9
kiki
4y

Boubas: adjusting their sleep schedule by forcing themselves to go to bed early. Result: bouba turns all over the bed for three hours straight trying to find a comfortable position, sweats, stands up to adjust windows and AC, now it’s too cold... ends up actually falling asleep later than usual, wakes up fucked, as always.

Boubas who think they’re kikis: take melatonin pills. Result: bouba can’t sleep without their bouba pills.

Me (the kiki): wear blue light blocking glasses from five o’clock on. No blue light = no melatonin burned, go to bed at 11pm, sleep like a teen girl after a rough teen sex with her teen boyfriend.

Yes I sometimes wake up at 3am but that’s because my brain is too kiki to sleep. I feel refreshed, TOO refreshed in fact.

Comments
  • 2
    we have a saying: who is tired. sleeps.
    so do something that is exhausting.
  • 6
    @coffeeholic it’s 2020. My rants are targeted to rich bisexual zoomers just like me who can only be tired of their fancy evening runs or of sucking dick too much.
  • 5
    @uyouthe :D ok. I was not expecting this answer. I thougth about to do some work around the house or hit the gym.
  • 3
    @uyouthe You had me at sucking dick
  • 1
    @uyouthe You forgot one side effect in the first paragraph: you waste so much time in bed you end up with a fucked up shoulder because your body can't handle itself. *rages*
  • 1
    I feel attacked by your rant. You just described me right now, at this exact moment, with insane accuracy. I guess I'll go to sleep now that I feel guilty XD
  • 1
    I set an alarm for early morning and it was working... for 3 days, until my body figured out how to disable it while staying asleep. I can't do anything about my fucked schedule because i'm so not asleep when asleep i can have proper conversations without waking up.
  • 1
    @neeno who are you lying to? You’re too busy running your own restaurant and fighting Gordon, you just come home after all that work as a chef and fall asleep just nicely
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