Its only 5 months left till my graduation,and my mind is getting fucked up.

The current startup i am interning with is a lot stressful and demanding. I am giving my 1000%, only because this is the only place to.. how can i explain..
if world is a race of horses, then i am the tortoise and these guys are the only slow horses that i think i can catch up with. These people are your next door app dev startup, releasing multiple apps fastly and trying to hit the magic recipe. I am not sure if i am learning anything besides how to search stuff on my own and produce faster results. But still, better than nothing.

However i am a far sighted person and am not sure if this is the future that i want.

I am currently giving 14+ hours to this startup as an intern (including all the traveling from home). The only relaxation i could make in future is to shift near the office which will save me 3-4 hours but then what?

I am currently running out of goals. My childhood was shit, but i want to make my youth meaningful.

Leaving my home means leaving the only 2 people (mom/dad) currently present actively in my life.

My college would be over by then, all my colleagues are all on their own ,going into different companies. We don't meet now leave alone meeting then. I am also not much into( or have the time to be into) online games and anime where those guys meet/chat
Not that i was able to gather courage to get into some relationship or talk to people till now. I don't have much talks with my officemate or gals coz 1 :i am so full of work and (2) i simply can't

Currently i spent my whole Saturday sleeping and watching movies and Sunday doing the office work.

Is this going to be my whole working life now? I often think other people's jobs as less demanding but i don't think that would be the case.

I just want to be in touch with people, the people that i know, the people i can trust somewhat.

When i was in 7th std, life was so easy. There was this just 1 irritating thing called school that we had to attend.
After that, we used to run down to nearest park in our shorts and cricketbats or rsckets, play till our heart's content, then sit in some friends house for hours and talk shit , then come back home , do some irritating study, then go back to watching television and playing online games with those same friends , while deciding the birthday party of some guy and game plans for the next day.


  • 1
    that will lead to burnout.
  • 1
    Do you have any other hobbies beside programming? Can you imaging doing sports (but team sports, not the usual gym session by yourself)? To create lasting friendships, you have to have something in common with the people you want to have as friends. For example if you like chess (which is in my opinion a great hobby for a programmer because of logical thinking), go to a local chess club. Of course the first time you go there will be really awkward and the famous jump in the cold water, but it will be really rewarding. You will have similar interests (at least the thing you do at this certain e.g. sport club) and you will see those guys on a frequent basis. If you just meet up with people you know from job or somewhere else and you do not share similiar interests (beside the things you do at work), it will be really hard to create a solid friendship. And once you have a group of friends or likeminded people, the partner for life is not that far away :) and always keep positive, as hard
  • 0
    as it may seem
  • 0
    I feel you
  • 1
    As someone who found himself in a similar situation (and ended up screwing both the startup and got an academic extension), I'd advise you to look for if the startup is really performing as expected in the short term. Long term goals are good, but they are made up of short term increments, and if the startup has not performed what it had promised to, say, in the last couple of months or so, there's a good chance that it's headed nowhere. So much work without equally great progress is more often than not a red flag.

    For me, the breaking point came when we postponed our third launch and I called it quits. Once I left, a few more left as well.

    Of course the high intensity work provides a lot of learning, but if the effort demanded is not matches by the successes provided, then maybe it's time to reconsider continuing.
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