9
yehaaw
33d

I’ve started to develop anger issues due to my work. Hurray, I am at that point as an adult.

Comments
  • 4
    Not yet. How you deal with the issues will define if you are an adult or a big child.
  • 1
  • 5
    What was the realization moment?

    I started to have major anger problems at a previous job at my fourth year mark. I'd like to believe that I did everything any article you google online said to do in those situations: meditate, exercise, eat healthy, change how you phrase things, keep a stress journal (more like stress NOVEL!), talk to a therapist, etc. Yes, I even went to a therapist where 95% of everything I said was about my job. I was so embarrassed of myself when I realized that was ALL I would ever talk about to anyone. The other dev I looked up to the most would say things like, "Have you tried just *not giving a shit*?" I couldn't do it. People would insult this guy to his face and he'd just stare with his smile unwavering and say, "Whatever." It was a very depressing feeling. "Why am I like this?! Why do I give a shit?! Why can't I just walk in and do my 9 to 5 and be done like everyone else?!" I quit as soon as I got another job.

    It turned out to be the job. Who knew...
  • 4
    I hope you find a way to be happy and disconnect from the things that are stirring anger in you, whether it be a mindset or the job itself. The therapist kinda helped. But...yeah...nobody else understands what I mean by "git clusterfuck"
  • 4
    I had anger management issues before I started working, working helped me understand that it's not my job to be angry, at most it is to be offended, and normally it is to either ignore stupid people or solve stupid problems
  • 1
    Yes for me its the opposite. To use Angular, you either have to become a zen master or eat your own stomach.
  • 0
    @ostream we have that in common too :D
  • 2
    @CatFoodParty It’s really hard to “not give a shit” about what you do, because If you do, then there’s no purpose for what you do and because of that self respect goes bellow non-existent.
  • 2
    I felt that way about a job once. Being angry about the shortcomings of everyone else just left me feeling isolated and depressed. The depression eventually caused me to get on meds, to which I tried almost everyone available till I asked my Dr if I'd ever find the right one. He told me that 95% of depression/anger is circumstantial and that a magic pill doesn't exist to help people get over whats bothering them. Made sense to me, so I quit that job, gave up tenure and great benefits, but I've never looked back and I'm now happier than I've ever been. Tldr; It's not you its the job, dude.
  • 2
    @yehaaw I agree. "Not giving a shit" doesn't work for me either. I thought that was the key for a long time. I've recently realized (partly thanks to this site) that I'm not setting clear boundaries at work about how far I'd be willing to bend for the job and I've been allowing myself to get angry. Setting boundaries comes in many forms. That could be something worth exploring, too: if there's a place where an expectation isn't clearly enough defined and is taxing you too much.

    I think the most frustration I've seen in my senior devs is the perceived obligation to be the 'mom' of the group with junior devs and interns who seemingly never listen to instructions. Or the PM who thinks their job is to whip their dev team and lie about deadlines. Or maybe it's that new tech that a higher up wants to adopt but is essentially a square peg for a round hole. Deciding how to deal with this kind of stuff is part of setting healthy realistic boundaries, too.
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