40
EDragon
19d

I just had my very first salary negotiation in my entire life and now I just want to hide under my bed.

Why is it so damn painful!?

It’s not like I’m asking for sacks of money, but I also have to think about what allows me to have a place to live & what valuable skills I offer
Both parties should get an acceptable outcome right!?
Like there’s no insurance, no benefits.
Having this conversation so soon may have been a mistake. Fuck
I hate this feeling!

Ok wake me up in January

Comments
  • 14
    Feel ya. Just know that most negotiations come down to set salary scales. You don't ever have any real negotiation power, you're just fighting against a number you can't see to prevent them from low-balling you.

    This is why it is essential for employees to share their salaries with each other.
  • 6
    @SortOfTested I understand this much & agree. I guess it’s more of a conversation than a negotiation per se either way you’re advocating for yourself & what you can do and that’s the hardest thing for me to do.

    Yesss! Why is it so frowned upon when employees ask each other about this?
  • 4
    In the meantime I’ll keep looking for other jobs
  • 4
    Even if it doesn't work out, there's straight up nothing wrong for asking.

    Any employer who would get pissy about an employee asking in an appropriate manner ... is not worth working for.

    I suggest this method... granted I've never used it:

    https://youtube.com/watch/...
  • 8
    @EDragon
    Pay secrecy (illegal in the US, but still present in contracts because it's merely unenforceable) allows companies to keep employees in the dark on what others are paid as a means of quashing discontent, and avoid having to pay reasonable wages to all people. It's just scumbaggetry.

    The thing to watch out for is that companies, even though they know they can't terminate for it, will cook up other reasons to get rid of you if they suspect you're guilty of it. Build strong relationships with your colleagues for this reason.
  • 4
  • 8
    @EDragon Two reasons.

    1) Employers can't as easily haggle down employees who have low negotiation skills.
    2) If an employee finds out that a co-worker on equal level has been able to negotiate a better deal, some folks direct their frustration against said employee instead of the employer, which creates a bad company atmosphere.
  • 4
    chris voss: never split the difference
  • 3
  • 3
    I feel compelled to clarify that I am NOT a millennial or from the “never ending praise” while growing up generation.
    In fact I’ve heard the opposite and that might be why it feels this horrible to just speak up to be treated fairly.

    Just in case anybody was dying to know
  • 5
    @coffeeholic I’ve read it, though it’s been a while
  • 6
    @N00bPancakes I was confused until I saw the author’s name again.

    I like you, you’re my kind of random weirdo ☺️
  • 3
    Salary negotiations suck for sure because the recruiter has dealt with so many candidates already. I'm a little tempted to just hire someone to do the negotiation for me and let him take a cut of the increase if there is a service like that.

    This is why I dream about FIRE sometimes. The power of always being able to walk away. *drool*
  • 3
    I feel you. I was so disappointed with my raise. The best way to get a salary increase is to find a new job.
  • 4
    @drewbie aw I'm sorry, well I guess we continue the search
  • 3
    "If you can't tell someone to go to hell then you can't negotiate with them" -Jordan Peterson
  • 4
    @juanchdzl this is good!
  • 6
    I experienced number 2 of what @Fast-Nop said. Some people are bitter and stupid. They'd rather get mad at someone else instead of themselves for not upgrading their skills and negotiating.

    It would be easier for you to negotiate if you're also applying somewhere else or you don't care that much whether you get the job or not. Interviewing with other companies also gives you an idea on how much you can really get because there are some who straight up tell you the range they are willing to pay and the benefits that come with working for them.
  • 5
    Assuming your position is important you can just be confident. The process it to filter out people that aren't assertive. "The wage I am being paid isn't competitive and/or doesn't allow me to meet financial goals. I would like this amount."

    I was working with massive company. They put me with someone several levels above me in the organization hierarchy.

    He said, "That is the kind of raise we can't sustain."

    I responded, "What I am asking for seems like a modest and competitive salary."

    He said, "I don't think we can afford to give out raises."

    To which I replied, "Hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of product made and shipped using the software I made and maintain."

    He said, "We recognize that your software has played a big role in meeting objectives."

    I replied, "Yes so do I. Which is why I don't think what I am asking for is unreasonable."

    "Okay. We will work the financials out."

    That amount is half what I make now.
  • 1
    Did you do your homework well on how to approach this situation?
  • 2
    When I was in a possition where my salary deal went sour as the management changed, I gave notice. What should have been a considerable raise changed into "perhaps we might consider 5%". No reason to hope and fight for more if you can get more by changing jobs. I have met great teams and many good people on my journey. Most everywhere you go you will find good people. So just find your place where your skills shine and you do great things for a decent pay. Remember though... nobody got rich on salary. Find other means if that is what you want.
  • 3
    @F1973 I thought I did although the heat of the moment is always different.
    I expressed my gratitude for the opportunity.
    I brought up the fair wages for the jobs with my experience & skills in my area, I mentioned what I liked about the company & hoped to accomplish & help expand etc.

    It’s still awkward & feels as if it was not taken well.

    I
  • 2
    @EDragon maybe then you can reflect on your soft skills if it wasn't received well.

    However, based on our previous communications, you seem to be okay and HR must be dumb.

    Don't take things personally, learn and move on babes.
  • 3
    @F1973 thank you for your kind words even with all my tag fails.

    *Update, I was asked to sign something & when I asked to discuss it first, I was suddenly no longer needed.

    🤣
  • 2
    @EDragon It's a scam.

    Well, I charge per word. So that'll be $10.83

    I accept only Cash or Bitcoins.
  • 4
    @F1973 it was a total fucking scam!
    I was upset about it but
    now
    I'm relieved I don't have to contribute to a SPAM factory.
  • 1
    @EDragon they low balled you on salary?
  • 4
    @F1973 of course! Big time! & I wanted to discuss it further after all it was only supposed to be a 30 day trial.
    Pay was stupid which I was willing to live with for that period— then instead of discussing it, they snuck it into the “no sharing trade secrets” agreement and then said if I don’t sign it they don’t see us going any further.

    In short, they thought I didn’t have a Google machine to see how dirt cheap I was, once I wasn’t willing to be taken advantage of I wasn’t worth it.
    Although they were giving more to do everyday, for cheap!

    They played themselves, no wonder devs don’t spend more than 2-3 months there or end up starting competing companies.

    Pffft!
  • 4
    @F1973 i take responsibility for not starting off negotiating better that was me but they only told me I was being paid 30% of what the other dev was making after the fact!

    They can build their shitty sites themselves!

    And happy fucking Sunday. My fave.
  • 2
    @EDragon hahaha you dogged a bullet.

    Yes, never lower your self worth. If you don't respect yourself, no one else with.

    You did a good job. Add this to your experience book.
  • 4
    @F1973 yessir xp points 😆
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