SkillsLaying eggs, poisoning attackers. Fear the platypus!
LocationIn your closet...
Joined devRant on 7/9/2018
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Can anyone recommend good resources for learning how to design NoSQL (document) data models?
I'm interested in stuff that talks about how to make the choices about distributing data across collections, etc.
When to have a single collection, when to split data across different collections, when to duplication data, etc,6
Great. Facebook is building the social media system from Black Mirror's "Nosedive".
If there's anyone that could be trusted with that info it's our altruistic friends at Facebook.
What could possibly go wrong...?6
Had to built a "theme color" switcher for a website. Total waste of time, but the desktop app had it and customer was convinced it was a key feature.11
What's the best dev-related book you ever read?
I've sure I'm forgetting some, but I'll go with "Don't Make Me Think".
Thought I might see if there's anything intriguing I've not come across yet.4
The posts about love coding interviews and low paid freelancing work just reminds me how little anyone know about process of using code to solve real problems.
No one is paying me for my ability to write code. They are paying me to solves problems that businesses have that are likely to involve software.3
Contact wants to discuss a list of projects with me next week.
What's the betting that these are unfunded ideas that need code?
I should just check by email, but it's been a while since anyone walked this path with me, so I'm up for some fun.
I see myself taking an advisory role in these projects for equity.
"First thing you need to do is obtain funding for them all. Then get back to me for my insights on next stage. Not sure how to get funding, but I'm not the the 'creative' side of the team."
Ideas aren't worth shit. I have a bunch every day and they are as worthless as yours.
Ideas without execution are like owning a book without reading it.3
I see loads of rants complaining about getting asked for tech help. And then I see Linux getting recommended as an OS.
Me? I'm telling everyone to use ChromeOS so they leave me the fuck alone.
In the future, I'll tell everyone they are too fucking stupid to own a computer and phone is the way to go.
Systems thinking, people.1
Reducing API access to third party apps seems like a fucking short sighted move, Twitter.
Presumably given up on innovating on the platform and decided to milk what you have.
Doesn't excite me about your future.5
t-shirts are an ideal way to express one's frustration with the world, yet the devrant avatar t-shirts options are pretty benign.
Can't we have more ranty options?6
These fucking calendar e-mails. Fuck. Right. Off.
They never display correctly in all clients.
If the meeting is at 1pm, just fucking say that. I don't want to pick through a load of shit only to find that the calendar app lied about UTC.
Just missed a sodding call due to this crap.4
Anyone doing any VR/AR work for their company and can share (without mentioning the company) what they are doing with it---i.e. business problem being solved and how it's being solved?
Feels like there's a lot of hype here and the few niche applications of it (which are great) are getting the press.
But, maybe there's worthy work going on in the trenches that I'm unfamiliar with.16
I hate it when book publishers of tech books don't have their own DRM-free formats. I then have to go on Amazon and see that the Kindle version is only 10% cheaper than paper. Then I factor in the fact that they probably fucked up the formatting on the ebook. So, I end up just buying the paper one and my office continues to resemble a mad scientist's library.11
When a client asks us to support IE 6 can we start noting that there are some fucking useless clients out there and that Microsoft is inflicted with more of them than most? The continued existence of IE 6 isn't really down to Microsoft---it's down to their useless fucking customers.
So, let's beat those people with a stick until they upgrade to Edge.
At that point everyone can return to fighting about FF, Chrome and Edge---apart from me as all browsers seem to support cat JPGs.4
If you CC: me on an email I won't read it because I'm clearly not the intended recipient and I'm not going to do your work for you in trying to work out why I should give a fuck.
If you wish me to actually *give* said fuck then send me my own fucking email explaining why I should give a rat's anus about your shitty little problems.
And, if you try to use "but I copied you on the email" as an excuse for your incompetence in a meeting, I will eviscerate you on the spot. You will be looking at your small intestine while I ask your assembled co-workers if they have any other business.
CC: basically means you have no respect for my time. So, if you do it, I'm coming for you...and your family...and your friends...and all the people you know on Linked-In...8
They promised us flying cars and we got 140 character text messages.
Yes, it's lazy having Peter Thiel write my rant---and he didn't put enough fucks in it (he's three short)---but it expresses what I feel on the subject.
I keep hearing how amazing AI yet I'm still stacking the sodding dishwasher and other such life-diminishing fuckery.1
When can we expect to have sex robots that can also be used for domestic chores? I don't want to invest in a robot that only gets occasional use.
And a Roomba isn't very erotic.
If anyone is working on this, GraphQL API will be handy. I'm going to be doing a lot of things with it that you can't even start to imagine so needs to be fully configurable.
Can use Raspberry Pi...I don't need it to be too bright.27
Dell et al should start selling pre-stickered laptops so execs could buy that "dev cred" look.
There's probably a science to producing a look that doesn't make you look like someone's mum at a cool party.
What sticker placement approach do people use?3
Marketing wants to remove the word "sex" from one of my slide decks.
Fuck people who get outraged for others. They are making a bad situation much worse.
Yes, there are people who get triggered by the slightest thing---but those people are going to be triggered no matter what you do. And it seems to me that I'd not want to have them as customers anyway---massive support cost.
We are in danger of washing everything until it becomes an inoffensive shade of beige.
Why do the 99% have to be bored for the 1%?
It's not like I'm doing a live demo...yet...
So, fuck outrage by proxy. If you are personally outraged then say that. If not, shut the fuck up.17
Just uninstalled Bubble Witch Saga 3 from my Windows 10 *Pro* system.
Silently installed for me, even through I've never installed a Windows game in my life.
Changed the reg setting, so we'll see if that is an end to it.
I've never been a Windows hater, but they are really testing my patience with this shit. A *paid* business OS that downloads crappy games.
Are they intent on turning Windows into a Shovelware platform? This is the sort of thing which would cause me to leave the platform for good.15
No, I do not wish to work on your Scrum-managed project.
I do not wish to contribute to the Taylorism of my profession.
I do not wish to be an interchangeable cog in your software sausage machine.
I do not wish to be tracked by some pointless metrics like a call-centre worker.
I do not wish to bust my tight, cute ass to sprint after some idiotic management request that could have been factored in earlier.
I do not wish to obtain some piss-ant qualification that "authorises" me to do my job.
I do not wish to be party to your lie that technical debt will be avoided by refactoring---whatever the cost.
I do not wish to contribute to the death of software engineering to have it replaced by software development.
Agile? Sure. I can pick up the phone and talk to the client, users and fellow devs. After all, that's what it FUCKING MEANS. Communi-fucking-cation.
See that burndown chart? See your anus? Know what's happening next?
Fuck Scrum and every fucking bottom-feeder that is scamming a living by promoting it. You're killing this business.
Hugs and kisses,
Can someone explain the philosophy of the "not for me" downvote?
There are many things that are "not for me" in life, but, presumably, this action executes a global downvote on the post/comment---which is pretty much an expression of "not for anyone".
If this action were to train a recommendation engine---so I get recommendations that like-minded people see---then great. But why should that result in a public downvote?
I don't go up to people in the bar and say "Drinking Guinness? Not for me, mate." As an adult, I understand that my preferences are not universal.
Personally, I can't square the idea of "not for me" with its consequence of a public downvote.
I'm sure this must have been covered before...but all rants, as physiological and emotional activities, are unique. Your rant can never be mine.5
How are people writing documents/reports? Markdown/Latex in your fav editor and export to PDF? Word? Pages? Libre Office?
I use Markdown, via VSCode, Bear, iA Writer, Marked and then push to PDF. If I have to, then export to DOCX.8
So, giving a talk soon and marketing wanted to see the slides.
Comments come back. On every slide that is purely visual they've suggested I add a title and a para or two of text.
Fuck you and your fucking slideuments. If you want them to read the material send them a memo and save me the fucking trip.
Or even better, turn up yourselves and read lists of bulletpoints off the screen for 30 mins while I sit in hotel hot-tub with a cocktail.
I hate the inanity of corporate life.
Next time I'm going to send you a blank slide and live draw my diagrams. See how you like that, arseholes.4
Is there's an "edit history" feature in DevRant. Some comments makes no sense after a post is edited.
I'm thinking of posting "Arch Linux and Firefox for the win. Who's with me?"
Then, when I have some comments, I'll switch it to "Windows 8 and IE for the win. Who's with me?"
That could ruin a lot of lives.6
Why is innumeracy acceptable in our society?
It riles me where I see something like a current affairs or political show, (basic) stats are presented and someone says "I don't understand statistics, but [personal story follows]"
And when a person says they don't understand numbers there's laughter and nodding.
Imagine if I was on a panel and someone handed me a sheet of paper and I said that I can't read big words. Would hilarity ensue or would they assume I wasn't qualified to be commenting on *anything*?
People, if you are functionally innumerate, it's not funny. You have a 5th grade, at best, education. Be embarrassed and get help.14
Looking forward to trying out ChromeOS for a while.
I like the idea of a minimal OS. Frankly while Windows, macOS and Linux are all incredible bits of engineering, they all suck ass and are maddeningly frustrating.
Usually I'm on a computer to complete a task and just want the OS to quietly do its job and leave me out of its myriad personal crises. I don't want to see or hear from that fucker.
If experience tells me anything it's that I'll be swearing at the Chromebook within the week.
But, the fact I'm trying shows I haven't lost hope.5
Leave the house for 30 fucking minutes and the courier attempts to deliver my new notebook just then---after four days in transit. And, of course, they don't deliver at the weekend.
I swear the guy was camped outside my house waiting to fuck me over.1