Why people keep installing shit on their computers and then asks me if I can fix their PC that "randomly" stopped to run as fast as before?

If you, fucking retard, installed combos of 2 or sometimes even 3 antivirues, the worst ones by the way (e.g. Avast + Norton + Avira), some bullshit utilites like BoostMyFuckingPC 9000, SpeedMyGPU, etc. it's normal that it doesn't work, especially if you have a low end laptop with Intel i3 and 4 GB of RAM…

And it's not true I'm a magician if I make it work properly again, I just undone the fucking decisions you made when you started to search on bing how to increase FPS in LoL…

Fuck you, and fuck me because since we're friends/relatives I HAVE to help you little bastard.

  • 16
    My all time favorite : "Registry Cleaner"
  • 12
    Just say no. I've started to tell my friends and relatives that. Tell them it takes time to do that, time isn't free. Or whatever excuse you want to make up. They're your friends and relatives. If they stop being your friends then they're shitty friends. If they stop being your relatives then you have bigger issues then not fixing their computer.
  • 7
    "I dunno, that's beyond me, you should def contact the manufacturer, seems like an issue on their end."
  • 4
    @SortOfTested "could you do that for me ? i would not know what to say"
  • 3
    "I woooouuuld, but they will only talk to the owner. Damn. The. Luck. 🤷‍♀️"
  • 4
    I take joy in doing it, as it shows that proper care is a massive difference. It's also a chance to educate.

    don't forget to set them up with MBAM or something about as good.

    also remember to set the DisableAntiSpyware key in the registry as WinDefend in Win10 uses too much CPU time and RAM (there's way too much YMMV on this one, yeah yeah "it only uses 800 bytes of ram and 2 cycles a second for me" comment but that's atypical according to all the cases of OP's issue I've had, Windows 10 is exactly as stable, fuck yourself) and detects fuck all.

    Also, yes, defragmentation on actual HDDs is still a thing you should do in 2020, fuck your "SATA 3 7200RPM is so fast it doesn't matter" shit, defragmentation is the difference between a 5-minute start time and a 20-second one. (That's an actual metric, I had a laptop end up so much faster afterwards that it blew its pre-defrag self outta the goddamn water. That's even with the 5-minute having "fast startup" enabled too!)
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