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Creep16364yWe are hyper agile (Once you finished your task we remember that the requirements have changed 3 months ago and you quite possibly have to redo everything) - 
				
				Company: what we develop is state of the art (20 year old deprecated shit that dosen't scale)
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				Company: we are diverse (hires female developer they don’t need because she’s a lezza and has blue hair)
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				@bashleigh ...treats her like she’s 5, gives her a medal for existing, doesn’t know what to do with a backend JavaScript dev when their entire stack is PHP
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kiki374864y@bashleigh it’s a shame devrant doesn’t have an option to make blue haired avatar isn’t it - 
				
				
mucalena5544ySounds like someone might be exhausted enough to get a new dev job with 40% salary increase. - 
				
				
kiki374864y@bashleigh well, here’s your medal anyway🏅
Not for existing tho but for that really cool website of yours. Perhaps only the swipe animations are a bit jerky but web sometimes be like that - 
				
				Company: we care about you coming to the office (so we can micromanage the shit out of you).
Company: we set buttloads of meetings (so we can blame ICs for not working enough).
Company: we organise team-building events and shits (for giggles and forcing employees to stay at the office). 

Company: we care about work/life balance (as long as shit gets done)
Company: we care about mental well-being (except when shit has to be done "now!")
Company: we help each other (we push work around until someone finally do it)
Company: management is here to help you do your work (as long as you don't ask them to help you to solve a real problem)
Company: we are agile (except we have more sub-processes than ever)
Company: we only hire best (and then put them in the team of morons)
Company: we are customer centric (that's why we are delivering bugged features)
Company: we constantly rise the bar (deliver more shit in shorter time)
... did I forget about something?
rant