devRant - A fun community for developers to connect over code, tech & life as a programmer

Just interested, I am self employed, have been for over 12 years. As a matter of self inflicted policy I buy a brand new (desktop) computer every 3 years. For those company people how often is your kit replenished?

question new computer replenishment

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rant fucking clients

12

The shittiest thing a sales guy has said in a meeting/client meeting.

devrant wk115

Fuck Off JPEG you piece of ancient shit. Hello HEIF! Not apple tech but they are certainly adopting it across the board (also replaces gif). Safari is the only browser supporting the format. Now we have to wait for every fucker else to arrive, could be 5 years for Mucroshite (wankers).

rant cool heif

7

I think we need to invent a word/phrase/choose an emoji even, something that describes a newbie post purely fishing for ++’s and stickers.
stickerworm🐛
I know thats shit, any suggestions?

random

2

Having to sort out the domain and hosting arrangements and dns management as the client has no clue where anything is or who owns what, and the previous web developer is intentionally not giving a fuck.

rant wk109

1

Does devRant have a minimum age? Noticed there are some very young people on here, children. I’m personally not comfortable with that, especially as i like to use expletives in my rants and comments, such as cunt, fuck, bastard, shit, wanker etc. What’s the official line on that?

question fucking minimum age

59

devRant suggestion: Comment Bump. Bump up the comments on a rant, the ones with most upvotes get bumped up to the top. Possible pitfalls, where comments have replies which could break the order and make no sense. I guess I just talked myself out of that one. Meh.

devrant suggestion

4

Don’t fight it, sleep/wank. Try again tomorrow.

rant wk107

POP mail, I just prefer it over IMAP, but I am probably the only one, and my reasons are questionable. But I care not.

rant imap fucks me off

4

Any iPhone app developers. desperately looking for a very basic app that controls iPad screen time. For example between the hours of 9pm and 9am the screen is locked and requires a passcode to use it. The passcode has to be different to the device passcode to be set by parent. Set for weekdays etc. a bit like you would set central heating. apps out there are way too involved and based on setting individual app time. Hope someone can do this, i guarantee it’ll sell. Keep it simple.

question iphone app screen time limit

1

If you want a laugh, take a look at the source code on indeed.co.uk https://indeed.co.uk Its a mixture of shit tables nested in divs, absolute positioning. its shocking. They are a big recruitment site in the UK.

rant fucking hell

Client Email: Are there any good templates on mailchimp we could use?
Me: Delete.

rant twat

Sad day tomorrow, my cousin passed away at the weekend. travelled to Wroclaw, Poland from Uk today. Funeral tomorrow. Not looking forward but glad I could make it. Sorry its not dev related but this is the best community and i feel like i can share stuff in here freely.

rant sad

2

This is brilliant, overdub of the senators and Zuckerberg. “You have a bean head”
you must watch it!
https://youtu.be/_zCDvOsdL9Q

joke/meme funny zuckerberg senators

1

useless fucking client bastards. i sent an email to all clients 2 months ago about gdpr and the impending deadline. Explaining that they need to update privacy and check webforms and internal procedures etc are compliant. I said I would help them implement any changes to their respective sites. Heard nothing from these fuckers... except this morning an email “what does the new gdpr mean for our website?”
FUCK OFF AND READ MY EMAIL, FOLLOW THE LINKS DO THE RESEARCH AND FUCKING SORT YOUR CUNTING SELVES OUT, I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING LAWYER.

rant useless bastard bitch cunts

2

Am I missing something here? Lets Encrypt auto renews SSL every 90 days....BUT it will fail if you have .htaccess re-direct set up to https. So you would have to switch off the https redirect, manually renew, then switch it back on again. Thats fucking crazy. I can’t find a way round this. The hosting co set this up but are encouraging people to buy one of theirs when the renewal fails. a cunning plot to get more of their own SSLs. Any ideas?

rant lets encrapped

7

I’m shocked, some of the hideously embarrassing questions these dim mother fucking senators have been asking Zuckerberg. Is this for real?

rant fucking circus of idiots

5

looks like devRant has gone April Fools on the ++’s

rant

I was at Leeds Central train station the other day, waiting for the platform to be announced on the screen in the main bit. I noticed a commotion to my right. There was a teenage girl screaming and writhing around on the floor, her mother was knelt on one knee trying to calm her. I walked over without thinking, I know nothing about Epilepsy or first aid, at a push I could probably figure out the recovery position from a faint diagram i have stored in the unused part if my brain...

(it’s where I keep the washing machine instructions, which incidentally were designed for maximum confusion, if Id designed a washing machine it would have 1 button labelled ‘wash’)...

Sorry, back to the story. So i walked over and just before I got there, with the mother looking directly at me, I realised, what the fuck am I doing, meanwhile the daughter was screaming still and writhing, a bit like a rapid angel print you would make in the snow as a kid (until your hand touched the dog shit).

I couldn’t help it, the words just came out, like a dumb fucker, i said ‘Has she got epilepsy?’ , i stood there waiting for the sarcastic comment or the murderous stare, even a fuck off would suffice, so that I could remove myself from the situation.

To my surprise, and shock, she looked at me, calmly and said “oh no, it’s not epilepsy or anything like that.... she’s lost her iPhone”.

rant ffs

5

Looking forward to getting my head around cssgrid, browser support looking good, soon be ready for primetime.

rant wk97

2

Flock ...the new Slack?

rant flock slack

4

This should put an end to those code formatting rants. Now everyone can be on the same page.
https://prettier.io/

rant code format standardise

3

Trying new things....
Half the battle is deciding wether to try it or not, the other half is deciding wether it’s shit or not.

rant new shit

I did a site for a hotel many years ago. They recently had it redone as a Turdpress site, it was terrible, I have just checked today and it redirects to a facebook page. Wondering if this is a trend that I am not aware of. The facebook page, however doesn’t sell the hotel like the website does/can.

rant facebook instead of site

1

What’s wrong with me?... Found myself spreading my finger and thumb on some food packaging cooking instructions hoping to zoom in and read it.

rant ...if only

5

Some backstreet fine artist come designer came to me wanting a website, her brief was a moonpig.com but for wedding stationery. I asked her if she had a million plus marketing budget for launch and a shit pile of cash, or was it just really some simple website that people can hire you to design bespoke wedding stationery. In the end she agreed it was just another basic website for peanuts. Either way the answer was fuck off, use squarespace or some other shit that you can fuck about in and cut me out of the process, I don’t want your tiny pittance and months of can you just.

rant fuck 2 bit clients with million plus dreams

1

1.1% of all Android devices are running the company’s latest software.

random just saying

3

When you try and edit a CSS file you did 3years ago.

rant lazy css leads to this

6

3.5 fucking hours wasted. Trying to get a fucking webform to post using smtp and swiftmailer. Fucking webforms, I fucking hate them. Done it now though.

rant cunting web forms