I was thinking about switching to Dvorak but then I learned that there are no significant study that it really does improve typing speeds. I don't feel like switching for something with so little gain and I return people will look at me like i'm hermit hipster. I mean they're doing that already. I don't have friends. Pls send help

Use Colemak. I use it, and it's better than Dvorak. Plus it keeps some keys the same, so you can use Ctrl-Z, Ctrl-X etc shortcuts as before.
Also, like Dvorak, it keeps the home row as ARSTDHNEIO(similar to Dvorak's AEOUIDHTNS). It also assigns Backspace to the Caps Lock key(some love it, some hate it, but it's not a biggie).
Link: https://colemak.com/

And to think qwerty was set up to limit typing speed ☺

I've switched to Colemak recently. First two weeks are a pain for writing words but after it becomes easier. Shortcuts for ide, windows, etc, are another thing to relearn. But it worths.

@tomb First few weeks of Colemak after QWERTY is indeed frustrating(since you type the old key by mistake a lot). But after that it fixes itself automatically, and now I actually see the opposite happening.