Most ignorant ask from a PM or client?

So, so many. How do I chose?

- Wanting to 'speed up' a web site that we did not own, in Sweden (they used a service I wrote). His 'benchmark' was counting "one Mississippi, two Mississippi" while the home page rendered on his home PC and < 1MB DSL connection (he lives in a rural area).
- Wanted to change the sort order of a column of report so it 'sometimes' sorted on 'ABC' (alpha) or '123' (numeric) and sometimes, a mix of both. His justification was if he could put the data in the order he wanted in Excel, the computer should be smart enough to do the same thing.
- Wanted a Windows desktop application to run on an android.
- Wanted to write the interface to a new phone system that wasn't going to be installed for months. Even though we had access to the SDK, he didn't understand the SDK required access to the hardware. For several weeks he would send emails containing tutorials on interfacing with COM libraries (as if that was my problem).
- Wanted to write a new customer support application in XML. I told him I would have the application written tomorrow if he could tell me what XML stands for.

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    Why do they count Mississippies in Sweden
  • 9

    >Why do they count Mississippies in Sweden

    We're in the US, the partner is/was in Sweden. We have somewhat sophisticated benchmarking for our site, and the partner's page did load within our standards within our office (we have fiber). The PM wanted to have the same 'customer experience' at his house.

    Best part was when the Swedish partner sent an email asking that 'Joe' stop sending requests to speed up their site for the US and any further interruptions could risk contract termination. Didn't stop 'Joe' from asking our Network admin if there was any way he could 'intercept' Swedish traffic and make it faster.
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    @PaperTrail the network admin should give a comment abt this in here too. Would love to hear his side of the story haha.
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    >the network admin should give a comment

    Our network admin 'Doug' was the initial target by the PM to speed things up. Doug said it took a while of convincing (seriously) that we have zero control over what happens over the ATLANTIC OCEAN. The PM knew the partner's site used my service, so he made the intellectual leap that the performance 'issue' had to be my service.

    A little more to that story (the PM got my boss, and his boss involved), but I'll run out of space.
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