Details
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About🚚⛅️🚔 Official Cloud Pusher (DevOps)
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SkillsYou write it, I deploy it, test it, manage it, secure it...
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LocationNorth Carolina, USA
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Website
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Github
Joined devRant on 4/10/2016
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My first experience…
My father bought a Commodore 64 but couldn’t figure out how to use it. A few days later I was playing games and making art. He yelled at me saying none of it was in the manual. He was mad I understood how to use it. It all came naturally to me, and I early
on realized I had a gift. -
Started at a new company... and we actually track our Apdex score now. Wow. I forgot what I was missing.
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My company thinks "DevOps Engineer" means
(Senior AWS Solutions Architect) + (Lead DevOps Engineer) + (CISO) + (Helpdesk) + (Sys Admin) + (Team Lead) + (Database Adminstrator)
My mistake was taking on all those duties without demanding 7x the pay.10 -
Are you an off-shore contractor working for a US company? How do you really feel about working US Hours?
I have several contractors on my team who say "I'm willing to work any shift" but I need you to be honest with me on devRant... how do you really feel? Do you have families? Do you prefer to work your normal hours? Why do all of my contractors martyr themselves to work whenever they think makes me happy?
I can work around your requests, I'd probably get better work if you're happier and well rested. I'm not sure what I'm missing, are these hours actually better for you and your family?2 -
Does anybody else compost at home? I’ve recently started considering our teams backlog like a compost pile. You need a mix of Carbon rich and Nitrogen rich products for proper compost. (Greens and browns, fruits and paper shreds). It seems like a healthy team would have a mix of features and debt reduction stories in their backlog. Am I too far off here to make the analogy work ?2
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Me: 15 years of experience in AWS, DevOps, Architecture, and Security. Current title: "Senior DevOps Manager"
Recruiter: "There are a lot of opportunities, but this one caught my eye, and I thought you'd be interested... Junior Frontend Developer"
If you want to do your job, at least do it half way well. Recruiters can suck, but most are better than that.2 -
Why the hell did you put the promo code field on the login form? What type of fucking eCommerce site are you?4
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My AP Computer Science teacher changed my life in 2001. Until then, I wasn’t considering a career in development. He challenged me to write a back propagating multi layer perceptron neural network, and an RPN calculator. Every day made me think about how to solve problems at an algorithmic level. He was brutally honest, and one of the reasons why I’m an team manager now. RIP, your legacy won’t be forgotten.5
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Pricing:
With AWS <Service>, you pay only for what you use. You are charged based on the amount of granular data generated on a monthly basis.
Literally. Every.Fucking.Service.4 -
My manager wonders why I don't respond to people in a timely fashion.
I'm watching 83 Slack channels and private messages, I get 45 emails an hour, I'm on-call, and I have 125 servers to monitor.
Number of Jira tickets I received in the last 3 days? One single fucking ticket.
Open a damn ticket and I'll shove you to the bottom of the backlog, just like everybody else... I mean, I'll be able to track your request and not loose it.7 -
Multi-factor authentication does not mean I have a password to your site AND have to login with Google. Also, I logged in with Google, you should have my email address now.
Oh, a user with that address already exists? No shit, it's me.
Your fucking login flow is broken.5 -
The conversations that come across my DevOps desk on a monthly basis.... These have come into my care via Slack, Email, Jira Tickets, PagerDuty alerts, text messages, GitHub PR Reviews, and phone calls. I spend most of my day just trying to log the work I'm being asked to do.
From Random People:
* Employee <A> and Contractor <B> are starting today. Please provision all 19 of their required accounts.
* Oh, they actually started yesterday, please hurry on this request.
From Engineers:
* The database is failing. Why?
* The read-only replica isn't accepting writes. Can you fix this?
* We have this new project we're starting and we need you to set up continuous integration, deployment, write our unit tests, define an integration test strategy, tell us how to mock every call to everything. We'll need several thousand dollars in AWS resources that we've barely defined. Can you define what AWS resources we need?
* We didn't like your definition of AWS resources, so we came up with our own. We're also going to need you to rearchitect the networking to support our single typescript API.
* The VPN is down and nobody can do any work because you locked us all out of connecting directly over SSH from home. Please unblock my home IP.
* Oh, looks like my VPN password expired. How do I reset my VPN password?
* My GitHub account doesn't have access to this repo. Please make my PR for me.
* Can you tell me how to run this app's test suite?
* CI system failed a build. Why?
* App doesn't send logs to the logging platform. Please tell me why.
* How do I add logging statements to my app?
* Why would I need a logging library, can't you just understand why my app doesn't need to waste my time with logs?
From Various 3rd party vendors:
* <X> application changed their license terms. How much do you really want to pay us now?
From Management:
* <X> left the company, and he was working on these tasks that seem closely related to your work. Here are the 3 GitHub Repos you now own.
* Why is our AWS bill so high? I need you to lower our bill by tomorrow. Preferably by 10k-20k monthly. Thanks.
* Please send this month's plan for DevOps work.
* Please don't do anything on your plan.
* Here's your actual new plan for the month.
* Please also do these 10 interruptions-which-became-epic-projects
From AWS:
* Dear AWS Admin, 17 instances need to be rebooted. Please do so by tomorrow.
* Dear AWS Admin, 3 user accounts saw suspicious activity. Please confirm these were actually you.
* Dear AWS Admin, you need to relaunch every one of your instances into a new VPC within the next year.
* Dear AWS Admin, Your app was suspiciously accessing XYZ, which is a violation of our terms of service. You have 24 hours to address this before we delete your AWS account.
Finally, From Management:
* Please provide management with updates, nobody knows what you do.
From me:
Please pay me more. Please give me a team to assist so I'm not a team of one. Also, my wife is asking me to look for a new job, and she's not wrong. Just saying.5 -
Rebooted the two oldest EC2 instances in our network today. It went as badly as expected. They were supposed to be identical
* One server rebooted perfectly
* Second server rebooted with data loss, permission issues, configuration failures.4 -
One thing I love about AWS.Chime meetings, is that they call you when the meeting starts. You can answer from your laptop, phone, or tablet. No fumbling for my calendar.
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In case you need this link again, we’ll send out the PowerPoint, which has the QR code you can scan. WTF. Can’t you just put the damn link in the PowerPoint ?7
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Tomorrow’s schedule:
7am-8: Yoga
8:45-10: Retro
10:15-10:45: Team Meeting
11-11:30: Interview
11:30-Noon: New project meeting
Noon-1pm: Foster care meeting with case worker (monthly check-in)
1pm-1:30: Train co-worker on how to restore databases
2pm-3pm : Onboard new DBA
3:15-4:15: Conference with AWS partner
Yup. I think I’ll complete a perfect zero LOC tomorrow. Oh, I’m also on-call.2 -
This is a post about some gratitude. Many of my friends were not so lucky during COVID and their companies suffered. I am very grateful to be working for a company where my git branch name of a recent commit was 'feature/support-our-two-new-factories'. My company is thriving and growing :)1
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Working from home is still not without its challenges. I’ve been doing it for 6 years. Today I solved the dilemma of how my wife can book her own events where I’m needed to watch the kids during the day. A simple hashtag in the calendar description and an IFTTT recipe now adds a “Busy” block to my work calendar.1
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Currently quadruple booked for meetings at this time slot. I'm picking the one where the most smack down needs to be laid down.3
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Thursday: Hey wife…. I finished my project and tomorrow I should have a very easy day, just watching Slack.
Friday: Database— corrupted bin logs, major production outages.
Wife: 😡I can never believe you when you say you’ll have an easy day.3 -
It's been broken in production for two weeks, and you want to tell me it's "drop everything urgent" now? Is it important? Yes. Is it urgent? No.
Also, how the fuck did you not know this was broken for two weeks, and what the hell do you want me to do about it now? It's your codebase, it passed all the tests in staging AFTER I made my changes to the infrastructure.1 -
Release Notes:
This change *shouldn’t* break anything. Please keep your eyes open for strangeness.
Every. Release. Ever.
