14
sladuled
75d

Covid-19 quarantine checklist:
> isolate yourself ✓
> wash hands ✓ // duuuuh
> work from home ✓
> buy normal quantities of TP ✓
> get attacked by a bat (from Wuhan?! O.o) ✓
> buy some favourite bar soap
> ...

W8 wut?!
Yeah...I saw a bat fly by the balcony.. I thought: oh, how nice, they never fly so close.. Wait...a bat?! Aren't bats supposed to start all this shiiii...O.O
Thoughts interrupted by a bat flap tap (sound it makes when it hits something) behind my back..
Quickly pull hoodie over the hair..and jacket hood to, just in case.. friend once got a bat tangled in her curly hair.. I didn't wanna test if straight but longer hair also make problems for them.. Some more flapping & scratchy noises (I think it fell on the umbrella) then nothing.. OMG did it die on my balcony?! How the fuck am I gonna explain a dead bat to the authorities who remove dead wildlife?! >Yeah, a funny thing happened the other day, I got a message from Wuhan and the messenger dropped dead on my balcony..< Yeah, this would totally work.. o.0 Anyhow, once the noises stopped, I turned around to check on it..but couldn't find it.. so I just hope it managed to fly away and I won't find it after 3 days in the middle of my apartment... o.0

Comments
  • 3
    Maybe it was Batman.
    Or maybe you're trying to tell us you're Batwoman.
    Either way, I'm stuck at home because of you. Nice work, asshole!
  • 0
    Why is the bat from Wuhan?
    Was it still alive 3 days later?
    What was it doing in your apartment?
    Did you check your emails and logs for breach?

    So. many. questions.
  • 1
    @Angry Do you really think "BatWuhan" would leave traces like that?
  • 1
    @endor How is this my fault?! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

    I doubt it was batman, too clumsy even for him xD

    Not a batgirl, maybe catgirl..I like to lay on the sun and I hate close proximity to other people..
  • 0
    @Angry I don:t know the origin, didn't see the passport or flight pass..just a speculation due to circumstances..

    Will report bck in 2 days (if I manage to spot it, either flying around or behind my bed o.0).

    I am guessing he wanted a beer I have stored on the balcony.

    And no? Haven't checked yet, but the personal crappy laptop is updating atm, you might be onto something here..
  • 0
    Did you read my message?
  • 1
    @rutee07 Oh, shiiit, that was from you?! I didn't know you switched from pigeons to bats... :/
  • 2
    No, they totally do that. Fly into apartments because they like the temperature or a smell, then find a place to sleep. I have one behind the wardrobe as I write this, it'll probably wake up after midnight to grab a snack. My bet on struggling noises is glass, it gives them trouble. Bats aren't blind, you see, their vision is quiet good, actually. They see through the glass so they don't consider it an obstacle. It might look to warm itself at night and, well, human body is pretty warm, also all but fruit bats like to nibble on fingers so... You should wear gloves and socks tonight.
  • 0
    Also, I totally made this up to scare you. Tell me if you felt a crawl on your back while reading.
  • 0
    @cprn If Lutee-san is going to nimble onto something, gloves and socks won't help you at all.
  • 1
    @cprn lol no, I'm not scared of bats in general, so if my hair is in a pony tail/bun/under the hood, I'm quite chill about them xD

    And also not everything from your story is made up.. bats occasionally do wander in people habitats (even in apartments waaay up high, not just the barns). So the story about having one behind your wardrobe right now is actually plausible xD

    Last summer coworker had winow opened in 'oberlicht' position (not sure about english word for this, it means that the window was kinda leaning into the room at the top which creates like a 10cm gap on top) and a bat flew in.. it was flappin around and settled behind the wardrobe (I am not shitting you!!). He had to open window fully and warn family not to go into his room for a couple of days/nights and have the doors closed at all times, so the bat could exit at night & not wander into the rest of the apartment.. xD

    Hmm.. maybe we should rename our company to bat attracters or sth similar & catchy xD
  • 1
    To Whom It May Concern: no bat sightings last night.. not on balcony not in apartment.. xD
  • 1
    @sladuled Hey, I said I made it up. I never said my lies aren't plausible! 🕶️
  • 1
    @cprn lol your mind has autofactcheck turned on when lying.. nice! xD
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