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Gender Bending For Fun and Profit.

I love how in the 'make your avatar' area, if you select female, and then click facial hair, theres nothing to select from.

Like a massive fuck you to every gender bending "down with meritocracy" purple haired dicksniffer in sanfran.

Also I'm sorely disappoint for desk items, theres no

1. giant dildos

2. anime figures/weeb shit

3. mini monoliths (I asked the site devs about this, they replied "we can't do that dave.")

4. a shirtless option for my female avatar

5. edgy scrolling numbers and code, like in the matrix

6. hoodies. They're the modern leather jacket.

7. Big nasty gnarly biker beard which I'm currently in the process of growing. How am I supposed to intimidate other anonymous cowards and mock them over the size of their beard compared to my own avatar's e-beard size? It's quiet girthy and lengthy, I assure you!

This is completely unrelated, but I thought devducks were like quick one-off debug sessions that could be bought from other devrant users.

I was disappointed when I discovered it was just merch.

On the otherhand I'm glad as fuck it's not. Site would be flooded by broken-english speaking goat humping dickheads.

How am I supposed to show off my ability to code with completely unrelated avatar change ups when no one will allow me to emasculate my avatar?

Comments
  • 6
    LOOK at her. My avatars wearing SANDALS with slacks, and a shirt that says "hello world."

    Thats like applying to nasa and under experience listing "played Kerbal Space program once."

    Also shes black and has blonde hair. Coding? Ain't nobody got time for that, sure not her. /s

    Edit: Added the sarcasm tag. Wouldn't want to be a racist.
  • 0
    @M1sf3t

    What is 'real life'?

    Only the internet exists, and you, god of the avatars. It would be a sin not to stop by your temple of profanity once and a while..to defile it.
  • 1
    The real crime is my inability to match this avatars hair colour and shoes. And no I am not changing the colour of the shoes
  • 0
    I think I hate you a little
  • 3
    A psychotherapist would be a better desk accessory for your avatar.
  • 2
    ok so dildos for april fools is actually a great idea
    @dfox please make it happen
  • 0
    @mundo03

    Then I've succeeded mwahahaha.
  • 1
    @inaba

    Underrated comment.
  • 0
    @BrainDrain

    Can it be like a garden gnome?

    With a clipboard?

    And problem glasses?
  • 0
    @Parzi

    I really was disappointed at the lack of dildos and big tiddied anime figures.
  • 1
    @Wisecrack I'd say "deep breaths" but there is a good chance you are hyperventilating already.

    Are things this illogical over there? I live in Europe, and all I've heard about this gender/race/whatever crap is stories and rumours.

    Has man and woman gone insane?

    P.S. Instead of dildos, may I propose actual tools of forceful enforcement? I know you have dreams of using a dildo on (or rather in) your manager, but I know you have more dreams using a sledgehammer on them ;)
  • 0
    > Are things this illogical over there? I live in Europe, and all I've heard about this gender/race/whatever crap is stories and rumours.

    Mainly confused people being mislead.

    Don't gaf either. Just want to have fun, and poke fun, and upset some people.

    Going smashingly, all except for upsetting people.

    Programmers appear impervious to offense.
  • 1
    @Wisecrack Well, programmers built 4chan so...

    Besides, calling someone names and shit will hurt them if they are overly emotional, and in our line of work, emotions don't get computers and code working (swearing and ranting about it do help us stay sane though)
  • 0
    @bladedemon

    sane is boring.

    go mad, the worlds crazy anyway.
  • 1
    While I'm all for dildos, do we really need them on the computer desk? I don't have a NAS in my bedroom drawer.
  • 0
    @platypus

    what the hell is a NAS?
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