Today boss called me on my personal phone to ask where the fuck I am after not answering a low prio mail for 10 minutes from his pet project.

We have voip.
We have chat.

No pressure meant...

who the fuck names their table aliases a, b, c, d... in a long query

will windows ever get ready?

today

me: How should we proceed with the tests?
customer: Yes

(it was a longer technical how question but the answer was the same)

When coworkers leave the co. for a better paying job and leave this kind of code after themselves:

int foo = 1;
String.format("blabla %s", Integer.toString(foo));

fml

Found this in a class that has not been touched for 2 years:

// TODO do we need this check? Clarify on Monday.

wtf eclipse... fuck you

synchronize project in eclipse. no changes...
mvn relase:prepare
BUILD FAILED: you have local modifications pending...

me: deletes comment from pom file
eclipse: there is a problem...
me: refresh project manually
eclipse: ok.. its all good now.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Signal

for making secure communication easy to use, accessible to everyone and open-source

I think credit card comanies should pay me for using cards not vice versa.. or don't do shit like this when I am paying for it...

https://bloomberg.com/news/...

time paranoia

Interlnal lib documentation:

'This is a short description: Lorem ipsum...'

Don't know why I expected more...

!rage

*PM 6 months earlier: "Do whatever u want with this lib, your softw. will use it."
*PM today: renames main public function names in my lib - used by about 10 processes of mine.

*Me: (╯°□°)╯︵┻━┻

Customer: "There are only 'X' values in COLUMN_D, your - report - import is wrong!"
Me: select count(*) from table_a where column_d is not in ('X') -> returns more than a thousand... Yeah please only scroll within a couple hundreds of records in your shitty sql client gui without making queries. Fuckhead.

If only Maven was a hot chick,
I wouldn't mind that she fucks me anytime she can...

PM's latest modification on my code:
deleted log
deleted my name from author comment

sometimes i am demotivated by slow / freezing IDEs, explorers and type delays.

*QA chick tries to run software
*software doesn't start / throws an exception
*she does chmod 777 *
*still doesn't work
*blames developer

SHE DOES A FUCKING CHMOD 777 ON EVERY FUCKING FILE AND FOLDER LIKE THIS IS SOME BLACK MAGIC FUCK

*PM looks at my code
*Deletes my constants, replaces with inline strings
*Changes order of conditions (that I tested)
*Hits save --> autoformats code into shitty looks
*Commits: "fix"

Once I implemented a giant ASCII skull for logging a fatal error in the company's app. Let's just say my feature did not get to production.

installed Mint with xp skin on an old family [win] computer. they didn't even notice it