Done some good code/solved something, go for celebratory smoke. Have a rehearsal with my band... go for a smoke. Go to the pub...go for a smoke. It’s woven in to the fabric of my existence and unpicking it is a long and painful task. I don’t do the e-cig thing. I don’t want to swap addictions.

rant help

22

Right, just put next doors new garden furniture and gas fired barbecue stove on ebay... fancy a new iPhone XS. 😀

rant

3

Nearing the end of my holiday in this fantastic city that is Warsaw, Poland. Great place, lots to see and do. No computer only my phone, too scared to look at emails. Fuck them, everyone needs a break and change of environment. 👍🏼

rant

Outside photo of desk/setup or laptop.

For all those that stop reading after 6 words, I have changed the order for you. 😀

rant which bit of outside don’t you understand

1

Just interested, I am self employed, have been for over 12 years. As a matter of self inflicted policy I buy a brand new (desktop) computer every 3 years. For those company people how often is your kit replenished?

question new computer replenishment

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rant fucking clients

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The shittiest thing a sales guy has said in a meeting/client meeting.

devrant wk115

Fuck Off JPEG you piece of ancient shit. Hello HEIF! Not apple tech but they are certainly adopting it across the board (also replaces gif). Safari is the only browser supporting the format. Now we have to wait for every fucker else to arrive, could be 5 years for Mucroshite (wankers).

rant cool heif

7

I think we need to invent a word/phrase/choose an emoji even, something that describes a newbie post purely fishing for ++’s and stickers.
stickerworm🐛
I know thats shit, any suggestions?

random

2

Having to sort out the domain and hosting arrangements and dns management as the client has no clue where anything is or who owns what, and the previous web developer is intentionally not giving a fuck.

rant wk109

1

Does devRant have a minimum age? Noticed there are some very young people on here, children. I’m personally not comfortable with that, especially as i like to use expletives in my rants and comments, such as cunt, fuck, bastard, shit, wanker etc. What’s the official line on that?

question fucking minimum age

48

devRant suggestion: Comment Bump. Bump up the comments on a rant, the ones with most upvotes get bumped up to the top. Possible pitfalls, where comments have replies which could break the order and make no sense. I guess I just talked myself out of that one. Meh.

devrant suggestion

3

Don’t fight it, sleep/wank. Try again tomorrow.

rant wk107

POP mail, I just prefer it over IMAP, but I am probably the only one, and my reasons are questionable. But I care not.

rant imap fucks me off

4

Any iPhone app developers. desperately looking for a very basic app that controls iPad screen time. For example between the hours of 9pm and 9am the screen is locked and requires a passcode to use it. The passcode has to be different to the device passcode to be set by parent. Set for weekdays etc. a bit like you would set central heating. apps out there are way too involved and based on setting individual app time. Hope someone can do this, i guarantee it’ll sell. Keep it simple.

question iphone app screen time limit

1

If you want a laugh, take a look at the source code on indeed.co.uk https://indeed.co.uk Its a mixture of shit tables nested in divs, absolute positioning. its shocking. They are a big recruitment site in the UK.

rant fucking hell

Client Email: Are there any good templates on mailchimp we could use?
Me: Delete.

rant twat

Sad day tomorrow, my cousin passed away at the weekend. travelled to Wroclaw, Poland from Uk today. Funeral tomorrow. Not looking forward but glad I could make it. Sorry its not dev related but this is the best community and i feel like i can share stuff in here freely.

rant sad

2

This is brilliant, overdub of the senators and Zuckerberg. “You have a bean head”
you must watch it!
https://youtu.be/_zCDvOsdL9Q

joke/meme funny zuckerberg senators

1

useless fucking client bastards. i sent an email to all clients 2 months ago about gdpr and the impending deadline. Explaining that they need to update privacy and check webforms and internal procedures etc are compliant. I said I would help them implement any changes to their respective sites. Heard nothing from these fuckers... except this morning an email “what does the new gdpr mean for our website?”
FUCK OFF AND READ MY EMAIL, FOLLOW THE LINKS DO THE RESEARCH AND FUCKING SORT YOUR CUNTING SELVES OUT, I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING LAWYER.

rant useless bastard bitch cunts

2

Am I missing something here? Lets Encrypt auto renews SSL every 90 days....BUT it will fail if you have .htaccess re-direct set up to https. So you would have to switch off the https redirect, manually renew, then switch it back on again. Thats fucking crazy. I can’t find a way round this. The hosting co set this up but are encouraging people to buy one of theirs when the renewal fails. a cunning plot to get more of their own SSLs. Any ideas?

rant lets encrapped

7

I’m shocked, some of the hideously embarrassing questions these dim mother fucking senators have been asking Zuckerberg. Is this for real?

rant fucking circus of idiots

5

looks like devRant has gone April Fools on the ++’s

rant

I was at Leeds Central train station the other day, waiting for the platform to be announced on the screen in the main bit. I noticed a commotion to my right. There was a teenage girl screaming and writhing around on the floor, her mother was knelt on one knee trying to calm her. I walked over without thinking, I know nothing about Epilepsy or first aid, at a push I could probably figure out the recovery position from a faint diagram i have stored in the unused part if my brain...

(it’s where I keep the washing machine instructions, which incidentally were designed for maximum confusion, if Id designed a washing machine it would have 1 button labelled ‘wash’)...

Sorry, back to the story. So i walked over and just before I got there, with the mother looking directly at me, I realised, what the fuck am I doing, meanwhile the daughter was screaming still and writhing, a bit like a rapid angel print you would make in the snow as a kid (until your hand touched the dog shit).

I couldn’t help it, the words just came out, like a dumb fucker, i said ‘Has she got epilepsy?’ , i stood there waiting for the sarcastic comment or the murderous stare, even a fuck off would suffice, so that I could remove myself from the situation.

To my surprise, and shock, she looked at me, calmly and said “oh no, it’s not epilepsy or anything like that.... she’s lost her iPhone”.

rant ffs

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