What is the purpose of using MongoDB and then adding mongoose?
If you want schemas, relations and all the jazz mongoose offers, have you considered using a RDBMS instead of a datapile system? Most (probably all) SQL databases support schemas, relations and all the jazz you seem to need.

So, ask yourself: Do you really need the functionality of a NoSQL database or do you just want it because it's shiny and new and "everybody uses it (tm)"?

I opened an issue on a repo telling the owner that placing a "test passing" badge on the readme but not having other tests than an "ExampleTest" and no tests of the actual functionality is bad practice and what he thinks about updating the readme.

The result was a deletion (not close) of the issue and a ban from contributing (issues, PRs) on any of his projects.

And it was not some small "ten persons use this" project but a large boilerplate project with 2.4k github stars and over 800 forks. You would expect a little bit more professionalism of someone with that popularity.

Can we please make it a mandatory lesson in CS studies and related education that "No hello" is a thing?
I'm fine with greeting me before you state a question, that is polite. But it is impolite to send a DM "Hello $username" and then begin to type your three paragraph question while the other person waits for you.
Just use Shift-Enter and send it all in one message, the app supports long-ass messages!

What a fucking shit show. You buy an original DVD but cannot watch it because of a stupid copy protection system.
"Injects purposely damaged sectors into the DVD in places not read by most DVD players."
Well tough luck, VLC reads all sectors and chokes on the corrupted ones.
Here I am, sitting with a legally bought laptop, a legally bought DVD and a legally owned playback software, yet unable to enjoy my property.

THANK YOU HOLLYWOOD! >:(

Shower thought:

The anti-procrastination-technique "If it only takes five minutes or less, do it right now" is basically "Shortest Job First" for Real Life

We are soo sorry we missed you last Saturday night a bit before eleven.
We will try again to deliver your parcel, another day (or night).

Maybe. Maybe not.

What the hell is wrong with recaptcha? It is solely there to be a nuisance, especially if I use a 2FA device. I do not fear hacking attempts against my username+password, because the 2FA will keep the lucky guess out.

Outlook just thinks it's smart by removing "extra linebreaks".
It's not like we had a special thought in mind as we formatted the plaintext mail as we did.
There is certainly no reason why we choose to break after exactly that word.
Outlook is much smarter than us, so we should be grateful for its insight. NOT.

And now we have to instruct customers to click the correct banner to display the linebreaks as they were sent.

And HTML is not an option in this use case.

Why are there so many "curated list of X" on Github? I really liked browsing the trending page because I found several gems of OSS in it. But nowadays it seems chinese course materials, "curated lists" and so-called "H4Xx0r-Res0urces" share the space on the trending page. Has Facebook arrived on Github?

Can companies please check their address policy for consistency before implementing some bullshit constraints? Literally happened minutes ago:

Me: __enters address "city"__
Website: Hey, I auto-correct your city to "City (Region)"
Me: __submits form__
Website: Whoa there, you can't enter braces in your city name!

"You got hit by a directory server."

or

"You got slapd"

Five words every developer hates:

"Welcome to the new experience!"

My complete day consists out of waiting for CircleCI. Why the hell is it slow af today?
I feel like playing fuckin Hay Day and am waiting for my carrots to sprout.

Who the fuck invented the glorified pile of shit people call laravel? Is this actually used in PROD for anything else than load testing a monitoring server by creating loads of error messages?
OOP exists for a reason, not to create bazillions of classes with static methods.
Dump that shit ffs!

Me sends the laptop to hibernate to get off the train. As usual, the laptop goes to hibernate and shuts off after a few seconds. Not today, today it decided, it likes it much warmer than healthy for it and now I'm sitting here with a hot laptop in thermal emergency shutdown. Damn it

What is wrong with Java CLI applications? Is it really necessary to output a billion lines consisting of INFO an WARN messages?
If I work some longer with beeline I turn into a Java application myself.

INFO: Writing rant
INFO: Clicking submit
WARN: Heart rate too high
ERR!: SHUT THE FUCK UP JAVA!

Developers created IDEs with intelligent code completion and languages provide users with an annotation syntax to document their methods.

And then there is Python, nuking all the efforts of our ancestors by dynamic typing. And they are smug enough to call this laziness duck typing. "If it squawks like a duck, swims like a duck, walks like a duck its a duck".
Shit no, it ain't a duck because a fucking goose does all the same but is a mean bastard compared to a duck. You might pet a duck but only the craziest will attempt to pet a goose.

Fuck python and undocumented methods in particular!

LPT: Name your branch after your user name.

If you select the branch in your IDE the status bar shows "Checking out dbx12". So at least someboddy is checking you out.

Me: _sends an email_
Mailbox: "OVERQUOTA! Operation not executed"
Me: Ah dang, Inbox already full.
Me: _deletes mails_
Mailbox: "OVERQUOTA! Operation not executed"

Me: WTF? I'm already deleting messages!

I use a library and it gives me some strange error message. No problemo, just file an issue on GitHub asking the maintainer if I'm plain stupid or the lib actually has a flaw. As it was a question, I have not posted a dump and all the shit.
Maintainer responds with a snarky comment about his crystal ball being broken and I have to submit a log, a dump, debug information and a bunch of other stuff.
Well, what choice do I have, I collect all the requested information, create a wall of text comment, all nicely formatted.
And the issue ends here. Myths say, the maintainer got asked to join Elvis on Mars.

I mean, why do you ask all the shit from me in a unprofessional manner just to stop answering? Just say "I have no clue why it behaves like this" and I know whats playin. But that's just ... sad.

Someone wrote a piece of code half a year ago. It's fuckin complex and recursive. And uncommented. Today it's my job to figure out WHY and HOW it works.
If it wasn't clear before, that someone who wrote it was me. I'm not sure if I was on some substances back then, but that shit is fast and I have no clue how I was able to create it. Perhaps it was the coffee overdose...

However, wish me luck figuring this thing out.

How to fix issues the easy way:

1. Provide users a way to raise issues
2. Immediately respond to new issues saying you added them to the internal ticketing system
3. Wait till the affected product reaches EoL
4. Tell the customer you are sorry, but as the product is now after EoL, you cannot use any resources on fixing the issue
5. Close the issue

Dear bluetooth headset,
I know your battery is low, thanks for the notice. I have 1 hour work left, after that you will get your charge. I also know you underestimate your own power and can do more than an hour on reserve.

So suck it up and stop being a whiny bitch blaring your damn "battery low"-beeps into my ears. It's way too loud and beeping every 10 seconds will only strain your power reserves and my nerves.

Yours sincerely,
dev13

The $customer gets a device from us, with th wifi connected as specified in the order. $customer connects it to the mains and monitor, puts in the dongle and the connection is established.
Fast forward 3 weeks, now everything went south. The device does not connect to the network, the service is offline. Our first question: "Has someone modified the WiFi name or password?"
$customer: "No, there were no changes in the WiFi"

So the full arsenal of debugging the connection over LAN starts, interrupted by $customer unplugging the device "because he needs LAN now"

After sometime, we figured out, everything is fine with the device, and ask $customer once again, if the config $ssid and $password is correct.

$customer: "Oh, we changed the name to $ssid2 because it looks nicer, is that a problem?"

Internal: "Are you f*kin kidding me? I asked you exactly that"
Me: "Alright, that explains the issues. Please tell us in advance if you want to change something with the WiFi."

Me: Who wrote this fu$$in mess of code? Never mind, we will get the dirty hacker.
*Runs git blame*
*Silence*
Me: What a innovative way to solve the problem! I'm a genius!