24
Ellis
101d

I'mma be waay to real with you all here, I'm sad, lonely, and scared that I don't take as many oppertunities to "viva la vida" as I should, and that ultimately I will live an unfufilling life and or die alone.

Comments
  • 2
    @NoMad I suppose I don't cope well with having nothing to do. Keep getting all reflective, have the time to be miserable.
  • 2
    @NoMad Nah, doing that stuff helps, and besides, it gives you more oppertunities and shit to do new crap and see new things.

    If you take the oppertunity, have the charisma, self confidence or whatever to notice them.
  • 5
    Sometimes it is good to be lonely, sad and scared.

    When you are lonely, you learn to be alone with your thoughts and have time to reorganize them.
    When you are sad, you think about how that event or thing could result in you become sad and find a way to make it disappear.
    When you are scared, you adapt to the new challenge and find yourself in a way better version of your previous self.

    Love is the result of chemical events in our bodies. Sadness is the result of having a lack of dopamine. Feeling powerless might be the result of not having enough testosterone (if you're a male).

    Doing social and sporty activities is important to be emotionally and physically stable, but it is also important to train your mind's strength by e.g. rethinking your future self, doubting it and following it.
  • 3
    @-ANGRY-CLIENT- Part of me already knows all of that, but I suppose I just needed someone else to tell me that for now.

    Thanks.
  • 1
    @NoMad Might make you laugh, but Britain. Don't suppose I really have the right to be miserable, what with how things have been going, but the best joy is always sharing it with others it seems.
  • 0
    @NoMad Nah, that doesn't bother me, the company I'm in isn't going anywhere, if anything, it's recently announced they're making a new building.

    It's just personal bullshit, besides, if I started crying for every dumb piece of politics I'd die from dehydration.
  • 0
    @NoMad You and me both. Would like to take my colleagues out for a drink or something, but I'm too akward and the guy across from me is physically fitter and more confident, so that isn't doing wonders for my confidence tbh 😅
  • 0
    @NoMad Yea, I get all that, and I know the fit thing is an excuse, but I can't help but be akward in casual conversation for the most part.

    I know and am sure that people out there and that I know have the same doubts or worse, but I can't help but think less of myself for even having doubts. It's like I can't accept that I will always have doubts about stuff I am not good with.
  • 3
    2meirl4meirl.

    Honestly, this is so relatable. Life is repetitive and boring, people are assholes, humanity is doomed and death is inevitable. And I’m just kinda in the middle of this war that humans have with themselves constantly.

    I’m not really suicidal, but I wouldn’t mind dying at all at this point.

    (I hope I’m not troubling your mind additionally by expressing my thoughts, though!)
  • 1
    Most of us are like that here, and we need to keep together to stay afloat!
  • 1
    @RantSomeWhere By all means, I feel this myself. Though I'm sure someone would be sad if I were to die now, I don't feel anything's tiying me down here, and that's the problem really.
  • 2
    @Ellis exactly. I found myself looking forward to a natural death to have “an excuse for dying” sometimes. Admittedly, it’s fascinating to see how my brain deals with my life.

    I have found great refuge in music. Like, I listen to music almost all day now, it’s very distracting and engaging. Helps you to disconnect from your own thoughts, sometimes.
  • 1
    @RantSomeWhere Yeah, while at work that's what I usually do, that or listening to audiobooks, and that's been because when I try to get involved in a conversation, I feel as though I'm elbowing my way into it and nobody wants me in it.
  • 1
    @Ellis yeah, I can relate to that. My very existence is the ultimate conversation killer irl. I don’t know why that is, but I stopped caring. I’m not really engaged into social activities anymore, none of them are fun and I don’t like being around people.

    I feel like I’m just amplifying your bad thoughts, so I think this is the appropriate place to stop this conversation, no offense.
  • 2
    That's life. You're only going to be disappointed if you have been expecting too much of it all along.
  • 1
    @NoMad I’m alright, I can cope. I don’t really know how to “spice up my life” with education taking up most of my time.
  • 1
    @RantSomeWhere I'd rather not make you more miserable for my own sake, so no need to put yourself down like that.

    Here's a picture to make you laugh.
  • 1
    @-ANGRY-CLIENT- next time I feel sad or powerless, I'm going to shoot up those chemicals
  • 1
    @asgs Cigarettes, Booze, yeyeye. Not good for you long term, but my god they help in the short.
  • 2
    @NoMad sigh, that’s life, right? I hope that these feelings fade away once I settle down and establish myself in society at some point.

    @Ellis that legitimately made me smile, thank you so much
  • 1
    @RantSomeWhere No problem, I've got another one here:
  • 0
    @Ellis is this some fan-made comic? It’s hilarious
  • 1
    @RantSomeWhere If you want the character, it's moon night, he's marvel's answer to batman.

    Except he has a split personality, believes the egyptian moon god is telling him to beat criminals to death, and his personalities are so seperate, he made his wife cheat on him with himself.

    As for the pictures, they're just edits of comic panels, moon night isn't tring to collect on dracula.
  • 0
    @Ellis maybe I should get into comics.
  • 1
    @RantSomeWhere His comics are weird, and pretty interesting, given he's crazy.

    Shame the character's not better known, but I guess I'm helping with that :)
  • 2
    @NoMad Ok, you'll get some:
  • 1
    @NoMad I’ve never played it, but it sounds interesting.
  • 1
    @RantSomeWhere Just between you and me, and everyone on this website, here's a website where you can get the rules for it, and most other pen and paper rpgs:

    https://www.thetrove.net
  • 2
    @NoMad maybe it’s worth getting into. I like board games anyway.
  • 1
    @RantSomeWhere Sorry, got the url wrong, it was .net not .com
  • 1
    @Ellis you're welcome :)
  • 0
    @asgs I'm interested in how you want to do that. The testosterone part.
  • 2
    Big feels thread.

    My d&d party used to meet on weekends but now they've been meeting weekdays in the middle of the day (dm and most of party are Brits, American here) so I've been subtly pushed out of the party because I work weekdays. I don't think they did it just to get rid of me but that doesn't really make me feel less shitty for it.

    Also struggling to find happiness in stressful work and life situations. At least I'm taking a small vacation over labor day.

    Ninja edit because I just remembered that I also have been putting off a doctor's visit to address my anxiety because I'm anxious about going to the doctor. Also, games haven't really been bringing me happiness lately. That's fucked up
  • 0
    I'm learning to be more cautious about taking up opportunities, as previous efforts have often met with disaster and vast expense, even debt !

    There is a lot to be said for playing it more safe !

    Note, you may still die alone..
  • 1
    @Ellis Is anything stopping you from living a fulfilling life?
  • 1
    @evilian Probably myself tbh, don't exercise as much as I should, haven't got many friends, this really is the life.
  • 2
  • 2
    @asgs vitamin d and zinc. I see.
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