Can we please make it a mandatory lesson in CS studies and related education that "No hello" is a thing?
I'm fine with greeting me before you state a question, that is polite. But it is impolite to send a DM "Hello $username" and then begin to type your three paragraph question while the other person waits for you.
Just use Shift-Enter and send it all in one message, the app supports long-ass messages!

No this whole hello should he forbidden

I am chronic time waster 😞
I actually talk to people even if I don't need anything.

You can't just ignore it for 5 minutes and then come back?

@gibus No, it disturbs my flow. It's damn hard to concentrate on something when you know you've only got a timespan of another 30 seconds to 5 minutes before the next ping - which may contain all the details you need to answer the question, or may be followed by 5-10 other messages with varying amounts of crud.

Honestly, I just tend to ignore stuff like that for a long while, make a point of saying "ah I generally get to emails more quickly", and then wait until said colleague just learns to email with their problem instead.

@NickyBones I actually have no problem with that whatsoever. I can hold a casual conversation with someone over IM while doing something else no problem. Answering technical questions from someone who's forgotten everything I said last week is a different ballgame though.

@AlmondSauce In the good old days pre-Covid, I would just stroll into people's offices/cubics. To my defense, since I knew what all the teams are doing, I occasionally saved them some time (e.g. duplicate work) :)

@gibus No, because most people who use "hello" as a standalone message also send 20 messages because multiline messages go over their head. That's another pet peeve but they come often together.

Too many times I get an "hi X" followed with a story five minutes later, followed with a question five minutes after that.
So yeah, please make this happen

@NickyBones You are a good-souled earthling :)

Hello

@HiFiWiFiSciFi triggering intensifies

You just managed to stall me indefinitely until I can go home today. Good job, you evil person :D

@NickyBones I really enjoy relaxed work environments like that. Bunch of guys here did similarly in times gone by.

That's not even that bad. Some people just write hi and don't continue until you answer.

@electrineer I quickly learnt to wait until those people were OOO before responding.

@electrineer in my case that would result in a very short monolog since I specifically wait for a second message if I see a "hi"

Only ”hello”? Sounds like a dream! my colleagues writes “Hello” then wait til I reply (which could be hours later) then follows up with “how are you” (a few hours later) and then wait for me to reply again (another few hours later). It takes them a whole work day to state their question 😅

@ifThenElse The trick is not replying to the hello until they stated a question ;)

It's like not responding to an input if the end-of-transmission marker is missing.