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Well, it happened. The stupidest request, no demand, I have ever, and most likely will ever receive...
Me: So what is it you're looking to do with your website.
Client: We're not showing up Facebook's home page. We need you to fix that. We have a budget of $10,000 to make this happen right now.
Me: As much as I'd love to take your money, that isn't something I can control. Every "home page" is profile-based, which technically isn't a homepage, but a "feed" that changes constantly. So say you create a profile on Facebook, only those you follow, and paid posts show up on your feed. What I can do however is use your budget to create and promote posts from your company page to show on users' feeds. If you're serious about marketing, we can start slow at $250/week, then work our way up or down based on results until your budget is exhausted, then re-evaluate the budget at that time. I can tailor a retainer for you based on the number of ads per week that you'd like to make.
Client: No, this is not what we're asking for at all.
Me: Okay...what is it you're looking for exactly? Run through this in as much detail as possible so I can get on the same page.
Client: We want to be on the main home page of facebook.com. We want our logo on that page when people sign up to make an account, linking to our website.
Me: That's simply not possible. That's Facebook's own home page. Nobody has a right to edit that other than Facebook itself.
Client: Bullshit. There's a Facebook developers section with APIs to edit and view Facebook's entire website. We would do it ourselves, but we signed up and don't understand how to change it in Chrome. That's why we need you and [referring client] said you were the best guy for our needs.
Me: That API has no control over Facebook's corporate data, including their own home page. That API designed ONLY for sections in which you are authorized to access or modify, such as your personal profile or created page for your business.
Client: We know that it can be done. If you don't do it, we'll find someone else who can.
Me: Well good luck with that, because the only way it would be remotely possible to do that WILL involve prison time, since that would be illegal. The only legal way to do it would be to buy Facebook, and they'll laugh you out of the building with that offer. But I'm done with this conversation because I have work to complete from clients that aren't delusional. Have a nice day! [hang up]
----
What. The. Fuck.24 -
This was my first freelancer project. Just dropped out of school, i think i was 17. No money, no proper hardware, i had a very old laptop & stolen wifi from our neighbor. I lived in a very small room at my mom’s flat, she wanted me out as soon as i turn 18. At the time my plan was to work on freelancer stuff and make my own games. “It will be fine, fuck school, who needs school? 😂“ I haven’t really finished anything back then, so i only had a few wip hobby projects to show ppl as my references. I saw a freelancer job posting. The task was to make a simple quiz game for mobile, it paid 350$. Back then that was a lot of money for me so i took it. I met the client, he said “2-3 week tops, i send you everything, you do the code” Cool. I finally had a “job”😃. The 2-3 weeks turned into a 8 month blur of all-nighting and just implement one more thing and its finished. I did not really have any experience on how to deal with clients and i really needed this project to finally have something on my porfolio. I motivated myself with “if i can finish this i can finish anything”. I think the story of my most definitive all-nighting was 3 months into the development. I finally got everything from the client so it was like just put it together and its done. The client wanted 300 levels, beeing a noob i was i started making all the 300 unity scenes by hand, aligning the pictures, the ui, testing each level, making adjustments to the code, etc.. after a really long night and a fuckton of caffeine i was done. I sent it to the client at around 9 am and gone to sleep. When i woke up i checked my emails to saw this: Cool! But can we do hints? (wich needed a fuckton of rework of my code) I think i had my first mental breakdown while working on the project. After that he wanted more modifications and because i made every level by hand i had to remake all of them like 10 times 😂
But in the end it turned out positive, he really helped me to start my carrier, we became sord of friends and the project gave me a lot of confidence and experience on how to deal with stuff when shit goes wrong because everything that can go wrong in a project gone wrong. It was the most valuable developer lesson. Plus it sounds so cool to say “i was born in development hell, b*tch!”🕶
I attached a pic of the laptop i worked on 😂
Thanks for reading 😃
33 -
TL;DR: Clients are dumb.
Client IT Lead: "Your code isn't working on our website."
Me: "Because you didn't load our code into your website. Do that, and everything works."
CIL: <proposes terrible alternative>
M: "No fix on my end will matter if you don't load our code into your website."
CIL: <more disagreement>
M: "Let me discuss with my team and I'll get back to you."
... later that day, in a follow up meeting with client's team ...
M: "Load our code into your website as was initially intended and everything works fine."
CIL's Boss: "That makes complete sense, and I'm not sure why we weren't doing that from the beginning. Let's make that happen, CIL."
CIL: "Okay."
——
👨🏽💻🤷🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️7 -
Confessions of a Programmer
#1
If a client is an unbearable asshole during the initial communication, I look for every excuse to pad on the hours for the estimate to get paid more. If a client goes above and beyond in their douchbaggery, I tack on an additional $40/hour.
#2
Sometimes I will present an elaborate solution to a client, but really I'm just reading off the features of a plugin or library I'm going to download or buy after the call. Not because I can't build it myself, but because I'd rather spend more time on other/my own projects.
#3
Clients assume because I know one language, I know them all. Rather than turning down the work, I take a crash course to work in that language, or outsource the work and clean it up afterwards, whichever is more practical at the time.
#4
I use cPanel on a dedicated to manage our client websites. I'm not paid enough to bother with setting up everything manually.
#5
Certain projects I build have a 3-day backdoor built into it. If the client doesn't pay upon completion, a unique hash triggered as a GET variable deletes a core file in my work, rendering the work useless. If it wasn't triggered by the 4th day, the file allowing me to trigger this backdoor is removed. This is only used for clients where the project must be launched on their servers, or if there has been a previous issue collecting payment.
#6
I slip in the initial contract that all preceeding phone calls will be monitored and recorded, and that they acknowledge the recordings are admissable in court. This has saved me from losing money twice now.
#7
I have never used an IDE. (I know, I know, it's really inefficient and dumb, but I'm just more comfortable with Sublime. Plus I often find myself mobile and without my computer, so I have to program from my phone.)
#8
Each day resembles a betting spectacle of which work will be late, which will be rushed out and which will never see the light of day.
#9
I have used "sick" and "family emergency" as an excuse to just sleep in far more than I can count.
#10
When a client from hell crosses over the line in their conduct (such as getting very nasty and personal, or sending threats), I anonymously report them to the BBB and on RipOffReport.22 -
Trying to make a not realistic deadline,set today for yesterday. Pleasing clients is what I do.
With a little #catsupport, she is probably wondering why I'm not in bed so she can sleep on me.
15 -
[Thursday afternoon on a call...]
Client: Before we get started, can you create a sitescape outlining all of the pages and sections of the new website?
Me: Sure! I'll go through the website and shoot you a full layout in xls format as soon as possible, that way you can easily make notes on what you want added, modified or removed.
[Two hours later...]
Client: Hey, did you build that sitescape yet?
Me: Actually, I've been on back-to-back calls with other clients.
Client: So when are you going to get it done?
Me: Well, I have to go through the current website in it's entirety, which I'm guessing is about 1,000 pages. I have to determine which pages work fine on their own, which need to be combined for better presentation and which should be removed due to redundancy. That's something that is tedious and takes some time to complete. That, in combination with having an existing work queue that I need to fit you within and being at the end of the work week, we're looking at Tuesday morning to have it ready.
Client: "Existing work queue"? This is ridiculous. We're paying you good money to make our project your only priority. If we wanted to wait days for work, we would have saved money and paid for a cheaper service. You're already gouging us as it is! If we don't get the sitescape by end of day Friday, we're going with another company.
Me: I would tell you that I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but I'm not. I'm not going to feed you a line to make you happy. I'm also not going to work on my days off just to rush something out to you. You hired us because you wanted things done right, not quickly. Your current website is the result of not focusing on quality, but by how fast you can deliver it. We don't work that way. We only build quality products.
By rushing your project, not only do we alienate our current clients, affecting our reputation, but we build product of less than the highest quality. That will upset you because it isn't perfect, and it reflects poorly on us to use it in our portfolio.
If you want to hire someone to pump out this project to your unrealistic deadlines, be our guest. But you paid a 50% non-refundable deposit, so not only will you lose money, but your end product will suffer.
I'm going to let you sleep on this. If you decide tomorrow that another direction is the way to go, we wish you luck. But please understand that if we conclude our business, we will no longer make ourselves available for your needs.
Please find the attached contracts you have signed, acknowledging the non-refundable deposit, as well as the project timeline and scope, of which a "sitescape" was never originally mentioned or blocked out for time.
I hope that tomorrow we can move forward in a more professional manner.
[Next morning...]
Client: My apologies for yesterday. We're just very anxious to get this started.
-----
Don't let clients push you around. Make them sign a contract and enforce it whenever necessary.7 -
Client: Can you provide some kind of guaranteed timeline that you're going to be able to move our website to our new servers with the optimizations implemented? I know you said it should take a week, but we have 3 weeks to get this moved over and we cannot afford to be double billed. I'm waiting to fire up the new server until you can confirm.
Me: As I said, it SHOULD take about a week, but that's factoring in ONLY the modifications being made for optimization and a QA call to review the website. This does not account for your hosting provider needing to spin up a new server.
We also never offered to move your website over to said new server. I sent detailed instructions for your provider to move a copy of the entire website over and have it configured and ready to point your domain over to, in order to save time and money since your provider won't give us the access necessary to perform a server-to-server transfer. If you are implying that I need to move the website over myself, you will be billed for that migration, however long it takes.
Client: So you're telling me that we paid $950 for 10 hours of work and that DOESN'T include making the changes live?
Me: Why would you think that the 10 hours that we're logged for the process of optimizing your website include additional time that has not been measured? When you build out a custom product for a customer, do you eat the shipping charges to deliver it? That is a rhetorical question of course, because I know you charge for shipping as well. My point is that we charge for delivery just as you do, because it requires our time and manpower.
All of this could have been avoided, but you are the one that enforced the strict requirement that we cannot take the website down for even 1 hour during off-peak times to incorporate the changes we made on our testbed, so we're having to go through this circus in order to deliver the work we performed.
I'm not going to give you a guarantee of any kind because there are too many factors that are not within our control, and we're not going to trap ourselves so you have a scapegoat to throw under the bus if your boss looks to you for accountability. I will reiterate that we estimate it would take about a week to implement, test and run through a full QA together, as we have other clients within our queue and our time must be appropriately blocked out each day. However, the longer you take to pull the trigger on this new server, the longer it will take on my end to get the work scheduled within the queue.
Client: If we get double billed, we're taking that out of what we have remaining to pay you.
Me: On the subject of paying us, you signed a contract acknowledging that you would pay us the remaining 50% after you approved the changes, which you did last week, in order for us to deliver the project. Thank you for the reminder that your remaining balance has not yet been paid. I'll have our CFO resend the invoice for you to remit payment before we proceed any further.
---
I love it when clients give me shit. I just give it right back.6 -
Fellow front end coworker got asked via email today to "capitalize the '2019' in the headline".
Still laughing over this.15 -
Going on a vacation, so notify all clients that I won't be available during two weeks.
Client: well we have this huge presentation and here's a list of stuff we absolutely need for it
Me: sure I have a look.
Me: holy shit dude! That's gona take about 2-3 days. I'm leaving soon!
Client: it's realy critical to have them in a week as it's a very important presentation! Is there any way you can make it work? If we can do anything to help, just name it.
Me: well I'll do my best (planed 1 day for such rhings)
Me: *pulling a 15h day*
Me: here, all done budy! Did a 15h but now it's done, so do that presentation!
Client: oh, nice, but it wasn't that urgent
Me: ...
Next day:
Client ssh in to the server, fucks shit up
Client: well I did a thing and now stage and prod is fucked, can you do anything?
Me: (knowing it will take 30min to fix) well... I try my best. Btw. I'll leave in a few hours and won't take my computer, so try not to fuck every thing again, okay? -
Client: Please fix the logo.
Me: Okay, what needs to be fixed exactly?
Client: Put this word next to that word(shows me an example).
Me: Okay, no problem.
*after 5 minutes*
Client: You did not do what I asked for. Please fix the logo. Make it look better. Make it bigger and more outstanding. Dont change my logo
Me: Okay, I will revert the changes.
*Reverts to the old logo, and only does that as I do not fucking know what to do with oudstanding for fucks sake*
Client: I will talk to your boss. No one cares. My web site is not even finished and no one cares.
*It is finished, now the client looks for small things to make a big issue of*
Me: Could you please tell me in detail, what do you need to be fixes?
Client: I want the wording better. Im going to talk to your boss...
well fuuuck fucking fuck Im pissing blood!!!!!!!!!8 -
So, our clients missed their internal deadline this weekend so we as vendor were also forced to work for the weekend and implement new features in a very short period. I implemented new features and my project manager stayed to support the testing and sent me home as I already had tickets bought for the movie.
As someone who hasn't done any developing in a long long time he even tried to implement some changes and complex JavaScript dom manipulation that they asked during testing so that I could be with my gf.
Few hours later he called me and with a sad voice said he is simply too slow and needs my help after all . I came and we stayed until 00h and solved everything. He paid for the movie and taxi.
The thing that impressed me was that he was willing to took over my job so that I wouldn't break my deal.
Best project manager ever!
P.S. Yes my gf went alone at the movie and yes we are still together xD5 -
Apparantly, wanting to use company assets for a smoke machine so when clients visit you can say "Welcome to the cloud!" is immature.3
-
Dear clients.
Putting your support subject or content either in uppercase letters or telling US that your matter/ticket has 'the utmost priority' doesn't mean anything to us. You'll just have to keep in line.
WE decide the priorities. Also, calling us when we haven't looked into your very fucking high priority ticket yet for about 5 FUCKING minutes is NOT going to help YOU.
- One of the Linux Support Engineers.10 -
One of our clients deploy their own server app. So this happened after a prod deployment. (4am)
*Cellphone rings while sleeping*
Client : we need you on the conference call now. URGENT!
*Gets on conference call*
*Client explain the problem*
*Explaining to the client that the problem is in their side (https connection not working, either network or certificate problem)*
*Client doesn't believe it and pushes me for a fix that I have no control on*
*4 hours later in a heated conversation*
Client : ok problem is on our side. We used our SSL certificate from staging with production and thought it would work.
Me :
5 -
How the fuck did clients convince themselves they can have a developer build an Amazon, booking.com, Facebook, Airbnb or site of the sorts for 500 bucks on FUCKING WORDPRESS?!8
-
Ok, so I have a SAAS website where users pay a daily fee to use my platform as there fundraiser landing page.
A new client comes, asks for a discount, and got a 50% off because his brother was a previous client.
Him: Can you please add a list of the days of the year so a donor can donate a day?
Me: Sure, sounds like a good idea, and will probably take me about a week to implement with testing etc. And so I want $$ (hourly rate * one week) for the work.
Him: Don't bluff me I understand a bit in programming, it shouldn't take you more than an hour, and I am paying you, so you should do it for free.
Me: Ok, here is a fair deal, since you understand in programming, build it for me, I give you two weeks and I will pay you double what I am asking for.
Him: I don't understand enough to do it myself, I just estimated how much work it is.
Me: Forget about it, if you want me to build you this feature, you pay. If not you can go to my competition happily.
Who needs bad clients at all?
Why do they think they know everything?
And why don't they understand that time is money?5 -
fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking clients!13
-
Some clients are a real patience test.
Client:
"I want to be able to edit every detail on every page of the whole website"
After site is coded, and admin page is available for page edits, they send requests like:
"please update the text on page x"3 -
!rant source: LinkedIn;
Yesterday I met with a potential client who wanted a website. I gave him a quote of X. He said, do this work for X/2 as I have lots of projects and I can keep you engaged for months.
If it was 2 years ago, I'd have happily accepted his proposal. But in the past 2 years I have learned this lesson hard way. Don't work for clients who don't pay well, because when a developer is not paid enough, the quality of work degrades. Hence the portfolio is degraded and so the future projects are also of low budget.
And before you know it, you will be surrounded by low paying clients who see you as a Skilled Labour.
Today, I don't negotiate, not even a single dollar. To justify my cost I make sure that no stones are left unturned while delivery.
It's better to work for 10 hours a week for 40$/hr then to work 40 hours a week for 10$/hr.4 -
tl;dr stupid clients with their stupid requirements.
Client: (on Monday) hypothetically could you implement "A"?
Me: (on Monday) yeah I could do that by Friday, let me know if you want me to start it.
Client: (on Thursday) hey remember we talked about "A" well do "B" instead and I'll need it by Friday still.
Me: "B" is completely different than "A" and will take probably twice as long.
Client: but you told me you could do it by Friday.
Me: ............ I want to smash your face.4 -
Clients can such cheapskates, client asks me for hosting options, I suggest Webfaction ($10/m), decent service, storage etc. Client goes and buys ($20/year) hosting, storage space 2GB. Client has 2.9GB worth of emails. Now am charging said client ($110) for migration.4
-
Ok, so I don't work yet and so I've never had to deal with any clients but based on the rants i have read this is how stupid I imagine most of them are.
Dev: Hey, would you like a chocolate bar?
Client: Yeah, sure.
Dev: here:
*hands chocolate bar over*
*client holds it in his hands, opens it and eats it*
Client: Tastes great
Dev: Ok, nice. So about the payment of the project...
*Clients face is swollen and he falls to the ground*
Dev: uhh, what are you doing?
Client *coughing*: Were.. were there nuts in the chocolate bar?
Dev: uhmm, yes. didn't you look at it?
Client: why didn't you tell me??!?!?!? I am allergic to nuts!!
Dev: uhh, I didn't know that. But srsly, did you not look at the wrapping of the fucking chocolate bar??!
Client: I am going to sue you!! You will go to prison!
Dev: Fuck off *leaves the room*
Image of the chocolate bar:
6 -
When I opened my digital agency it was me and my wife as developers, I had no savings and I needed to get long contracts ASAP which luckily I did straight away.
Lovely client, had worked for them before as a consultant so i thought it would be a breeze. Let's just say the project should've been named "Naivete, Scope Creep and Anger: The revenge".
What happened is that when this project was poised to end I naively thought I would be able to close the job, so I started looking for a new full time consultancy gig and found one where I could work from home, and agreed a starting date.
Well, the previous job didn't end because of flaws in my contract the client exploited, leaving me locked in and working full time, for free, for basically as long as he wanted (I learned a lot the hard way at that time) and I had already started the new agreed job. This meant I was now working 2 full time shifts, 16 hours per day.
Then, two support contracts of 2 hours per day were activated, bringing my work load to 20 hours/day.
I did this for 4 months.
The first job was supposed to last one month, and I was locked into it, all others had no end in sight which is a good thing as a freelancer, but not when you are locked into a full time one already. I could've easily done one 8 hours shift and two 2 hours jobs per day, but adding another 8 hours on top of it was insanity.
So I was working 10 hours, and sleeping 2. I had no weekends, didn't know if it was day or night anymore, I was locked in my room, coding like a mad man, making the best out of a terrible situation, but I was mentally destroyed.
I was waking up at 10am, working until 8pm, sleeping 2 hours until 10pm, working until 8am, sleeping 2 hours until 10am, and so on. Kudos to my wife for dealing with account and project management and administration responsibilities while also helping me with small pieces of code along the way, couldn't have survived without the massive amount of understanding she offered.
In the end:
- I forcefully closed the messed up contract job and sent all the work done to another digital agency I met along the way, very competent people, as I still cared about the project.
- I missed a deadline on my other full time contract by 2 days, meaning they missed a presentation for Adobe, of all people, and I lost the job
- The other two support contracts were finished successfully, but as my replies were taking too long they decided not to work with us anymore.
So I lost 4 important clients in the span of 4 months. After that I took a break of one month, slept my troubles away, and looked for a single consultancy full time contract, finding it soon after, and decided I wouldn't have my own clients for a good while.
3 years since then, I still don't have the willpower or the resources to deal with clients of my own and I'm happily trudging along as a consultant, while still having middle of the night nightmare flashbacks to that time.2 -
If y'all need a lil help with clients and conversating, here's my personal way of ending conversations. Just acknowledge it! (If all else fails, take things into consideration)
Friend: I hear that the most viewed youtube video ever is now despacito
> I acknowledge that
*conversation end*
Co-worker: I love my new shoes!
> I acknowledge that
*end*
Hot girl: hey sexy, you're looking fine today
> I acknowledge that
*end*
Client: hey could you add x?
> No
*end*
Sibling: you're adopted
> I acknowledge that
*end*
(Consideration example)
Windows: I will update
> I will take that into consideration
*end*
trogus: I will make a line of debugging ducks with capes with their respective language on it
dfox: I acknowledge that
*end*
Bus driver: sir please wake up the busses are closed
> I acknowledge that *sleeps*
*end*
Python: wrong amount of tabs/spaces
> I acknowledge that *uninstalls python*
*end*
devRant: you are running out of characters for this rant
> I ackno12 -
What is it with clients who have never even seen a single line of code in their entire lives telling me how long they believe a certain change request should take to code.
I mean, what if I told you that your "seemingly simple enough" change needed an update to 36 class files, 9 oracle stored procedures AND several database schema changes. Also, who the fuck is going to perform a regression test to make sure I didn't break anything? Your Uncle Bob??6 -
Me: How big do you want the banner to be (in pixels)?
Client: Mhhh... do default size
DEFINE 'DEFAULT SIZE' STUPID MORON9 -
The other day, I had a talk with my dad and he asked me about why YouTube is recommending him videos that he saw in the past or that type of ads. He is a non-techie btw.
I told him about personalized ads and so on.
Told him the "advantages" and the disadvantages of it. I even explained the advantages like if they would be so good that they are on the same level as holy things that happened to humanity. That was just to test him though.
And guess what?
He was completely against it. He said that it just brings disadvantages and no advantages at all. He was pissed that YouTube was recording his search history and so on to make a profile of him. He cares for his privacy. And I'm proud to have such a dad. :)5 -
When two different clients, on the same day, congrats and thanks us for the work made by me and my team.
This was today.
...
The best part, they pay the bills XD -
Fuck those clients which are surprised when they get an invoice when they ask you to do something for them.
I think it's as simple as:
- you know my hourly rate
- you ask me to do some work for you
- I give you an estimation
- you agree with the estimation
- I get the job done and show it to you
- you accept the edits/solutions
- I send you an invoice with less hours than estimated
- you agree with the invoice and pay
It seems that every step is going well, except the last one...
Well... fuck you too.13 -
A few months ago, I decided to let go some old clients with bad behavior and/or bad projects, since I noticed this was affecting my mental health (lowering my self esteem, make me feel depressed, anxious, etc).
I was exhausted of doing miracles in projects without git, build files, staging enviroments (yes... you can imagine), and receive all sort of curses when sudenly something stopped to work.
I set some requirements to work with any new project/client: 1) project needs to be under version control, 2) it must have staging enviroment, 3) I must work with build files.
As I still have contracts running, I'm communicating this to clients as soon as I finish my obligations.
Today, one of these clients told me they are leaving to work with another developer.
Reason: They said my new requirements are unreasonable and they prefer doing the old way.3 -
App nearing completion. Code tested, everything's working fine. Ready for release.
The client just calls me and tells me that they have decided to turn the app into two separate ones. Should not be a problem, you developers must have some tricks for that, according to the client. Of course, the release date remains unchanged.
Clients!, finally understand that there's no secret button for turning an app into two separate ones.5 -
I'm really starting to get annoyed with clients not understanding design principles.
I know they're not supposed to and it is their product at the end of the day but when I design something, it is for a reason. That "empty space" is for a reason. It is "negative space" next to something important so the FOCUS is on the IMPORTANT THING.
I don't just fucking leave gaps because "why not". I leave gaps to focus people's attention.5 -
So this client wanted a demo on Dockers. So I gave the demo with some microservices running on different containers. Later the clients come back and say, "Docker is good. But please fit all the microservices in one container." I say but that defeats the purpose of microservices. But no, the client say. I tried explaining but no is no. Shit!! Fine! Have it your way!!5
-
True story.
Some clients (especially in India) don't want to pay, but they want everything to be implemented in the project.
Big data.... Check
Machine learning.... Check
Deep learning..... Check
Espresso maker.... Check.
They want all the buzz words that are buzzing to be put in your project and they want you to put it in the 'cloud', for which you have to pay.....11 -
The worst part about being a web developer is when clients ruin a perfectly good website by asking for dumb things, even though you told them it's either:
a) near impossible
b) not useful/helpful to users
c) deprecated/no longer used code/techniques
e) will harm performance and SEO
d) just plain stupid8 -
!dev
Just went to the pet asylum to look for a cat. There was a shy black one (eh, maybe not a good first but Moar Blacker, Moar Better 😋) and a black and white one which was very open towards me.
Probably I'll get the latter, and build some food, water and litter dispenser systems for it with motors and my esp8266 boards 🙂
The lady who was volunteering there and showed me around had an interesting story though.
Apparently both of those aforementioned cats were wild cats (so they don't come from a proper household or anything). Except that black and white one which apparently came from some rather retarded people.. think average Facebook user.
According to her those previous owners came there with 2 cats including the black and white one as "extremely wild, we found them in the forest, put them in cages (because everyone carries cat cages in their car every day, right?) and brought them here". Nice excuse for average Facebook user level of retard I have to say 😜 but it's not very waterproof, you know?
But on average the people that they get there are even worse than that.. some get a great initial meeting with a cat, but then leave them there because they don't like the stripes on a paw or something stupid like that. As she put it: "you're not fitting pants in a clothing shop, are you?! 😑"
Had to try hard to not burst out in laughter from that description 😂
Point is, the average customers there are awful.. apparently she was very grateful to have a rather down-to-earth customer like me and my home supervisor (who helpfully drove me there 🙂) for once. So terrible clients.. they're everywhere!
It really taught me to be mindful of the hardships of people in any profession who deal with clients.18 -
this.isRant === True
Salute to everyone who can handle clients (the dumb ones).
So the client I'm freelancing for gives me this website and asks me to scrape entries out of it. It had about 45 items. I did that sent the file. Next day he says my file had the wrong data. He wanted data which satisfies X but the URL given was for Y. The least he could have done was to let me know in the first place instead of giving random URL to scrape and then blame me.2 -
I hate clients that tell the developers what to use without discussion.
We're paid to solve problems.
Dictatorship on tools and methodologies are okay with junior devs or interns, but when you have senior devs, it has to be a democracy.
Having limitations like browser versions or server capabilities are fine, but declaring which slider to use, you MUST use jquery, or all that jazz just grinds my gears.5 -
Bout to loose my shit. Fucking hate it when clients push and push to launch the system as urgently as possible. Say they have run through the test version and understand what they are getting and sign it all off. Then come back 2am the day after launch and bitch and moan cause its missing features they thought where there when they weren't part of the original planning and always use the excuse "i have just bought a bunch of marketing, your loosing me money" or "I have an important even with important people that need this tomorrow" and try make it your fucking problem.
Firstly, fuck you
Secondaly, fuck you.
I cant even comprehend your lack of logic.5 -
I just hate it when clients with no knowledge of developing says I'm looking for "more professional"
FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!
Somebody did that with dedication and you can't just call it that!!
SCREW YOU!!!
😡😡😡😡😡15 -
Wk1:, Client wants stack deployed to AWS in a day... Does it in 30 minutes...
Wk2: client complains about cost of service so requests I downsize the stack they asked for... Does so... Just to save some £££ at loss of any DR or HA capability
Wk3: Client wants stack moved to a different AWS account just cos... Advised could cause issues... Client says carry on. Migrates to account as requested on the days they requested.
Wk4: client complains that said migration caused issues and that proper change control wasn't followed..... That was never informed on..
Wk5: issue discovered to actually be network fault linked to clients wanting every £££ saved in AWS... And as the stack specialist I still have to write up a summary and findings?
Wow just get a decent AWS admin will ya....3 -
One of our existing clients who used to pay for two of our products but now only pays for one just called us. The one he canceled is a loss prevention product that tracks internal theft in stores. He canceled it because he didn't feel it was worth it.
Now, he's calling us from a police station because he's trying to press charges against one of his managers because they were presumably stealing from him.
"Hey I need to know how many times this person stole from me over the last few months and I need to know it now because I'm at the police station."
With just a few clicks that would be an easy figure to retrieve for him had he not canceled our product.
My stance is he can get lost. I don't even think he sees the irony of canceling because "it isn't worth it" and then "asap" needing the data that the "worthless" product provides. Of course, he wants it without reactivating the subscription.
Unbelievable.5 -
So last night was a Friday. After leaving the gym I noticed a missed call and a voicemail from my client.
Note this was sent at 21:50 on a Friday night.
My client stated they were "rather disappointed" (to use their phrasing) that I didn't answer. There is no contract that I answer out of hours or any issues with their system.
This morning, I noticed my client followed up with an email. It was a single line saying they found some new AWS services they like to talk about (translate: "I've found some new AWS acronyms that sound cool that I wish to talk about for several hours").
Emergency! :)
Seriously, clients, sometimes :(
4 -
I can't complain about clients on devRant because I make a REST API and some of my clients use devRant. Oh wait.
-
Here's to clients who wish to pay "per project" instead of "per month". Man, fuck that.
Back when I was still a novice, I took on a couple of small time projects from clients who contacted me after looking at my GitHub, and they all wanted to pay me a lump-sum for the project. Because I'm an idiot, I thought sure, what difference would that make. Boy was I wrong.
What followed was me finishing the projects well before time but because of the clients' constant reiterations and changes in design and nitpicking every decision I made while creating the websites for them, the projects dragged on for weeks longer than they were originally intended. And I fucking got paid that one-time amount in the beginning. All this maintenance, for free. Even though I had not explicitly agreed to the maintenance part, since they never finalized the specifications of the project, it just never got "done" officially, and all the maintenance part just came under development.
How many different kinds of disgusting does someone have to be to do this? I should've fucking said NO to those terms, but I had to have experience. Well, nice experience that was. Never again. :(1 -
So finished a project for a client, the client signed a contract. He signed off that all milestones where reached. Text me that he was very pleased.
We give 30 days to pay. 8 days before the due date he asked for a meeting, telling us he wants to go another direction and he wants the source code to show the new development team he's going with to get a quote from them. I tell him that, that's fine he can have the source files once he pays for the product which was in the contract they signed mind you!! And this FUCKING DICK FART threats to sue, saying he's calling his lawyer, threatening me and my development partner with physical violence, and saying he's going to sue me personally not because me work was bad but because I refused to give him the product before he paid. I was calm we offered to meet his new dev team explain the code, and show them what they needed to see to give the clients a quote and they would not allow that, saying how now I'm not getting paid instead I'm getting sued and that he will publicly shame my startup company. Just complete bullshit, good thing I saved the original contract he wanted me to sign which had threats of physical violence I. His contract... Which in retrospect should have been a hint, but it was the highest paying contract we ever landed. Seems he never planned on paying. What's a guy to do?26 -
You know how we all get frustrated with new clients who don't provide enough information or detailed background of what the last dev did or tried?
Careful what you wish for. Just took on a new client who has sent 3 separate Word docs, all organized and color coded and fully detailed with the website's life history. All 24 pages of it.
We are supposed to fix the checkout flow and organize the download directory. That's all. -
So one of our clients is changing the IPs of his systems (3 servers and one VPN).
It was scheduled that we should support them yesterday. They have tried to change the IPs yesterday for almost 16 hours, don't know they have done in all of that time.
Today I woke up at 8AM on a Sunday (in weekends I just want to sleep!!!!) to continue and hope that we finish fast.
BUT NO! THE fucking VPN IS NOT WORKING!! We are trying to do this over Team FUCKIN VIewer.
But guess what... they cannot either connect to the new IPs from their local systems.1 -
Why the hell does the client keeps changing the bloody specs? Do they think that they've bought us with their money?
😣😣😣😣6 -
Client: I want a new feature for my chat bot. It should be able to rap.
Me: ... k
*monologue: wait u w0t m8*
Also me: Can you please go more into the details? It should be able to rap. Ok. But how do you want it to look like? How "strong" should be the discrimination level, for instance?
Client: It should beat ass, yo.
Inner me -> core me: Let us just ignore him. We won't be able to do it, since he isn't really explaining his needs. "It should be able to rap". We are not wizards.
Core me -> inner me: Chill. We will just use some insult apis, combine it with cleverb0t api et voila.
Me: Alright. I got an idea for it. I can do it within this week. And if you don't like it, I will ofc do some changes to it.
Client: Hmmm... that's nice and good. But within 1 week?
Inner me: I can't do magic and pull that feature out of my fucking ass!
Clients... clients... clients...
0. Don't expect us to be done in a few days. We are also humans. And not fucking machines.
1. Do us (all devs on planet earth. -Microaggression in 3, 2, 1..) a favor and (kill yourself) learn how to request a feature.2 -
Has any of your clients asked you to disable inspect element and right click on webpages to protect their COPYRIGHT images from being downloaded...19
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How clients tend to not understand how much work developing a "simple" or "small" feature can be.
Hey add live chat, that's easy right?3 -
A "online" friend wants me to create a wp website.
I declined it.
Then he asked me, if I would at least try it, when I have free time.
Geez.2 -
Wish me luck. I HAVE to launch 10 websites (yes, ten) this week and half if not all of the clients don't know their DNS accounts or log ins. I foresee a lot of long nights in my near future. Story of our life, right?5
-
I work as the entire I.T. department of a small business which products are web based, so naturally, I do tech support in said website directly to our clients.
It is normal that the first time a new client access our site they run into questions, but usually they never call again since it is an easy website.
There was an unlucky client which ran into unknown problems and blamed the server.
I couldn't determine the exact cause, but my assumption was a network error for a few seconds which made the site unavailable and the user tried to navigate the site through the navbar and exited the process he was doing. It goes without saying but he was very angry.
I assured him there was nothing wrong with the site, and told him that it would not be charged for this reason. Finally i told him that if he had the same problem, to let me know instead of trying to fix it himself.
The next time he used the site I received a WhatsApp message saying:
- there is something clearly wrong with the site... It has been doing this for so long!
And attached was a 10 second video which showed that he filled a form and never pressed send (my forms have small animations and text which indicates when the form is being send and error messages when an error occurs, usually not visible because the data they send is small and the whole process is quite fast)
To which I answer
- It seems that the form has not been send that's why it looks that way
- So... What an I supposed to do?
- click send
It took a while but the client replied
- ok
To this day I wonder how much time did the client stared at the form cursing the server. -
So we are having lunch on a normal day when our boss announced that one of our clients are visiting and our boss is telling us to standby and act like we are working so that the clients will see us in action.
WTF!? Is this company *that* desperate!? Then they should hire actors not developers2 -
My first project at the job was implenting a website, designed by the same company we mostly worked with.
It was very stressful because half of the 2 months calculated for finishing the project, these genius designers needed for their design. Until then, I had almost no tasks to do...
When the designs finally came, I worked on it and two weeks later was a meeting for review and to decide about some details.
These fuckers then concluded, that the whole design did not fit the page and that they would rework it.
Two weeks later, on the planned release day, we finally received it. A completely fucking different design! Wow!
My boss was pretty angry and so was I. We had to move the release 4 weeks ahead, the client was pissed like a stinking hobo and it needed a lot of convincing to keep that client...
It's fucking nerve-wracking as well that we always have to wait in most projects for weeks for clients or designers to add the content before we can publish a website.
They don't seem to care if they have 2 months or 2 weeks, we never were able to release one single project on time, because of these lazy fuckers...3 -
So today a client requested that the domain name in the address bar should be all capital letters because of corporate design. Don't get me wrong, this is a valid request for someone who has no experience in the IT world. But he refused to believe me that it wasn't possible. He even claimed that he has seen it at least hundred times and called me incapable. I don't get clients.2
-
I just saw the most astonishing repo that will be 100% useful for developers who don't get paid by clients
I can't stop lmao
https://github.com/kleampa/not-paid2 -
Fresh internship story (Part 2)
I just realized how dumb my temporary boss really is and how much he loves to command everyone.
I told him that I am going earlier a few days ago and he got pissed lol.
He is someone who thinks he knows everything, but he does not.
He blames everything on everyone else.
He is never wrong, we are always wrong. That is probably what he is always thinking.
Clients who enter the store are precious (makes sense-you have to handle clients well, to get more bucks), but the thing is that he even screams near the clients at us. Besides of that I am new there. Be a little bit more patient, fucking prick.
Imho he is too old for the tech industry.
He loves to use the workers as slaves.
Do you work on a laptop rn? Well... fuck that. He has a new task waiting for you.
He keeps interrupting me every 5 to 10 minutes while I am focused.
Random dialogue from today:
me:"the client did a win10 upgrade and not a regular windows update"
boss:"nope. that is a windows update."
me (internally): should I show him the folder called "Windows10.Upgrade" and the "windows.old" folder both with the same creation date in "c:"? nah, fuck that. he is gonna put himself up again. do not want to have a stronger headache than this one I am having rn. (btw. I usually do not have headaches. I get headaches like once in 5 years, but since 4 days I have it every day.)
I am sick of this.
Today I had the urge to fucking grab his fucking "fuck me please" eyes out and eat them while he hears the explosive sounds his seperated eyes do. I still want to enjoy the rest of my life without going into a prison tho.13 -
I really wish people valued health over profit.
So I joined a company last month and last week I got assigned to the biggest client we have. The project is quite big and there are no deadlines coming up. I was sick for a couple of days and hence could not turn up at the office. Apparently the client called up my manager and went on a rant about this situation. So now I have to work on the weekends to cover up for the missed work while on meds that make me sleepy.
Fuck such clients.3 -
Clients: give them some free extra cheese and they'll just complain they don't have enough crackers.1
-
I fucking hate it to work for clients ... also i fucking hate it not to have any clients to work for.1
-
On negotiation and signing contract
================================
manager: yes you will work 8 hours a day from Tatta hours to Tat tat ta hours.
dev: okay great, i accept it. So no overtime and everythings right?
manager: that we will consider.
dev: hmm okay
=========================
Start working for about 1 month
=========================
manager: John, you not showing up at the office today? What happened?
dev: Sir, I have to stay up all night finished the last task as required and just sleep around 6am in the morning.
manager: John, i need to tell you. your performance is very great. Our clients are happy.
You deliver all the task. We love you, John.
dev: Yes thank you so much. I am happy too, but i need to sleep now i been over time for the last 3 weeks.
Manager: don't worry john, you will get reward later.
===================================
Weeks later:
dev: i need to request for leave, i am over work and now i am sick, my eye got red and cannot look at the screen.
manager: what is happening this month, you been late to work and you not deliver the task, you are sick and this and that, and depressed and whatever... tata taata,
dev: sir, when i first started you said i could only have to work 8 hours a day, now I work more than 12 hours day. What's change?
================================
life as devs in tough companies, high expectation and shit.
2 -
After playing Life is strange for 3 days (with pauses ofc), I feel my brain melting :D
And as I wanted to search for smartphones for cheap prices, I saw this great offer...
16 -
Why in the world IT work is so stressful?
I never been like that since I start developing code professionally, 8 years ago.
Since then, I had many health problems due stress, and some were really scaring (heart problem).
I'm trying to adapt to a healthier way of work, but I'm starting to doubt if that is possible.
Work in technology seems cruel and soulless sometimes. The constant pressure to learn new things all the time, to specialize in a lot of skills, simultaneously. The urgency nature of ALL tasks - even a simple form field slightly out of place seems to be an issue of life and death for clients.
Easy and quick communication made some people lost boundaries and respect. Many times I received calls and messages after midnight, about things like elements alignment.
And the worst is when clients blame you about their business problems. If they are not selling well this week, it's fault of the website you did ( which they are using for months now).
This actually happened to me today, first thing in the morning. After I slept just 3h, because I worked until late yesterday (oh yeah many more of these life/death updates).
What happens in this industry? Will this ever be different some day?6 -
Haha really clients make me laugh!
Yes you can have your website with all the bells and whistles, but sorry it costs money.
Do these people think we live on fresh air, while the reep the rewards for all the hard work we have done for them.
The problem today is everyone wants everything for nothing. 🤔1 -
!rant
Lovely and thankful clients do exist!
Last week the client of our last project came to my desk to shake my hand and thank me for my well done work. Keeping in mind that I'm a junior dev and our company has around 3000 employees I was really flattered :)1 -
Clients that add you on Facebook and start asking at 3 AM how their project is going.
No this is my personal life, how about you get lost and call or email me during working hours. -
!rant
All I want in life is to be left alone in a fucking sub-basement somewhere so that I can just code and research and drink coffee and ignore other humans until the day I die.
Is that so much to ask? To be left the fuck alone?
PLEASE NO MORE EMAILS OR PHONE CALLS CLIENTS! I JUST WANT TO WOOOOORRK!5 -
Client has an "urgent" release that needs to be launched immediately... So they keep changing the spec every few minutes with new changes, but are upset that the product isn't launched yet. Lol. Got to love clients.1
-
I'm a perfectionist and like things done the right way, but had to learn to let go and remind myself it's the clients site and their choice. No amount of logic and reasoning is going to stop a hellbent client from wanting the dumb things they want, even when it's bad for design, performance, usability and/or SEO.1
-
Get an email from a client, who has been stringing me along for about 6 months, but ringing me up for advice on tonnes of different shit for free. Basically did his original website but his business model has changed to make his existing site irrelevant. Suggested months back doing a simple one pager as a stop gap with key messages. The bastard said no to that "just take it down for now and redirect to my LinkedIn page". He keeps saying we are getting stuff together and we hope to get together in September. However, yesterday he sends an email "we are getting a student in over the summer (not a Dev or designer or anything). Could you recommend any "web builders" so we can get on with the website in August. By that he means those drag and drop fucking pieces of shit website templates full of wysiwyg editors for creating shit typography. I give them free help and guidance and they think that I'm not going to want to smash him in his fucking face for his last email. The cunt.
I have an idea for 'having the last laugh' but I am open to suggestions from some devRanters, all legal of course.
P.S. I post quite a bit here about shitty clients, but I do have a number of really good clients who value my work and experience and have been with me for many years. It's just some that treat the profession with disdain and that they can easily do it themselves if only they had the time. These fuckers then wonder why their businesses fail.1 -
Clients r wankers. He wants to be able to send login details incl passwords in email to his clients when he adds them in the cms. The passwords are encrypted and generated on creation of a new user. Ive told him that sending credentials in email is shit and not secure. The stubborn bastard wont budge, so instead i've put explicit instructions to reset password once logged in with the credentials they send. Any other suggestions?3
-
I don't know if I should be sad or be happy...
It's a few days left until I get back to college from my IT internship. The team was awesome. Literally awesome. The chief wanted to hire me as a developer. He asked me if I would accept his apprenticeship offer. I got stuck and couldn't answer :D
I would accept it, but I can't rn. Still want to study...10 -
Has anyone who's running a start-up had to deal with email happy clients?
I just watched a thread of 14 emails be generated for sending a maintenance contract which was already agreed upon.
Most of the emails are "thanks for the reply........."
To which some one will reply " thanks for the reply.........1 -
I may have over delivered my service to this first customer i got.
It doesn't help that pricing was dirt cheap and i over promised in a bid to make it attractive.
But in my hurry to please the client, I've been feeling so much stress since last 24 hrs. Dealing with customers suck. I hate this.
They can be little dumb and doesn't think much before blaming you if something's not working as expected.
I hate this feeling and now i remember why my initial business model was designed such that I wouldn't have to deal with clients.
But somewhere along the way, i forgot about that. :/
I wish I could get rid of this customer.3 -
Not programming, but when I started to make my first website in pure HTML by the age of 8. I was so fascinated that I can't tell :D
-
I'm pretty much sure somewhere in the wide world Web there's a clients community joking about ordering developers to fix their printers and stuff...
while making EEEEVILLLL laughs.
2 -
If your client doesn't know what the fuck he wants to see on his website even with all text and images included - don't take this fucking job.
They will let you choose a template and you end up switching it 5 times. "Oh we don't like it. What else do you have? Oh, this looks better." Next day "We don't like this theme anymore. We want to switch to what we had before."
If people can't draw their home page on a paper I tell them go fuck yourself straight in a face. I always put these people on my reference list so my future clients know I'm straightforward, not lazy, not low skilled, but honest with dumbasses like some of my previous clients.
You are asking for a basic website with 5 pages, you have a shitty budget and then I have to customize the entire theme and tweak every fucking possible element in CSS, HTML and PHP. Go fuck yourself. All you get for your money is WordPress with 15 min consultation how to copy paste your shit and save it. Never do fixed budgets, never work on projects like this if it's under $500-1000. Meet with the client to understand him/her better and see if he is a jackass-perfectionist or a chill person who won't be picky.
That's my memories of being a freelancer, trying to get any job for any budget just to build my portfolio. Never going back to this, at least not for small businesses with less than $5,000 budget. Reading people before you start working with them is a good thing.2 -
Let’s see I suppose the most pissed off I’ve been at work would be....
Being blamed for a clients mistake when their newsletter email settings where being changed over to a new mailing system but during the change over they wanted to still send out mail using the old list. So a single endpoint was kept in place so they could send one last newsletter out after it was approved as part of the migration and they were to inform us when they were done so we could change that endpoint over.
Several months later when everyone had long forgotten about it, the client tried to send another mass mail out using the old endpoint and complained when no emails had been sent.
I was blamed for making this mistake even though management approved the fucking old endpoint to be left in place at the clients request against my concerns that someone’s going to forgot about this and I was never informed to swap it over.
I quit on the spot and walked out the door after that. -
So pretty much all my clients have decided they are done working or responding to emails until the new year. Normally this would be fine and dandy, but I work in an office that says I have to be there every day still, and all my projects are in a state of "Waiting for Client Approval" so I can't move forward on anything.
I've spent two days so far just staring at my work pretending to do things while browsing the web, but I'm losing my mind here pretending to work when I could be doing other things. I still have at least 4 days next week where I will be in the office hoping someone responds, either say something is broke or tell me to push it live so I can get my projects out of limbo.6 -
Clients defining exactly how they want to build something they don't understand is a bit like me telling a brain surgeon to use a butter knife to perform surgery.1
-
FUCK YOU LIFE!
YOU LEFT ME 3 HOURS WALKING IN THE COLD TO GET TO MY HOME FROM MY FUCKING INTERNSHIP!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ORGANIZE EVERYTHING SO THAT I.E. TODAY THE BUS DOES NOT ARRIVE AT THE BUS STATION??!?!??!?!?!!
I ALWAYS DON'T HAVE LUCK. WHATEVER I DO... I (ALMOST) ALWAYS FAIL AT IT (not talking about skill-related stuff! fuck you!)3 -
Boss asks us to make sure out documents/instructions to clients are idiot-proof. I am not disagreeing this but usually clients are more idiotic than the most idiotic idiot you can ever imagine...4
-
We have a client who calls us right after sending an email in order to inform us that she sent an email. Guess she doesn't know anything about notifications!5
-
Finally... that was a hard game, but it was also awesome. I should have recorded my face expressions during the whole gameplay xD
7 -
So I guess one of our clients suddenly switched to a different website service... Without being told. I went to their website and it's so not what I worked on. I still have pending tasks for it, but I guess not anymore.
I think it's the same case with another client from before. -
That one client who feels entitled to immediate feedback and response from you, yet they're not paying you on retainer and know good and well that you have other clients. Then they get condescending in their emails and cop an attitude when you (nicely I might add) advise them to find another developer if they want people to micro manage.
Yeah, I just fired that client. Not dealing with this anymore. Good thing about being a contractor is that you have the freedom to walk and have a backup plan. And if they try to come back, I'm hiking the rates if I even take them back at all.
😎✌️ -
Lol
We, as a class, are in Austria for a week to do snowboarding and skiing. Today, when I woke up at 6 am to get ready for breakfast, I felt how ill I am.
I still managed to go to the buffet and eat some things.
After 15 minutes, I went to my room and rushed to the bathroom.
It was time to wear my snowboarding clothes and to go to the bus. But I wasn't able to do so. Told my room mates that I won't be able to get out of the bathroom. 10 minutes later one of my teachers knocked at my room's door and yelled at me that I should have told them earlier.
Like dude. Fuck urself. I can't hold my ass and I should fucking go to you and tell you what the situation is?! I can barely move, nga!
He also added that I should stay in my room and to meet him at night.
Like if I've done some heavy ass crime. Ffs2 -
No-contract client stops the project in the middle and wants his complete deposite (25%) back. How to tell this asshole that he has to pay even more??2
-
Since I am running a home server and want to be updated on what the stats are, I did create a webpage where I can get the "renewed" information via ajax (not with jQuery) in every 5 seconds. The thing is that I don't get the "new" information. It's still the old information that keeps reshown in the div.
I checked the server.php file. It keeps getting regenerated. Since, that is the case, it isn't the server to blame. But more likely the client.php is the one that is causing problems. May someone know how to deal with that?
23 -
I can't stand talking to clients on the phone!
One of my first freelancing clients used to talk to me for an hour at a time. I really wish I could have billed him by the hour, it took him twice as long to explain anything and then I'd have to get back in the mindset for what I was working on. The phone is just so disruptive.
I'm so much happier working for a company where the project manager deals with the client's and product managers.2 -
Hey boss,
Here’s a letter for you.
First of all, thank you for the stable job and advantages we have as a small business in the middle of the alps.
Following that, FUCK YOU.
Why? Because of the retarded clients I have to deal with because they’re your friends. Because I have to spend more energy doing fucking politics instead of doing IT. We have people that like t bla bla. Send them, not me.
Close me in a basement with a computer, a bunch of screens, a comfortable chair and a package of cigarettes. I’ll write Google from scratch for you if I need to (not sure I could at all). But please, stop fucking sending me to morons with the same IQ level of a sheep. And sheeps are more clever sometimes.
And last but not the least. Learn to fucking dress accordingly. We’re not in a gay pride but in a business.9 -
alright... seems like my day was really productive. spent about 10 hours in the company doing nothi-
Wait... I was online on devRant. How dare I forget that fact? -
I usually work in a two person team on a hybrid application we are developing, using AngularJS and node.
This normally works okay, because he handles the back end (he's been on the project since January last year, I joined in August as a placement student), and I handle the front end.
However, due to Christmas holidays and such, he's ended up taking an entire month off, and won't be back until the end of January.
I've dabbled in back end before, some routes and that for SQL queries, but nothing serious.
Last Tuesday our core service for the application that needs to be updated in real time broke and pissed off the API provider because we were hammering them with requests.
My first day on back end and this happened. I didn't really know what to do, and had to call my teammate to ask what to do. I essentially just restarted things, and left them as is, until I could find a solution.
From there, I had to mock the operation of the service (which is a complex enough beast) to figure out the problem, and find a fix. Our app more or less hinges on this service, so if it messes up, it's the end times.
All of this while flying on what I've interpreted because the guy that's on holidays was the only guy that knows more about this project than I do.
To make things worse, the clients are being very particular because they're waiting on investments and don't have money to pay our company. So, if they're paying for 5 days work, they're going to put in 5 days of project development. The problem is that their interpretation of 5 days of project development has not changed from when there were two people on this project.
There are 40 tickets in this sprint (ends Friday) and 35 of them are assigned to me. Granted, not all of those take a day to do, but estimates don't mean anything, I guess.
Ganbarimasu.2 -
Our work is highly valued, never forget it, always give value your work because the clients/bosses only want cheap/free things.
-
Spend >3 days preparing a proposal to a potential client...made it a bit cheaper to get into the company...
Now I'm too cheap to be good apparently...
FUCK CLIENTS!!!1 -
Why do clients wait for 17:55 before asking you to fix that nuclear reaction bug or that new "little insignificant feature i can't live without" ? Seriously, what the hell is your daily job ? Because i really want to switch to it.3
-
Who the fuck comes to the idea of printing the local IP address on the Fucking screen?
Yes, I know that it is not remotely accessable (only when there is no port forwarding set for that ip), but think of that this way: Someone manages to get in that network. Without scanning the network, you would have your first victim. You could analyzer the traffic of that victim and find more victims. And so on
8 -
Am I the only one who doesn't give a fuck about silvester and spends his night on his side project? :D
-
"Can you teach us how to do x? If not, how much would you charge for doing it yourself?"
Bitch, my time is valuable, if I teach you, I'm gonna charge you anyway... -
LAMP site. Client: Can you stick it on a USB stick, I need to show it at an exhibition and there's no internet. Me: If I had your laptop I could potentially replicate the server set up to run it locally. Client: I just want it on a USB stick?6
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Database is being slow AF again. Team lead is investigating. This is happening more often lately and affects both production and dev because everything is just in one gigantic database. So clients are calling support being angry about the speed they get and us devs get to twiddle our thumbs while waiting for our own data to load.8
-
All set up.
I found the shelf under the "ghetto" blaster outside today. Cleaned it up and it was good to go.
Put my dad's old music box on top of it. It's a bit dusty. Also need to clean that up. But for now I think it looks cool from under my desk haha
4 -
I had a random thought yesterday.
I was thinking about a computer virus that's been influenced by AI (machine learning).
If we would train a model specifically for such a purpose, how massive would its impact be on the Internet and how effectively could it change the world's direction (not the physical rotation lmao)?2 -
Bringing up the classic legend...
My parents think that I'm just playing games on my laptop all day long. :D Well... I'm almost the complete opposite. I barely play games tbh.2 -
Client: I want a fixed timescale and cost on this project.
Me: OK, what do you need?
Client: We need to integrate our website with our CRM system, which we're in the middle of rebuilding and don't know what data will be available from it. We also want sophisticated Google maps integration, online sale, digital agreement signing and a customer login section that works as a social network for our clients. And we want it in six months time. And an app. And we want you to pitch for free with some initial design concepts. And we want details of you project management strategy.
Me: Ok... Do you know what you want your app to do?
Client: Yes, it's an app! So how much will this cost me?
Me: D':2 -
My boss just said “as long as it puts a smile on the clients face, it’s worth examining, within reason.” Yeaaa that’s a bit broad... Some of our clients only smile when they have hookers and blow on hand. Is it reasonable to help them acquire such if it helps retain them as a customer?!3
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How about "nope"?
I have never been to an interview.
I would like to work in an IT company to get money(such wow) besides of my college time.
The thing is that... well... I'm not really sure if I can do this since I have 0 experience with interviews. I can not imagine the situation :)9 -
What the fuck is clients' problem? This woman comes to me after one of the last bids I saved and spent on her stupid task! She asked me to come on skype and I said I didn't have the ID and maybe we can go ahead with a phone call or whatsapp call or even Google hangout! She stopped responding to my messages when I had sent her 3 options! It's not like I was willing to back out but hey, I DON'T FUCKING USE SKYPE ANYMORE! What a waste of my precious last but one bid!
15 -
I was working on a new feature for this legacy project.. Just minding my own buisness then all out of the blue I got an email from our client (before the email I exported the live database because I needed to reproduce a weird bug) saying the sync stopped working
<backstory>
The database needs to sync every 15 minutes because it has a master-master relationship with a 3rd party database..
</backstory>
So I was like shiiit! Did I do that!? So I checked the logs, nothing... I called the 3rd part to check if they have problems, nothing.. Then I checked the network logs... Again all fine... 30 nervous minutes later, I got a new mail... Saying it finally synced... Still have no clue what happened or if it ever was a problem... God damn clients man... -
For all freelance Devs out here.
How do you get clients ?
Because am planning to begin with freelancing but am afraid that i won't be able to get any clients.4 -
The moment a client tells you to decide what they should pay and there is no deadline. I am amazed, really.1
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Man, I love it when clients aren't specific enough and then get angry because you didn't do EXACTLY as they pictured it. :)
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Client visits to Indian IT companies are extravagant affairs. It's Suit Up time, flowers and lights, decorations everywhere, Lavish Lunch and Dinners. While this happens I keep wondering, what goes in the mind of these clients. Are they excited, surprised, or they enjoy the hospitality.3
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I was browsing on this website called ebay-kleinanzeigen.de and got redirected to this wonderful page.
PS: I've no known virus on my phone btw. Made the tests.
6 -
I never had to deal with an attack.
At least, I don't know about it. My firewall couldn't detect anything.
I wish I could have experienced something like that tbh *sob*2 -
That shitty moment when you are reverse engineering an app (LINE), but can't find any useful hints.
Web analysis didn't help. Decompiling the windows executable also didn't help. Testing the app on different behaviour with python scripts didn't help. Analysing the android app on windows with the jadx decompiler and other decompiler didn't help that much.
BUT today it worked. I did use a paid "Dex dump" android application. I found some methods that the app receives from the servers with a thrift protocol.
Now I just need to find the right parameters to be finally able to make a bot. Hehehe.
That was a hard way, but it paid out. I did learn so many things. It took me like a whole year.
5 -
I am feeling so powerful right now I can not describe it.
I found out how I can get the methods and params outta LINE.
Now that I finally understand Apache Thrift and how it works with the LINE servers, I can make a thrift file, generate communication files for the LINE servers and use them for any programming language I want. Means that I can switch to a faster language than Python. Finally :)4 -
TL;DR: Clients are still dumb.
The sequel to a previous rant ...
https://devrant.com/rants/1210209
——
Client IT Lead: "We've loaded your code into our website, but *this* particular part of it isn't working."
Me: "Fair enough. I'll make a fix and have it deployed."
... an hour later, my changes are deployed, and I notify the client that the fix is live ...
CIL: "Thanks for fixing that so quickly! Just a heads up, but I've noticed that some of our own code needed fixing, so I've gone ahead and made some tweaks <that will most definitely break your code>."
... another hour passes ...
CIL: "Hey, so, I don't know what happened, but that fix you pushed stopped working."
——
🤔🔫 -
Since, I am already using Mullvad's vpn service, I also stumbled on https proxies.
Is it still safe to enter my devRant login data, when I would use a https proxy in FF's settings?
The Proxy is a free elite https proxy.
And devRant also uses SSL.
The traceroute would seem like this I guess.:
VPN(*le me sendin my password -> SSL Proxy -> SSL DevRant)
--------------------
Following that path, I would assume that it would be like this in detail:
HTTPS Request
-PW gets encrypted by VPN service
-" " " again " HTTPS Proxy
-" " " again " devRant itself9 -
[Public Survey?]
I'm in a stressfull situation.
In 2 years, I will hopefully attend a university of applied science.
I have two ways to go.
I can still go on with Computer Science and up with a Bachelor.
Or I will attend a university where I will get my Bachelor in Aerospace Engineering.
I know that this place isn't really a place to discuss this sort of topic. But Idk how else I should solve it. I can not get rid of this decision. Even tho it's a personal decision, I also want to hear your opinions.6 -
Clients that want to tell a programmer the logic flow of their program:
if x > y, "A" happens
if x < y, "B" happens
WHAT OF THEY ARE EQUAL?!?!?4 -
I often get angry at clients. Especially when keep trying to sneak in new requirements into an already frozen project. Like, were you asleep when we went through a month of design and vetted every pixel with you? Grateful the PM handles them with finesse.
-
I know that everyone rants about clients "knowing how long it takes.."
But a customer says "it shouldn't take long because it is similar to .."
Just why..just because it looks somewhat similar doesn't mean it is just as simple/hard to make..2 -
I don't know exactly what year my dad bought the PC with a hard drive of 4GB, but it was not in the year 2000 and following. I'm not sure if it was running win98 or win95. Probably win95. Aaah those were golden times.
I remember having no internet, but still having fun drawing images on ms paint.
Oh and there was a game named sesame street for that os. Sometimes I miss those times.3 -
When you're pitching to a whole team of clients at a resteraunt, and you find out a minute in that their WiFi is terrible. Pages that take less than a second to load take 30 seconds. Talk about first impressions. ....2
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Never had a more stressful day of dev in my life. After shooting off about half a million emails today to clients who decide that they want their sites to go live over the long easter weekend (fuck knows why they all want it this weekend) I just need some beer and some Zelda. I love this job but sometimes it kills me3
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Sometimes I love our clients (*sarcasm*). They kept pestering us to do things faster, and I really pushed to get a release done a week before I go on vacation so that there would be engough time to fix all errors (I did it in half the agreed time and it was done two weeks before but I became sick so couldn't test it). Then after I post it with a specific request to test it as soon as possible I hear nothing from them for three days. Yesterday they emailed about two unrelated issues and just mentioned that they'd "try" to test it before the end of the week. Yes, please do try so if any issues come up no one will be around to solve them for almost a month but they'd still ruin my vacation.2
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We're having a training session on how to speak with clients because we're getting feedback that we seen annoyed in our emails.
Probably my fault, not that I mean for that to bleed through into my replies1 -
"we need to account for every device and every browser that our clients are using" -_- stop using ie, you're the only "client" that will be using it to view your site. promise.
-
Well... not because of my work life.
More like due to incompetent HTC support and webhosting provider services.
I mean, I had to re-send my mails again and again and ... for 2 weeks. HTC, yes my friend. It's you again. Get YOUR FUKN SHIT DONE FFS!
BEING BIG AS A SHIT LOADED COMPANY DOESN'T MAKE YOU COOL! GET YOURSELF SOME COMPETENT EMPLOYEE!
HOW MANY WEEKS DO YOU WaNT ME TO SEND YOU MY PHONE'S INFORMaTION?!
ISN'T ONLY ONE SINGLE FUKN SHIT ASS E_MAIL WITH ALL REQUIRED ANSWERS ENOUGH FOR YOU AND YOUR HORNY EMPLOYEE?!
FUUCK YOU, BASTARD(S)!
AND NOW TO YOU netcup!
YOU FUCKING PEACE OF DOG SHIT!
HOW DARE YOU WANT ME TO PAY FOR CREATING THE WEBSpACE BUT THEN ALSO FOR THE INEXISTENCE OF MY WEBSPACE?!
THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!
YOU ROTTEN AND FiSH-SMELLING SLUTS!
I HOPE YOU ALL DIE IN AN ORgY BY GETTING A TONLOAD OF CUM UP IN YOUR HAIRY ASS aaaaand GET YOUR SLIMY CUM ON YOUR ... nvm that's just too hard...
FFS
JUST FUCK YOU!1 -
*le me being frustrated af trying to compile asm.
.section won't work for fasm. And some other things won't work for Nasm.
Now I got the .obj aka .o from the .asm. But ldrdf.exe from the nasm compiler isn't working properly. And I can't find a troubleshoot online. Seems like this will be a sleepless night...2 -
Apache Thrift!
Content-Type: application/x-thrift
I need to decode a message, but I'm stuck af. Thrift-tools, burp extensions, ThriftDecoder and several other libraries were not helpful.
Anyone who knows that type of stuff?7 -
Today I had to write some shitty code that should work on ie in compatibility mode which is like ie in Version 6. I only coded on the clients system and never backed up. Silly me. Every think worked so I continued with another clients project. Suddenly my colleague came in our office and told me that the client deleted my code by accident. I never will keep code on client systems only again in the future.1
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Been a mobile developer since April, liking the experience and the amount of projects that I've been a part of.
And one of the things that I've learned about this is that sometimes the client doesn't even know what he really wants. I mean for fucksakes, we implement everything, and new functionalities and there's always something that works on every other app (and is basically a standard) and he thinks is not suppose to be like that...
And another thing. Fuck Apple Store. At the company we've developed an app that practically shows information that only users should see (in our logic is sensitive information from our clients) and they DECLINED 4 FUCKING TIMES THE APP. Reason? Since the app's purpose "isn't correlated" with the basical information we show, the user can navigate through the app without going through login.
We basically added an "explore option" that shows basically nothing and they've accepted. FUCK APPLE FOR WAISTING OUR TIME AND THE CLIENTS TIME1 -
I read a comment earlier so I got curious. How do you handle questions from clients like:
This work should not take long?
This job should not be expensive?
It's just a copy paste, be done by the end of the day!4 -
I hate it when the clients seem so interested and then stop replying to your emails as soon as you send them your quotation for the project.2
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quote when asking what cleints budget is for a job....
"ah yeh hence the when your ready but it wont be paid at the start but should it pick up the will be some form of payment avalible to you"
needless to say this is the same client who is the original meeting states "wait so why is this costing me loads for a custom website can we not give me the rates for if this is a project im working in the side"
well only if im allowed to treat it as something that wont get done.2 -
Damn clients, they'll never tell you what they want.
And when you give them something, they'll point out useless "problems".
Either do it yourself, or give exact specifications -
One of the most annoying thing to explain to clients is caching and why their site isnt updated......,2
-
Replayed Prototype 2 today. In about 7-8 hours.
It is about to be 4 am rn. My head is like replaying all the voices of the game + my vision is like if I am high :D
Like if I would have a ping of 999 lol -
I have one project where the guy wants me to complete the project in 4 months which is fine. But, when it comes to payment he wants me to sign the contract in such a way that the total cost the app will be split into monthly payment.
i.e. total project amount of 200,000 Rupees will be broken up in 12 monthly payments..
WHY WHY DO CLIENTS NOT PAY STRAIGHT!
What should I do? Accept reject or suggest something else to them..15 -
Development planning:
Expectation:
Gather the requirements then estimate the deadline.
What are clients did:
Here is the deadline, then here are the requirements that we must squeeze into it.1 -
Is it just me or there is always a work emergency (or clients suddenly needing something new done right now) on the day before leaving for holidays?1
-
Went into a client meeting to present pricing, timescales etc. for custom web app. After a short period of chit chat they tell me they've gone way over budget. They explain to me that they'll need to close their business if they don't get this thing built (the business consists of him and the other guy at the meeting). They currently have a website that is an e-commerce type deal, apart from the checkout process doesn't work! They basically want me to do it for free.
I may consider if I was going to benefit from new clients etc. but I'm not.
However, the problem is that one of my companies has been (IT) supporting this guy's other company for around 5 years. It's a bit of a shitty situation as that contract accounts for about 15% of our income.
That meeting was last Monday and I told them I would think about it. I have another meeting this Friday and am thinking I'm going to have to break the news gently ffs.3 -
A="all bad recruiters, project managers, CEOs, CTOs, clients etc."
B="//replace A \"good version of {A}\""
1=A+B+"GIVE ME 1 MORE (DEATH) WISH EVERYTIME I GET STRESSED"
2=???
3=Profit -
Screw email clients and their html rendering engine, especially you, outlook, fucking disrespecting most of my css stylings3
-
Having to work for clients sucks. They are so rude. "We sent an issue over yesterday and it's still not fixed". You think you're our only customer? You think this shit is automated and takes no time to fix? You think you have resources working on you stuff 24/7. You don't man. Get in the queue and be grateful a load of time and effort goes in to your website. Sit down and stfu. Ahhh... that's better.1
-
FUCKING TOXIC CLIENTS. They want fucking 10MB allowance for each file that a user can upload. (Images and PDF) I hope their fucking server reached max capacity in no time.
FUCKING WANKERS. AND FUCK THE PREVIOUS DEVELOPERS FOR LEAVING SUCH A SHIT CODEBASE.
Who the fuck puts all the damn logic in a controller?
TOXIC SHIT. I CAN'T EVEN EXPRESS HOW FUCKING PISSED OFF I AM.3 -
Keeping the clients happy is very important but when you have alot of shit to do, being a glorified helpdesk bugs me the fuck out. My inbox is screaming at me: "Please no more... Master please end me!".
-
!rant
Does anyone else use the old “I’m not available today / tomorrow too” with clients when they come knocking?
Y’know, to let them know you’re not at their beck and call?
Am I evil?3 -
Ohh god kill me!! Instructing to edit the project on the last hour is the biggest sin someone could ever commit!! Fuck clients.1
-
I just woke up from a lucid dream.
I could really control the situation, but it was fun telling my mate how IT stuff works LOL.
It's 3.22 am for me rn.
I fucking told my classmate how the proxy server at our school works. How the packets are being sent and received, how they get cached at the proxy server and through how many nodes they approximately get.
PS: I don't have a rubber ducky or whatever you call it to tell the problems of the program to it.11 -
Our clients came from abroad to have 4 days of business meetings and planing about next stage of product development. Of course they wanted to go shopping and to restaurants etc. Obviously they can not call a cab because they cannot say the name even close to its correct pronunciation. Who do you think needed to babysit them? You guessed right - me. FUCK MY LIFE2
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Urgh clients, it doesn't work ? Ok how bout you tell me the error that's causing it and I might be able to help
All I get is it does nothing 😐
And you think I can diagnose a problem that apparently does nothing, from at least 10miles away with no remote desktop 😞 -
Told client in review meeting with missing PM (vacation) that the live release of their new website for the end of may is very optimistic and we probably should target a later date due to more change and feature requests.
1.5 weeks pass and the clients sends updated requests and also their new launch date: 18th if May.
Yeah sure also write your emails to the PM that is on vacation - like you’ve been informed of several times.
When deadlines get even shorter, I really envy not-agency people.2 -
Another potential client contacted me, they wanted a website building. I asked what the aim of the site was to the reply "there's no aim, a friend said I should get a website".
They run a gardening service. So I gave them a few examples of aims. They decided they wanted to showcase their work with the hope that it would bring in more jobs.
I emailed them a list of requirements as we had decussed over the lengthy phone call.
Two weeks after no response I get a call, "is my website built yet"
I explained that with the tiny budget and without content there is nothing really that could be built.
Needless to say I never heard from him again -
The moment of decision whether to hardcode something or keep it dynamic ...cause knowing your clients ...they're definately gonna come back with more requirements
-
Clients and their ever changing requirements!
When will they learn to fully explain what they want and commit to those features 😪2 -
Client: Hey, can you explain to me how this feature works? I'm totally confused.
Programmer: *explains the entire feature to client* Actually, you made the specs for this. *shows specifications document client created*
Client: Oh right. Sorry, completely forgot about that. It works great. But can we make some changes on...
OH HELL NO. -
One thing I realized about my workplace: when you're given a new template to be used for an existing website project, do NOT use the included CSS files. Seems like it would be better to just manually change the looks of the website to make it similar to that template, lest you want some alignment stuff to break.
Plus, it seems that I don't even need to meet all the design requirements, because whenever I try to do that, clients tend to forget the design they originally gave and request for all these changes.
One more month... One more month and I'm off to bootcamp to properly learn.1 -
One of our corporate clients insists that we push changes and updates to production on either Saturday or Sunday. I've worked weekends for longer than I care to admit now.
A major update that completely changes both the data model and UI is scheduled for deployment this Sunday.
Monday is going to be hell with support requests. -
Dealing with clients is probably the biggest personal challenge. I'm not much of a people person, and I find it hard to converse with friends and people I've known for years, let alone clients who are looking for answers for why things aren't working, and wanting you to explain exactly (but in simple terms) why a thing that seems simple is so complicated.
Another challenge, which is somewhat related is expressing myself. This again, stems from not being super great or comfortable in conversations, but as a dev, even among other devs, your opinion on things gets asked a lot. For someone who was used to sticking with the status quo and mostly agreeing with things, stuff like peer code reviews, or giving pointers on how to implement something is a big challenge (but I'm improving)2 -
We had almost finished integration of debit card depositing for our application.
Yesterday, the clients told us they signed a contract with a new provider.
This is after telling us they'd signed the contract with the previous provider, but as it turns out, that's a lie.
So we have to scrap the entirety of the last 8 days work because the new provider is a shareholder in the client's company now.
The new provider doesn't have an SDK for our language, and what they do have is XML.
It's time to parse, I guess. -
Motherfuck oh clients! My goodness their requirements.
They want a tiny part of an app load inside an iframe in a different app and have the data communicate both ways and the ui should look seamless and mobile responsive too.
What the actual fuck? iframe in 2016 ? Seriously?5 -
Last week a client had a meeting regarding an app I built for them for this one time project. This meeting occurred Monday.
Thursday I get a call at 8 am where they ask if they can get some fixups regarding the UI by Friday.
This despite the client knowing I work more than full time at another company and only take his business on the side.
Why does this always happen? You deliver a product and don't hear from the clients for days or weeks and suddenly they pop up and ask for a fix by the next day?
Ugh...4 -
The icing on this app release cake was piped this morning.
The clients released the app into the wild, without our knowledge, despite some rather large, glaring issues that are present.
As to why they thought it was a good idea, who knows?1 -
So the company I work for assigned me to a new clients project and has already proven to be a pain.
I checked all my emails late Sunday evening and replied to them (saves me the time in the morning) so I emailed this new client who was enquiring when a part of his website was to be done.
Me: I fully expect this portion of the functionally to be done by the tail of the week.
Client first thing this morning: why isn’t anything working you said it would be done.
Me: ...4 -
Why is it always so exhausting to communucate with clients?
It's been 11 fkin days since I started working on one really simple project, but it's still not done because client can't respond within 1 day...1 -
Do you also write long detailed emails to clients when working freelance / distance that your clients ignore and keep asking questions or inquiring things that are already answered in that email?
Sometimes I have to ask for the same thing three times in order to get an answer -
Some clients are down right stupid, the guy send me a shortcut to a video to upload to a site, this is man who wants the WordPress user manual
-
Clients who's cocoapods are littered with deprecated junk, forcing you to downgrade your ide, deserve to crash and burn. Fucking stoneage gnomes, upgrade your shit.
-
I hate when clients think they're always right.
Yesterday this client showed up saying that he had an emergency on computer, because after an update all icons turned white. When we told he the situation and that all data was lost, he begged to retrieve all the info because he needs it to work.
He was affected by ransomware, something like Fantom, and not only all the files are encrypted but also the backups.9 -
How do you deal with clients continuously rewriting the content for a static website and every time you deploy they rewrite it again?
Some pages of this site I'm currently working on are on their 6th version just for written content changes!
I wanna drive over there and punch them every time they do.5 -
It's the time of the year when we waste some days playing PS at the office and repeat to ourselves:
- no one cares, it's almost Christmas!
I have a feeling that after December clients will come looking for blood, and we will work 20 hours a day...
But...
Who cares? It's almost Christmas! -
Rant: I hate when clients complain about sizing so a team member changes my entire heading system just to change header size without going over it with anyone else I. The teach damn if it breaks shit other places or scrapped many hours of mobile testing, even better then changed class names some places ignoring our frame work and breaking mobile.
-
Stupid timeline, there is this company I was working for. It was sub-contracted by another company to do a government project. Government only pays after you deliver in my country. It was a complex system I must say. We were to work with my buddy on this project...now the timeline we were given were not feasible since another company had been given the same project and were not able to deliver. We had a meeting and discussed with our CEO about the project timelines. From the workload the feasible timelines were around 8months if we were to work as two devs. My CEO said that was not going to happen.. The only timelines that was allowed was not more than 3 months. So we suggest use an existing system to customize. .The meetings with the clients were to be weekly demos. So we choose to go with google docs api for the document management part. We were working around 20hrs a day to be able to achieve the target deadline..we management to complete the project within the given timeline..on the commissioning date of the project we faced a government panel and this was my worst disappointment. At the point of login we had to use Google email for business to obtain the API. Just as I was logging in the guy noticed and yelled. "Is that google account ?" and I replied yes..and he said "no need of proceeding since it will be of no use and they won't approve the system". That was my lowest moment in programming. I thought I had done the best project in my life as a programmer only for stupid man to declare my project as null. I felt like calling him son of a bitch but I knew that would have made me more angry...i just walked out. I went to the toilet and all I did was cry for the first time as I can recall.. My question was I was doing weekly demos. Why didn't they raise any questions by then so as to change the entire system??? Later after that demo we went and discussed about the issue and there was time extension. I redid the project using 'open office' but just before deploying the system I got a better job. I wasn't feeling like working on that project anymore. I want to release that project as open source. Recently after one year they haven't yet deployed the system. They are calling for my help. And I don't feel like helping after the humiliation...
-
I love it when clients call the website developer of the company and tell with how to do his job!
It's fascinating watching the struggle... -
If you are a freelance dev; how do you deal with clients that you don't want anymore?
For example: clients you have been working for a long time ago when your were younger/cheaper and knowing that they will never contact you again.5 -
I'm in a GoToMeeting with a client right now and her baby is screaming into the microphone. Boy, I sure do love working with clients.1
-
Spend two whole days solving an exception in a new feature, then the client decides that the old version is the way to go..1
-
That feeling when your clients are very well aware that you're away on holiday but they still try to contact you to work on some last minute edits on a project.3
-
Rant!
Cannot wait for DevRant stickers just so nusance clients, colleagues and manager discover this epic source of how much of an arse they are! -
Question for database gurus:
I need to save the openig hours of my clients in a database. Each day should have different opening hours and also the possibility for 2 breaks during the opening hours. There should also be an option for different local holidays for each client.
How to I acomplish this in a clean/performant/scalable way? Thank you for your answers!10 -
Just wasted two hours finding out why one of our clients rest API is not working. Apparently it needs a referer header for no good reason and this is no where to be found in the documentation...
It is great that you even have documentation, but please include all basic details!! -
I don't know why do we need to entertain our clients for each and every thing. I mean I'm handling every fucking exception out there I have like 10 flags handling individual stuff. and if I raise this to my boss he will just say. if they are paying then we are doing it. I mean come on!
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Everyone here rants about clients, and as far as I understand frustration, I understand client's side too.
For 2 years I have developed a tool for our company, my manager was responsible for outcome and was directly accountable to company's management, which made him a client for our product. Of course requirements changed many times, he pressured us much, but he is nice guy and gave us knowledge why we had to change things again. We had meetings with him, HRs, PMs and others to gain requirements for features to implement and that made me better understand client's point of view.
My point is that when you work for external companies, you only see changing requirements, pressure, deadlines, etc, but don't think that your work is just a part of process - your client is responsible for your delivery, wants to make good impression on superiors or company needs some feature ASAP. He does not have to know tech stuff, he wants outcome to be good and to be fast and cheap - that is business.
And yes - we had to tell people that X is impossible many times, had to tell Y people how things work over and over. It may seem easier when it is your own company, but note that every single employee knew that you developed that tool and you have answers for his questions. -
When I work for clients I despise, like those who ask for 10 things and while you're at it, those 10 things become 25, I just start the timer, go on reddit/twitter for some time and when I'm tired I start actual work...
Am I the only one like this?
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Same lol