75
devphobe
112d

How most recruiter emails go these days:

- Hiring multiple senior lead engineers <— That’s me
- 180k+ <— I like it.
- Must have experience with AWS, GCE, AND Azure <— Okay, you’re looking for a unicorn
- Kubernetes expert
- Experience with Rust, Node, and .NET <— What type of fucking company are you?
- Must be on call and 25% travel <— Why?
- Preferred: experience with printer repair, Raid Arrays, CAT5, and Microsoft Access <— Y’all fucked up somewhere a long time ago. I’m out.

Comments
  • 22
    Rust and .NET?? Ok...and um where exactly will you be traveling?? Why would a developer need to travel?
  • 13
    Must be proficient in c++,
    kubernetes, CSS, React, Elixir, Machine Learning, MS SQL Server, embedded programming, Ruby on Rails, AI, Arduino, and Azure
  • 21
    Where are you seeing all these $180k/year jobs?! Is this some Silicon Valley median?
  • 10
    I’m interested in the Rust and Node js requirement. VERY INTERESTED. Also in the codebase that combines them....🤨
  • 4
    @TeachMeCode Must be Deno.
  • 12
    Travel must be taking trips to fix people’s printers. Bc that’s what developers are good at. Expect to be asked to unjam a printer in the middle of unit testing
  • 8
    @TeachMeCode don't forget rewriting the printer driver on the field during printer repairs.
  • 3
    @theKarlisK do you think they’d reject me if I have every requirement except for printer repair? Lol
  • 2
    @platypus I love in Research Triangle Park.... it’s the Silicon Valley of the east coast
  • 1
  • 4
    Knows how to tie Cobol with react
  • 7
    @platypus I can imagine the codebase being like a platypus...it’s a creature with a strange combination of body parts like the beak, venomous claw, can lay eggs and is mammal. The system is a creature using a strange combination of languages like node and rust...actually that fits the job description too. Only difference is that the platypus is cool lol
  • 3
    @platypus Pretty sure that the 180k is just a bait...
  • 5
    @JFK422 "whoops that 0 was a typo. It doesn’t belong there"
  • 1
    @TeachMeCode you could probably tell them that you can and hope that you don't... tho, that job description sounds pretty terrible.
  • 2
    I feel like I need more details on the printer repair component to this job. Like HP, Epson, Dell? Do I just need to know how to change the ink?
  • 3
    I guess if something does not work, they want you to fix it, no matter if the problem is in your projekt, framework, library, language or kernel. You will just turn your favourite music and find solution.

    Also because they want to save money they would jump from cloud provider to cloud provider.
  • 2
    @fiftyhz As long as you know “California cows won’t dance the Fandango” you’ll be okay!
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