This is a true story
I am a freelance developer, i recently had this conversation with my client:
Client: Add multi language option to my website
Me: Ok, I need for it 3-5 days
Client: Why?
Me: I need to create multi language system, this
website is built from scratch without using any
Client: No need to built it, Just enabled it i need it fast
Me: Sir there is no such thing to enable features that
does not exit
Client: Listen me, I need this feature today, enable it
and we are done.

Me: Thats not how it works..
Client: I know how it works, i have hacking certificate

  • 8

    I am confused by 3 thing

    1) Do you actually mean a "pen testing certificate?"

    2) What have pen testing have to do with knowing "how thing are build?"

    3) Is his pen testing certificate valid from a reputable source?

    4) If he is really pen tester , I am more disappointed that he is making this kind of knowledge since he is also an "IT" guy.
  • 13
    @mr-user The think is that he know nothing about IT (Dev, Pen test...), Probably he did some online (scamy) hacking courses and got a certificate, and now he think he know everything about computers xD
  • 3

    Hacking/pen testing is not just using the tools. It is just like any profession is much involve than using the tools.

    I have no objection that he is "bad" at his job but he should at least respect other profession.

    In our current age IT is the critical system but you don't see developer disrespecting other profession.

    Maybe he is just a "bad apple"
  • 20
    Yes he is pen tester and he will test my pen with his throat to check if it can kill someone. I really want to punch him "close" to death. This ignorant fucks has to learn hard way. Please replace his website with a big hairy cock image and tell him his website got hacked.
  • 2
    He must've thought it's just a CMS where you find suitable extensions or plug-ins to "enable" the feature. But still in programming it's risky to assume for both parties :D When asked for something undeliverable within the requested timeline I usually tell the client, "if we do it that fast, it will just open up to more issues and delay"
  • 3
    Ask him to DIY by EOD
  • 0
    @iamai I doubt they have such developed thoughts about the situation, else they would've understood the term "from scratch". I think they have no clue what's going on and just feel too insecure to admit it - even implicitly by taking the expert's advice.
  • 1
    @hack pen in the throat is a perfect way of killing someone. First you stick the pen in his throat and then you tell everyone that he couldn't breathe and you tried to save his life by performing a tracheal incision, albeit too late to save his life. So sad.
  • 0
    Might be talking about Google translate plugin!!
  • 2
    Just reply with "I need professional management enabled and I needed it since the project started."
    We are done
  • 2
    Reading this hurts..
  • 1
    These are the ones who will later say that - "I have hacked NASA using HTML" !
  • 1

    He probably downloaded wireshark and sniffed some packets and thought he was knew everything about websites.
  • 0
    My company management does the same, whether a feature require one day or day. they only think like, it can be done in 1 day.
    For them, the feature is just easy to build like it is said.
    Haha, nothing we can do much except to just do feature, whether it take long or short...
  • 2
    Seeing all the comments here.. Please remember that when someone says they have a *hacking* certificate, they mean they saw a terminal with green text in some movie..
  • 0
    3 days... That sounds really quick
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