23
arcsector
16d

TL; DR: Bringing up quantum computing is going to be the next catchall for everything and I'm already fucking sick of it.

Actual convo i had:

"You should really secure your AWS instance."

"Isnt my SSH key alone a good enough barrier?"

"There are hundreds of thousands of incidents where people either get hacked or commit it to github."

"Well i wont"

"Just start using IP/CIDR based filtering, or i will take your instance down."

"But SSH keys are going to be useless in a couple years due to QUANTUM FUCKING COMPUTING, so why wouldnt IP spoofing get even better?"

"Listen motherfucker, i may actually kill you, because today i dont have time for this. The whole point of IP-based security is that you cant look on Shodan for machines with open SSH ports. You want to talk about quantum computing??!! Lets fucking roll motherfucker. I dont think it will be in the next thousand years that we will even come close to fault-tolerant quantum computing.

And even if it did, there have been vulnerabilities in SSH before. How often do you update your instance? I can see the uptime is 395 days, so probably not fucking often! I bet you "dont have anything important anyways" on there! No stored passwords, no stored keys, no nothing, right (she absolutely did)? If you actually think I'm going to back down on this when i sit in the same room as the dude with the root keys to our account, you can kindly take your keyboard and shove it up your ass.

Christ, I bet that the reason you like quantum computing so much is because then you'll be able to get your deepfakes of miley cyrus easier you perv."

Comments
  • 3
    Doesn't your company have a VPN to AWS so you do not need to expose SSH to public at all?
  • 8
    You can tell him thats not how quantum computing works because thats not how quantum computing works
  • 1
    Quantum AI!
  • 1
    better IP spoofing?

    what?
  • 0
    @yellow-dog but isn't that not how quantum computing works? Lol
  • 0
    If they are that concerned, why not use a 2FA ssh?
  • 0
    @ScribeOfGoD on a theoretical level maybe, but can your ssh authentication keep up with quantum speed bruteforce?
  • 1
    Okay. Gonna pitch my new startup idea. Ready? Social media with quantum computing blockchain and AI optimization.
  • 1
    @wannabe ...

    The point is that they ARENT concerned, they're just bringing it up as a futility argument; to try and say "well this is going to be useless in a couple years so why take time to do this?"
  • 1
    @arcsector Tell them, "Well, you're gonna be dead in a couple of years. Why not die now?"
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